I NEED YOUR FEEDBACK. If you took the time to stop by my blog & read this blog...PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK.
As some of you know, I am currently working on a Seduction Community Project for my Communication Studies class.
The project is focused on the parallel concepts in the "the community" with concepts in media (advertising, entertainment, propaganda).
I am having a very difficult time finding a "GOOD" workable definition for the community. There is a bad definition(in my opinion) on wikipedia. So I came up with my own version of the definition:
A loosely connected world-wide subculture of (mostly) men who strive for consistent success with seducing women through self-improvement and greater understanding of female and social psychology. These men are called pick-up artists (PUAs) and are skilled (or seek to be skilled) in the arts and non-exact sciences of seduction. These men are networked “together through internet forums and groups, as well as over a hundred local clubs, called ‘lairs’” and other similar local groups and gatherings.
What do you think? I am looking for CONSTRUCTIVE feedback on my definition.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
What I love about L.A.: Passionate People Performing
I love long 3-day weekends because I don't have class on Tuesday so they really turns into 4-day weekends. And there's so much to be done in 4 days.
I love seeing people create with passion and L.A. has it's share of beautifully passionate people performing all kinds of creative things. This weekend I witnessed some great performances from L.A.'s finest.
Live music has been a huge part of my life over the last few years that I lived in the San Francisco bay area. Few people know this but I started my own business with my Ex-boyfriend, Jealous Jason, before we broke up. Our business focused on helping local musicians with public and business relations. Which is really a fancy way to say, we handled publicity, merchandising, and other promotion-based stuff for local bands. It's actually how I met my best guy friend, Bass Bob, who is a bass player. I worked with his band and actually got them press coverage. And come to think of it, it is also the way I met my best girlfriend, Attractive Ashley, too. I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything in the world.
I've seen some of my favorite bands perform live too. Being apart of that local music scene made it easy to be apart of the large touring music scene. I've gotten backstage passes to the warped tour, hangout with and ate with my favorite touring musicians, and took a 12-hour road trip with my younger brother, Too-Tall Timmy, to Arizona to see our favorite band after bowling with them before their show. You've never lived until you've done something uniquely interesting like that.
Until this weekend, I've yet to experience anything that cool in L.A. I know it exist here but I just haven't had the opportunities I had in the Bay Area. This weekend I got to see interesting live musical performances. Well, technically it wasn't in L.A. It was just outside of L.A. at a music store that turned into a venue at night. This was a cool place. All the vinyl and musical instruments were cleared out of the way and a stage was erect. There was strangely interesting artwork and decor in the music store. Several paintings that looked like they were inspired by Salvador Dali and some Halloween inspired items, including a life size skeleton sitting on a bench wearing a tie. And if you know me, you know I love ties and Halloween stuff.
And it amazes me what people can do with electronics live. The first performer had his own electronic instrument that he played. I forget the name of it but this guy was good at it. The next band had a real guitar and bass, plus electronic drums and other sounds, and a very talented and beautiful singer. The last group was the reason my friends and I were there. I was with Sexy Sharon and Crazy Carla and we were invited to see Artsy Aaron and his friends jam. And it was truly a jam session. Artsy Aaron had his own electronic music and a sax, guitar, and bass player jamming to his music. Finally, the last performers to the music stage were some DJs. But before the last DJs went on there was a fire performance outside.
I love fire. I love the way it looks when it's being performed with. I had an Ex-boyfriend who performed with fire, Jostled Josh. This weekend Bad-ass Brenda performed and she was hot. I've never seen a fire hoola-hoop before and it was amazing. Sexy Sharon said that Bad-ass Brenda was a really cool chick because she enjoyed showing other fire performers how to do certain tricks, which I guess is rare amongst fire performers. As long as I've known Sexy Sharon, I've never actually seen her perform fire and she was too tired to perform it that night. But I saw Crazy Carla perform with a staff. I love it when she spins the staff to make the flame go really high into the air. Something about fire gets me hot.
Speaking of hot, Sexy Sharon also invited to me a Burlesque show at Aqua on the following night. That place is amazing. They have aquariums in the walls and beautiful decor. And the bathrooms aren't for men & women; they are for sharks and mermaids....ha. Sexy Sharon showed up with Jezebel Julie. Jezebel Julie is a firecracker. She's boldly beautiful with brilliant black hair (I love alliterations) and picturesque features. She boldly called out to a young man, Ex-Eddie, who was sitting alone. She lured him over towards us with the sole intent to entertained herself while we waited for a table. He was fun. We talked about tattoos before getting our table.
He asked a lot of question and answered all of ours. He was stopping by to see his Ex-girlfriend who turned out to be our waitress. We'll call her Waitress Wilma. She made a comment about all men being liars later in the evening and I asked if her Ex-Eddie was a liar too. She said "Oh hell yeah" She was a live wire and sassy as hell. And from the looks of it it doesn't seem like Ex-Eddie will be her Ex for much longer. I saw them kissing in between sets. Young love is so fascinating.
And we met up with Jaded James. He studied at my school in a professional program that I am interested in pursuing after I get my B.A. He gave me some advice. Sharon was bragging about my current writing project but I don't really like talking about it too much. So the conversation quickly turned to the food and the beautiful burlesque babes. The food at Aqua is really good but really expensive, so it's a good thing I ate before I left the house. And the Burlesque Babes were smokin' hot. They performed one of my favorite numbers from Chicago. Nothing like a Cell Block Tango to start of the night.
Jezebel Julie wanted to head home early so she could play with some of her new "toys". Later Sexy Sharon told me that Jezebel Julie kept commenting on my looks and said I was the type of woman she would have been attracted to when she was dating women. Too bad I just met her this weekend. We could have had some fun. I am not sure where Jaded James went to but Sharon and I wound up at nymph party in the valley.
There's nothing hotter than a house full of half-dressed mystical creatures running around a party. I love themed parties. I used to go to these "Kinky" parties in San Francisco monthly. Every month the theme would change. I always find it fun to dress up and mingle with like-minded people. The house in valley was designed with social events in mind. And all the ladies were incredibly beautiful.
I thought it was strange when one girl asked me if I was a model and when I said no, she asked, "Then what are you?" I laughed and told her, "I am a student". She pointed to her friend that looked like Alanis Morrisette and said she was a model. That whole interaction made more sense after I realized that the party was also a "models and artists" get together. One things for sure, the "Kinky" parties in S.F. never had this many beautiful people.
A funny thing happened when I went looking for weed. I ran into Director Derrick. I have been avoiding him lately because I don't want to get physical with him. I've used school as an excuse not to see him, which is a legitimate excuse, by the way. He tried to bust my balls by saying, "I thought you'd be studying." My reply was, "I studied for 6 hours today and thought I could really use a break." He was cool about it. In fact, I'd say he's a really cool person. He smoked me out. And introduced me to a bunch of his friends. I had met some of them previously, so it was cool to have familiar faces to bump into. His friends are all very intriguing.
There was Pregnant Polly and her lover, Alluring Allister, and her gay brother. Pregnant Polly is expecting Alluring Allister's twins, she's 40 and her gay brother is going to help raise the kids. As far as I can tell, Alluring Allister is going to stay around to be the father, while the gay brother plays nanny. It sounds like the kids will be well loved and taken care of and it seems like everyone involved is level headed enough to pull it off.
Alluring Allister told me a story about the inventor man he works for and his crazy Hollywood Hills home. I guess there are 2o-something themed rooms that were designed by a Broadway set designer. The place sounds amazing. I'd love to see it in person. Director Derrick said he had plenty of good times there.
I finally got to see Sexy Sharon perform fire, topless. She didn't have the proper clothes on so she did it without a shirt. It's ok because she wasn't the only exposed-exceptionally beautiful woman there. She's good. She's been doing it for years. She does poi and staff. And I think she's starting to branch out into other tools too (such as sword, fans, ect). There were other performers too. And all the fire performances were wonderful.
It felt like we were camping out. There was some very fascinating conversation whirling around the fire pit. The sexual control of women in the Elizabethan era; modern socialization of sexual pressure; a South-African instrument that someone had; the rarity of beautiful black women in that scene; mystical woodland creature talk; and Director Derrick gave me a great pep talk about not allowing school stress to get me down. Great conversation and company always make a campfire cozy.
And as if all that wasn't enough. There was a performance piece where all the beautiful, barely dressed, nymphs did ritual things together. At that point in the night, I really wished I was sharing it with the guy I like. The party went into the wee earlier morning and needless to say I was useless the next day.
This weekend I got to see a lot of passionate people performing they passions. Whether it was soulful musicians mid-set, sensual lovers mid-coital, fabulous fire-dancers mid-spin, pretty people mid-exchange, or beautiful burlesque babes mid-number. It's always amazing to see people in the middle of what they are passionate about. And L.A. is full of passionate people.
I love seeing people create with passion and L.A. has it's share of beautifully passionate people performing all kinds of creative things. This weekend I witnessed some great performances from L.A.'s finest.
Live music has been a huge part of my life over the last few years that I lived in the San Francisco bay area. Few people know this but I started my own business with my Ex-boyfriend, Jealous Jason, before we broke up. Our business focused on helping local musicians with public and business relations. Which is really a fancy way to say, we handled publicity, merchandising, and other promotion-based stuff for local bands. It's actually how I met my best guy friend, Bass Bob, who is a bass player. I worked with his band and actually got them press coverage. And come to think of it, it is also the way I met my best girlfriend, Attractive Ashley, too. I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything in the world.
I've seen some of my favorite bands perform live too. Being apart of that local music scene made it easy to be apart of the large touring music scene. I've gotten backstage passes to the warped tour, hangout with and ate with my favorite touring musicians, and took a 12-hour road trip with my younger brother, Too-Tall Timmy, to Arizona to see our favorite band after bowling with them before their show. You've never lived until you've done something uniquely interesting like that.
Until this weekend, I've yet to experience anything that cool in L.A. I know it exist here but I just haven't had the opportunities I had in the Bay Area. This weekend I got to see interesting live musical performances. Well, technically it wasn't in L.A. It was just outside of L.A. at a music store that turned into a venue at night. This was a cool place. All the vinyl and musical instruments were cleared out of the way and a stage was erect. There was strangely interesting artwork and decor in the music store. Several paintings that looked like they were inspired by Salvador Dali and some Halloween inspired items, including a life size skeleton sitting on a bench wearing a tie. And if you know me, you know I love ties and Halloween stuff.
And it amazes me what people can do with electronics live. The first performer had his own electronic instrument that he played. I forget the name of it but this guy was good at it. The next band had a real guitar and bass, plus electronic drums and other sounds, and a very talented and beautiful singer. The last group was the reason my friends and I were there. I was with Sexy Sharon and Crazy Carla and we were invited to see Artsy Aaron and his friends jam. And it was truly a jam session. Artsy Aaron had his own electronic music and a sax, guitar, and bass player jamming to his music. Finally, the last performers to the music stage were some DJs. But before the last DJs went on there was a fire performance outside.
I love fire. I love the way it looks when it's being performed with. I had an Ex-boyfriend who performed with fire, Jostled Josh. This weekend Bad-ass Brenda performed and she was hot. I've never seen a fire hoola-hoop before and it was amazing. Sexy Sharon said that Bad-ass Brenda was a really cool chick because she enjoyed showing other fire performers how to do certain tricks, which I guess is rare amongst fire performers. As long as I've known Sexy Sharon, I've never actually seen her perform fire and she was too tired to perform it that night. But I saw Crazy Carla perform with a staff. I love it when she spins the staff to make the flame go really high into the air. Something about fire gets me hot.
Speaking of hot, Sexy Sharon also invited to me a Burlesque show at Aqua on the following night. That place is amazing. They have aquariums in the walls and beautiful decor. And the bathrooms aren't for men & women; they are for sharks and mermaids....ha. Sexy Sharon showed up with Jezebel Julie. Jezebel Julie is a firecracker. She's boldly beautiful with brilliant black hair (I love alliterations) and picturesque features. She boldly called out to a young man, Ex-Eddie, who was sitting alone. She lured him over towards us with the sole intent to entertained herself while we waited for a table. He was fun. We talked about tattoos before getting our table.
He asked a lot of question and answered all of ours. He was stopping by to see his Ex-girlfriend who turned out to be our waitress. We'll call her Waitress Wilma. She made a comment about all men being liars later in the evening and I asked if her Ex-Eddie was a liar too. She said "Oh hell yeah" She was a live wire and sassy as hell. And from the looks of it it doesn't seem like Ex-Eddie will be her Ex for much longer. I saw them kissing in between sets. Young love is so fascinating.
And we met up with Jaded James. He studied at my school in a professional program that I am interested in pursuing after I get my B.A. He gave me some advice. Sharon was bragging about my current writing project but I don't really like talking about it too much. So the conversation quickly turned to the food and the beautiful burlesque babes. The food at Aqua is really good but really expensive, so it's a good thing I ate before I left the house. And the Burlesque Babes were smokin' hot. They performed one of my favorite numbers from Chicago. Nothing like a Cell Block Tango to start of the night.
Jezebel Julie wanted to head home early so she could play with some of her new "toys". Later Sexy Sharon told me that Jezebel Julie kept commenting on my looks and said I was the type of woman she would have been attracted to when she was dating women. Too bad I just met her this weekend. We could have had some fun. I am not sure where Jaded James went to but Sharon and I wound up at nymph party in the valley.
There's nothing hotter than a house full of half-dressed mystical creatures running around a party. I love themed parties. I used to go to these "Kinky" parties in San Francisco monthly. Every month the theme would change. I always find it fun to dress up and mingle with like-minded people. The house in valley was designed with social events in mind. And all the ladies were incredibly beautiful.
I thought it was strange when one girl asked me if I was a model and when I said no, she asked, "Then what are you?" I laughed and told her, "I am a student". She pointed to her friend that looked like Alanis Morrisette and said she was a model. That whole interaction made more sense after I realized that the party was also a "models and artists" get together. One things for sure, the "Kinky" parties in S.F. never had this many beautiful people.
A funny thing happened when I went looking for weed. I ran into Director Derrick. I have been avoiding him lately because I don't want to get physical with him. I've used school as an excuse not to see him, which is a legitimate excuse, by the way. He tried to bust my balls by saying, "I thought you'd be studying." My reply was, "I studied for 6 hours today and thought I could really use a break." He was cool about it. In fact, I'd say he's a really cool person. He smoked me out. And introduced me to a bunch of his friends. I had met some of them previously, so it was cool to have familiar faces to bump into. His friends are all very intriguing.
There was Pregnant Polly and her lover, Alluring Allister, and her gay brother. Pregnant Polly is expecting Alluring Allister's twins, she's 40 and her gay brother is going to help raise the kids. As far as I can tell, Alluring Allister is going to stay around to be the father, while the gay brother plays nanny. It sounds like the kids will be well loved and taken care of and it seems like everyone involved is level headed enough to pull it off.
Alluring Allister told me a story about the inventor man he works for and his crazy Hollywood Hills home. I guess there are 2o-something themed rooms that were designed by a Broadway set designer. The place sounds amazing. I'd love to see it in person. Director Derrick said he had plenty of good times there.
I finally got to see Sexy Sharon perform fire, topless. She didn't have the proper clothes on so she did it without a shirt. It's ok because she wasn't the only exposed-exceptionally beautiful woman there. She's good. She's been doing it for years. She does poi and staff. And I think she's starting to branch out into other tools too (such as sword, fans, ect). There were other performers too. And all the fire performances were wonderful.
It felt like we were camping out. There was some very fascinating conversation whirling around the fire pit. The sexual control of women in the Elizabethan era; modern socialization of sexual pressure; a South-African instrument that someone had; the rarity of beautiful black women in that scene; mystical woodland creature talk; and Director Derrick gave me a great pep talk about not allowing school stress to get me down. Great conversation and company always make a campfire cozy.
