Sunday, August 19, 2007

A Gigantic Update Regarding My Little Brother

Upon my highly intelligible advice my little brother has decided to start a blog and chronicle his progress in the seduction community and has changed his pseudonym from Glassjaw (a band's name) to Happy Endings (a band's name...sorta, the band was actually called Happy Ending...singular; his new name is plural just because that's how he handles the ladies).

* Interesting side note
Both my dog and my brother's dog are named after bands too.
Coincidence? I think not. We have a lot in common. Although the pseudonym I use in this community does not come from a band name, I have a very prominent email address that combined both my Ex-Boyfriend's band name and a name of a song he wrote about me. [End of side note] Now, on to the good news.

My brother will be in LA next Saturday 8/25 for his 21st birthday and we're going to celebrate. I am so excited. Yay! I really want to get a t-shirt for Saturday that says "My little brother has more game than you" as I wrote in this blog post.

My brother has canceled his Stylelife 505 subscription (for now) because he has a girlfriend and felt like the challenges weren't progressing. After several months he said he was still getting material that was focused on approaching, while he was getting stuck in comfort with kiss closing.

I have written about my little brother plenty of times on this blog. You can read about my little brother joining the game. I also mention him in these blogs: Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, and click.
May everyone have a younger brother like mine.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Laughter Yoga: What is it?

WHAT IS LAUGHTER YOGA?
Laughter Yoga mixes healing laughter with moderately-light movement, and invigorating breathing exercises.

Well, what is laugher?
“Laughter is a virtue, a soul-expanding delight that shortens time. Every laugh you manage cuts short the miles and hours and days of drudgery. You can ascend the physical body on laughter. Let [laughter] give you balance, perspective, poise and patience.” Miriams-Well

Then, what is yoga?
“Yoga is a system of exercises which help your control of the body and mind. It also improves your breathing and focuses the alignment of your body, [mind, and spirit].” BBC

Or

“A Hindu series of mental, spiritual and physical exercises designed to aid in enlightenment. The exercise component of Yoga is often practiced in the West as an aid to healthy living.” Religious Tolerance

Laughter Yoga is a revolutionary form of body-mind exercise that combines yoga breathing and laughter exercises to improve your health and vitality, to decrease everyday stress and to promote a more positive mental attitude. It’s easy, fun and is a method that works for everyone!

What are the scientific benefits of Laughter Yoga?
- Reduces pain.
- Strengthens the immune system stimulating the production of T-cells and NK cells which help to fight cancerous cells and tumors.
- Improves circulation and strengthens the heart.
- Reduces anger and anxiety.
- Reduces stress.
- Burns calories and keeps you looking young.
- Improves stamina.
- Alleviates respiratory problems.
and
- Improves self-confidence and social skills.

Is Laughter Yoga similar to the (more popularly known) Western practice of yoga for healthy living?
Laughter Yoga is similar to the popular-Western practice of yoga in as much as both are practices toward unity of mind, body, and spirit through a series of exercises. However, laughter yoga does not involve the physical yoga positions. Laughter Yoga consists of light-impact movement, with uplifting laughter, and beneficial breathing exercises.

Do I have to do YOGA POSITIONS at Laughter Yoga?
No, Laughter Yoga does not require traditional yoga positions. However, anyone interested in doing some yoga stretches during Laughter Yoga can do them during free-movement exercises.

What can I expect at Laughter Yoga?
You can expect a series of low-impact group exercises that involve modest movement, enriching laughter, and yoga breathing. This video is a good indicator of what to expect: http://www.youtube.com/laughteryoga

For Laughter Yoga, do I need a sense of humor? Do I need to be in a good mood? Do I need reasons to laugh?
No, you do not need to have a sense of humor, be in a good mood or even have a reason to laugh to do Laughter Yoga.

Who can participate in Laugher Yoga?
Absolutely everyone is welcome at Laughter Yoga, especially beginners. Accommodations are made for those with special needs. Laughter Yoga crosses all barriers: age, gender, language, culture, physical abilities, race, religion, political beliefs, etc. Laughter is part of the universal human vocabulary. All members of the human species understand it.

Is the laughter in Laughter Yoga fake or real?
Most laughter exercises start out with simulated laughter to stimulate real laughter. In time fake laughter becomes genuine and flows out like a fountain.

Are there any hidden agendas involved with Laughter Yoga?
No, hidden agenda involved in Laugher Yoga:
* Non-Political
* Non-Religious
* Non-Exploitive
* Non-Competitive
* Non-Perfectionistic
* Non-Threatening

Where can I find out more about Laugher Yoga?
Call today for more information: 310-471-5773 or check out http://www.laughteryoga.org/about-laughter-yoga2.php

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Gulity Pleasures: iPod!

I love it!

I bought an iPod over a month ago and I am hooked. I think Steve Jobs and his crew deserve some kind of noble peace prize for inventing such a marvelous device. Before I bought the iPod, I had a couple hundred songs, nothing organized or even uploaded to my iTunes. Now, my hard drive is full. But that's because I found a way to scan and upload my books onto my iPod and because I discovered podcasts (another amazing invention, if you ask me).

My school provides a software program called Kurzweil. This software read written text and read it out loud. It also allows the student to take notes on the computer as it reads. It's a learning tool for students with disabilities. It also has a nifty feature that creates an audio mp3 file. So, now my books are on my iPod.

Since I'm not taking summer school, I put several recreational books on my iPod. I have read about 9 books in the last several weeks. Scratch that. My iPod has read about 9 books to me over the last few weeks. It has read to me:

~The Alchemist
~A Passion for Life
~The Einstein Factor
~The Secret
~The Tipping Point
~Writing to Change the World
~7 Habits of Highly Effective people
~Writing Great Essays
~Writing about Literature

Besides books, I've gone podcast crazy; my disk drive is full of so many different kinds of information. Meditation, self-help, and relationship stuff dominate my podcast queue. I'll start making podcast recommendations along with book reviews, as time allows.

I am a writing and I want to spend more time writing. Enjoy.

Laughter Yoga: How it can benefit your seduction, it's no laughing matter

Hahaha! A friend of mine mentioned the concept of Laughter Yoga to me recently and this week I was able to try it out for the first (and second) time. I couldn't help but think that laughter yoga would be a useful "Day 2"/date or even a great place to meet HB (granted the group has to have HBs already enrolled for this to be beneficial).

I haven't actually tested this in the field but these are my thoughts regarding laughter yoga and seduction.

DHV:
It demonstrates that you have a fun-active lifestyle.

Identity:
If your identity involved healthy, active, social, fun, etc aspects, laughter yoga may just help with congruency.

Social Proof:
You may be one of the only young, available men in the group and girls will respond to you being surrounded by other women.

Peacocking:
Some men wouldn't be caught dead doing anything yoga related. At least that's the attitude my friend Action Adam feels. He says "I only do manly things and yoga isn't manly enough". My friend Action Adam is not a PUA and it shows. Chicks dig this shit. So laughter yoga isn't a flashy top hat or navigation goggles but I think it's much more powerful than any outfit you could wear.

Kino:
There is ample opportunity for light-social kino. Some activities involved clapping hands or comforting touching with other laughter yoga participants.

Comfort:
Endorphins are released during sex and laughter. Allow a HB to tag along while you attend your laughter yoga class will allow here to feel comfortable with you and will also leave her feeling similar sensations to post-coital bliss (which she will associate to you)

InnerGame:
You'll feel better which will have an effect on all aspects of your life, including seduction.

Brief Description of Laughter Yoga:

This revolutionary form of body-mind exercise combines yoga breathing and laughter exercises to improve health & vitality, lessen pain & everyday stress and promote a more positive mental attitude.

You do not need to have a sense of humor, be in a good mood or even have a reason to laugh to do Laughter Yoga. It's easy and it's fun!

Recent News:
Laughter Yoga on You Tube...Check it out!

http://www.youtube.com/laughteryoga

Check out these babies...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ayHcA_n7VY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vfSk-6tIvo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFHcFGKPMQ4

Benefits:

Most people believe that the statement " Laughter is the best medicine" is a stupid cliche that our parents tell us, much like "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." But recent scientific research proves otherwise. Mentally and physically laughter is extremely beneficial.

People are beginning to realize that laughter can even increase the survival rate of cancer patients. Laughter is a reaction the body has to stimulus. That stimulus does not necessarily have to be humor.

According to Dr. Paul Mcghee (of www.laughterremedy.com) Laughter can do all of the following:

- reduce pain
- strengthen the immune system stimulating the production of T-cells and NK cells which help to fight cancerous cells and tumors
- Improves circulation and strengthens the heart
- Reduces anger and anxiety
- reduces stress
- Burns calories and keeps you looking young
- improves stamina
- alleviates respiratory problems
and - improves self confidence and social skills

With the world on our shoulders, we are faced with global warming, war, climate changes,terrorism and political unrest, laughter is so important to our mental health as well.

SO, LAUGH A LITTLE MORE EACH DAY. SPREAD THE WORD AND THE LAUGHTER, SPREAD GOOD HEALTH AND CHANGE THE WORLD.