And as if all that wasn't enough. There was a performance piece where all the beautiful, barely dressed, nymphs did ritual things together. At that point in the night, I really wished I was sharing it with the guy I like. The party went into the wee earlier morning and needless to say I was useless the next day.
This weekend I got to see a lot of passionate people performing they passions. Whether it was soulful musicians mid-set, sensual lovers mid-coital, fabulous fire-dancers mid-spin, pretty people mid-exchange, or beautiful burlesque babes mid-number. It's always amazing to see people in the middle of what they are passionate about. And L.A. is full of passionate people.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
I'm guilty...
Women who can’t commit?!
By Elina Furman
For years, it was the men who had the monopoly on commitment-phobia. But what about commitment-phobic women? Yes, women! Raised to believe that men are the commitment-shy gender, many women coast through life completely oblivious about their own commitment anxiety—believing they want a relationship yet systematically pushing away one perfectly suitable candidate after another. Isn’t it high time we looked at ourselves and admit that maybe, just maybe, we are the ones who have become commitment-challenged? If you’re ready to finally face the truth, go down the list of these common symptoms and see if any apply.
I'd say that coasting "through life completely oblivious" is a very accurate description of my relationship patterns over the last few years. Before moving to L.A. I didn't really "want" a serious relationship because I knew I was going to be going away to a University. But even under those circumstances, I've recently noticed myself "systematically pushing away" every guy who has enter into my life. It alarmed me recently when I pushed an important person out of my life for no apparent reason, other than I was scared. I've really been focusing on self-improvement lately and wanted to understand my strange behavior and bad habit. I never really thought it had anything to do with commitment. After reading this article, it makes a lot more sense now.
* Once the excitement of first romance has passed, you get bored in most of your relationships.
I, personally, don't get "bored" easily in any situation. Usually what happens is after the initial "excitement" wears off, I get freaked. I have no idea what to do and I start to act out in strange ways. Usually this behavior leads to the end of a perfectly suitable relationship.
* You have a habit of dating unavailable men (married, involved with someone else, geographically or emotionally distant, etc.).
I've never dated a married man, well actually I have, but he was getting a divorce (aren't they all?). I avoid men that are involved in committed relationships because I don't want to be the cause of pain for another women, it's just not my style. I avoid men who are "geographically distant", it's one of the items on my "long and elaborate list of requirements" (see below). But "emotionally distant" men have been my specialty.
* You have a long and elaborate list of requirements for your ideal mate.
I actually don't. I know very few people around my age that are actually married. And the one couple that springs to mind, seem to be a great couple and I was honored to be invited to their wedding and they now have a little daughter. I couldn't be happier for them because they seem truly happy. And I think I am being very objective about this.
* You cultivate larger networks of friends and acquaintances at the expense of romantic relationships.
I may know a lot of people but the number of people I consider "close" friends is relatively small (probably because I am afraid to commit to even friendships that seem to be serious). I never really thought I allowed my friendships to get in the way of my romances (I'm usually pretty good at sabotaging my own romances) but I did notice that I allowed people's opinions to cloud my perception of my most recent relationship.
* You date more than one man at a time to prevent becoming dependent.
I am totally guilty of this. I've told myself more than once that "It's easier to date more than one guy at a time because my emotions can be shared amongst multiple men". However, as of late, I am finding it very difficult to date more than one guy at a time because it's energy and time consuming. Not to mention, it's very difficult on my emotions and people can get hurt.
* You have a difficult time getting over past boyfriends.
Again, I am very guilty of this. I'm still in love with the first guy I ever had a serious relationship/had sex with. I never realized this was a symptom of my fear of commitment.
By now, you probably have a better idea of where you stand on the commitment meter. If you’re now thinking: “Yep, that’s me,” now what? Is there any hope for getting over these issues? The answer to that is a resounding yes! Here’s how:
Accept your uncertainty
One of the biggest mistakes many of you make is thinking that any uncertainty, however slight, is a sign that your relationship is doomed to failure. You think, “If I’m so confused, that must mean something is wrong with my relationship. Shouldn’t I just know if it’s right?” But indecision and anxiety are a very normal part of making a commitment to someone. If you weren’t a little uncertain, then you’d have something to worry about! Face the fact that there’s never going to be a time when you’re 100 percent certain of anything. So if you’re 80 percent sure that the person you’re with will make a good partner, then that’s all the certainty you’re ever going to get.
This is good advice. It makes sense. And I can put it to use right away. Dating advice should always be this logical, clear, and useful.
Just do it
Once you’ve determined whether you’re 80 percent confident, it may be time to take some good-old fashioned action. Be conscious, be circumspect, and be careful, but take the leap. As with any phobia, we often have to face what scares us the most in order to conquer our fears. So it should come as no surprise that one of the best cures for commitment anxiety is just to make a commitment. And if you make a mistake? Well, so be it. After all, one of the ways we learn to trust our instincts is through hindsight. In the end, following the 80 percent rule will help you take calculated risks, not reckless ones.
See above note. I need to trust my instincts and learn from hindsight more.
Avoid the crystal ball
If you’re on the brink of becoming exclusive, cohabiting, or getting married to someone, it’s all too easy to panic and wonder, “But how will I feel one year, five years, or ten years from now?” After all, people change, right? How do you know you will feel exactly the same way five years from now? The answer is: You don’t! No matter how tempting it is to worry about the future of your relationship, you have to accept that there is absolutely no guarantee that things will work out. Worrying about the future is one way to avoid making a decision. No matter how many psychics or astrologers you visit, no one can tell you what to do with your life or what the future holds. In the end, the best thing you can do is focus on the present. Ask yourself: “Am I getting what I want out of the relationship at exactly this moment?” If the answer is yes (or 80 percent yes), rest assured the prognosis is as good as it’s going to get.
This is one of my biggest problems. I preemptively end all romances as soon as I think the future isn't going to be perfect (see my next notice for further info).
Quit nitpicking
Okay, so men can sometimes act like dominating control freaks, but it’s important to note how often we’re guilty of the same offense. Picking fights, acting moody, and making your partner feel like he’s always doing something wrong is a great way to get someone to break up with you. In fact, that’s exactly what many of you do so you can get out of the relationship or avoid commitment. Many of us commitment-phobes have a perfectionist streak that makes us try to control every aspect of the relationship. Unless our partner fits some preconceived mold, we feel we can’t possibly commit to him. Whether it’s his sloppy ways or inability to dress himself, it can be all too tempting to want to change him or control the relationship. Of course, if you’re not ready to commit, no one will ever be good enough for you. So either accept your partner for who he is or leave the relationship altogether.
I am starting to realize that I can be a "dominating control freak" when it comes to romantic relationships. I have an ideal ("preconceived mold") in my head and I do everything possible to make each relationship fit that ideal. I'm notorious for "picking fights, acting moody, and making my partner feel like he's always doing something wrong." and it usually end the relationship. I have "a perfectionist streak", in which I want each relationship to fit. The problem I am noticing with trying to make relationships fit this mold is I am missing out on real life opportunities to experience unique and unscripted situations with great men. I usually avoid trying to change a man and just opt for moving on when it's clear he doesn't match my unrealistic ideal.
Make room
While it’s important to have a full life, many women overdo it. It may be impressive that you have a gazillion friends and unique hobbies, but if you don’t make room in your life for a committed relationship, don’t be surprised if it keeps eluding you. Think of it like this: Once you make room on a table and clear all the stuff away, something new is bound to appear on it. This rule applies to everything. If you’re obsessed with your pet, work 24/7, are absorbed with your children, or are a clutter bug who’s embarrassed to bring people home, you probably don’t have as much time or space for a committed relationship as you think. So if you fit any of these categories, it may just be time to clean up your act and make some physical, emotional, and psychological room in your life.
Another good piece of advice.
My friend put this article on her blog and I thought it was very insightful and had solid advice. It's rare I come across advice that is useful regarding women and dating. I am reposting it with my comments in hopes someone else benefits from it too. Another friend asked me for my opinion on it, so here it is.
Elina Furman is the author of Boomerang Nation and other books. After years of personal experience with commitment phobia, she conquered her own fear and now lives with her boyfriend in New York City.
Excerpt from KISS AND RUN by Elina Furman. Copyright © 2007 by Elina Furman. Reprinted by permission of Fireside, an Imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
By Elina Furman
For years, it was the men who had the monopoly on commitment-phobia. But what about commitment-phobic women? Yes, women! Raised to believe that men are the commitment-shy gender, many women coast through life completely oblivious about their own commitment anxiety—believing they want a relationship yet systematically pushing away one perfectly suitable candidate after another. Isn’t it high time we looked at ourselves and admit that maybe, just maybe, we are the ones who have become commitment-challenged? If you’re ready to finally face the truth, go down the list of these common symptoms and see if any apply.
I'd say that coasting "through life completely oblivious" is a very accurate description of my relationship patterns over the last few years. Before moving to L.A. I didn't really "want" a serious relationship because I knew I was going to be going away to a University. But even under those circumstances, I've recently noticed myself "systematically pushing away" every guy who has enter into my life. It alarmed me recently when I pushed an important person out of my life for no apparent reason, other than I was scared. I've really been focusing on self-improvement lately and wanted to understand my strange behavior and bad habit. I never really thought it had anything to do with commitment. After reading this article, it makes a lot more sense now.
* Once the excitement of first romance has passed, you get bored in most of your relationships.
I, personally, don't get "bored" easily in any situation. Usually what happens is after the initial "excitement" wears off, I get freaked. I have no idea what to do and I start to act out in strange ways. Usually this behavior leads to the end of a perfectly suitable relationship.
* You have a habit of dating unavailable men (married, involved with someone else, geographically or emotionally distant, etc.).
I've never dated a married man, well actually I have, but he was getting a divorce (aren't they all?). I avoid men that are involved in committed relationships because I don't want to be the cause of pain for another women, it's just not my style. I avoid men who are "geographically distant", it's one of the items on my "long and elaborate list of requirements" (see below). But "emotionally distant" men have been my specialty.
* You have a long and elaborate list of requirements for your ideal mate.
It's so long and hard you'd think it was a euphemism for something else.
* You consider your married friends’ relationships boring and feel that many of them have settled for too little.I actually don't. I know very few people around my age that are actually married. And the one couple that springs to mind, seem to be a great couple and I was honored to be invited to their wedding and they now have a little daughter. I couldn't be happier for them because they seem truly happy. And I think I am being very objective about this.
* You cultivate larger networks of friends and acquaintances at the expense of romantic relationships.
I may know a lot of people but the number of people I consider "close" friends is relatively small (probably because I am afraid to commit to even friendships that seem to be serious). I never really thought I allowed my friendships to get in the way of my romances (I'm usually pretty good at sabotaging my own romances) but I did notice that I allowed people's opinions to cloud my perception of my most recent relationship.
* You date more than one man at a time to prevent becoming dependent.
I am totally guilty of this. I've told myself more than once that "It's easier to date more than one guy at a time because my emotions can be shared amongst multiple men". However, as of late, I am finding it very difficult to date more than one guy at a time because it's energy and time consuming. Not to mention, it's very difficult on my emotions and people can get hurt.
* You have a difficult time getting over past boyfriends.
Again, I am very guilty of this. I'm still in love with the first guy I ever had a serious relationship/had sex with. I never realized this was a symptom of my fear of commitment.
By now, you probably have a better idea of where you stand on the commitment meter. If you’re now thinking: “Yep, that’s me,” now what? Is there any hope for getting over these issues? The answer to that is a resounding yes! Here’s how:
Accept your uncertainty
One of the biggest mistakes many of you make is thinking that any uncertainty, however slight, is a sign that your relationship is doomed to failure. You think, “If I’m so confused, that must mean something is wrong with my relationship. Shouldn’t I just know if it’s right?” But indecision and anxiety are a very normal part of making a commitment to someone. If you weren’t a little uncertain, then you’d have something to worry about! Face the fact that there’s never going to be a time when you’re 100 percent certain of anything. So if you’re 80 percent sure that the person you’re with will make a good partner, then that’s all the certainty you’re ever going to get.
This is good advice. It makes sense. And I can put it to use right away. Dating advice should always be this logical, clear, and useful.
Just do it
Once you’ve determined whether you’re 80 percent confident, it may be time to take some good-old fashioned action. Be conscious, be circumspect, and be careful, but take the leap. As with any phobia, we often have to face what scares us the most in order to conquer our fears. So it should come as no surprise that one of the best cures for commitment anxiety is just to make a commitment. And if you make a mistake? Well, so be it. After all, one of the ways we learn to trust our instincts is through hindsight. In the end, following the 80 percent rule will help you take calculated risks, not reckless ones.
See above note. I need to trust my instincts and learn from hindsight more.
Avoid the crystal ball
If you’re on the brink of becoming exclusive, cohabiting, or getting married to someone, it’s all too easy to panic and wonder, “But how will I feel one year, five years, or ten years from now?” After all, people change, right? How do you know you will feel exactly the same way five years from now? The answer is: You don’t! No matter how tempting it is to worry about the future of your relationship, you have to accept that there is absolutely no guarantee that things will work out. Worrying about the future is one way to avoid making a decision. No matter how many psychics or astrologers you visit, no one can tell you what to do with your life or what the future holds. In the end, the best thing you can do is focus on the present. Ask yourself: “Am I getting what I want out of the relationship at exactly this moment?” If the answer is yes (or 80 percent yes), rest assured the prognosis is as good as it’s going to get.
This is one of my biggest problems. I preemptively end all romances as soon as I think the future isn't going to be perfect (see my next notice for further info).
Quit nitpicking
Okay, so men can sometimes act like dominating control freaks, but it’s important to note how often we’re guilty of the same offense. Picking fights, acting moody, and making your partner feel like he’s always doing something wrong is a great way to get someone to break up with you. In fact, that’s exactly what many of you do so you can get out of the relationship or avoid commitment. Many of us commitment-phobes have a perfectionist streak that makes us try to control every aspect of the relationship. Unless our partner fits some preconceived mold, we feel we can’t possibly commit to him. Whether it’s his sloppy ways or inability to dress himself, it can be all too tempting to want to change him or control the relationship. Of course, if you’re not ready to commit, no one will ever be good enough for you. So either accept your partner for who he is or leave the relationship altogether.
I am starting to realize that I can be a "dominating control freak" when it comes to romantic relationships. I have an ideal ("preconceived mold") in my head and I do everything possible to make each relationship fit that ideal. I'm notorious for "picking fights, acting moody, and making my partner feel like he's always doing something wrong." and it usually end the relationship. I have "a perfectionist streak", in which I want each relationship to fit. The problem I am noticing with trying to make relationships fit this mold is I am missing out on real life opportunities to experience unique and unscripted situations with great men. I usually avoid trying to change a man and just opt for moving on when it's clear he doesn't match my unrealistic ideal.
Make room
While it’s important to have a full life, many women overdo it. It may be impressive that you have a gazillion friends and unique hobbies, but if you don’t make room in your life for a committed relationship, don’t be surprised if it keeps eluding you. Think of it like this: Once you make room on a table and clear all the stuff away, something new is bound to appear on it. This rule applies to everything. If you’re obsessed with your pet, work 24/7, are absorbed with your children, or are a clutter bug who’s embarrassed to bring people home, you probably don’t have as much time or space for a committed relationship as you think. So if you fit any of these categories, it may just be time to clean up your act and make some physical, emotional, and psychological room in your life.
Another good piece of advice.
My friend put this article on her blog and I thought it was very insightful and had solid advice. It's rare I come across advice that is useful regarding women and dating. I am reposting it with my comments in hopes someone else benefits from it too. Another friend asked me for my opinion on it, so here it is.
Elina Furman is the author of Boomerang Nation and other books. After years of personal experience with commitment phobia, she conquered her own fear and now lives with her boyfriend in New York City.