** note if you suffer from severe respiratory or heart conditions laughter could be damaging.
** also as with anything else, too much laughter isn't a good thing.

{I will finish this post shortly...enjoy what is here until I can edit this post further}

Guilty Pleasures: Designer Water

I love designer water, especially some of the newer ones I have tried recently.

I saw Penn & Teller's "Bullshit" regarding bottled water and have to admit that I'm a bottle-water nutjob.

eBrad, the newest guy I'm dating that I met on eHarmony, put my water-taste buds to the test and I passed. I could tell which one was tap and which one was bottled.

My favorites seem to be the ones that claim to be enhanced w/ energy or electrolytes or anything else I feel I need enhanced water for.

I love the bottle shapes too. I got a designer bottle of water at a club and it was shaped like a flask.

Others have cool art work on the inside of the bottle, or inspirational messages, or bright colors. The bottled water industry makes billions a year and if you believe Mr. Penn and, his mute sidekick, Mr. Teller the water that comes out of your tap is just as good if not better.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Through the Iris - 10 years

Through The Iris lyrics by 10 years

Cherish
Two circular views of blue with a gray shade
So captivating
More than you know

False perceptions
That brought forth these questions of
Truth, love and hope
Now that you're injuring
I carry you with me just
Please hold on

Disappear and dissolve
A weakening wall
Will one day fall
It's wise to sever our loss
I redefine pulse
Through the iris

Love's not all lost
But it's nailed to my cross
And crucified all that I've held on
To be awaiting
Anticipating a touch such as yours

False affection
A spawn of neglecting
A love, lust, hoax
Please understand me
That now where you're standing
Is closer then I'd hoped

Disappear and dissolve
A weakening wall
Will one day fall
It's wise to sever our loss
I redefine pulse
Through the iris

Your Iris
Your Iris

Disappear and dissolve
A weakening wall
Will one day fall
It's wise to sever our loss
I redefine pulse
Through the iris

Disappear and dissolve
A weakening wall
Will one day fall
It's wise to sever our loss
I redefine pulse
A new iris

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Seduction and Social Proof

In the last 12 weeks, I have had very little time to do anything other than school related things which basically means I've had little-to-no time for seduction-community related things, except for the occasional updating from my little brother or school friends regarding their sarging.

My Little Brother; Glassjaw

he's one of styles 505.

from what I can tell from my little brother, He's doing fairly well. He's making up his own routines, meeting several girls a week, going on interesting dates, and overall catching on well. His routines are unique and fit him well and he's proud of making them up and using a lot of his own material. I told him he should create a blog or post some of his routines on line, but he had a typical male response;he's afraid exposure would limit his results. I tried to explain to them by the time anybody in this town that he currently lives in learns how to do His routines, he'd be doing new routines. I don't think he bought it.

His biggest sticking point now is kissing, which I find incredibly adorable. My brother is fairly young, and, I think, inexperienced. He's afraid that his nervousness will transfer to the girl while he's kissing her and she'll get too nervous to kiss back (or something like that). I really enjoy the naïve of what he told me. I tried to give them some advice. Not sure if he took any of it. He asked me how "He Who is Him" (H. W. H.), first kissed me. I told them the best I could recall. And I told him after he does it couple times, it won't be a big deal. He is trying come up with his own routine on how to kiss close but he is stuck. I told him to check out some seduction community techniques. He says this is his hardest sticking point, and he's been working on it the longest.

He really likes everything is learning and he really wants to become a pickup artists instructor. I guess I should not be surprised. my brother and I have always shared common interests; I like the suggestion community, he likes his seduction community. I want to teach men how to pick up women, so does he. maybe he'll change his mind after a while.

Dr. Yes, my school friends.

at one point I was calling him my writing partner, but is now my writing partner because he doesn't help me write anything he just listens to me talk about what I wonder. In a previous blog I named him Dr. Yes because I thought it was a cool name, and figured he could use the boost in ego. He's been quoted as saying he "gets yeses with surgical precision." But I don't think he's been doing too much or in regards to the seduction community or sarging. However, when I left him last night, he was getting very comfortable with a very attractive young lady. we're going out tonight, so we'll see what kind of trouble we can create.

I don't know the status of Dr. yeses love-life but I do know he's helped my love life in more ways than one; social proof is powerful.

I'm actually getting ready to go, so I'll write more about this later.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

"schools out for summer"and I found my cell phone, + Puff Puff Pass it along

Spring quarter officially ended last night from me... Yay! And I found my cell phone in my room when I went to do the laundry... double Yay!! And I'd like to introduce a new segment to my blog called Puff Puff Pass It Along... triple Yay!!!

Puff Puff Pass It Along

Introduction

I would like to share my words reflecting my admiration, knowledge, suggestions, and stories regarding my favorite kind of medication, medical cannabis. I don't have much time now to share everything with you now. However over the summer I would like to write more until then I will leave you with what many of my friends have been asking me for, the location of a doctor in Hollywood, who prescribes medical cannabis.

1-877-Got-Kush
open noon to 5 p.m. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.
1017 North La Cienega Suite 110.
West Hollywood California.

My apologies to those that don't live in the area. Doctors are somewhat easy to find, if you're looking for them. Good luck.

That's all I got for now until next time, keep it green.

*this blog was created with the assistance of Dragon Naturally Speaking Software. Thank God for technology.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

I lost my cell

And it's on silent (no vibration). It's been missing since Friday and I feel so fucking disconnected. Every single # I don't have memorized is stored in that phone. All my appointments and reminders....ugh. Next week is finals. I was in unmanageable amounts of pain for the previous two weeks and I am still feeling the effects of the pain now. I asked for another paper extension and I am going to be receiving an INCOMPLETE in one of my course. Making up all my missed assignments during the summer. I've just been unable to physically keep up with the demands of such a rigorous educational structure. I'd write more but It hurts. I've Dragon voice recognition software but it only works if there are no other noises around me when I am working, not ideal for an academic setting, if you ask me. In one more week I'll be free for the summer...yay!

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Lyrics for the now: Brett Dennen


By & By Lyrics
Artist(Band):Brett Dennen


listen close, as close as I am to you
like the bell of liberty, I'll ring a sound that's true
and days go by and seasons too
in time our love may digress with the words we can renew

oh, i'll tell you that I
I love you by and by
I don't know if I'd survive
without a friend like you in my life

and I know words can be the worst to pervey
how it is I feel for you, it's hard for me to say
but if we keep it simple, I think it's better that way
tingled words tend to lead my messages astray

oh, i'll tell you that I
I love you by and by
I don't know if I'd survive
without a friend like you in my life

this web we weave
holds us hand in hand
and if we loosen our grips
we may weaken these strands
so lets reinforce our love and let it echo through the land
and if we don't we may find ourselves washed up with the sand

oh, i'll tell you that I
I love you by and by
I don't know if I'd survive
without a friend like you in my life

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

I'm exhausted and there are still 2 more weeks left of school

I think I am going to have to officially change my address to the address of the school library since I've spent more time there than at my actually house in the last week.

I know it's been beautiful outside, and as much as I'd like to spend time outside with the trees, unless it involves me studying than it's really not a priority. Besides my books are made out of paper, which is made out of trees, so I feel one with nature just by being a good student.

I didn't even realize what day it was because I barely had a weekend. I spent most of it studying or preparing for something school related. I need a break.

I can't wait for summer.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Quote of the moment: Wollstonecraft

''I have a heart that scorns disguise, and a countenance which will not dissemble.''

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Most Random Blog Ever!

I found my purpose in life today:

To challenge social conventions through my art.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Monogamy is like Chinese

Did you know Mandarin Chinese is most spoken language in the world? I do not speak Chinese in any form. I tried learning a few words once but I just could not pronounce the very detailed accents that are required to speak Chinese well. And I just could not commit to the discipline it takes to learn such a complicated language. I have a great appreciation for the language and culture of the Chinese. I mean, 3 billion people could not be wrong, could they? But it is not for me. Not now at least. I have a high level of honor for people who happen to master Chinese.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Arrrgggghhh!!!!!

I just found my movie magic screenwriter software broken in two piece....I want to cry. That fucking cost $200.....shit!

Lyrics of the now: "Undercover on" Rival Schools

I'm not exactly sure what these lyrics mean but I have a distinct feeling I've been on the other end of these lyrics more than once, especially recently.