Excerpt from KISS AND RUN by Elina Furman. Copyright © 2007 by Elina Furman. Reprinted by permission of Fireside, an Imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
PUA concepts that confuse me (a little): Frame Control
As much as I like the Seduction community, there are somethings that make me uneasy (which I'll save for another blog post) and something that just confuse me. Frame control is one of those things that I just don't understand all that well.
Sinn did a great post on Frame Control but I am still a little confused. And because there isn't a whole lot of "free" information on frames and frame control I am finding it hard to wrap my brain around this concept.
As I mentioned before I get a lot of free newsletters from various seduction community organizations. Most of it seems pretty useless to my research but I occasionally read through different newsletters when their titles catch my eye.
I recently received a Mehow, Inc. newsletter that mentioned a "frame". But it makes no sense to me. Here's the frame excerpt from the newsletter:
In my paper I want to compare "framing" in advertising to "frame control" in the seduction community. So, I'll have to a little more research or ask a PUA to explain this concept to me.
I think I understand what a frame is. It's a reality that a PUA wants to convey. One example I can think of is "I am the prize" frame.
The thing I am having trouble understanding is how to establish/create and control/maintain that frame. I guess that sort of stuff is covered in the e-books, seminars, and other products available in this community.
I think I'll ask my Professor to explain advertising frames or refer me to the reading where it was discussed. He's mentioned frames in class several times but I don't actually recall reading about them. Maybe if I understanding advertising frames I can understand PUA's frame control. Because understanding PUA stuff has helped me understand advertising stuff (I'm hoping the reverse is true also).
The only other examples of frames I can think of are "framing" in movies and television and literary frames within frames (i.e., Canterbury Tales, etc). And some how I doubt the PUA frame is related to either of these two concepts.
Sinn did a great post on Frame Control but I am still a little confused. And because there isn't a whole lot of "free" information on frames and frame control I am finding it hard to wrap my brain around this concept.
As I mentioned before I get a lot of free newsletters from various seduction community organizations. Most of it seems pretty useless to my research but I occasionally read through different newsletters when their titles catch my eye.
I recently received a Mehow, Inc. newsletter that mentioned a "frame". But it makes no sense to me. Here's the frame excerpt from the newsletter:
"'You are the cutest ... space alien I've met all night.'
When you do this the content makes it such that you HAVE TO BE PLAYFULL because its hard to come off un-playful when you start talking about space aliens. The reason playful works is that it creates a happy playpen that communicates you are having fun. When you do this women immediately fall into that frame subconsciously and accept the teasing."
What frame involves "space aliens"? Is this an astronaut frame? Sci-fi frame? I don't get how a girl "subconsciously" falls into anything with this frame. It just doesn't make sense to me.In my paper I want to compare "framing" in advertising to "frame control" in the seduction community. So, I'll have to a little more research or ask a PUA to explain this concept to me.
I think I understand what a frame is. It's a reality that a PUA wants to convey. One example I can think of is "I am the prize" frame.
The thing I am having trouble understanding is how to establish/create and control/maintain that frame. I guess that sort of stuff is covered in the e-books, seminars, and other products available in this community.
I think I'll ask my Professor to explain advertising frames or refer me to the reading where it was discussed. He's mentioned frames in class several times but I don't actually recall reading about them. Maybe if I understanding advertising frames I can understand PUA's frame control. Because understanding PUA stuff has helped me understand advertising stuff (I'm hoping the reverse is true also).
The only other examples of frames I can think of are "framing" in movies and television and literary frames within frames (i.e., Canterbury Tales, etc). And some how I doubt the PUA frame is related to either of these two concepts.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
I just bombed my midterm
Ugh....I am trying to stay positive about this but I am really bummed. It's hard to identify and explicate 7 out of 10 old/middle English passages and take 2 of those passages and compare them to 2 other texts in 50 minutes. Add to that my learning disability and acute physical limitations.
I know my self worth isn't effected by getting an F. I just hate failing. Especially, failing at the school I am at. I've worked very hard to get here. I know I am intelligent, even if I did poorly on this test. I just do NOT want to get bad grades. I strive to maintain my grades so that I have plenty of options after I graduate.
I really need to take the advice I've been giving others lately and stay focused on the good stuff in life. It's not the end of the world, it's just a lousy feeling, that will pass. At least it's Valentine's Day and I can eat as much chocolate as I want without feeling guilty. Yay!
I know my self worth isn't effected by getting an F. I just hate failing. Especially, failing at the school I am at. I've worked very hard to get here. I know I am intelligent, even if I did poorly on this test. I just do NOT want to get bad grades. I strive to maintain my grades so that I have plenty of options after I graduate.
I really need to take the advice I've been giving others lately and stay focused on the good stuff in life. It's not the end of the world, it's just a lousy feeling, that will pass. At least it's Valentine's Day and I can eat as much chocolate as I want without feeling guilty. Yay!
Why I do NOT hate Valentine's Day
I am a hopeless romantic. And not just in the sense of candle-lit dinners and flowers but also in the sense that I am idealist. If you've read my blog you've seen me write that before. And if you continue to read my blog, you will most likely continue to see me write that again (I am sure of it).
I've been single (without a serious boyfriend) for over 5 years now. In fact, I've only had one serious boyfriend in my entire life. Our relationship lasted for 4 years and it was wonderful (for the most part). We were friends before we became official. And our friendship blossomed because of Valentine's Day 10 years ago.
We met senior year in high school in a psychology class. He had a girlfriend when I first met him. I distinctly remember our first "real" conversation. We were doing a trust exercise and he, his best friend, and I sat in the same group. The groups were divided into levels of trust in other people. (we didn't trust people very much). Because he had a girlfriend I didn't pursue him past that point. Even though I thought he was incredibly cute. Until he broke up with his girlfriend (which was messy).
Our psychology teacher proposed a Valentine's Day gift exchange. And if you know me, you know that I love to give (and receive) gifts. I've never had much money, so I pride myself on giving thoughtful and creative gifts.
So the gift exchange went like this, anyone who wanted to participate could...and of course anyone who didn't want to participate didn't have to. There were maybe 8 guys in a class of at least 30. So when the teacher was handing out names he separated the guys names from the girls names and asked who wanted to draw guys' names. Of course being as boy crazy as I was (and still am) I wanted to get a gift for a guy in class. So I drew my Valentine's Day gift exchange name and it was....
some other cool guy in class.
That was fine. Not a big deal. As the teacher is making his way around the room, the girl behind me asks if I want to change names. I said "Who do you have?" She showed me and without hesitation I took the little piece of paper with his name on it. We'll call him Jealous Jason (because I found out later in the relationship he had troubles with the green-eyed monster). I was so excited. I couldn't hardly wait.
So at this point I knew very little about him but I knew he liked Nine Inch Nails and Tori Amos. I had no idea who Tori Amos was at the time, so I went in search of some of her stuff. Even the workers at the music stores didn't know who she was (remember this was 10 years ago). I eventually got this really morbid poster of her naked and dirty with a pig on her lap; she was in a rocking chair on a front porch. And I also ended up taking a foam disk and putting 9 one-inch nails in it. The nails were placed in the shape of the letters N I N. At the time I thought it was clever and thoughtful. Looking back it was probably pretty lame.
I wrote him a card and put my # in it. He seemed to like the effort I put into the gift and that started our friendship. We ended up going to prom together and he asked me to be his girlfriend that summer, just before I was to start community college and he was to start film school. I admired his ambition to do something so creative. At the time, I had NO idea what I wanted to do with my life or education. And I remember thinking it takes balls to do something none practical...I was even more naive back then than I am now.
I tried to do something special for him every Valentine's Day because I loved him and it was just nostalgic. And on the last Valentine's Day we spent together I did "The 14 days of Valentine's" it was a count down to Valentine's Day and I made a little poem/song that was much like the 12 days of Christmas but with a Valentine's Day theme. On each day I gave him gifts that corresponded to the poem. So 14 hearts, and 13 something or others, and so on and so forth....I can't remember what the poem said or what I actually ended up giving him but they were all cute little V-Day gifts. It was fun to be so creative.
Well, anyhoo enough about the past. I love Valentine's Day for what it has meant to me and what it means to me now and in the future. I do not care if I am single, or if I am casually dating others, or in a (serious) relationship. It's just a day to have fun. And it reminds me of "love" and since I am a romantic anything that reminds me of the possibility of being in love really makes me happy.
Seeing all the red hearts and pink kisses or romantic flowers is great. The consumerism of the holiday does NOT bother me at all. The lovey-dovey stuff doesn't make me sick. And I love the chocolate. Besides it's a day I can dress all in pink (and I look great in pink).
I love Valentine's Day for what it could be...fun and loving and expressions of feelings.
I've been single (without a serious boyfriend) for over 5 years now. In fact, I've only had one serious boyfriend in my entire life. Our relationship lasted for 4 years and it was wonderful (for the most part). We were friends before we became official. And our friendship blossomed because of Valentine's Day 10 years ago.
We met senior year in high school in a psychology class. He had a girlfriend when I first met him. I distinctly remember our first "real" conversation. We were doing a trust exercise and he, his best friend, and I sat in the same group. The groups were divided into levels of trust in other people. (we didn't trust people very much). Because he had a girlfriend I didn't pursue him past that point. Even though I thought he was incredibly cute. Until he broke up with his girlfriend (which was messy).
Our psychology teacher proposed a Valentine's Day gift exchange. And if you know me, you know that I love to give (and receive) gifts. I've never had much money, so I pride myself on giving thoughtful and creative gifts.
So the gift exchange went like this, anyone who wanted to participate could...and of course anyone who didn't want to participate didn't have to. There were maybe 8 guys in a class of at least 30. So when the teacher was handing out names he separated the guys names from the girls names and asked who wanted to draw guys' names. Of course being as boy crazy as I was (and still am) I wanted to get a gift for a guy in class. So I drew my Valentine's Day gift exchange name and it was....
some other cool guy in class.
That was fine. Not a big deal. As the teacher is making his way around the room, the girl behind me asks if I want to change names. I said "Who do you have?" She showed me and without hesitation I took the little piece of paper with his name on it. We'll call him Jealous Jason (because I found out later in the relationship he had troubles with the green-eyed monster). I was so excited. I couldn't hardly wait.
So at this point I knew very little about him but I knew he liked Nine Inch Nails and Tori Amos. I had no idea who Tori Amos was at the time, so I went in search of some of her stuff. Even the workers at the music stores didn't know who she was (remember this was 10 years ago). I eventually got this really morbid poster of her naked and dirty with a pig on her lap; she was in a rocking chair on a front porch. And I also ended up taking a foam disk and putting 9 one-inch nails in it. The nails were placed in the shape of the letters N I N. At the time I thought it was clever and thoughtful. Looking back it was probably pretty lame.
I wrote him a card and put my # in it. He seemed to like the effort I put into the gift and that started our friendship. We ended up going to prom together and he asked me to be his girlfriend that summer, just before I was to start community college and he was to start film school. I admired his ambition to do something so creative. At the time, I had NO idea what I wanted to do with my life or education. And I remember thinking it takes balls to do something none practical...I was even more naive back then than I am now.
I tried to do something special for him every Valentine's Day because I loved him and it was just nostalgic. And on the last Valentine's Day we spent together I did "The 14 days of Valentine's" it was a count down to Valentine's Day and I made a little poem/song that was much like the 12 days of Christmas but with a Valentine's Day theme. On each day I gave him gifts that corresponded to the poem. So 14 hearts, and 13 something or others, and so on and so forth....I can't remember what the poem said or what I actually ended up giving him but they were all cute little V-Day gifts. It was fun to be so creative.
Well, anyhoo enough about the past. I love Valentine's Day for what it has meant to me and what it means to me now and in the future. I do not care if I am single, or if I am casually dating others, or in a (serious) relationship. It's just a day to have fun. And it reminds me of "love" and since I am a romantic anything that reminds me of the possibility of being in love really makes me happy.
Seeing all the red hearts and pink kisses or romantic flowers is great. The consumerism of the holiday does NOT bother me at all. The lovey-dovey stuff doesn't make me sick. And I love the chocolate. Besides it's a day I can dress all in pink (and I look great in pink).
I love Valentine's Day for what it could be...fun and loving and expressions of feelings.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
I need a quick opinion
MY OPENER
I can't stay long because I have a midterm to study for. But I need your opinion on something:
What do you think of The Mystery Method's(TMM) Venusian Arts Handbook (VAH)?
The reason I am asking is because my Communication Studies project/paper proposal is due on Friday. I have to outline what I plan to do in my paper and I am considering using this as a reference. Your opinion is greatly needed.
MY PAPER
My Communication Studies project is focused on comparing advertising and entertainment concepts with similar concepts in the seduction community. Some parallels I am considering discussing are: Branding, Positioning, Evolutionary-Arms race, Frames, Psychological Triggers, etc.
MY REQUEST
If you do NOT own it, please visit the link and list 3-5 things you like about the VAH webpage & 3-5 things you think could be improved on the page. Also list your likelihood of purchasing the VAH on a scale 0-10 (0= would NEVER buy it; 10=I'm ordering it now). You can leave this info as a comment.
If you own the TMM VHA, please leave a review as a comment. Let me know what you think of it. 3-5 things you like and 3-5 things you think could be improved in future editions.
Also please include in your comment: your age, location, sex, and if you consider yourself a PUA or not.
Your feedback is very important to me and my project. It should take anywhere from 5-20 minutes to complete this task (depending on how thorough you want to be). I really appreciate you taking the time to assist me with my project.
I can't stay long because I have a midterm to study for.
What do you think of The Mystery Method's(TMM) Venusian Arts Handbook (VAH)?
The reason I am asking is because my Communication Studies project/paper proposal is due on Friday. I have to outline what I plan to do in my paper and I am considering using this as a reference. Your opinion is greatly needed.
MY PAPER
My Communication Studies project is focused on comparing advertising and entertainment concepts with similar concepts in the seduction community. Some parallels I am considering discussing are: Branding, Positioning, Evolutionary-Arms race, Frames, Psychological Triggers, etc.
MY REQUEST
If you do NOT own it, please visit the link and list 3-5 things you like about the VAH webpage & 3-5 things you think could be improved on the page. Also list your likelihood of purchasing the VAH on a scale 0-10 (0= would NEVER buy it; 10=I'm ordering it now). You can leave this info as a comment.
If you own the TMM VHA, please leave a review as a comment. Let me know what you think of it. 3-5 things you like and 3-5 things you think could be improved in future editions.
Also please include in your comment: your age, location, sex, and if you consider yourself a PUA or not.
Your feedback is very important to me and my project. It should take anywhere from 5-20 minutes to complete this task (depending on how thorough you want to be). I really appreciate you taking the time to assist me with my project.
Monday, February 12, 2007
My Female Advice to those doing StyleLife Challenge
TrainWrecker and anyone else having trouble,
I am making this advice public just in case it will help anyone else. I am here to help and give support. I am NOT an expert; I am just a caring individual who wants to see guys succeed. Why you might ask. Because if guys succeed then women succeed. It's that simple. My advice is this:
DO NOT EVER GIVE UP.
Here are some more tips:
Mind-shaping audio:
Listen to the mind-shaping audio every day. Hell, I let it play while I was sleeping for 2 night in a row. Let it sink in. Let it play even when you're not doing the exercise (as background noise). BUT make sure you're doing the exercise too. Do it right before you go out at night and do it right after you get back. Think of the worst part of the night and use that example during the mind-shaping exercise. Give it your full effort. Force yourself to really do it, FULLY. This is meant to build confidence.
Positive-self talk
I am a god. People love me. I glow and radiate charisma and charm. I stand out from everyone else around me. Talking to me is a privilege. I deserve the best the world has to offer. It’s all out there, waiting for ME to take it.