The lyrics are unedited from another website (there are errors):

Crept on you slowly
But faster than you could see
It抯 not like I noticed
I wouldn抰 be the first one you let in
The same person that you know would forget to be honest
I might be the furthest from your mind
Whatever you told me somehow you sold me on
I want to believe it 憈il I see later on
Apparition counterfeit
Can this racket go on another year
Overconfident, maybe
You抮e still here
Misplaced my fear
Whatever you told me, somehow you sold me on
I want to believe it 憈il I see later on
You cross the other way
And hope I didn抰 see you
I start calling out your name
Cause I want to meet you again
Don抰 know why you say you抮e doing fine
That抯 not what it looks like
Something doesn抰 feel right
You抮e undercover抯 on
You抮e acting kind of warm
But soon you抳e got to leave
There抯 something you need
I抦 not invited to go
Those people that you know
Well, they don抰 care about you
Could live easily without you

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Yay! it's going to be hot for at least the next 3 days

That means I can wear summery cute stuff....yay! I don't know why wearing a cute dress/skirt makes me so happy but it does. Today's going to be the hottest. Too bad I am studying for a English midterm that I have to take tomorrow. I'd rather be at the beach or next to the pool.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

In the Grand Fashion of this blog; more randomness

I Love He Who is Him (or Him Who is He)

I really don't want to say a whole lot about this right now but I will later when I have more time and energy to construct the right combination of words to express what I truly mean by those words.

With that being said, let the radio show begin. Welcome all.

I've got so much to say and not nearly enough time or energy to say it all...or to type out correctly (error free). So, what you get is what you get, for now. I'll clean it all up as soon as I get a moment to breathe. I can only physically move so fast. My mind seems to race off faster than I can keep up with it. And I am easily distractable. It's really not funny either. My mind works weirdly, especially my memories.

I came into class earlier in this quarter and the professor said "I missed you this morning at 9am". I looked puzzled and said "Really?" "You were supposed to meet at 9 this morning to go over your paper." Puzzlement quickly shifted to confusion. "I was?" He barked back "That's what I had written on your paper."

I honestly have no recollection of making a 9 o'clock appointment with my professor. This really tripped me out because it's not the first time someone has told me I have said or did something or they saw me somewhere, when I have no memory of it. And then after they tell me all about it. I think about and I think about and then I think I start to remember and I have idea if I am remembering or just imagining it based off what they told me happened. It's really disorientating sometimes. It's like I don't know which way is up or right.

I had a girl tell me that she had a picture of me and her and another guy together at an event we were at. I told her I didn't remember taking a photo with her all night. She sent me the electronic version of the photos and I swear, it's not me. I even asked my friends. I really that I don't look at myself all day long. I look at other people all day long and other people look at me all day long. But I know I know what I look like in a god damn photograph. I've had professional pictures taken and I've seen myself on film enough times to know what I look like and I did not take a photo with that girl.

So if you think that text message "I just saw your twin" is a jealousy ploy it's not. If you saw a girl that look just like me, I would tell you to go and talk to her and tell me if she's anything like me and if she was, I'd ask you to bring her home. I want to know what a girl like me looks like. I wanna know how she acts. I want know how she thinks. I want pet her and play with her. And tell her stories. But the thing is, she doesn't exist.

But that wasn't what I was getting at. I was talking about memory. Memory is weird. The brain and all it's programming and biological technologies overwhelm me.

There's a reason why humans only use less than 10% of their brain (or what ever the statistic is). It's because the human brain is so powerful that humans can not handle it's full potential. We can barely handle the little we're utilizing.

I had a great day today. One of those days were something internal clicks and you feel like you've been given another piece of the puzzle. One of those days you feel on top of the world as if you can make a difference. One of those days when you're filled with hope so bright it glows strongly from your chest. One of those days when you remember your goals are to leave this place better than you found it. One of those days your heart feels bigger than any ego you've ever encountered and the day is perfect but it's one of those days that a tragedy would have to drag you out of the clouds. You know, one of those days you feel connected to every great person you ever knew, loved, or who lived. I know you know what I am writing about. I feel this way every so often. And I know if I feel it you feel it too. It's not something we talk about often. But we're all capable of it and know I am not the only one that feels this way.

I want to learn to set goals and follow through because I am going to change the world for a collective betterment. And I am going to need so help. Is anyone with me?

There's so much I want to type but I am tired...feeling this passionately can be draining. And I have a cold. I am just lucky I got out bed today. I hope I don't lose my inspiration in the night.

If you're sleeping next to the one you love, may they find their way into your arms soon enough. Goodnight.

Unedited

Optimists tend to respond to disappointments by formulating a plan and asking others for help

HELP! I need a plan....hahahhhahaha. I'd love to write more but I have a paper to finish.

Some advice I gave my girlfriends today

Below is some advice I shared with some of my girlfriends today. Maybe it will help someone out in cyberspace, so I am sharing it here:

I love you. You're such a beautiful and talented person, independent and daring. I think you've made a lot of progress recently. I am proud of you. And I miss. I think you should really give yourself credit for what you have been able to accomplish.

Here are some tips from what I've been learning about "self-talk":

~When you feel a shift in your mood (for example, if you start feeling sad, angry, anxious) take a step back from what ever you are doing and relax. Then take the time to really examine what you've been telling yourself. What is important is to take note of your negative internal monologue.

~Identifying self-talk may require unraveling several distinct thoughts from a single word or image. You may think to yourself "Oh no!" and then have a rush of memories, thoughts, or associations.

~It's hard to evaluate the validity of a belief you're scarcely aware of-- you usually just accept it as is. But Self-talk is typically irrational but almost alway sounds like the truth. "What-if" thinking may lead you to expect the worst possible outcome in a given situation, one that is highly unlikely to occur. Yet because the association takes place so quickly, it goes unchallenged and unquestioned.

~Negative self-talk perpetuates avoidance. By continuing to avoid situations and people, you reinforce the thought that it's dangerous. You may even project images of catastrophe around the prospect of confronting the situation. In short, anxious self-talk leads to avoidance, avoidance begets further anxious self-talk, and around and around the cycle goes.

~ Negative self-talk is a series of bad habits. You aren't born with a predisposition to fearful self talk: you learn to think that way. Just as you can replace unhealthy behavioral habits, such as smoking or drinking excess coffee, with more positive, health-promoting behavior, you can replace unhealthy thinking with more positive, supportive mental habits; Bear in mind that the acquisition of positive mental habits takes the same persistence and practice required for learning new behaviors.

~Countering negative self-talk involves writing down and rehearsing positive statements which directly refute or invalidate your negative self-talk.

~ By starting to notice when you're engaging in negativity, and then countering it with positive, supportive statements to yourself, you'll begin to turn your thinking around. With practice and consistent effort, you'll change both the way you think and feel on an ongoing basis.

~ Challenge your negative self-talk with these questions:

1) what is the evidence for this?
2) is this always true?
3) Has this been true in the past?
4) What are the odds of this catastrophe happening?
5) What is the very worst that could happen? What is so bad about that? What would I do if the worst happened?
6) Am I looking at the whole picture?
7) Am I being fully objective?

Positive statements you can say to yourself:

"So what",
"I can handle this",
"I can be bothered by this situation and still get through it",
"This may be difficult, but I can tolerate a little anxiety, knowing that it will pass.",
"I'm O.K. the way I am.",
"I'm lovable and capable",
"I'm a unique and creative person",
"I deserve the good things in life as much as anyone else",
"I accept and believe in myself",
"I'm worthy of the respect and love of others.",
"I don't have to be all better tomorrow"
"I can continue to make progress one step at a time"
"I acknowledge the progress I've made and will continue to improve"
"It's never too late to change"
"I'm willing to see the glass as half full rather than half empty"

So much to post so little time to post it all

I've been neglecting more than just my blog lately. I've got to figure out the whole time management thing because I feel like running in circles. Maybe it's just this cold. I should give myself credit, I've gotten a lot of things done in the last several weeks. I'll update when I have a bit more time. Right now, I should be preparing for something school related. I hope everyone is have a great week.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Forbes link fixed

I fixed the link to the Forbes article. It should work now. Enjoy!

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Things I cannot live without: Girlfriends

They are great. I wish I had more. Now, I have to work on my English paper. I've been dicking around all day.

Life is NOT perfect but parts of it are excellent

Perfection is overrated. This is a random rant. And it may ramble. A basic observation I have about humans, including myself, is they constantly want more than what they have but they do not always utilize all they have. I'm sure if you thought about it long enough you could probably think of example for every desire people have.

I have a friend who wants to be a comedian. We'll call him the "Komedy Kid"[Side note: for those of you who have actually read my blog, he is also know as the tagalong kid, or something like that, in a post made earlier in the year. He's the guy who said "Ohmygod! This (PUA stuff) is going to change my life; I am going to have babies." Side note ending] He bitches and moans about it all the time and he is constantly criticizing others. He thinks he knows how to do everything right but when it comes time to doing it, he doesn't, and then he always has an excuse.

I was supposed to see him perform comedy a couple times and both times I ended up flaking on him. So the third time he invited me out, I actually made an effort to see him perform. So here's the scenario:

It's late on a school night. I'm usually in bed before the show even starts. I just left the library, where I was working on writing a paper that was due that week. So, before the night even starts, I can think of at least two different places I'd rather be and two different things I would rather be doing than seeing comedy in a dingy room of some brewery in a college town. Namely in a lover's bed, sleeping after sex.


So Komedy Kid had better pull some Kung-fu komedy out of his ass or I'm going to be pissed I even showed up. So I show up with my girlfriend from school. For all the PUAs out there reading this blog, we all know each other from class. Some of our other friends show up and it's on. Except for it's not really on. We go in and nothing is ready. But I play it cool and try to relax because I am there to support a friend. And I'm stoned so it really doesn't matter. We're the only people in this room. Well, it was us and some of the comedians but it was mostly use. So the first comedian goes on, to warm the crowd up. And at this point there's less than 10 people in the room and I am one of three girls huddled near the front.

I'm an easy target, dressed in red, with a cute red hat to cover my blood shot eyes, and a form fitting red jacket to match my wine red lips and a fluffy red scarf to match my beat up old red sketchers. "What's your major?" the first comedian hurlers at me. "English" I bat back to him as I turn to figure out where my friend is and why he's not performing. That first comedian ends his set fairly quickly. Then a girl comedian gets up. Luckily she doesn't see me as an easy target. She tells some funny jokes about dating and her set ends a while later.

The whole time I am thinking my friends going to be the next comedian on. But not it's another older comic. He also thinks I am a great target, I play along....ha ha he! But he quickly looses my interest after a while but I am fine because I am still stoned and he's not completely awful. Although it's uncomfortable when he starts saying he'd eat a girls pussy in the audience. It just came off inappropriate and uncomfortable since it was just out of no where in his routine. He's calling for the next comedian to come to the stage but the next comedian isn't in the room. And there's a delays, so he stays on stage for a bit longer.

The next comedian is actually someone I have heard of and do know of, Godfrey. I remember seeing this guy first on the "IT Factor" on the bravo channel or one of those cable t.v. stations. I used to watch it years ago. And he was on it. He auditioned for SevenUp and he then became the SevenUP guy. He probably got paid well for it and I'd say it was probably a bit of an accomplishment to be black spokesperson for a major soda corporation and not be an athlete. As far as I know, he was fairly unknown at the time of getting that spot and he's still fairly unknown. It's pretty cool to have minority as a spokesperson. I'm rambling.

By the time he had gotten to the stage I had to pee, so I excused myself and when I came back. I decided not to sit back near the front with my friends. Instead I hung out with Komedy Kid near the back. Godfrey went on for ever and he was only mediocre in laughablity. I mean, when he was funny, he was really funny. But when he wasn't, he was sorta like this blog, just white noise to fill space (well, in his case black noise but who's counting?)

So I am sitting next the Komedy Kid and every time Godfrey boring, he gets fidgety. Then his fidgetiness turns to mopiness. And he begins sighing and grumbling softly to himself but so much so that I can see his anguish out of the corner of my blind eye. And I turn to him....

And if his body language could talk, it would be screaming "I'M A BIG BABY! WAH!"

I tried to silently console him by patting him on the back. I was hoping to cheer him up before he went on because I knew that a bad attitude would effect his performance. But he wasn't having any of my consoling.

When he did eventually get up; everyone left the room but his five friends and a few of the remaining comedians. He did not handle it well. They have a turn for the way he handled it; he coked. And it looked bad. At one point, he even got made at the audience, his friends, for not laughing at his terrible timing and pathetic jokes. I was no longer stoned and wished I had been. He didn't stay on stage long before he called up the next comedian and he practices some really lame jokes on us. But the best point of the night was when the last comic, a midget, got on stage and referred to me as "Blossom". I was done. It was already the next day and I was ready to leave.

My friend really pissed me off about it too. He had a shitty attitude about it and blamed the whole thing on the Godfrey. What a chump. He didn't take any responsibility for his own actions and basically said there was nothing he could have done in that situation. I was pissed I even showed up because he disappointed me in his ability to handle a difficult situation.

He bitches and moans that he doesn't have quality comedy gigs but then he doesn't take advantage of the opportunities he has. It's a real shame too because he's really talented but his own by negative outlook is going to limit his success.

I was actually started to respect the kid in creative ways. He's very sharp and witty. He's just too young and stupid to take advantage of it.

He's waiting for the perfect gig to come along but he's not willing to learn, grow, and improve with the imperfect gigs first.

It's like people want more money but they don't even use the money they already have wisely. Or people want the perfect partner but they aren't appreciated the good things they already have in the person their with. It's like wanting a better job but not performing well at your current job. Or wanting more opportunities but pissing away the opportunities they already have.

I need to get back to working on my English paper. This post will remain unedited until further notice.3:22

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Check out the "Dump the Couch!" article in Forbes

Check out the "Dump the Couch!" article in Forbes

Thu, April 26, 2007 - 7:43 PM
http://cttoday.org/?p=198

I know I mentioned this previously, somewhere; I only read newspapers and magazines while I'm waiting, usually in a doctor's office lobby. Fortunate for me (or unfortunate, depending on how you look at it) that I've been doing a lot of waiting in a lot of doctor's offices during a majority of the last two years.

Most the time, what I read is diabolically devoid of all density; such publications with Britney or Paris on the cover or other such tarts, covered or uncovered, within the publication. Occasionally, I’ll stumble upon a political piece; but most of the times, at least in recent times, the pages are filed with similar scandals of those starring Lindsey or Nicole. But on the rarest of occasions I have the honor of having something truly enlightening to read while waiting in those dreadful waiting rooms.

Today, I had the pleasure of happening upon a Forbes. Imagine my delight. I can not honestly remember the last time I read through a Forbes. For some odd reason, stemming from strange developmental experiences; I have a fixation for quality magazines. I used to read Time magazine, when I was a kid, every time I went over to baby sit the neighbor’s kids. After I put the kids to bed I would pour through stacks of Time Magazines. I loved it. Time magazine represented something very special to me as adolescent. Time magazines are a little easier to find at Doctor’s offices, although not as easy as finding exclusive dirt on Christina or someone related to Anna Nicole.

The cover of Forbes caught my eye and I read through most of the article about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. As some of you may recall, I have been working on self-improvement since I moved to Los Angeles, about 7 months ago. What many of you probably don’t know is that I have been participating in cogitative behavioral therapy groups and learning about difference aspects of it, for my own benefit (not to go into it as a profession). I am really enjoying it and I feel like I am slowly (but steadily) progressing well.

I would definitely recommend it to any of my friend and anyone looking for a better way to handle life’s difficulties. Students and others on medical insurance should ask their provider if any CBT services are available to you.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Pressure

I've been under a lot of stress and pressure lately. I'll be back to blogging when things settle down.

Monday, April 16, 2007

See, even my mom gets it

I'm not sure why I was so worried about my mom. Everything worked out fine. I picked her up from LAX and we went to breakfast at my favorite fifties restaurant in L.A.

I can't remember who started talking about the seduction community but before long she was telling me about my brother's experiences and I was telling her about my research. And at some point, I realize, my mom understands the seduction community and my interests in it.

She practically described it to me in a very similar fashion to how I have described it.

She also thinks that it's great for my brother and she said he joined a gym. She even acted out one of the unique opening routines my brother created. Hahahahaha...Oh wow.

Life is beautiful. I'd write more but I am exhausted.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

My Inner Game Issues: Stress Management

You may not believe how much stress interferes with my interpersonal relationships. I'm currently learning to manage my stress more effectively but it's hard.

My mom called me yesterday to tell me she's flying into LAX tomorrow (which is really today, Sunday). She mentioned this to me previously but what she didn't mention before was that she expected me to chauffeur her around for the duration of three days.

She has business in Irvine this week. So she wants me to drive her out there today after she exhausts me. Then she wants me to pick her up, drive her to Orange County, attend a party with her next Saturday afternoon and take her back to Irvine. And finally, she wants me to pick her up from her hotel in Irvine to take her back to the airport on Sunday. Ugh.

Then on the phone, she gave me a guilt trip about her having to consider getting a rental car. I hate guilt trips because they always trip me up.

I guess it wouldn't be so stressful, if I felt caught up on my studies but I'm not and before she called, I was looking forward to having today to dedicated to finally catching up. It doesn't look like that is going to happen.

I am not exactly sure why I am so stressed out but I am. I tried to meditate for 40 minutes but it just put me to sleep.

This inability to manage stress effectively occurs with most of my relationships, especially my romantic ones and I am sure that it comes through towards guys. I'm working on learning better strategies for dealing with these issues. It's a long, slow battle.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

This passage blows my f***ing mind!

Savoy's latest blog is a passage from Badboy Lifestyles (BBLS) latest e-book. My gut reaction wasn't pretty. I felt my first cringe of criticism when Savoy gave his little disclaimer in his introduction of the excerpt; "I don't agree with every single word".

The title of the section gave me hope; "Think for yourself". It's something we should all strive for. It's definitely a perpetual goal of mine and when I read those words in bold print, I know I'd be using that advice as I read the rest of the passage.

First Paragraph; I couldn't agree more. Bravo! It's about time someone said that out loud. Now if we could only get that to be a universally accept statement, we'd all be happier, right? It's about time fairy tales (and movies) and society wise up and start dispensing some reality into this theatrical non-fiction we call life. Life doesn't end "happily ever after". So drop the guise.