Commit these statements to memory. I memorized them in one day. When ever a negative thought pops into your head repeat one, any, or all of these (or other) positive statements to yourself.
If a HB10 blows you out. Say to yourself "People love me" or "Talking to me is a privilege. She just revoked her privilege." or which ever one makes you feel better. I've done this consistently for the last week, it's helped my stress level and it's helped me feel more confident in social situations.
Your thoughts are very powerful. You can choose to have negative thoughts and they will have a negative impact on your life or you can choose positive thoughts and they will have a positive impact on your life. The point is that you choose. It's difficult at first to recognize or change negative thoughts but take the first step by just acknowledging those negative thoughts and replacing them with something positive.
Visualization:
Again, the power of the mind is incredibly profound. I love to reference Captain Jack's blog.
Do a similar exercise before going out at night. But this time imagine the night the way you want to it to go. See yourself. What are you doing? Where are you? What does your body language look like? What does your smile look like? Who are you with? Make sure there are HBs in your visualization (if that's what you want and I am assuming it is). Visualize the energy from the mind-shaping audio in your visualization of the night. See the energy going 30 feet into the air and expanding all around you. Open a few sets in your visualization. Remember to approach at an angle (ask over your shoulder). Read TenMagnet's blog of an example.
I know it takes more time and energy to do these exercises but ANYTHING worth doing in life or doing anything well in life take more time and energy to do. It's well worth the time and energy you put into it. If you don't believe me, take the time and energy to prove me wrong.
I have more advanced advice but I need to get going before I'm late for class. Please stay tuned. I do NOT want to see anyone give up and I don't want to see anyone defer this for a week. We're here to support you through this.
I am making this advice public just in case it will help anyone else. I am here to help and give support. I am NOT an expert; I am just a caring individual who wants to see guys succeed. Why you might ask. Because if guys succeed then women succeed. It's that simple. My advice is this:
DO NOT EVER GIVE UP.
Here are some more tips:
Mind-shaping audio:
Listen to the mind-shaping audio every day. Hell, I let it play while I was sleeping for 2 night in a row. Let it sink in. Let it play even when you're not doing the exercise (as background noise). BUT make sure you're doing the exercise too. Do it right before you go out at night and do it right after you get back. Think of the worst part of the night and use that example during the mind-shaping exercise. Give it your full effort. Force yourself to really do it, FULLY. This is meant to build confidence.
Positive-self talk
I am a god. People love me. I glow and radiate charisma and charm. I stand out from everyone else around me. Talking to me is a privilege. I deserve the best the world has to offer. It’s all out there, waiting for ME to take it.
Commit these statements to memory. I memorized them in one day. When ever a negative thought pops into your head repeat one, any, or all of these (or other) positive statements to yourself.
If a HB10 blows you out. Say to yourself "People love me" or "Talking to me is a privilege. She just revoked her privilege." or which ever one makes you feel better. I've done this consistently for the last week, it's helped my stress level and it's helped me feel more confident in social situations.
Your thoughts are very powerful. You can choose to have negative thoughts and they will have a negative impact on your life or you can choose positive thoughts and they will have a positive impact on your life. The point is that you choose. It's difficult at first to recognize or change negative thoughts but take the first step by just acknowledging those negative thoughts and replacing them with something positive.
Visualization:
Again, the power of the mind is incredibly profound. I love to reference Captain Jack's blog.
Do a similar exercise before going out at night. But this time imagine the night the way you want to it to go. See yourself. What are you doing? Where are you? What does your body language look like? What does your smile look like? Who are you with? Make sure there are HBs in your visualization (if that's what you want and I am assuming it is). Visualize the energy from the mind-shaping audio in your visualization of the night. See the energy going 30 feet into the air and expanding all around you. Open a few sets in your visualization. Remember to approach at an angle (ask over your shoulder). Read TenMagnet's blog of an example.
I know it takes more time and energy to do these exercises but ANYTHING worth doing in life or doing anything well in life take more time and energy to do. It's well worth the time and energy you put into it. If you don't believe me, take the time and energy to prove me wrong.
I have more advanced advice but I need to get going before I'm late for class. Please stay tuned. I do NOT want to see anyone give up and I don't want to see anyone defer this for a week. We're here to support you through this.
Style Life Challenge, Day 8 ADVICE ONLY
Day 8
TASK 1
Listen to the following audio lesson on anticipating and defusing objections to approaches:
CHECK. I listened to the audio several times. There is really solid advice on it. I especially like the advice about making it seem spontaneous and also using your body language to convey initially that you won't stay long (i.e., asking over your shoulder, etc)
TASK 2
Go out and approach five women or groups that include women today with the openers you used yesterday.
I stayed in doors all day today. I am not doing this challenge to get dates. I might just try opening a few sets at school today.
TASK 3
When you return home tonight, ask yourself if you noticed anything different about the way the women you approached today responded in comparison with your first time using these openers yesterday.
If you noticed any difference, share it in the forums on the main Challenge Discussion board.
I think this is very important. Really take the time to analyze what happened. Taking this extra at the end of the day will really improve your game. Because it forces your to go over the material/experience multiple times (repetition is key) and it also forces you to pay more attention in the field. The more aware you are in the field the better.
TASK 4
Get an insight into the dating world, mating options, and male courtship strategies from a female perspective.
I didn't see this anywhere. Where is it?
Listen to the following audio lesson on anticipating and defusing objections to approaches:
CHECK. I listened to the audio several times. There is really solid advice on it. I especially like the advice about making it seem spontaneous and also using your body language to convey initially that you won't stay long (i.e., asking over your shoulder, etc)
TASK 2
Go out and approach five women or groups that include women today with the openers you used yesterday.
I stayed in doors all day today. I am not doing this challenge to get dates. I might just try opening a few sets at school today.
TASK 3
When you return home tonight, ask yourself if you noticed anything different about the way the women you approached today responded in comparison with your first time using these openers yesterday.
If you noticed any difference, share it in the forums on the main Challenge Discussion board.
I think this is very important. Really take the time to analyze what happened. Taking this extra at the end of the day will really improve your game. Because it forces your to go over the material/experience multiple times (repetition is key) and it also forces you to pay more attention in the field. The more aware you are in the field the better.
TASK 4
Get an insight into the dating world, mating options, and male courtship strategies from a female perspective.
I didn't see this anywhere. Where is it?
Sunday, February 11, 2007
What women want in a relationship
I've been doing a lot of research on the seduction community and thus receive a lot of emails from different group/companies within the community. I'd have to say a lot of it is not that helpful to my research and some of it is even (in my opinion) wrong or misguided.
The OAP, from The Mystery Method, seems to be the best newsletter I've come across. It's well written, easy to understand, and full of very helpful information.
I receive newsletters from some of the other companies or groups but most of it seems like trash. My email box is full of emails that just sit there because I don't know what to do with them. Occasionally, I'll read through some of the newsletters just to see if there is anything helpful listed within them.
I recently got an email from the art of the approach, and it was title "What women want in a relationship"....since I am a woman I thought I read it to see if it matched my desires. Some of the advice given seemed legit enough and then I read the following comment:
I found this statement very odd. I realize that the term "most women" is a little broad. I'd like to think that I fall into that category most of the time but I do realize that I have had some very unique experiences in my life.
With that being said, I am very used to having men who ARE good in bed. In fact, I'd say that a very small percentage of the men I've been with could be consider "bad" in bed. I pride myself on being understanding and open minded, so I don't general judge a guy based off of our first experience together. It can be a nerve-racking experience and things tend to be more awkward the first time. So I always give a guy a second chance.
Most guys improve greatly after the initial awkwardness and I'd say I've had some very skillful men in bed. But I would never say a guy is a "Keeper" based of his sexual abilities, ALONE.
Oh the other hand, I have had several lovers who were amazing in bed . Unfortunately, these guys were never boyfriend material and the relationships were casual.
In fact, I've only dumped one guy because he was clueless in bed. He was awful, really awful and since it was a casual relationship, I didn't feel the need to spend the time trying to correct his awfulness.
If you've read my blog, you know it takes more than bedroom skills to keep me in a relationship. I am looking for a partner that is well balanced in many aspects of his life, not just overly good in one or two areas. And I don't want a partner who is OVERLY bad in any important areas. There are more important things in a relationship than sex.
Don't get me wrong, sex is an important thing but it's NOT the only important thing and the sex should be at least "good".
I think the above statement should read:
Women are used to having great sex. Regardless of your bedroom skills you better have the rest of your life together because "keeper" status is reserved for men who deserve it.
The OAP, from The Mystery Method, seems to be the best newsletter I've come across. It's well written, easy to understand, and full of very helpful information.
I receive newsletters from some of the other companies or groups but most of it seems like trash. My email box is full of emails that just sit there because I don't know what to do with them. Occasionally, I'll read through some of the newsletters just to see if there is anything helpful listed within them.
I recently got an email from the art of the approach, and it was title "What women want in a relationship"....since I am a woman I thought I read it to see if it matched my desires. Some of the advice given seemed legit enough and then I read the following comment:
"Most women aren't used to having men who are
good in bed. So if you can please her
between the sheets, then chances are she'll
see you as a "keeper."
I found this statement very odd. I realize that the term "most women" is a little broad. I'd like to think that I fall into that category most of the time but I do realize that I have had some very unique experiences in my life.
With that being said, I am very used to having men who ARE good in bed. In fact, I'd say that a very small percentage of the men I've been with could be consider "bad" in bed. I pride myself on being understanding and open minded, so I don't general judge a guy based off of our first experience together. It can be a nerve-racking experience and things tend to be more awkward the first time. So I always give a guy a second chance.
Most guys improve greatly after the initial awkwardness and I'd say I've had some very skillful men in bed. But I would never say a guy is a "Keeper" based of his sexual abilities, ALONE.
Oh the other hand, I have had several lovers who were amazing in bed . Unfortunately, these guys were never boyfriend material and the relationships were casual.
In fact, I've only dumped one guy because he was clueless in bed. He was awful, really awful and since it was a casual relationship, I didn't feel the need to spend the time trying to correct his awfulness.
If you've read my blog, you know it takes more than bedroom skills to keep me in a relationship. I am looking for a partner that is well balanced in many aspects of his life, not just overly good in one or two areas. And I don't want a partner who is OVERLY bad in any important areas. There are more important things in a relationship than sex.
Don't get me wrong, sex is an important thing but it's NOT the only important thing and the sex should be at least "good".
I think the above statement should read:
Women are used to having great sex. Regardless of your bedroom skills you better have the rest of your life together because "keeper" status is reserved for men who deserve it.
Peacocking
Another thing I like about what the Pick-up Artists do is called "Peacocking". It's basically a theory (which I'll probably butcher the meaning) that is based off of male peacock mating rituals.
Male peacocks (like most male birds) are more attractive looking than their female counterparts. When peacocks want to mate they put themselves at great risk by displaying their beautiful tail feathers. This is a display that conveys to the female that not only is the male peacock attractive, he is also able to survive well even though his attractive qualities can put him in harms way.
The theory as it relates to man is, if a guy can be flashy he is sub-communicating that he is able to survive even with his flashy ways. This sometimes gets jumbled up into strange outfits or crazy accessories. But when done well, by an experienced PUA, it comes together very well.
A well peacocked outfit consists of fashion that conveys a visual narrative about the person. And usually involved well fitting clothes and congruent accessories.
There is plenty of advice and commentary on the subject available online. I just wanted to add my 2 cents to the discussion.
I love a fashionable man. I love a man who takes time with his appearance and who has a strong identity to convey through his fashion. And I love a man that can wear jewelery.
I stumbled upon a website, JustMetal, that offers unique men's jewelery at great prices. I have bought some stuff from this company for my Ex-boyfriend, before we broke up a few years ago. He still wears the jewelery and it still looks great.
Male peacocks (like most male birds) are more attractive looking than their female counterparts. When peacocks want to mate they put themselves at great risk by displaying their beautiful tail feathers. This is a display that conveys to the female that not only is the male peacock attractive, he is also able to survive well even though his attractive qualities can put him in harms way.
The theory as it relates to man is, if a guy can be flashy he is sub-communicating that he is able to survive even with his flashy ways. This sometimes gets jumbled up into strange outfits or crazy accessories. But when done well, by an experienced PUA, it comes together very well.
A well peacocked outfit consists of fashion that conveys a visual narrative about the person. And usually involved well fitting clothes and congruent accessories.
There is plenty of advice and commentary on the subject available online. I just wanted to add my 2 cents to the discussion.
I love a fashionable man. I love a man who takes time with his appearance and who has a strong identity to convey through his fashion. And I love a man that can wear jewelery.
I stumbled upon a website, JustMetal, that offers unique men's jewelery at great prices. I have bought some stuff from this company for my Ex-boyfriend, before we broke up a few years ago. He still wears the jewelery and it still looks great.
10 reason I am facinated by the Seduction Community
I keep getting asked why I am so fascinated and interested in the seduction community. I have a bunch of reasons but trying to tell people all of these has been difficult. Most of my answers are based off of free information I've research regarding The Mystery Method.
I realized that I may have a very romantic/idealistic view of the seduction community. I've spent a great deal of time researching the community.
1.Lonely Guys
At it's core, I believe these are guys who are looking to improve themselves and their lives. I've seen/experienced some of the techniques used and they really work. I think lonely guys can benefit from having this information available. I think about my little brother, my best friend, and other friends who aren't getting what they deserve out of life and from women.
2. Lonely Girls
Girls benefit when guys work on improving themselves and their lives. Most of my girlfriends are very independent, beautiful, and successful but most of them are single and this is mostly likely because there are more women than men in this world. If more guys work on improving themselves more of my girlfriends may find great guys to date.
3. Attraction
Everything I've read, seen, experienced about attraction seems to be spot on. AFCs tend to approach women and try to build comfort right away (what's your name?; Where are you from?; What do you do for fun?; etc). Trying to build comfort without attraction is like trying to build a house on quick sand. Maybe that's not the best metaphor but I can't really think of another one that works better. Guys in the community are taught to make themselves attractive, not only visually but also in all aspects of their lives. Attraction involves opening (approaching) a women, then the guy attracts her to him with storytelling and other attractive things, and the final part is having her show her attraction to him.
4. Comfort
After attraction comes comfort. Done skillfully, this is powerful. It's all about keeping the sexual tension going while allowing her to feel comfortable with being with the guy.
5. Seduction
I think Sinn said it best in his post: "sex is normal and natural." Men want it, women want it; to pretend other wise is a great disservice to ourselves and our society. It feels good to be seduced by someone who knows what he's (or she's) doing.
6. Research
I am mainly interested in this community to do research on a few projects I am working on. The more I research the more fascinated I am with what I am learning. I've come across a few things that are NOT that appealing or come off very misogynistic but no more misogynistic than anything I've heard from AFCs.
7. Happiness
If men and women are hooking up with each other, they are creating happiness together. And if they are truly finding the "guy" or "girl" of their dreams then they are really happy. Happiness is contagious.
8. Love
Anything that brings love into this world can't be all that bad, can it?
9. PUA guys from the community
I've been fortunate enough to come across some amazing men in this community. I'm completely jealous of guys like Sinn, because he gets paid to travel the world to teach men how to meet women. It's beyond cool in my book. I enjoy both newbies and more advanced guys.
Here are some of the PUA blogs that I follow:
The Real Savoy
Sinns of Attraction
Captain Jack's
Thought Magnet
Immaculate Seduction
Modern Savage
10. Stalwart Stud
He's the reason I found out about this community. I don't discuss him much because I prefer my anonymity and I am sure he values his. I really like him. I am really enjoying my time with him. If I hadn't have met him I would have been pick-up and dumped off numerous times by PUA since I've moved to LA. I've never met a man like him before in my life.
And if all the reasons weren't enough I have one more; It's fun. I am having great fun doing this research.