Second Paragraph; spot on once again. So far so good. I can dig this.

Most Common Bullshit Ideas:

1) Paragraph one; Now this is where I think the excerpts sorta misses the mark. It gets most of it right but there seems to be something missing. Here's what's right in this paragraph: I do HATE nice guys. But I also hate the word "nice" because it implies just what BBLS describes beautifully; boring. "Nice" is something someone says when they don't know what else to say. If someone describes a guy to me as "nice", I'm not interested. PERIOD. It means they couldn't think of anything better to say about him, which either means they don't know him that well or worse, he could really truly be "nice" (which means there's not to say about him). It means he's not known to be an Axe murderer but there's nothing else that distinguishing about him either.

Still paragraph one of this section; But then I come to this quote: "This is not to say you have to be an asshole to get girls but did you ever ask yourself, why are many beautiful women are attracted to the jerk or the badboy?" And I start to think for myself (which the section heading instructed to do) and I think to myself (by myself). "I'm a beautiful women" but I am not attracted to 'jerks' and 'badboys'. And then I think for myself a little bit more and I wonder. "I'm I that different from most beautiful women? I don't think so. Most of my girlfriends are beautiful women and none of them are attracted to 'jerks' or 'badboys'. In fact, I don't know of personally any beautiful woman that is actually attracted to those kinds of guys. I mean, I've heard of these women but I've never really known one of them personally. Maybe they're urban legends. No, they can't be urban legends, can they? "

And then I wonder; "Are there really ONLY three types of men in this world "nice guys" (yuck), jerks (ugh), and badboys (double ugh)? There's got to be some sort of highbred nice-jerk-bad guy-boy or something in the middle, right? I could probably think through most of the guys I've ever dated and honestly say that not very many of them could be considered a jerk or a badboy. Some may have been called "nice" but it usually wasn't because they were nice in the sense of the word that we already covered. Most of them would be considered somewhere in the middle. Something I like to consider a good guy or a hero

A good guy has integrity. He tries to do what's right at all times even when it's difficult (he doesn't always succeed but he never fails to try). He's assertive ("I count; you count"). He's independent, compassionate, witty, wise, and "some kind of wonderful". A hero has all the adventure of the badboy but without the attitude. And most of all he's balanced. His knows the distinction between too much and too little excitement, predictability, fun, seriousness; and he pulls it all off with class and style. While stirring up those oh-so-important emotions.

Paragraph two in the section: "It's sad, but true, that sometimes the more you disrespect them, the more they like you." This sentence should be removed from existence FOREVER! Ugh, NO! Wrong! Try again. Sorry. Think that over some more, please. A good guy/hero does NOT need to disrespect anyone to get what he wants, especially a woman he's romantically/sexually involved with. To disrespect a woman to get sex, is to disrespect yourself. I don't know what direction was intended by this statement but I can't agree with it regardless of what arguments anyone may have. And I'm not saying that disrespect doesn't happen, it does but to purposely use it to manipulate a situation is what gives PUA a bad name in the first place and it's CHEAP! If you're smart enough to get into our pants, you can at least be respectful about it.

"So don't be afraid to be more selfish" Change the work "self" to assertive ("I count";You count") then maybe I'd agree but this world doesn't need anymore selfishness that it already has.

I don't see anything wrong with seeking happiness and surrounding yourself with people who make you happy. But is this selfish mindset the only successful mindset of advanced seducers. Aren't there other "frames" that can get strong results?

Paragraph three: I can agree to most of that but I prefer to go without the hate and the pain. I'm not into those sorts of emotions.

[I'll have to finish this post another time. It's late and I'm tired now. And I have class in the morning. 11:47p.m. and in true fashion this post will remain unedited until I can get around to reading it over and making corrections. Enjoy]

things I Cannot Live Without: Euphemisms [or morning toast]

"Morning Toast" is a euphemism for the first bowel movement of the day. This blog post is going to be a figurative euphemism (morning toast) for crap is spew out in this blog. It's early and this is my first metaphorical bowel movement of the day.

Euphemisms are great. I love them. In fact, I pride myself on using them and coming up with new ones. Although I have to admit, there is one type of euphemism I hate and that's military euphemisms.

War is ugly and I personally do not think it needs to be sugar coated at all. If more people with discussing the tragic reality of war, maybe more people would be against unjust and falsified war (especially the non-constitutional war we're in right now). I don't want to turn my blog into a political shit fest, so I leave this topic alone for now.

My favorite kinds of euphemisms are sexual in nature. Sexual acts, anatomy, and other related topics are great sources of colorful alternative language. I particularly like calling a man's anatomy, "package".

Example:
Guys are funny when it comes to their packages.

It's true. They have names and different euphemisms for address their packages. It's cute. Each guy has his own style regarding this topic. And it's always fun in new relationships to see how a guy handles his package.

Well, enough naughty talk for now. I got to get back to studying. Today's Morning Toast was brought to you by the radio.

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Did you just see the cat fight outside my window?

No, this isn't a cheesy PUA line. There was literally a cat (or some other nonhuman creature) fight happening right outside my bedroom window. At first it sounded like a baby in a blender, then two distinct creatures could be heard, there may have been several creatures involved (including the household cat).

And they went at it. They were so loud that my roommates could hear them through my bedroom wall, with my bedroom door closed, through a hallway door closed, and the television on. It was the snarliest sound I've ever heard live (unrecorded). After a moment or two of this ruckus I rush to the window (so, I don't look completely lazy when my roommates ask me what happened).

At that point, I realized that our cat may be outside. So I yank the blinds up, throw the window open, and try to see through the screen, but I couldn't see anything outside. So by this time, I think I scared the creatures off and I hear my roommates getting aroused by the ruckus.

I go out in the backyard to find my landlord calling the cat in. He won't come in. He's playing hard to get. I rush back inside and grab a plate and a fork and begin tapping the fork onto the plate as I call for the kitty. "Matese...Matese...Metese, if you come inside right now you'll get extra treats."

That didn't work. I gave up and decided to take a break from studying to begin this blog and then I was interrupted by a text message.

And I had a very interesting conversation with a congruent, confident, wise man. Some how we ending up talking about my therapy. The thing I'm working on right now with my therapist is the ability to deal with my emotions and go to place (internally) that I don't really want to go. So in PUA talk, my therapist is helping me work on my "inner game". It's some heavy shit.

But it's very helpful. She really does push me to think about things that I've never stopped to consider. And she doesn't let me bullshit my way out of anything. She asks tough questions and we had several breakthroughs in the last few weeks. It's been great. I look forward to this journey I'm on.

Not only do I work on self-improvement stuff with her, I've made it a priority in my life right now. Practically everything I do can be related to improving myself, my life, my education, or my happiness.

Something that really makes me happy, is to help people. I love it. I go out of my way to help people. Not all the time, and not always to everyone. But I consider myself a kind and caring person and I've worked hard to surround myself with amazing people, so when I have an opportunity to help, I try. Especially regarding, personal issues.

A lot of my friends have told me that I'm very non-judgmental. Especially my female friends. They usually come to me with their craziest escapades or saddest relationship problems. And I listen and I give advice as I see fit. And I do my best to make them feel better.

I always find it odd when they ask me about relationship things. I realized that I've dated a lot of men and have had very liberal sexual experiences but I don't consider myself a dating expert and a relationship coach.

Although I think it would be really fun to learn how to be a dating coach or a relationship expert, I'm not qualified to counsel anyone about anything. I love learning and being taught. Especially in personal relationships. Some of my best friends are my best teachers. I've learned so much from people around me.

It's no wonder I like to fantasize about the teacher-student roles. Ha. I probably should write much more about this so I'll change the radio station.

I realized that I hold a lot of emotions in, and I'm starting to see how dangerous it has been to me both physically and emotionally. My emotions feel foreign to me. I don't even know what to call them or how to label them. They're all a mess and it feels overwhelming.

Holding these emotions in, not knowing how to deal with stress, and being unable to relax have taken a toll on my body. I have physical problems with my body because of cognitive and emotional issues. The best advice I can give anyone right now is, don't hold your emotions in.

If you're under a lot of stress and dealing with emotional responsibilities the best thing to do is to deal with them or talk about them. If you don't, you could end up hurting yourself. And you can't take care of all your responsibilities if you're hurt, burnt out, or worse.

It's amazing how much of the PUA stuff can be applied to other aspects of ones life. Although, that's one reason why I like the PUA stuff, because it's multidisciplinary. I actually applied to UC Berkeley to get an interdisciplinary degree in English, Rhetoric, and History and I was going to call my customized emphasis "Critical Thinking".

Ha...I actually put something like that on my application. It's no wonder that was the only school I applied to that didn't admit me. Oh well, such is it. I really wanted to go to Berkeley because their interdisciplinary degree department was very well organized and student friendly.

My school, that I'm currently attending, has a similar but much less facilitated and more limiting program to create ones own degree path.