I realized that I may have a very romantic/idealistic view of the seduction community. I've spent a great deal of time researching the community.
1.Lonely Guys
At it's core, I believe these are guys who are looking to improve themselves and their lives. I've seen/experienced some of the techniques used and they really work. I think lonely guys can benefit from having this information available. I think about my little brother, my best friend, and other friends who aren't getting what they deserve out of life and from women.
2. Lonely Girls
Girls benefit when guys work on improving themselves and their lives. Most of my girlfriends are very independent, beautiful, and successful but most of them are single and this is mostly likely because there are more women than men in this world. If more guys work on improving themselves more of my girlfriends may find great guys to date.
3. Attraction
Everything I've read, seen, experienced about attraction seems to be spot on. AFCs tend to approach women and try to build comfort right away (what's your name?; Where are you from?; What do you do for fun?; etc). Trying to build comfort without attraction is like trying to build a house on quick sand. Maybe that's not the best metaphor but I can't really think of another one that works better. Guys in the community are taught to make themselves attractive, not only visually but also in all aspects of their lives. Attraction involves opening (approaching) a women, then the guy attracts her to him with storytelling and other attractive things, and the final part is having her show her attraction to him.
4. Comfort
After attraction comes comfort. Done skillfully, this is powerful. It's all about keeping the sexual tension going while allowing her to feel comfortable with being with the guy.
5. Seduction
I think Sinn said it best in his post: "sex is normal and natural." Men want it, women want it; to pretend other wise is a great disservice to ourselves and our society. It feels good to be seduced by someone who knows what he's (or she's) doing.
6. Research
I am mainly interested in this community to do research on a few projects I am working on. The more I research the more fascinated I am with what I am learning. I've come across a few things that are NOT that appealing or come off very misogynistic but no more misogynistic than anything I've heard from AFCs.
7. Happiness
If men and women are hooking up with each other, they are creating happiness together. And if they are truly finding the "guy" or "girl" of their dreams then they are really happy. Happiness is contagious.
8. Love
Anything that brings love into this world can't be all that bad, can it?
9. PUA guys from the community
I've been fortunate enough to come across some amazing men in this community. I'm completely jealous of guys like Sinn, because he gets paid to travel the world to teach men how to meet women. It's beyond cool in my book. I enjoy both newbies and more advanced guys.
Here are some of the PUA blogs that I follow:
The Real Savoy
Sinns of Attraction
Captain Jack's
Thought Magnet
Immaculate Seduction
Modern Savage
10. Stalwart Stud
He's the reason I found out about this community. I don't discuss him much because I prefer my anonymity and I am sure he values his. I really like him. I am really enjoying my time with him. If I hadn't have met him I would have been pick-up and dumped off numerous times by PUA since I've moved to LA. I've never met a man like him before in my life.
And if all the reasons weren't enough I have one more; It's fun. I am having great fun doing this research.
Style Life Challenge, Day 7
Day 7
TASK 1
Download and read the following PDF, collecting a dozen of the Stylelife Openers all of you posted
CHECK
TASK 2
There are two main keys to delivering an opener successfully. My Mystery Method pal Lovedrop shares them with you here:
CHECK
TASK 3
Choose two of your favorite openers from the pdf. If you prefer an opener that you posted but isn't included, you may field-test that as one of your openers.
Then follow these pointers to committing them (and anything else in the future) to memory:
CHECK
TASK 4
Make sure you shower, shave, and feel good before you leave the house today. Play your favorite CD at high volume if necessary. If you purchased anything new on Day 5, put it on.
CHECK. I felt great.
Approach five different women today (in the street, at a café, at a bar, in the mall, in an elevator, wherever) and deliver the openers you memorized.
I didn't actually open any guys with any openers. This is where the challenge is going to get difficult for me. I am dating a guy I REALLY like, we'll call him Stalwart Stan. And although we're NOT exclusive, I find it very difficult to date anyone else. Between school and him, there's not enough time to maintain other sexual relationships (trust me I've tried). Me approaching men at this point is counter productive to the relationship I want with Stalwart Stan. I went out last night and met several interesting and fun men but when it came down to it, NONE of them compared to the Stalwart Stan. I am not sure if I should just quit the challenge altogether or stay on to encourage the guys who are also doing the challenge.
TASK 5
At home tonight, make a list of the approaches you did today.
I am going to journal about this later. I'll probably blog a little about it too....stay tuned.
Download and read the following PDF, collecting a dozen of the Stylelife Openers all of you posted
CHECK
TASK 2
There are two main keys to delivering an opener successfully. My Mystery Method pal Lovedrop shares them with you here:
CHECK
TASK 3
Choose two of your favorite openers from the pdf. If you prefer an opener that you posted but isn't included, you may field-test that as one of your openers.
Then follow these pointers to committing them (and anything else in the future) to memory:
CHECK
TASK 4
Make sure you shower, shave, and feel good before you leave the house today. Play your favorite CD at high volume if necessary. If you purchased anything new on Day 5, put it on.
CHECK. I felt great.
Approach five different women today (in the street, at a café, at a bar, in the mall, in an elevator, wherever) and deliver the openers you memorized.
I didn't actually open any guys with any openers. This is where the challenge is going to get difficult for me. I am dating a guy I REALLY like, we'll call him Stalwart Stan. And although we're NOT exclusive, I find it very difficult to date anyone else. Between school and him, there's not enough time to maintain other sexual relationships (trust me I've tried). Me approaching men at this point is counter productive to the relationship I want with Stalwart Stan. I went out last night and met several interesting and fun men but when it came down to it, NONE of them compared to the Stalwart Stan. I am not sure if I should just quit the challenge altogether or stay on to encourage the guys who are also doing the challenge.
TASK 5
At home tonight, make a list of the approaches you did today.
I am going to journal about this later. I'll probably blog a little about it too....stay tuned.
VDDC: Maybe I can't change the world.
Ok, so this whole thing is much more difficult than I had originally thought. I was hoping to help some guys get dates for Valentine's Day. Call me a sucker but I have a soft spot in my heart for lonely (heartbroken) guys....Hahahaha...I am just not qualified enough to pull off such a great task is such a short amount of time.
Maybe I can work on a program that I can make available for next year's Valentine's Day. I could release it 2/01 and it would be a two-week program. Besides in a year, I'll have much more experience helping guys.
Speaking of which...I got some good experience this weekend. I'll post about that next.
Maybe I can work on a program that I can make available for next year's Valentine's Day. I could release it 2/01 and it would be a two-week program. Besides in a year, I'll have much more experience helping guys.
Speaking of which...I got some good experience this weekend. I'll post about that next.
Friday, February 9, 2007
Style Life Challenge, Day 6
Day 6
TASK 1
Make sure you shower, shave, and feel good before you leave the house today. Play your favorite CD at high volume if necessary. If you purchased any new items yesterday, put them on. Try not to touch yourself.
Over the course of the day, give five women spontaneous compliments about a specific attribute. At least four of these compliments should be given to women who you do not previously know.
Check. I gave out 7 compliments to guys and several to some girls. Yay me!
TASK 2
Read the following pdf on openers:
Check.
TASK 3
Listen to the following conversation I had with Lovedrop, a top Mystery Method instructor. Though the audio is obscured at times by passing cars and planes, the content is worth sharing; it documents the creation of a workable opener on the spot. Something you’ll be doing in Task 3.
Check.
TASK 4
Now generate your own original opener, and post it in the newly added message group titled OPENERS.
Though the pdf discusses all types of openers, we will be focusing on scripted, indirect openers that can work in any situation.
PERFECT TOPIC: VALENTINE'S DAY
PERFECT APPROACH: "Hey guys, I can't stay long but I need a female opinion. My friend just met a great girl and he doesn't know what do for Valentine's Day. Should he spend lots of money and go all out? Or should he play it safe and do something smaller?
AFTER MATH: 1. additional follow-ups: He's worried she may just be with him for Valentine's; should he do a group thing? Or a private thing? Can he be creative without spending a lot of money? Do you think dinner and a movie is a good idea? (the possibilities are endless). Day. 2. What are your plans for V-day?
I haven't field tested this. I was hoping some of you guys could use my V-Day opener this weekend and get yourselves some dates.
TASK 5
Throughout the day, look through the OPENERS message board and give a QUALITY POINT to each of your THREE favorite openers.
WE need a winner's circle thread.
Make sure you shower, shave, and feel good before you leave the house today. Play your favorite CD at high volume if necessary. If you purchased any new items yesterday, put them on. Try not to touch yourself.
Over the course of the day, give five women spontaneous compliments about a specific attribute. At least four of these compliments should be given to women who you do not previously know.
Check. I gave out 7 compliments to guys and several to some girls. Yay me!
TASK 2
Read the following pdf on openers:
Check.
TASK 3
Listen to the following conversation I had with Lovedrop, a top Mystery Method instructor. Though the audio is obscured at times by passing cars and planes, the content is worth sharing; it documents the creation of a workable opener on the spot. Something you’ll be doing in Task 3.
Check.
TASK 4
Now generate your own original opener, and post it in the newly added message group titled OPENERS.
Though the pdf discusses all types of openers, we will be focusing on scripted, indirect openers that can work in any situation.
PERFECT TOPIC: VALENTINE'S DAY
PERFECT APPROACH: "Hey guys, I can't stay long but I need a female opinion. My friend just met a great girl and he doesn't know what do for Valentine's Day. Should he spend lots of money and go all out? Or should he play it safe and do something smaller?
AFTER MATH: 1. additional follow-ups: He's worried she may just be with him for Valentine's; should he do a group thing? Or a private thing? Can he be creative without spending a lot of money? Do you think dinner and a movie is a good idea? (the possibilities are endless). Day. 2. What are your plans for V-day?
I haven't field tested this. I was hoping some of you guys could use my V-Day opener this weekend and get yourselves some dates.
TASK 5
Throughout the day, look through the OPENERS message board and give a QUALITY POINT to each of your THREE favorite openers.
WE need a winner's circle thread.
Lifestyle and how important I think it is
I was reading Sinn's blog and one of his posts (Why some guys never get better) got me thinking (as his posts usually do). A quote from the blog:
"3. Lifestyle. You want to set up your life in a path that women are a part of your lifestyle. You should be going to parties, classes, dinners, plays etc.. You need to actually get a life that a woman wants to be a part of. And have a social life where women are introduced to you. "
I happen to agree that lifestyle is so important. It reminds me of a guy I dated and dumped. Here's the story:
I met this very attractive guy, We'll call him Dead-end Dave. He was hot. He gave me his number and we eventually went on a "date" (a really date, where he paid for dinner and we caught the sunset at the pier).
We had MAD chemistry together. When we kissed my body felt similar to the way I feel after I have had an orgasm/GREAT! I felt this intense energy between us. He felt it too. We eventually had sex and that was amazing also.
But I had to dump him. Because his lifestyle didn't match mine and he lack ambition and drive. Two things that I have in spades at the moment. His lifestyle didn't appeal to me in the least. He had a dead-end job, he mentioned he wanted to pursue a career in electrical something or other and that he was studying to take a test that would allow him to do so. His creative goal in life was he wanted to be a DJ.
During the time I dated him, I think he studied for that test once for a few minutes and spent a lot of time DJing and smoking pot. Now, if you know me, you know I love pot. So I didn't have a problem with that but I do have a problem dating a guy that seems to be going NOWHERE, especially when I feel like a lot of my time and energy goes into advancing myself and my life
Also when I first started dating him he was borrowing a car from a friend, which eventually he had to give back. He was living paycheck to paycheck. Which I can understand because I am in a similar situation myself but I feel like my passion for education is a positive step in the direction of taking care of this.
His apartment was a mess. The cupboard where he kept the garbage was filthy and stank. His refrigrator was in no better condition. His room was a disaster and his bathroom hadn't be properly cleaned in what appeared to be years. I didn't want to spend time at his place and spending time at my place was impossible.
I am NOT a gold digger. I've never dated any guy because of the money he has and I've only really dated one guy who could be considered RICH. But most of the guys I date make more money than me (since I am a full-time student). To date someone who has very little and is doing very little to change that was a deal breaker.
I want a partner. I want someone I can build a life with and create things with. I don't want a guy that's just meandering through life even if it means foregoing great sex and a handsome package.
"3. Lifestyle. You want to set up your life in a path that women are a part of your lifestyle. You should be going to parties, classes, dinners, plays etc.. You need to actually get a life that a woman wants to be a part of. And have a social life where women are introduced to you. "
I happen to agree that lifestyle is so important. It reminds me of a guy I dated and dumped. Here's the story:
I met this very attractive guy, We'll call him Dead-end Dave. He was hot. He gave me his number and we eventually went on a "date" (a really date, where he paid for dinner and we caught the sunset at the pier).
We had MAD chemistry together. When we kissed my body felt similar to the way I feel after I have had an orgasm/GREAT! I felt this intense energy between us. He felt it too. We eventually had sex and that was amazing also.
But I had to dump him. Because his lifestyle didn't match mine and he lack ambition and drive. Two things that I have in spades at the moment. His lifestyle didn't appeal to me in the least. He had a dead-end job, he mentioned he wanted to pursue a career in electrical something or other and that he was studying to take a test that would allow him to do so. His creative goal in life was he wanted to be a DJ.
During the time I dated him, I think he studied for that test once for a few minutes and spent a lot of time DJing and smoking pot. Now, if you know me, you know I love pot. So I didn't have a problem with that but I do have a problem dating a guy that seems to be going NOWHERE, especially when I feel like a lot of my time and energy goes into advancing myself and my life
Also when I first started dating him he was borrowing a car from a friend, which eventually he had to give back. He was living paycheck to paycheck. Which I can understand because I am in a similar situation myself but I feel like my passion for education is a positive step in the direction of taking care of this.
His apartment was a mess. The cupboard where he kept the garbage was filthy and stank. His refrigrator was in no better condition. His room was a disaster and his bathroom hadn't be properly cleaned in what appeared to be years. I didn't want to spend time at his place and spending time at my place was impossible.
I am NOT a gold digger. I've never dated any guy because of the money he has and I've only really dated one guy who could be considered RICH. But most of the guys I date make more money than me (since I am a full-time student). To date someone who has very little and is doing very little to change that was a deal breaker.
I want a partner. I want someone I can build a life with and create things with. I don't want a guy that's just meandering through life even if it means foregoing great sex and a handsome package.
Mini Field Report: Scarface EXPANDED
On Day 4, I asked one of my classmates (someone I've never actually talked to) to give me recommendations on clothing stores. We're going to call him Scarface, based off of a mental strategy he eventually told me about.
He was sitting next to me (for the first time). He had tons of male clothing store recommendation and he ask asked me to study on Thursday for a midterm with him. He was the Black Haired student with dark eyes from Day4 post.
One of the first things he asked me after we started studying is where I got my confidence. I told him that I had been working on self improvement for the last several months and that I was taking a challenge.
I told him that as far as academic confidence, I didn't really care how I looked to the other students in the class. I explained to him that I am paying a lot of money to get an education at one the best universities in the world and I wasn't going to let a little peer pressure or embarrassment stop me from participating in class.
I told him that I asked for clothing store recommendation as part of the challenge. He seemed very interested. So, I told him about the StyleLife Challenge and about my paper project that has to do with the Seduction community.
Scareface said he was going to ask me to study anyways, even if I had talked to him. He went on to tell me that he has been working on self improvement too and he prided himself on being a flirt. Before long, I realized he was a NATURAL.
This was a treat for me. I don't think I've ever met a natural before or at least I've never gotten into an in depth conversation with a natural about how he operates.
Listening to him tell me about his strategies, I could classify what he was telling based on my knowledge of the seduction community. He has created his own opener. Which demonstrated for me. He also uses Kino very effectively. As he told me about the three girls he "closed" this week and the three girls he "closed" the previous week. I could see that he had figure out a lot of the PUA stuff by simply observing normal and natural behaviors in women.