I abandoned the idea of customizing my degree and decided that all liberal arts degrees are about critical thinking. And an English degree is probably the best degree for me to get. Until I took a Communication Studies class and really want to change my major (again) but then I was strongly advice not to pursue such a path because I didn't have enough time to complete all the requirements.

And beside, I'm taking a bunch of classes that I want, so it really doesn't matter. Speaking of which, I love my classes this quarter. My English teacher this quarter already seem much more capable of teaching student than my last teacher was. The professor last quarter was very bright, and young, and fashionable but his lectures always felt just out of reach for me.

And this quarter's professor seem to be more interested in making his lectures more accessible to the students. He seems to care about at least presenting the information in a comprehendable way. I sat through every lecture but one (because I locked my keys in my car) last quarter and couldn't really tell you exactly what the professor's main point were and I sure in hell could tell you what I was supposed to learn.

Now, it's much more easier. I know exactly what the teacher is talking about. And even though his much older, not fashionable at all, and has a sharp wit about him, he can teach me. and that's all that matter. And besides my T.A. is young, slightly fashionable, and eager to teach.

I'm a good girl just waiting to learn.

[I'm going to end on that point; some what edited]

Things I Cannot Live Without: Pampering

Yesterday, after studying for about 3 hours, I treated myself to a Retail Therapy (RT) session. I realize that a lot of guys may not understand the concept of RT. Most women, I would guess, understand this concept very well. It's the therapeutic use of shopping to enhance ones mood. I'm sure guys do this too but instead of buying purses, shoes, clothes, makeup, etc. They probably buy manly things like toys, audio/visual, sports stuff, etc.

[side note on literary issues: I don't know if the possessive pronoun of "one" is spelled o-n-e-s or o-n-e-'-s. It seems like "one's" could be easily confused for "one is" and I know possessive pronouns do not use apostrophes, such as "its" or "ours". But the pronoun 'one' confuses me. Side note ending.]

Before going shopping, I promised myself I wouldn't worry about anything while out on my shopping spree. I managed for the most part to refocus my attention whenever my mind would wonder to worrying about life's little worries. I tried to stay in the moment and really experience what was happening as it was happening. I think I did pretty well.

I managed to spend very little money (less than $100 on clothes) and came home with about 7 different items. Most of the items I will love wearing on a regular basis. In fact, I'm going to wear three of the garments today....yay!

And the RT really did positively impact my mood. So much so that, instead of going out last night with the guys or going to a party with Sexy Sharon [posts about Sexy Sharon can be found here, and here], I stayed home and pampered myself further. I took a long, warm shower and fantasized about my ideal shower.

[Side note: A wise man once told me that the only reason he makes a lot of money is so he could take care of his loved ones. I realize now that it was a DHV and demonstration of the alpha male quality, "takes care of loved ones". Side note ending]

Before getting out of the shower, I left some special product in my hair to help condition it. And once out of the shower, I put eye cream and face cream on. I got into my most comfortable clothes and did some relaxation exercises. It felt great. And I feel great. My face is smooth, my hair is soft, and I am glowing with happiness.

Now, I have to get back to studying before I waste the whole day blogging.

More comments from readers

I've received several comments from my blog readers. Since they are scattered in comment section of topics unrelated to their comment, I'm going to address them here in their own post.

"Ana,

Just curious how you ended up doing on your project. You get a good grade? What did the professor think of it?"


Matt,

I don't know what grade I got on my project (yet) but I know I got a B- in the class. Which leads me to believe I got a good grade on the final and the paper because I did very poorly on my mid-term.

I'm going to email that professor and see if I can meet with him this week to discuss my project and to get it back from him and also to discuss any publishing possibilities with him. When I was I spring break I found a "free" book by Noam Chomsky (an author we studied in class) called "Profit over People". I may mention that to him because he seem interested in those sorts of things.

More importantly to me, I'm wondering what you think about my project. I've received very little feedback regarding it. So far, only two of my female friends have mention that they are very interested learning more and that they enjoyed my project. But other than that, I have NOT received very much feedback at all. So what do you think?

HeroiC said...

"Hey this is just a shot in the dark but were you at one of the LA bootcamps in February? I was one of the students and there was this girl that Savoy invited there to help out. She was real cool and winged me in a bunch of sets. I can't remember her name though. But you seem to fit the bill. Me and her were both from the same Bay Area town and your from the Bay too from what I've read.

Anyway, I like your blog. I'm trying to write my own but I am REALLY bad at keeping it updated. I have a ton of blogs that I need to finish. Oh and while I'm leaving a comment on this blog I just want to say that I totally agree with you on the hair. I don't know how too many guys I know let that shit go out of control. I'm debating on whether to do the eyebrow waxing thing though...Well that's all I got to say. Let me know if that was you at Privelege. Later!

H"

Hey Heroic,
I'm not trying to ignore you. I'm just very sensitive about keeping my identity concealed for the time being. This blog is very public and anyone can read it, so I avoid giving away information that can used to track me down, specifically. With that being said, I can't answer your specific question regarding my identity. I hope you understand.

However, I would encourage you to write a blog about your bootcamp experience. I would love to read it.

I'm also very interested in learning how to become a wing girl. There's so much to learn, it gets to be overwhelming at times. But I have learned "Have you seen Michelle?" Ha...and I think that's hilarious. I tried to explain this to my friends, we all had a laugh about it.

ITotem said...

"Inner Game is the set of beliefs you hold about yourself and the world around you. Without a strong set of core beliefs, you are easily influenced by the world around you. You can call inner gamer your "self-talk" if you will.

As far as calibration goes, I like that concept but to be honest with you, I prefer to think of being more socially self-aware, or even being more socially intelligent. Calibration implies that you are adjusting/reacting to someone else's reaction to you. This is what leads to reaction-seeking behavior when taken to the extreme because the PUA tries to meet the woman's approval.

Confident men don't calibrate per say. They just talk in ways that makes you feel comfortable with their values. They introduce things in a "situationally relevant" way. You both don't have to agree with each other's values but the fact that he can present his persona confidently to the woman in a non-offensive way makes him more attractive."

Hey ITotem,

Thanks for posting such a detailed comment on my blog. I appreciate your efforts. Since I've moved to L.A. I've been working on my own "inner game". I've been learning about core belief systems, self-talk, managing stress, relaxation, and other helpful things. The aspect of the community that interest me most would probably be intergame, then lifestyle, then fashion, and so on.

You're insight on calibration is interesting. My interest in this area topic is based mainly on what I've experienced and I've seen very little written about it (so far). I think my calibration post was also inspired by Sinn's Microcalibration post.

My personal experience with calibration was when I was with a guy and I asked him why he kept restricting my arm from moving while we were snuggling on the couch watching T.V. His first comment was "Because you need to be restrained." I found this very unique and intriguing and the look on my face must have tipped him off to the fact that I was not expecting such an answer (although I was fascinated by it). So he quickly said "I just want you to know I'm paying attention to you." That comment fascinated me just as much as the other and it really helped me understand calibration.

To me calibration is less about changing who you are as a person but it more about being "in the moment" enough to recognize small clues (facial expressions, eye movements, etc) and using those to help build more comfort. If something is said or done that makes a girl uncomfortable and the PUA doesn't mind making an adjustment to make the girl feel more comfortable, than I see nothing wrong with it.

I see it as an assertive thing ("I count, you count") not a approval-seeking thing. Although I can see how it could be used in a way that is not productive for the PUA (in the way you described it).

I've seen confident PUAs calibrate. I understand your comment and agree with parts of it. It was not specifically what I was referring to in my post but it's still a good comment nonetheless.

Thanks again for leaving a comment. I look forward to hearing more from you regarding different PUA related stuff.

Now, I really need to study. I know it's Easter but I don't want to fall behind in my studies. I hope you all have a great Easter and if you don't believe in Christ or celebrate Easter, I hope you have a great Sunday. Take care.

A comment from a reader and my response

"Do you have intentions to use what you learned studying male pickup to attract or get men into your life? And if so would you be interested in getting together with other females who want the same?

2. I recently joined a community with a mission statement to change the world, if you're interested in getting a start on saving the world PM me (Schizo on StyleLife forum) with your email address and I'll send you an invite :D" ~Schizo

Hey Schizo,

It's great to hear from you again. I really enjoyed your input on my CommStu project.

As far as my personal relationship goals are concerned, I'm finding it very difficult to date right now for several different reasons. Two main reasons are school and my heart.

My school takes up a lot of time and when I get into relationships I want to be the best "lover"/girlfriend I can be and that's time consuming in itself.

And as far as my heart is concerned, it doesn't seem to understand how this all works and it has a mind of its own. I will definitely use the skills that I'm continuing to learn to gain friendships and other relationships.

Having just moved to a new large city, I find myself struggling to create and maintain friendships. I feel like the skills I'm learning are going to help me be more social and outgoing and cultivate meaningful relationships.

But for right now, it difficult to think about anyone (romantically/sexually) but the last guy I was dating. Even though I know logically it's not going to work out with him, my heart keeps hoping for something it's never going to get (from him), love. I could literally be with probably half-a-dozen other men right now but all my heart wants is him (trust me I've tried to convince it otherwise...it's just going to take time).

But enough about that right now. One major reason that I became interested in this community was because I was a part of a (very) small group of women that were trying to figure out why we were all beautiful, talented, intelligent, some-what successful, and all struggling with relationships. There were probably 6 of us to start with and two dropped out, one got married, one has a boyfriend, and there are still 2 of us struggling, me and Sexy Sharon (I posted about her here).

Sexy Sharon (who is truly sexy) started this "private" group online on Fourth of July two years ago. We were supposed to be reclaiming our independence. She read a bunch of books (The Rules, Mr. Right, Right Now, etc). We were doing our own social experiments with the guys we were dating.

It worked well for the two women currently in relationships (that marriage came about in part because of our group's efforts). But Sexy Sharon and I still are struggling to find what we're looking for. And if I could help be a part of Sexy Sharon finding a meaningful relationship and love, I would be very happy. She deserves it. We all do.

I would love to work on the female version of The Mystery Method. That's one reason I'm so interested in this group is because I want to help other females. My younger brother told me that Style is looking to create a female version of the Game and he's currently looking for females to help him with this project. As interesting as that sounds, and with nothing personal against Style, I would much rather be involved with TMM than with any other organization at this point.

I have my own apprehensions about meeting gurus and other master PUAs in the community. I really enjoy seeing my newbie friends in the field or just talking about this stuff with people who know about it but GURUs (that I've never met) are a whole other game (pun intended). Besides, I do NOT want to be nose raped. And if Style ever put his fingers in my nose, I'd be pissed off to the point of the possibility of prison (I would show Style that rape of any kind is not a matter to play around with or joke about....PERIOD).

I'm very interested in changing the world for the better. I'm not sure how much time I have to be involved in a group right now, though. As I mentioned before, I'm very focused on my education currently and that is (besides myself) one of my biggest priorities at the moment. My free time should be a little more free in about 10 weeks, when summer break begins. I'm hoping not to have to go to school during the summer and my major goal for the summer is to write and write often (because I want to be a writer when I finally grow up).

Saturday, April 7, 2007

It's Always Better When We're Together by Jack Johnson

Song lyrics
[Verse 1:]
There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard,
No song that I could sing
But I can try for your heart,
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things,
Like a shoebox of photographs,
With sepiatone loving,
Love is the answer
At least for most of the questions in my heart ,
Like why are we here? And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy,
And sometimes life can be deceiving,
I'll tell you one thing, its always better when we're together

[Chorus:]
MMM, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, we'll look at the stars when we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

[Verse 2:]
And all of these moments
Just might find their way into my dreams tonight
But I know that they'll be gone,
When the morning light sings
And brings new things,
But tomorrow night you see
That they'll be gone too,
Too many things I have to do,
But if all of these dreams might find their way
Into my day to day scene
I'll be under the impression,
I was somewhere in-between
With only two,
Just me and you
Not so many things we got to do,
Or places we got to be
We'll sit beneath the mango tree now

Yeah, it's always better when we're together
MMM, We're somewhere in-between together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

Mmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmm
I believe in memories
They look so, so pretty when I sleep
Hey now, and when, and when I wake up,
You look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time,
And there is no, no song I could sing
And there is no combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing,
We're better together

Thursday, April 5, 2007

google does have a sense of humor

type "failure" into google and see how clever it can be.

Wow...I just got the best compliment ever!

And no, it was not given to me by a PUA. It was given to me by one of my new professors this quarter. I took a class with her husband last quarter and now I'm taking a class with her and her husband this quarter. I guess I left an impression on her husband. This is what she said in response to an email I sent her:

"I like your enthusiasm. We will use you as [a class participant]. That's great that you will write extra [writings for class]. I'm sure we will be able to use them. The class depends on the [student writings]. Dee [her husband] raves about you so I look forward to seeing more of your work.
Best,"

Awwwww....I feel so happy right now. Yay! Now, I actually have to perform the tasks for the class. I'm so excited about this class. I hope it continues to be as good as it has been this first week.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Ramblings on the Radio

Radio Explained:

This story or segment is a lousy attempt to explain an inside joke between me and He Who is Him or Him Who is He (HWH). That's the new nickname of the guy I dated haphazardly since I moved to L.A. about 6 months ago. Unfortunately, our relationship is no longer what is was. But that's beside the point, which is that HWH ended up nicknaming me "radio". And for whatever reason, I grew fond of it.

He first called me this when I was very under-the-influence of my favorite medicine (see guilty pleasures, if you don't know what sort of medicine I'm talking about). While under-the-influence I (like most people) become very talkative. But I think I'm a little unique in my talkativeness, because I could virtually talk and talk and talk and it's very much like stream of consciousness.

HWH said on more than one occasion that he could practically "see" my train of thought. I'm assuming he is a visual person because he's a man, and he told me most men are visual. And he also made a comment right after meeting me about how I "must" be visual because I say "see" and I look up and two the right when I talk (but I sorta assumed that was some sort of chick-crack thing he was using on me). Anyways, this too is beside the point.

The point is, I can verbally express what is occurring in my mind (as thoughts, words, and sometimes images) as it is happening. And all I need is an audience. And thankfully for the audience, he doesn't really have to listen to what I'm saying but he can if it is more entertaining than what's being projected on the television or if he can practice guitar while I'm rambling on.

This phenomena is similar to how a radio functions because: a radio is primarily audio but still tries to create images with words (and sounds); radios doesn't require the audience to actually listen or participate with the audio; Radios hardly play the same thing for very long; and radios can be set on scan, so that the actual station changes in intervals automatically.

When I'm stoned, I'm very similar to that in the fact that: I primarily talk but I use my words and my gestures to create images; I don't require him to listen; He doesn't have to listen or participate, either, but it's always funner when he does; I change topics as quickly as they enter and exit my mind; and some times I change "stations" when my train of thought takes a new track (or thread as the puas like to call it).

I realize that this sort of weed-induced talkativeness is not uniquely my own characteristic. I'm under no delusions that this sort of behavior is common amongst those that partake of the green goodness. I have actually witnessed these symptoms first hand in second-hand situations. In fact, I have used the term "radio" to refer to HWH's mom and one of his best friends. I doubt his mom was actually under the influence of anything when she was talkative but I know for a fact his friend was, when his was accused of being a radio.

Anyhoo, now all those that read my blog know roughly the origins of the "radio" references I've made in my blog thus far. I guess the reason I'm mentioning it s much here is because I can't really keep making the inside joke with HWH because we don't really communicate much any more, which is my fault in some ways.

But I'm so busy right now, I've hardly thought about it much. I guess it's best to focus on school and not worry about something that can't be changed.

I LOVE MY SCHOOL

So speaking of school, I love it. Everyday I go to campus, I'm so thankful for being able to attend that university and I been take advantage of as many resources as I'm able to take advantage of because I'm a student.

I don't want to give out too much information about my personal life and I definitely do NOT want to jeopardized my safety but putting identifiable information on this blog. So, I'm not going to be posting too much info about my school but I have to at least mention it because it's such a HUGE part of my life right now.

And I love my school.

I love the campus. It's beautiful. I love seeing younger students visiting our campus. Twice I've seen students that had to be in pre-school or maybe kindergarten. I only say that they must have been that young because the average height of the students was probably shorter than my waist is high. And for those that know me, my waist isn't that high. And those students (which I saw today visiting our campus) look very young. They were carrying their lunch boxes and some of the lunch boxes seems to be roughly the size of some of their upper torsos.

I have no idea why students that young would be visiting our campus. I don't remember visiting a university campus (EVER) before I was enrolled in junior college.

Regardless the reason, I think it's cool to see those little people walking around enjoying our campus. I assume it has a positive impact on some of them, although, when they are that young I'm not sure.

But I do love seeing middle school and high school kids on our campus also. Especially, if those students appear to be "inner-city students".

THE RACE CARD

I know this may sound weird, but I find race relations and class distinctions/seperations in L.A. (and especially on my campus) to be very different from what I'm used to. It's sorta puzzled me since I've moved here (roughly 6 months ago).

I haven't exactly been able to specifically pin point what about it makes me feel this way but there is definitely something unfamiliar to me about the way non-visual racial and class lines are adhered to in L.A.

I'm not exactly sure if others feel this way and I assume that people from different areas of the country and the world probably think that L.A. is very diverse, which I would agree it is. However, just because there are a lot of different types of people represented in the populace of this city, doesn't mean that these types intermingle outside of formal settings.

It's weird to me. I can figuratively see segments of people who are most alike clustered together around campus and around this city. Examples: At school many of the workers (including student workers, maintenance workers, etc) are minorities (most of the time); Same is true for bank tellers, cashiers, valet parkers, car service/limo drivers, bus drivers, etc around town.

There are distinct hidden-class line. I've gone into parts of L.A. where the only minorities were paid employees (and I doubt they are being paid well enough). And I've been to areas of L.A. where I was the only white face amongst many shoppers.