He figured out for him self important concepts like social proof. He wanted to invite me to parties. Because he understood the importance of bring a blond with him to social events. He knew that all the men at the parties would envy him for having a beautiful blond with him and he knew that all the women would want to be with him because he brought me.
He had seen the "Secret" and know the importance of positive thinking and has implemented the theory into practice in all aspects of his life.
He told me stories about the current girl he is interested in and how he got her to basically beg him to make out with her.
I couldn't help but think that if this guy was to gain the knowledge of the community he'd be a major player and I kept thinking that this is the kind of student Sinn would have a field day with (based on one of Sinn's recent posts).
We exchanged ideas and stories. I look forward to seeing Scarface in action.
He was sitting next to me (for the first time). He had tons of male clothing store recommendation and he ask asked me to study on Thursday for a midterm with him. He was the Black Haired student with dark eyes from Day4 post.
One of the first things he asked me after we started studying is where I got my confidence. I told him that I had been working on self improvement for the last several months and that I was taking a challenge.
I told him that as far as academic confidence, I didn't really care how I looked to the other students in the class. I explained to him that I am paying a lot of money to get an education at one the best universities in the world and I wasn't going to let a little peer pressure or embarrassment stop me from participating in class.
I told him that I asked for clothing store recommendation as part of the challenge. He seemed very interested. So, I told him about the StyleLife Challenge and about my paper project that has to do with the Seduction community.
Scareface said he was going to ask me to study anyways, even if I had talked to him. He went on to tell me that he has been working on self improvement too and he prided himself on being a flirt. Before long, I realized he was a NATURAL.
This was a treat for me. I don't think I've ever met a natural before or at least I've never gotten into an in depth conversation with a natural about how he operates.
Listening to him tell me about his strategies, I could classify what he was telling based on my knowledge of the seduction community. He has created his own opener. Which demonstrated for me. He also uses Kino very effectively. As he told me about the three girls he "closed" this week and the three girls he "closed" the previous week. I could see that he had figure out a lot of the PUA stuff by simply observing normal and natural behaviors in women.
He figured out for him self important concepts like social proof. He wanted to invite me to parties. Because he understood the importance of bring a blond with him to social events. He knew that all the men at the parties would envy him for having a beautiful blond with him and he knew that all the women would want to be with him because he brought me.
He had seen the "Secret" and know the importance of positive thinking and has implemented the theory into practice in all aspects of his life.
He told me stories about the current girl he is interested in and how he got her to basically beg him to make out with her.
I couldn't help but think that if this guy was to gain the knowledge of the community he'd be a major player and I kept thinking that this is the kind of student Sinn would have a field day with (based on one of Sinn's recent posts).
We exchanged ideas and stories. I look forward to seeing Scarface in action.
Style Life Challenge, Day 5
Day 5
Task 1
Read the PDF on looks, grooming and pickup.
Check. I wholeheartedly agree with EVERYTHING on that list and I am a female, so you should do your best to accomplish this.
Task 2
Post a photo of yourself an take notes on the feed back.
I prefer NOT to post a photo.
Task 3
Get a free style consultation.
I was at school all day. I don't really think I need a style consultation and I can't afford any new clothes right now.
Task 1
Read the PDF on looks, grooming and pickup.
Check. I wholeheartedly agree with EVERYTHING on that list and I am a female, so you should do your best to accomplish this.
Task 2
Post a photo of yourself an take notes on the feed back.
I prefer NOT to post a photo.
Task 3
Get a free style consultation.
I was at school all day. I don't really think I need a style consultation and I can't afford any new clothes right now.
Guilty Pleasures: Mary Jane
Whatever name you want to call it, I love herb. PERIOD. I prefer not to smoke it but it's a little difficult to get it in other forms. I love eating it especially. I partake in it several times daily when it doesn't interfere with my education and ambitions.
I just smoked my last bowl yesterday and now I am completely out. Due to uncontrollable circumstances I am unable to purchase any until I get paid again. Unfortunately, I've been having some trouble with receiving my money and I am not sure when the situation is going to get solved, so I am a little bummed that I have go without it for sometime...Oh well, such is life. I am looking forward to greener times.
I'll write more when I have time.
I just smoked my last bowl yesterday and now I am completely out. Due to uncontrollable circumstances I am unable to purchase any until I get paid again. Unfortunately, I've been having some trouble with receiving my money and I am not sure when the situation is going to get solved, so I am a little bummed that I have go without it for sometime...Oh well, such is life. I am looking forward to greener times.
I'll write more when I have time.
VDDC: Clean yourself up & Dress well.
How you appear is important. Girls spend a lot of time on their "looks" and they notice when guys put in the effort. By doing something extra, you automatically make yourself more appealing to women. If you're doing the stylelife challenge this is nothing new to you cause Day 5 is all about your looks. If you're not doing the stylelife challenge, look online for help or ask reliable people. There are NO EXCUSES!
When you go shopping or going out to get groomed watch your body language and your attitude. Keep your head up and make eye contact with EVERYONE and smile. Girls love to give their opinions so ask them what they think. Make small talk with everyone. and keep it POSITIVE. If the conversation turns negative do your best to spin it back to the positive. You may meet your V-Day date while you're shopping or getting groomed.
Get help. Find a friend (male or female) to help you. Explain what you want to accomplish and have them support you through the next week.
If you're a person who has a lot of negative-self talk (I suck, this sucks, That was awful, etc). Do yourself a favor and replace every negative thought with a positive one. Enlist your friends to help you stay positive. Positive thoughts bring positive things. Here are some positive things to tell yourself:
~I am so happy.
~I am so grateful.
~I am powerful.
~I am loved.
~I am charming.
~I am unique.
~I am a delight to talk to.
~I am deserving.
Repeat these phrases or make your own and repeat them to yourself throughout your day. Any time your mind starts wondering, remember to say something positive to yourself. Look online for more positive affirmations. Your mind is a power tool, if you're not using it to its potential you're missing out on its benefits.
Take this last weekend before Valentine's Day to your advantage.
GET GROOMED:
If you have no extra money (like me) than look online for free or non-expensive ways to groom yourself. (home-made skin treatments, hair styles suggestion, fashion tips, etc) THIS IMPORTANT.
Things to keep in mind:
~You should bath daily (especially all the days leading up to V-Day) No excuses...be clean
~Treat your skin well. If you start now your skin could be glowing by V-Day
~ Consider shaving or removing all excess hair, girls will appreciate this (back, neck, eyebrow, ear, nose, etc).
~ Don't be sweaty...it's gross. Seriously do what you have to avoid sweat stains. Yuck.
~Finger nails and toes nails should be trimmed. Trust me she'll appreciate it.
~Find a good smelling cologne or other product (Cuban smells great)
~It doesn't matter how well you look if your breath stinks. Do something about it.
~You're feet shouldn't stink.
~Get a haircut if you haven't in the last 6 weeks. Consider a new hairstyle. Pay as much as you can afford and take your time.
GET FASHIONABLE:
Go in your closet and find 3 outfits that fit you well and convey a sense of fashion. If you do NOT have three outfits that fit well go shopping. If you don't have a lot of money to go shopping, go to a trendy thrift store. If you're buying clothes. Buy clothes you can mix and match, you'll get more uses/looks out of them.
Find or buy ONE really killer outfit for V-day. And then have two alternatives to wear leading up to V-Day. You're V-day outfit should be smoking.
The shoulder seams on your shirts should lay just at the top of your shoulder. If your shoulder seams lie over your shoulder, on your arm, your shirt DOES NOT FIT and girls can tell.
check out this link:
If you're buying clothes. Buy clothes you can mix and match, you'll get more uses/looks out of them.
When you go shopping or going out to get groomed watch your body language and your attitude. Keep your head up and make eye contact with EVERYONE and smile. Girls love to give their opinions so ask them what they think. Make small talk with everyone. and keep it POSITIVE. If the conversation turns negative do your best to spin it back to the positive. You may meet your V-Day date while you're shopping or getting groomed.
Get help. Find a friend (male or female) to help you. Explain what you want to accomplish and have them support you through the next week.
If you're a person who has a lot of negative-self talk (I suck, this sucks, That was awful, etc). Do yourself a favor and replace every negative thought with a positive one. Enlist your friends to help you stay positive. Positive thoughts bring positive things. Here are some positive things to tell yourself:
~I am so happy.
~I am so grateful.
~I am powerful.
~I am loved.
~I am charming.
~I am unique.
~I am a delight to talk to.
~I am deserving.
Repeat these phrases or make your own and repeat them to yourself throughout your day. Any time your mind starts wondering, remember to say something positive to yourself. Look online for more positive affirmations. Your mind is a power tool, if you're not using it to its potential you're missing out on its benefits.
Take this last weekend before Valentine's Day to your advantage.
GET GROOMED:
If you have no extra money (like me) than look online for free or non-expensive ways to groom yourself. (home-made skin treatments, hair styles suggestion, fashion tips, etc) THIS IMPORTANT.
Things to keep in mind:
~You should bath daily (especially all the days leading up to V-Day) No excuses...be clean
~Treat your skin well. If you start now your skin could be glowing by V-Day
~ Consider shaving or removing all excess hair, girls will appreciate this (back, neck, eyebrow, ear, nose, etc).
~ Don't be sweaty...it's gross. Seriously do what you have to avoid sweat stains. Yuck.
~Finger nails and toes nails should be trimmed. Trust me she'll appreciate it.
~Find a good smelling cologne or other product (Cuban smells great)
~It doesn't matter how well you look if your breath stinks. Do something about it.
~You're feet shouldn't stink.
~Get a haircut if you haven't in the last 6 weeks. Consider a new hairstyle. Pay as much as you can afford and take your time.
GET FASHIONABLE:
Go in your closet and find 3 outfits that fit you well and convey a sense of fashion. If you do NOT have three outfits that fit well go shopping. If you don't have a lot of money to go shopping, go to a trendy thrift store. If you're buying clothes. Buy clothes you can mix and match, you'll get more uses/looks out of them.
Find or buy ONE really killer outfit for V-day. And then have two alternatives to wear leading up to V-Day. You're V-day outfit should be smoking.
The shoulder seams on your shirts should lay just at the top of your shoulder. If your shoulder seams lie over your shoulder, on your arm, your shirt DOES NOT FIT and girls can tell.
check out this link:
If you're buying clothes. Buy clothes you can mix and match, you'll get more uses/looks out of them.
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Operation VDDC, Style Life Challenge Day 5 & Mini-Field report
Valentine's Day Date Challenge: Visualization
Ok, so you want a Valentine's day date, right? Do this little visualization exercise and the holiday you should imagine is V-Day.
Where are you? Who are you with? What are you doing? How do you feel? Picture it the way that would make you the most happiest. And remember your happiness is within your control and you just have to take control.
Read Captain Jack's Blog:
http://captainjackpua.blogspot.com/2007
/02/innergame-whos-in-picture.html
Once you see a girl you're interested in DO NOT HIT ON HER RIGHT AWAY:
Check out Tenmagnet's blog:
http://blog.tenmagnet.com/2007/
01/dont-hit-on-her-right-away.html
=====================================================================
Style Life Challenge Day 5.
I'll have to post this info later....I am exhausted and have to get up early to take a midterm tomorrow. I've had internet problems and I am unable to take the time & energy it requires to post this info now. Stay tuned.
====================================================================
Mini-Field report: Scarface
So, it turns out that the guy with black hair & dark brown eyes from yesterday (the one who gave me several clothing store recommendations and asked me to study with him) IS A NATURAL.
We were studying tonight and we got on the conversation and I told him about the PUA community and he told me how he picksup women. He hasn't read any books, done any research, or anything like that.
But he has figured out a lot of stuff on his own through observation and practice. This kid amazes me. Everything he told me, I ended up telling him what he's learned on his own about women is powerful and that there is a community of men out there teaching each other how to harness the knowledge that he's gaining.
This kid is a killa, and we're going to call him, Scarface. Stay tuned for more adventures with Scarface and the cast of fascinating characters that some how find their ways into my life.
Ok, so you want a Valentine's day date, right? Do this little visualization exercise and the holiday you should imagine is V-Day.
Where are you? Who are you with? What are you doing? How do you feel? Picture it the way that would make you the most happiest. And remember your happiness is within your control and you just have to take control.
Read Captain Jack's Blog:
http://captainjackpua.blogspot.com/2007
/02/innergame-whos-in-picture.html
Once you see a girl you're interested in DO NOT HIT ON HER RIGHT AWAY:
Check out Tenmagnet's blog:
http://blog.tenmagnet.com/2007/
01/dont-hit-on-her-right-away.html
=====================================================================
Style Life Challenge Day 5.
I'll have to post this info later....I am exhausted and have to get up early to take a midterm tomorrow. I've had internet problems and I am unable to take the time & energy it requires to post this info now. Stay tuned.
====================================================================
Mini-Field report: Scarface
So, it turns out that the guy with black hair & dark brown eyes from yesterday (the one who gave me several clothing store recommendations and asked me to study with him) IS A NATURAL.
We were studying tonight and we got on the conversation and I told him about the PUA community and he told me how he picksup women. He hasn't read any books, done any research, or anything like that.
But he has figured out a lot of stuff on his own through observation and practice. This kid amazes me. Everything he told me, I ended up telling him what he's learned on his own about women is powerful and that there is a community of men out there teaching each other how to harness the knowledge that he's gaining.
This kid is a killa, and we're going to call him, Scarface. Stay tuned for more adventures with Scarface and the cast of fascinating characters that some how find their ways into my life.
Operation VDDC (Valentine's Day Date Challenge)
Please forward this message to anyone who does NOT have a date for Valentine's Day.
This is going to be HUGE, some of you people may have babies (someday) because of this!
Operation Valentine's Day Day Challenge (Valentine's Day Date Challenge).
Anyone who knows me know that one of my life goals is to change the world for the better. And anyone who knows me also knows that I spend my time daydreaming about changing the world for the better. I am always coming up with quirky ways to save the world from evil doom and destruction and often in these theatrical viewings in my head my weapons of choice are always LOVE and HAPPINESS. Pretty cliche, huh? But lets face it. We all want love and Happiness in one form or another.
Well, I've done it again. I've come up with a brilliant plan to get you a date for Valentine's Day (if you don't already have one).
Unfortunately, I have to go to class right now. And I don't have time to type up my idea. But here's the synopis:
Come up with a user-friendly, comprehensive-strategy guide to help you find a date for Valentine's Day.
The only way this is going to work is if we work together and we SPREAD the word. Do NOT be selfish. Selfish people spend a lot of time alone. For this to work we have to come together and help each other succeed.
Look if you're a guy without a date on Valentine's Day, take this in to consideration; There are more women than men in this world. If you forward this message to your buddy who also doesn't have a date on Valentine's Day, the likelihood of you finding dates us higher if you do this together. And if you don't do this together, you should still forward this to other guys because there are plenty of quality women to go around.
If your a girl, take this into consideration. You get to choice amongst the best men available to you. Help your girlfriends out by supporting each other through this. Pass the word along. There will be guy vying for your attention.
When I am done with class I'll add to this post or create a new post in the mean time PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE
Best wishes in Love & Happiness,
Ana Renee Jones
P.S.
Make sure to send them to my Blog:
http://anareneejones.blogspot.com/
This is going to be HUGE, some of you people may have babies (someday) because of this!
Operation Valentine's Day Day Challenge (Valentine's Day Date Challenge).
Anyone who knows me know that one of my life goals is to change the world for the better. And anyone who knows me also knows that I spend my time daydreaming about changing the world for the better. I am always coming up with quirky ways to save the world from evil doom and destruction and often in these theatrical viewings in my head my weapons of choice are always LOVE and HAPPINESS. Pretty cliche, huh? But lets face it. We all want love and Happiness in one form or another.