Being the only white person in a group of minorities isn't particularly odd to me. I can think of many occasions where this has been the case in my past. However, the expressions and reactions to me by those minorities in L.A. was very unique to me.

STARING

People have been known to stare at me, which I find particularly odd, so I ignore a great deal of people's glances and stares because I don't want to be overly concerned with people staring at me.

I've had several friends comment the fact that people stare at me and I've noticed it myself. I am not exactly sure what the reasons are for people staring but sometimes it's because I'm the only Caucasian in a particular location or sometimes it's because I dress outlandishly. My reaction to people staring at me in the past has been to just ignore it and avoid eye contact.

Which is probably more counterproductive, so lately I've been trying to make eye contact and smile. However, some guys see smiling as a invitation and most of the time, I'm not really inviting anyone to anything, most of the time I'm just trying to be polite.

But I've notice this subject has quickly derailed, who knows where it will go now.

I've realized that if people are staring and you make eye contact with them, they general stop staring.

Staring seems to be a particular problem in L.A. too. And I figured it's because there are celebrities here and everyone's dying to see some star somewhere. I've noticed when people stare in L.A. they are generally trying to get a look at ones face. And I figure that's because they want to know if the person they are staring at is a star or not.

I've caught myself doing this myself. I look at someone in the face of a passing care because I think they may look familiar or may be someone I recognize. But I really don't know that many celebrities by face so, I don't spend much time doing this. And when they see me looking, I usually look away after I realize that I've been staring at someone who doesn't really appear to be a star anyways.

ROBIN WILLIAMS

It's funny my mind just started to wonder to a memory about a time that I worked in the Bay Area at a computer store and I thought my customer reminded me a lot of Robin Williams. I mentioned it to him and his son (or the younger boy that was with him) started to say something and the man stopped him from saying whatever he was about to say to me.

I don't really think that guy was Robin Williams, mostly, because I'm sure I would totally recognize Robin Williams if he was in front of me, since I'm a huge fan. But I've often wondered if it was his brother or something.

And I also think it's funny because I did actually see Robin Williams walking down the street in San Francisco years later but I almost didn't see him but my friend pointed him out as he rushed by us. That was definitely Robin Williams.

MY ARMS HURT

I was hoping to write more but my arms are starting to hurt...so I'm going to give them a rest for now.

And in the tradition of this radio program, I'm going to leave this blog unedited or proofread until further notice. I can't really make correction right now. [some what edited now]

Good night. And if you're not sleeping next to the one you love, may they find a way into your arms soon. Sweet dreams.

tears are like throw-up

What I learned in class today and how it applies to the seduction community:

"Tears are like throw-up. When you see someone doing it [crying or throwing up or any number of emotions], you want to do it yourself."

Women are socially empathetic and emotive (side note: the word emo comes from the word emotive or the ability to express emotions).

If a pick-up artist can empathetically make a girl feel strong (hopefully positive) emotions by being emotive he can build comfort with that girl.

I think this is sorta what break-through comfort is based largely off of but I'm not that familiar with break-through comfort (yet), so I could be wrong.

I'll have to write more when I have more time. And I'll have to finish reading Magic Bullets to understand break-through comfort more.

I almost forgot about wit (preview)

Wit is the ability to find similiarities between seemingly different things.

I love wit and I love parallels too!

Judgement is the ability to find differences between seemingly similar things.

I'll write more when I have some free time.

Grades and what I want to be when I grow up (preview)

I don't have a lot of time right now because I really should be studying.

GRADES

I got an A+, and B-, and B- last quarter that's a 3.1 according to the school website. My overall GPA is 3.127 (or something insane like that). I would love to be a 4.0 student but I'm struggling just to keep my grades as they are. Better luck next time, right?

RHETORICIAN

I want to be a rhetorician when I grow up. Thank you. Stay tuned for more randomness.

Friday, March 30, 2007

More randomness

This blog post is going to be about a bunch of different stuff. I have so much I want to document but I don't have much time. I have a brief moment before running off to a weekend of camping. I'm so excited; I haven't been camping in many years. I have very fond memories of camping from growing up. In fact, I was camping when my younger brother was born.

Speaking of which, my younger brother (whom I saw this week on my return home for spring break) is the inspiration of my first random rambling.

THINGS I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT: IRONY

In the last few years I've grown to appreciate irony more than I ever have before. So I found it very ironic that when I saw my younger brother this week he had a beard. Especially considering my recent post on the subject of hairy men. I'll write more about irony later.

THINGS I MISS ABOUT HOME: FAMILY/FRIENDS

I really missing being in the bay area. Everything is so familiar to me. I know how to get around and short cuts. I've spent the majority of my life there and when I went back I realized how much I miss it. I really miss my family. My Mom, my younger brother, my younger sister and her family.

It was my youngest nephew's birthday and we celebrated with a BBQ. It was awesome to see my nephews. I love those boys so much. I consider myself blessed because I was able to see both of them born and now I've been to both of their first birthday parties.

My brother and I were also able to take the oldest nephew to see TMNT. This was pretty cool because my younger brother used to be a big TMNT fan when he was younger. And I used to take my nephew out every week to do fun stuff with him before I got so busy with school.

My friends are awesome too. I wasn't able to see everyone but I did see my closest friends. We enjoyed a crab feed, dim sum, a bed and breakfast, and Chinese food while watching videos. I'll write more later.

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT LA: LESS DRIVING

Speaking of irony, it's ironic that I drive less now that I live in LA. In the bay area I lived about 50 miles from SF (or at least from the Mission District) and spent a great deal of time commuting. Now, that I'm in LA, I drive considerable less. It's pretty ironic to me.

THINGS I LIKE THAT PUAS DO: ROLE PLAYING, QUALIFYING V.2, IDENTITY, and FRAMES.

I'll have to write about this later. I'm running out of time right now.

THE CUBE:

I feel disappointed I never got the cube routine used on me by my favorite pua...ugh. Oh well such is it.

I'll write more later and reply to the comments when I have more time. Take care and stay tuned to the only radio that doesn't actually make audible noise.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Happy Equinox day

So today is March 21 and that means the day is just as long as the night or the night is just as short as the day or something like that. It only happens twice a year and it's happening today. From here until September 21, the days will be longer than the nights. I am sure my explanation is extremely oversimplified but it doesn't matter.

Back to studying for my communication studies final and writing my last 30 page paper that is due tomorrow.

Things I can live without: hairy men

I know it's a huge trend right now but I do NOT like it. This blog was prompted by one of Sinn's resent blog posts and the comments left by other men. I'd leave a comment on his blog but that's his playground and this is mine.

Sinn is very fashionable. He gets it. He understands the importance of staying well groomed even if it's time consuming or painful. Women do it all the time and they can appreciate when a guy does it some of the time. And besides I hate all that hair anyways.

I hate these shaggy beards that are so popular. I don't know one guy who looks better with a beard, not one (unless he's ugly then maybe he looks better covered by hair). Some chicks dig it, well I guess that's cool but this is my blog and I say SHAVE IT ALREADY.

excess hair is gross, it traps bacteria, and stinks. Remove it from you brow, your jaw line, your back, your chest, your "package" area, from everywhere besides your head. And if you have long hair, cut that shit too. Long hair looks awful on most men. If you look like you're in an 80's heavy metal band you look outdated and socially clueless.

Some facial hair is ok. It depends on the guy or on the design. But I still think less is more. I'd rather see a handsome face than see it buried under a bunch of hair. If a guys has a beard, I assume he's either lazy or he's insecure. Either way, not worth my time.

But I notice guys usually wait until you've been dating them for a while then they slowly start to shave less. That's not cool. How would you like it if I did that to you. Or better yet, how would you like it if I cut my hair ultra short after we've been dating for a little while. Not cool, right? Than do me a favor and remove it.

I spend a great deal of time removing excess hair, so I don't want to hear any guy complain that it takes too much time. Buck up and grab the razor.

I don't want to hear the evolutionary defense that if women didn't like it humans would have been extinct by now because men didn't have razors in the olden days. Women didn't have razors either back then, now we do. And I can't believe there is any man who would like a hairy chick over her non-hairy counterpart. Or wait, do you think this is one of those things you can have a double standard about? I don't think so. You want a girl to shave her legs, keep her pussy hair trimmed and removed excess hair from her upper lip, than you should be kind enough to do the equivalent.

I don't want to hear any of this "We didn't make the world; We only live in it" bullshit. You live in it and therefore you contribute to it. Perpetuating double standards is just as bad as creating them. So make an appointment with the threader or waxer today.

And as far as people calling Sinn a wussy, I'd have to say compare the results. Who's pulling home more chicks consistently? The well-groomed guy or his hairy counterpart? Being a wussy is being effected by manly peer pressure instead of doing what works to bringing home the ladies. Remember what's attractive is being the leader of men....not being the follower of them. And if you shave, you're preselected by me, so there's two attraction switches flipped for shaving and not listening to other men (who probably bring home less women).

Ok, enough about my hair rant....shave damnit.