Well, I've done it again. I've come up with a brilliant plan to get you a date for Valentine's Day (if you don't already have one).
Unfortunately, I have to go to class right now. And I don't have time to type up my idea. But here's the synopis:
Come up with a user-friendly, comprehensive-strategy guide to help you find a date for Valentine's Day.
The only way this is going to work is if we work together and we SPREAD the word. Do NOT be selfish. Selfish people spend a lot of time alone. For this to work we have to come together and help each other succeed.
Look if you're a guy without a date on Valentine's Day, take this in to consideration; There are more women than men in this world. If you forward this message to your buddy who also doesn't have a date on Valentine's Day, the likelihood of you finding dates us higher if you do this together. And if you don't do this together, you should still forward this to other guys because there are plenty of quality women to go around.
If your a girl, take this into consideration. You get to choice amongst the best men available to you. Help your girlfriends out by supporting each other through this. Pass the word along. There will be guy vying for your attention.
When I am done with class I'll add to this post or create a new post in the mean time PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE
Best wishes in Love & Happiness,
Ana Renee Jones
P.S.
Make sure to send them to my Blog:
http://anareneejones.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Day 4: Style Life Challenge
Day 4
NOTE: Today is one of the more critical days of the Stylelife Challenge. Make sure you listen to your special mission given in Task #3 below. If you are going to be at hoiday events all day, it is still possible to complete this mission -- as long as you are interacting with people who you didn't previously know.
TASK 1
If you masturbate, do not masturbate today.
~I hope this task doesn't appear repeatedly or regularly..this isn't what I signed up for.
TASK 2
wake up, CHECK
shower, CHECK
shampoo, CHECK
soap thoroughly, CHECK.
Wash twice if you want. DOUBLE CHECK
Put something scented on your body
– Sorry, no can do. My skin is reacting to winter & I need to avoid all scents. PERIOD.
Then shave your face clean. Make sure you shave or tweeze any stray places where you have hair – the back of your neck, your ears, your nostrils.
~I removed plenty of access hair. And dyed my eye browns darker.
Put on some clean, well-fitting clothing. And feel like a million dollars.
~TRIPLE CHECK. I FELT HOT!
Look at yourself in the mirror and read the following: You are a god. People love you. You glow and radiate charisma and charm. You stand out from everyone else around you. Talking to you is a privilege. You deserve the best the world has to offer. It’s all there out there, waiting for YOU to take it. CHECK
Now, say the following out loud, with conviction: I am a god. People love me. I glow and radiate charisma and charm. I stand out from everyone else around me. Talking to me is a privilege. I deserve the best the world has to offer. It’s all out there, waiting for ME to take it. CHECK
Repeat it once more time, or as many times as it takes, until you really FEEL and EMBODY it.
~I repeated this throughout the day. I had it written on a small card and evidentially memorized the whole thing. And I have to honestly say that this is the exact reason why I am doing this challenge. The above statement is extremely powerful in endless many ways; it blows my mind. People who can say that statement to themselves throughout their days and believe it, will truly improve their lives. I have no doubt in my mind. I did make one small alteration and my first sentence is: "I am a Goddess"; I hope nobody minds.
There you go.
TASK 3
Today, you have a special mission. It is best to perform this mission as soon as you are shaved, showered, clean, and feeling good. You can find out what it is here:
~This was so awesome too. I finished this task by noon and all but one guy had a suggestion for a men's clothing store, and one guy gave me several recommendations and I got a study buddy out of it too.
Brown hair, Brown eyes:
~Sometime before 10am, Guy at copier, asked over my shoulder. Urban Outfitters on Westwood.
Black Hair, Dark eyes:
~Just before 10am, guy sitting behind me in class. Asked over the shoulder. He didn't have a recommendation.
Black hair, brown eyes:
~10am, guy sitting next to me in class. He gave me 3 recommendations. And he asked me to study with him for the midterm.
Brown hair, blue eyes (yum):
~Just before noon. Guy walking towards me on campus, 3rd street promenade.
Asia Black hair, brown eyes:
~Noon, guy wearing a tie. I asked him wear I could buy a tie; he said Ross. I asked him where that was; he said westwood.
TASK 4 (OPTIONAL)
If you haven’t yet posted your photo in the Style Critique section of the board, do so today.
~I am not going to post a photo; I value my anonymity.
TASK 5
Go to the Style Critique section of the board. Offer constructive criticism to those who have posted photos. CHECK
TASK 6 (OPTIONAL)
Choose one of the following to experience again: The mind-shaping CD, the posture videos, or the voice exercises. This is recommended every day during the Challenge.
~Ummm...ok, later.
TASK 1
If you masturbate, do not masturbate today.
~I hope this task doesn't appear repeatedly or regularly..this isn't what I signed up for.
TASK 2
wake up, CHECK
shower, CHECK
shampoo, CHECK
soap thoroughly, CHECK.
Wash twice if you want. DOUBLE CHECK
Put something scented on your body
– Sorry, no can do. My skin is reacting to winter & I need to avoid all scents. PERIOD.
Then shave your face clean. Make sure you shave or tweeze any stray places where you have hair – the back of your neck, your ears, your nostrils.
~I removed plenty of access hair. And dyed my eye browns darker.
Put on some clean, well-fitting clothing. And feel like a million dollars.
~TRIPLE CHECK. I FELT HOT!
Look at yourself in the mirror and read the following: You are a god. People love you. You glow and radiate charisma and charm. You stand out from everyone else around you. Talking to you is a privilege. You deserve the best the world has to offer. It’s all there out there, waiting for YOU to take it. CHECK
Now, say the following out loud, with conviction: I am a god. People love me. I glow and radiate charisma and charm. I stand out from everyone else around me. Talking to me is a privilege. I deserve the best the world has to offer. It’s all out there, waiting for ME to take it. CHECK
Repeat it once more time, or as many times as it takes, until you really FEEL and EMBODY it.
~I repeated this throughout the day. I had it written on a small card and evidentially memorized the whole thing. And I have to honestly say that this is the exact reason why I am doing this challenge. The above statement is extremely powerful in endless many ways; it blows my mind. People who can say that statement to themselves throughout their days and believe it, will truly improve their lives. I have no doubt in my mind. I did make one small alteration and my first sentence is: "I am a Goddess"; I hope nobody minds.
There you go.
TASK 3
Today, you have a special mission. It is best to perform this mission as soon as you are shaved, showered, clean, and feeling good. You can find out what it is here:
~This was so awesome too. I finished this task by noon and all but one guy had a suggestion for a men's clothing store, and one guy gave me several recommendations and I got a study buddy out of it too.
Brown hair, Brown eyes:
~Sometime before 10am, Guy at copier, asked over my shoulder. Urban Outfitters on Westwood.
Black Hair, Dark eyes:
~Just before 10am, guy sitting behind me in class. Asked over the shoulder. He didn't have a recommendation.
Black hair, brown eyes:
~10am, guy sitting next to me in class. He gave me 3 recommendations. And he asked me to study with him for the midterm.
Brown hair, blue eyes (yum):
~Just before noon. Guy walking towards me on campus, 3rd street promenade.
Asia Black hair, brown eyes:
~Noon, guy wearing a tie. I asked him wear I could buy a tie; he said Ross. I asked him where that was; he said westwood.
TASK 4 (OPTIONAL)
If you haven’t yet posted your photo in the Style Critique section of the board, do so today.
~I am not going to post a photo; I value my anonymity.
TASK 5
Go to the Style Critique section of the board. Offer constructive criticism to those who have posted photos. CHECK
TASK 6 (OPTIONAL)
Choose one of the following to experience again: The mind-shaping CD, the posture videos, or the voice exercises. This is recommended every day during the Challenge.
~Ummm...ok, later.
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Day 3 Stylelife Challenge: Music & Lyrics
Day 3
TASK 1
Do not shower today.
I had to shower today. And it's a good thing I did because I ended up seeing two doctors today. Or better stated, two doctors ended up seeing me (naked) today. And let me just say, it's a good thing I showered. But I didn't wear make-up or put any product in my hair. And I even wear my glasses (which do nothing for my posture).
TASK 2
Do not shave today.
[SPOILER: I know it’s uncomfortable in July, but that’s the point. You’re going to be allowed to shower and shave tomorrow – so try to wait till then!]
I didn't remove a single hair, anywhere. Well, I may have pulled one tiny-little hair off of my chin but I didn't use tweezers and it was a very difficult task. And I am sure no one would have notice either way. Unless of course they saw me pull it out. But that just TMI....Lets move on to the Next task should we?....
TASK 3
Follow the vocal exercises recommended below to work on projecting your voice, speaking with confidence, and modulating your tone.
I listened to the audio and read the paper but I didn't actually have time to practice and I don't have a recorder or a mic. I should have practice something vocal today but I didn't, instead I smoked.
TASK 4
Dial a local number randomly on your telephone. When someone answers, try to get him or her to recommend a good movie to watch.
I didn't actually do this one either (the score is Ana:0; Tasks:4). I did actually make small talk about movie recommendations and talked about Music & Lyrics and Drew Berrymore with 4 girls at school. I didn't catch their eye color though.
TASK 5
Listen to the mind-shaping audio before going to sleep.
I listened to that thing non-stop from last night until I listened to the audio on improving speech/voice. I'll play it one more time but I am not going to let it play all night, like I have for the last 2 nights. If it's going to sink into my subconscious mind, it would have already sunk in. And I do think it has help a bit though.
I didn't do the posture exercise either. And I didn't really pay much attention to my posture today either.
But I did make some small talk. I could have made more but I was focusing on my school work after I was finished at the doctors office.
I asked for movie recommendations and also asked favorite Drew Berrymore movie. It was fun.
===================================================================
Music & Lyrics
I got to see the romantic comedy Music & Lyrics at school for free tonight. It was a good break from my studyin and it was free and it had Drew Berrymore in it. And I saw it a week before it opens. And I won a free movie poster for answering a trivia question.
"Which 80's pop star played the superbowl?"
"Prince" I shouted after the MC called on me. It was sorta cool because I didn't actually watch the superbowl; I was busy helping Dr. Yes shop on Melrose but we did happen to stop in at a new pub for some awesome Burgers and sweet-mashed potatoes...YUM...and the superbowl was on and I saw Prince.
I ended up asking a group of girls where the line was to get in & they informed me that tickets needed to be had to get in. Unless there was any room for standby...ha...as if it were an airplane flight. Anyhoo, I ran into the girls again and then one of them came to track me down to offer me an extra ticket...that was cool.
The movie was quaint & contrived, in the typical hollywood romantic comedy way but again I didn't really mind since I have a special interest in romantic comedies (If you didn't notice, I am a female).
Do not shower today.
I had to shower today. And it's a good thing I did because I ended up seeing two doctors today. Or better stated, two doctors ended up seeing me (naked) today. And let me just say, it's a good thing I showered. But I didn't wear make-up or put any product in my hair. And I even wear my glasses (which do nothing for my posture).
TASK 2
Do not shave today.
[SPOILER: I know it’s uncomfortable in July, but that’s the point. You’re going to be allowed to shower and shave tomorrow – so try to wait till then!]
I didn't remove a single hair, anywhere. Well, I may have pulled one tiny-little hair off of my chin but I didn't use tweezers and it was a very difficult task. And I am sure no one would have notice either way. Unless of course they saw me pull it out. But that just TMI....Lets move on to the Next task should we?....
TASK 3
Follow the vocal exercises recommended below to work on projecting your voice, speaking with confidence, and modulating your tone.
I listened to the audio and read the paper but I didn't actually have time to practice and I don't have a recorder or a mic. I should have practice something vocal today but I didn't, instead I smoked.
TASK 4
Dial a local number randomly on your telephone. When someone answers, try to get him or her to recommend a good movie to watch.
I didn't actually do this one either (the score is Ana:0; Tasks:4). I did actually make small talk about movie recommendations and talked about Music & Lyrics and Drew Berrymore with 4 girls at school. I didn't catch their eye color though.
TASK 5
Listen to the mind-shaping audio before going to sleep.
I listened to that thing non-stop from last night until I listened to the audio on improving speech/voice. I'll play it one more time but I am not going to let it play all night, like I have for the last 2 nights. If it's going to sink into my subconscious mind, it would have already sunk in. And I do think it has help a bit though.
I didn't do the posture exercise either. And I didn't really pay much attention to my posture today either.
But I did make some small talk. I could have made more but I was focusing on my school work after I was finished at the doctors office.
I asked for movie recommendations and also asked favorite Drew Berrymore movie. It was fun.
===================================================================
Music & Lyrics
I got to see the romantic comedy Music & Lyrics at school for free tonight. It was a good break from my studyin and it was free and it had Drew Berrymore in it. And I saw it a week before it opens. And I won a free movie poster for answering a trivia question.
"Which 80's pop star played the superbowl?"
"Prince" I shouted after the MC called on me. It was sorta cool because I didn't actually watch the superbowl; I was busy helping Dr. Yes shop on Melrose but we did happen to stop in at a new pub for some awesome Burgers and sweet-mashed potatoes...YUM...and the superbowl was on and I saw Prince.
I ended up asking a group of girls where the line was to get in & they informed me that tickets needed to be had to get in. Unless there was any room for standby...ha...as if it were an airplane flight. Anyhoo, I ran into the girls again and then one of them came to track me down to offer me an extra ticket...that was cool.
The movie was quaint & contrived, in the typical hollywood romantic comedy way but again I didn't really mind since I have a special interest in romantic comedies (If you didn't notice, I am a female).
Monday, February 5, 2007
Paper update
I spoke with my professor today after class and I told him I didn't think simulating examples in a survey was going to garner truthful results from females. He agreed.
So, we basically talked about paralleling what we've learned in class to the seduction community. This should be very time consuming but interesting.
I like Matt Savage's idea about role models but that's NOT going to be the focus of my paper.
I still have the option of doing a survey but I still don't know what to ask.
I'll write more later...for now I am tired and it's in the middle of midterms, so my brain is fried.
So, we basically talked about paralleling what we've learned in class to the seduction community. This should be very time consuming but interesting.
I like Matt Savage's idea about role models but that's NOT going to be the focus of my paper.
I still have the option of doing a survey but I still don't know what to ask.
I'll write more later...for now I am tired and it's in the middle of midterms, so my brain is fried.
StyleLife Challenge Day 2
Task 1
In all honesty there is no way I am going to be able to NOT shower for multiple days. I know this may seem like some lame-girl thing...but in all honesty for health reasons I need to shower at least every 2 days. I have a skin problem and it gets really bad during the winter and I need to wash my skin. PERIOD. Call me lame. I could go without make-up...maybe that is a female equivalent to the male's not showering. I love make-up so it will be a stretch for me...and it will be good to see how people respond to me with out make-up.
Task 2
Ummm...I didn't remove any hair...I usually save my armpits and remove excess hair from my upper lip, brow line, and chin...I guess I can forgo that for this experiment.
Task 3
I printed the mission list and started to fill it out...It felt corny or superficial. I wish there were some questions to help me get a little deeper.
Task 4
I listened to the tape last night. I actually let it play in the background has I was doing other stuff. Then right before bed I actually listened to it and did what it was saying. I let it keep playing all night while I was sleeping. I was hoping it would soak into my unconscious. I keep letting it play while I was getting ready in the morning...I'll listen to it again, just before bed and let it play all night.
Task 5
I watch the posture video. I thought it was a bit weird. But I laid on the floor with my head on a book for 15 minutes. I really paid attention to my posture all day. I noticed that I normally walk around with my chin down. Today I walked around with my chin parallel with the ground. It felt weird because I had to look down with my eyes. I don't know if this makes sense but I know I looked much more confident today. But my back hurt like hell. Maybe I am not doing it properly. I'll rewatch the video again.
Task 6
I realized that my small talk yesterday didn't actually count because I was asking for restaurant recommendations, etc. I made small talk with several people today.
1) An Asian girl in the bathroom (at the sink), she had brown eyes and we talked about make-up (I love make-up).
2) I talked to a blonde girl with blue eyes in my class. It's a big class and I've never talked to her before. We talked about the weather (I said the groundhog must have seen his shadow because it's hot in California). We also talked about the report that is due in class.
3) Short Latin girl walking with brown eyes. I asked if she was studying for midterms. She was.
4) Asian girl at copy machine (very dark brown eyes) I was talking about the air conditioner.
5) Old lady on the bus with hazel brown/green eyes. This was the highlight of my day. We talked until she had to get off the bus...we talked about a lot of stuff: school, writing, weather, her family, etc.
I talked to a bunch of other people but it wasnt "small" talk. Like I asked to pet a man's dog, I asked people questions, etc.
I got yelled at by a man in an elevator. He was outside the elevator and he kept pushing the button...which stopped the elevator from going anywhere. I told him "the elevator will go up if you stop pushing the button". He was highly offended by me and told me "You can hold the elevator" Then he asked me where my PhD was. I told him I was an undergrad. He was extremely hostile towards me. I tried to defuse it with being kind. I told him I didn't mean to be rude. He said I was. I said I didn't mean to. He said "You should say excuse me." I said "excuse me". He said "you're excused". I said "Thank you, have a nice day". It was really weird.
P.S.
I got a call from a friend who is a newbie, I call him Yakuza. He said he was sarging alone at Barnes&Noble and he was striking out. After I listened to him. I tried to give him some advice that I hope will help. I told him to use false-time restraints and to listen to the mindmapping auto to erase the bad experience from his mind. I hope that helped him.
In all honesty there is no way I am going to be able to NOT shower for multiple days. I know this may seem like some lame-girl thing...but in all honesty for health reasons I need to shower at least every 2 days. I have a skin problem and it gets really bad during the winter and I need to wash my skin. PERIOD. Call me lame. I could go without make-up...maybe that is a female equivalent to the male's not showering. I love make-up so it will be a stretch for me...and it will be good to see how people respond to me with out make-up.
Task 2
Ummm...I didn't remove any hair...I usually save my armpits and remove excess hair from my upper lip, brow line, and chin...I guess I can forgo that for this experiment.
Task 3
I printed the mission list and started to fill it out...It felt corny or superficial. I wish there were some questions to help me get a little deeper.
Task 4
I listened to the tape last night. I actually let it play in the background has I was doing other stuff. Then right before bed I actually listened to it and did what it was saying. I let it keep playing all night while I was sleeping. I was hoping it would soak into my unconscious. I keep letting it play while I was getting ready in the morning...I'll listen to it again, just before bed and let it play all night.
Task 5
I watch the posture video. I thought it was a bit weird. But I laid on the floor with my head on a book for 15 minutes. I really paid attention to my posture all day. I noticed that I normally walk around with my chin down. Today I walked around with my chin parallel with the ground. It felt weird because I had to look down with my eyes. I don't know if this makes sense but I know I looked much more confident today. But my back hurt like hell. Maybe I am not doing it properly. I'll rewatch the video again.
Task 6
I realized that my small talk yesterday didn't actually count because I was asking for restaurant recommendations, etc. I made small talk with several people today.
1) An Asian girl in the bathroom (at the sink), she had brown eyes and we talked about make-up (I love make-up).
2) I talked to a blonde girl with blue eyes in my class. It's a big class and I've never talked to her before. We talked about the weather (I said the groundhog must have seen his shadow because it's hot in California). We also talked about the report that is due in class.
3) Short Latin girl walking with brown eyes. I asked if she was studying for midterms. She was.
4) Asian girl at copy machine (very dark brown eyes) I was talking about the air conditioner.
5) Old lady on the bus with hazel brown/green eyes. This was the highlight of my day. We talked until she had to get off the bus...we talked about a lot of stuff: school, writing, weather, her family, etc.
I talked to a bunch of other people but it wasnt "small" talk. Like I asked to pet a man's dog, I asked people questions, etc.
I got yelled at by a man in an elevator. He was outside the elevator and he kept pushing the button...which stopped the elevator from going anywhere. I told him "the elevator will go up if you stop pushing the button". He was highly offended by me and told me "You can hold the elevator" Then he asked me where my PhD was. I told him I was an undergrad. He was extremely hostile towards me. I tried to defuse it with being kind. I told him I didn't mean to be rude. He said I was. I said I didn't mean to. He said "You should say excuse me." I said "excuse me". He said "you're excused". I said "Thank you, have a nice day". It was really weird.
P.S.
I got a call from a friend who is a newbie, I call him Yakuza. He said he was sarging alone at Barnes&Noble and he was striking out. After I listened to him. I tried to give him some advice that I hope will help. I told him to use false-time restraints and to listen to the mindmapping auto to erase the bad experience from his mind. I hope that helped him.
Sunday, February 4, 2007
Mini-Field Report, a cool blog post, and StyleLife Challenge
Mini-Field Report: Dr. Yes does Melrose
Dr. Yes and I went out today to finish the shopping we started on Friday. It was a beautiful day and he got some cool new threads and we had some yummy food. We really didn't set any major goals today. Just some small talk, eye contact, and I was to keep a friendly face. I think we accomplished our goals. I made small talk with at least 5 strangers...it was way easy. I asked for resturant recommendations, talked about music, and asked the waitress is she thought the half-time game entertainment was "hot" or if it needed more pizazz. Dr. Yes thought it needed much more SIZZLE. The waitress and I didn't. That's when I used my new technique.
The Wing-Girl technique I invented is called "fraternal love". I got the idea from reading Joseph Sugarman's The Psychological Triggers chapter 3, "Love and the Campus Hooker". You'll actually have to read the chapter if you want to know what it's all about but basically the routine goes like this:
I put my arm around the guy I am winging or I put my hand on his shoulder.
I say "He's wonderful and I genuinely admire this guy" to the target.
It builds instant social proof and makes the guy I am winging look that much better. I tried it once but as I get used to it, I can see myself using this one a lot...especially with guys I genuinely admire and think are wonderful. Feel free to use this but make sure you credit me if you reuse it....hehehehe.
Stay tuned for more adventures with Dr. Yes and I (and other crazy characters).
====================================================================
There's a PUA in the community that seems very SINNcere and genuinely interested in helping other men get good with women. He can be a little over the top sometimes (especially when he's drunk) but we'll just chalk that up to innergame issues (some people should not have access to electronic-communication devises when they are under the influence...and that includes me).
But I really like this blog post by Sinn. So check it out.
====================================================================
Dr. Yes and I heard about the Stylelife Challenge. He's been wanting to do it to jump start his game. He's been trying to get the info and today I got my hands on most of the material. So hopefully I can find a way to share it with him. He's very excited and wants to blog his results and give it 110%. I am going to do it too. I see no harm in attempting self-improvement stuff.
Keep an eye on my blog for more updates.
Task 2:
A. I believe people perceive me as attractive but (somewhat) unapproachable (I think Dr. Yes, would disagree on the latter).
B. I want people to perceive me as approachable, friendly, very social, intelligent, and nonselfish.
C.1. Body Language. I allow my back & arm injuries to effect my posture and body language.
2. Bad eye contact. I often don't keep eye contact during conversations and I quickly avoid contact if a guy looks at me in public (like a scared animal).
3. Interrupting people while they are talking (It's really rude of me).
D. 1. I want to show people I am listening by repeating what I hear.
2. I want my body language to exude pain-free confidence.
3. I want to keep a pleasant look on my face. Somethings I get so deep in thought I forget my face is wrinkled up in emotion. I have a great smile and I want to use it more.
I am going to take care of the other tasks now....take care.
Dr. Yes and I went out today to finish the shopping we started on Friday. It was a beautiful day and he got some cool new threads and we had some yummy food. We really didn't set any major goals today. Just some small talk, eye contact, and I was to keep a friendly face. I think we accomplished our goals. I made small talk with at least 5 strangers...it was way easy. I asked for resturant recommendations, talked about music, and asked the waitress is she thought the half-time game entertainment was "hot" or if it needed more pizazz. Dr. Yes thought it needed much more SIZZLE. The waitress and I didn't. That's when I used my new technique.
The Wing-Girl technique I invented is called "fraternal love". I got the idea from reading Joseph Sugarman's The Psychological Triggers chapter 3, "Love and the Campus Hooker". You'll actually have to read the chapter if you want to know what it's all about but basically the routine goes like this:
I put my arm around the guy I am winging or I put my hand on his shoulder.
I say "He's wonderful and I genuinely admire this guy" to the target.
It builds instant social proof and makes the guy I am winging look that much better. I tried it once but as I get used to it, I can see myself using this one a lot...especially with guys I genuinely admire and think are wonderful. Feel free to use this but make sure you credit me if you reuse it....hehehehe.
Stay tuned for more adventures with Dr. Yes and I (and other crazy characters).
====================================================================
There's a PUA in the community that seems very SINNcere and genuinely interested in helping other men get good with women. He can be a little over the top sometimes (especially when he's drunk) but we'll just chalk that up to innergame issues (some people should not have access to electronic-communication devises when they are under the influence...and that includes me).
But I really like this blog post by Sinn. So check it out.
====================================================================
Dr. Yes and I heard about the Stylelife Challenge. He's been wanting to do it to jump start his game. He's been trying to get the info and today I got my hands on most of the material. So hopefully I can find a way to share it with him. He's very excited and wants to blog his results and give it 110%. I am going to do it too. I see no harm in attempting self-improvement stuff.
Keep an eye on my blog for more updates.
Task 2:
A. I believe people perceive me as attractive but (somewhat) unapproachable (I think Dr. Yes, would disagree on the latter).
B. I want people to perceive me as approachable, friendly, very social, intelligent, and nonselfish.
C.1. Body Language. I allow my back & arm injuries to effect my posture and body language.
2. Bad eye contact. I often don't keep eye contact during conversations and I quickly avoid contact if a guy looks at me in public (like a scared animal).
3. Interrupting people while they are talking (It's really rude of me).
D. 1. I want to show people I am listening by repeating what I hear.
2. I want my body language to exude pain-free confidence.
3. I want to keep a pleasant look on my face. Somethings I get so deep in thought I forget my face is wrinkled up in emotion. I have a great smile and I want to use it more.
I am going to take care of the other tasks now....take care.
Friday, February 2, 2007
Mini-Field Report, A Comment on a Blog, & Guilty Pleasure: Sleep
Mini-Field Report:
Film Buff asked me to go shopping with him today after school. Well, somehow I managed to not finish my paper last night which was due today. So I woke up sometime before 3 a.m. and finished my paper just in enough time to get to my first class on time (I'm such a good student, huh?) And I ended up turning in a mediocre paper. Oh well, I'll just 'visualize' myself doing better on the next paper (and midterm for that matter).
Speaking of midterms, we're in the middle of mid-terms now. That means there are a lot of papers and a lot of tests that are happening next week. I've fallen behind and need to read a shit load of middle English bullshit, so I don't flunk the one class that I am actually taking for my major this quarter. The other two classes I am taking, although they are both very rigorous and immensely enjoyable, neither counts towards my major. But that is neither here or there.
I met up with Film Buff (why I originally called him that...I will never know...I am not even sure he's a "film buff") From now on Film Buff is going to be known as Dr. Yes...because he's going to get YESes with a surgical precision. Ha...I came up with the name....He came up with the slogan....Except we didn't discuss this becoming his new name....but I am going to call him that at least in my blog...because it will be good for his confidence and he can have fun "visualizing" getting YESes with such precision.
Well for what ever reason, Dr. Yes didn't really feel like opening or "picking up" women today...no big surprise to me...it's becoming his M.O. You might be thinking, we should call him Dr. No, because it fits his current frame but that would do nothing for his transformation.
And he's already started the transformation. He may not realize it yet but he's embarking on a monumental transformation...1 year from now, neither of us will recognize him. I'd bet on it and I am not the betting type. He's already made several steps in the right direction. He works out every day, he eats (what he thinks is) healthy, and he took me shopping with him.
And I have to admit, Dr. Yes takes just as long to shop as some girls. But we had fun....or at least, I had fun. He ended up getting several stylish things that accent his blue eyes and brown hair...SIDE NOTE: Hey ladies, he's single and you could be on a date with him in the next 31 days. We're also planning to invite another friend to go shopping tomorrow on Melrose, we'll call this friend "Hands-off Harry" because he's insanely young, amazingly attractive, super fashionable, humorous as hell, and in a relationship. That combination equals hands-off in my book (regardless of my visualizations). We're also going to invite the Exchange guy. Exchange Guy is going to need a new name too but first we have to come up with a really good one for him too. I love Exchange Guy; he really reminds me of my little brother. They are both the same height and they both have the same body build (skinny). He's cool and I'll miss him when he goes back to his European university after spring quarter.
===================================================================
A Blog Comment
I made a comment on Tenmagnet's blog, check it out. He liked the comment and made it a blog entry. Check it out.
===================================================================
Guilty Pleasure: Sleep
If I had the energy I'd write a great post about sleep...but for now all I have to say is:
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Good Night.
Film Buff asked me to go shopping with him today after school. Well, somehow I managed to not finish my paper last night which was due today. So I woke up sometime before 3 a.m. and finished my paper just in enough time to get to my first class on time (I'm such a good student, huh?) And I ended up turning in a mediocre paper. Oh well, I'll just 'visualize' myself doing better on the next paper (and midterm for that matter).
Speaking of midterms, we're in the middle of mid-terms now. That means there are a lot of papers and a lot of tests that are happening next week. I've fallen behind and need to read a shit load of middle English bullshit, so I don't flunk the one class that I am actually taking for my major this quarter. The other two classes I am taking, although they are both very rigorous and immensely enjoyable, neither counts towards my major. But that is neither here or there.
I met up with Film Buff (why I originally called him that...I will never know...I am not even sure he's a "film buff") From now on Film Buff is going to be known as Dr. Yes...because he's going to get YESes with a surgical precision. Ha...I came up with the name....He came up with the slogan....Except we didn't discuss this becoming his new name....but I am going to call him that at least in my blog...because it will be good for his confidence and he can have fun "visualizing" getting YESes with such precision.
Well for what ever reason, Dr. Yes didn't really feel like opening or "picking up" women today...no big surprise to me...it's becoming his M.O. You might be thinking, we should call him Dr. No, because it fits his current frame but that would do nothing for his transformation.
And he's already started the transformation. He may not realize it yet but he's embarking on a monumental transformation...1 year from now, neither of us will recognize him. I'd bet on it and I am not the betting type. He's already made several steps in the right direction. He works out every day, he eats (what he thinks is) healthy, and he took me shopping with him.
And I have to admit, Dr. Yes takes just as long to shop as some girls. But we had fun....or at least, I had fun. He ended up getting several stylish things that accent his blue eyes and brown hair...SIDE NOTE: Hey ladies, he's single and you could be on a date with him in the next 31 days. We're also planning to invite another friend to go shopping tomorrow on Melrose, we'll call this friend "Hands-off Harry" because he's insanely young, amazingly attractive, super fashionable, humorous as hell, and in a relationship. That combination equals hands-off in my book (regardless of my visualizations). We're also going to invite the Exchange guy. Exchange Guy is going to need a new name too but first we have to come up with a really good one for him too. I love Exchange Guy; he really reminds me of my little brother. They are both the same height and they both have the same body build (skinny). He's cool and I'll miss him when he goes back to his European university after spring quarter.
===================================================================
A Blog Comment
I made a comment on Tenmagnet's blog, check it out. He liked the comment and made it a blog entry. Check it out.
===================================================================
Guilty Pleasure: Sleep
If I had the energy I'd write a great post about sleep...but for now all I have to say is:
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Good Night.
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