Wordsmithery...or I am a radio

For lack of a title this post is going be ambiguously delightful. There's so many things I rolling around in my head. Things I want to express. It's hard to pick just one thing to write about. So, I'll just write and see what comes of it. Let this be a moral story about the effects of blogging under the influence and tripping off the effects of insurmountable stress. The topics here enclosed will all relate to my love for language and my passion to master its craft. Words are symbols waiting to be decoded. And this is proof.

If this doesn't make any sense to you, good. It shouldn't. Because it makes no sense to me either.

My New Favorite Color

Orange is usually my favorite color. It's so bright and cautious. It screams "Hey look at me but be careful as you proceed. Green's cool too. I like green for what it represents. Freedom or wait...is it dependence. I get the two confused. But so does our president. His favorite color is probably oil brown because it represents green to him. Or maybe its blood red because that the color he's spread around the the oil brown to get more green. Enough about the corruption in the white house...let's get back to writing about me or at least my new favorite color, which happens to be purple haze.

I am Afraid to Fall

There is something that I learned today. Or realized rather. I've never learned to skateboard. Because I'm too afraid to fall. It's something like TenMagnet's last few posts about risk taking (vol. 1 and vol. 2) . I'm not not a risk taker when it comes to falling. I avoid most activities that involve falling. Rollerblading, snowboarding, mountain biking, hiking, surfing, horseback riding, gymnastics, motocycle riding, trapezing, bungee jumping (well...I actually tried that once though), crowd surfing, professional wresting, walking down stairs, falling in love and so on and so forth. These are all activities I avoid. Because I'm afraid to fall. I get vertigo.

Today when I ran into my T.A., near the middle of campus, I stopped him because I was heading over to his office hours. He stopped and waited for me to print my paper and then he held office with me in a beautifully busy part of campus. The weather was great and I people watched as he read my paper and I saw a group of guys all trying to land a skateboard jump off a two and a half foot jump.

A weird realization came over me, I would never be out there trying to do that in front of all those people. I mean, I watched them for a while and I only saw one of the guys land one of the attempts. There must have be nearly hundred attempts. Sometimes they'd fall. Sometimes they'd land on there feet. Sometimes they'd land on the board weird. But every single time they regained control and went back to try it again, and again, and again. I hardly saw them phased by their failed attempts. I didn't see them pass judgment on any of the other guys. I didn't see people jeering them if they landed poorly. It was just systematic.

And it made me think that's the way to get good at stuff. Go for it and go for it and go for it. But I wondered if they were getting better. I wondered if they were making the most out of their missed jumps and fumbled falls. Were they analyzing their game? I wondered if they approached anything else in their lives like they did skateboarding. I couldn't do it. It seems like a waste of time to me. I mean Tony Hawk is cool but how many other 40 year old men do you know that still skateboard? Or that can say skateboarding enriched their life. Maybe more than I think. I wonder if they're going to be disappointed that the spent their time skateboarding on beautiful sunny day. Or I wonder if they were the happiest guys out there today.

Doctor Faustus

Blind ambition, pride, and absolute knowledge. I love satire. And irony. I love school too. It strange the things you learn when you're open to it. Or it's strange the way you notice things differently after you've discovered some new. Perception is a strange concept. The nature of contracts and flaws. It's strange the things they make you read at the University. And it's strange I've never read it before. And why are the kids nearly 10 years younger than me who have read this stuff? Questions have questions marks but do rhetorical questions require question marks? Who would pay $80 for a bottle of hay? And is two-thirds knowledge and power worth eternal damnation? And if the morals not about a deal with the devil, then what is the moral? What is Marlowe trying to write to me? Who talks about themselves in the third person? The limitations of language? Or the liberation of language? What's at stake? And so what? And is the title of a play really underlined? I can't see the thesis through the argument, metaphorically speaking. How can they let young fashionable professors teach? There should be a minimum age limits and they should be required to be unattractive and no pierced ears and pink ties. "Curse Faustus, curse Lucifer" albeit a warped reflection. Holding a mirror up to...

Numbers

I love numbers. Numbers are symbols. If I was a PUA, I'd use the "pick a number between one and ten" chick crack thingy all the time. Or at least I know it would definitely work on me. But then again, must of that stuff would work on me. But then again, I'd always pick eight, so it probably wouldn't work on me but who knows, if he's cute enough, it usually works. But that's beside the point or at least besides the number. Which is eight. Or when two eights become a zero. Or when song number nine is "piano". And three fifteen is headautomatica. And eight seventeen is love's first date. And two twenty-eight is his birthday. And twenty one is lucky but you don't believe in luck but it's your day nonetheless. There are numbers you purposely forget and numbers you can't forget if you wanted to forget. Numbers are meaning. The number twelve or the eight or even the super twelve. Mc eight was a rapper but no one remember him. nine-two-five is the place I'm from. Three-ten is the place I am at. Twenty-eight is fading and thirty-two is gone. Seventeen is old for a dog. Maybe too old. Fifty is for purple haze and Two plus is a long time to wait. And three seventeen is the day to wear green. I could go on and on and on...

Pillows

I love pillows. Different size, different cases. Different firmnesses. One for the neck. Stack the up next to me when I sleep. He hugs his at night. And bites them with delight. Two under the knees. One under the butt. Four to sit up with. Contoured. And throw. Match or not. Pillows are a symbol.

The best dream this week

I had an awesome dream this week. I was in "my back yard" or so it seemed to be. In a swimming pool that boarder on a glass that looked into a resort swimming pool and a neighbor's swimming pool. The resort had big pirate boats that they would have in their side of the pool and they'd have shows and I remember it was all so exciting. Warm and happy.

The worst dream this week

I had a terrible dream this week. I was in a shopping mall and someone kidnapped a little girl. They shut down the whole mall and everyone was looking for this girl. Some lady started bitching about being inconvenienced. I don't know what happened after that. I just remember it being a terrible feeling. Dreams are symbols.

I Want to be a Professor

I'd be happy being a professor. I'd get to help a bunch of young people expand their minds. I could do research in some exotic field. Teach classes and write. I think it would be cool to become a professor. You could tell your students really liberal things. Show them things they've never saw. Teach them to teach themselves. Council them and guide them. Be on a beautiful campus. Take class in spare time. Be around other great minds. Have an influence on the world. Learn. Grow. Think. Create....

What I like about the Seduction Community: The Mystery Method

Strange but true. I realize I am a bit biased but I like those guys. I've done a bit of research and haven't found a group I like more yet. Don't be jealous, I can't like all the stuff I come across. But I do like most of what I see from them. I've had the opportunity to meet a few of them. I won't get into the details surrounding that but I will say, those that I've met stand out in my mind. And even the ones I haven't met still seem good enough. They seem to have integrity and be hardworking. Savoy seems to be a great leader of men, he does what he can for his employees. His blog might be lacking as of late but that's not his fault. Maybe now he can get back to blogging, OAPing, and other more important communications. He doesn't seem as bad as some would paint him. He's witty and caring. And it seems like he could be successful at anything he tried. Sinn's a character. It seems like he can argue or bet anything. He seems to believe in what he's doing and I am jealous of him because he has one of the coolest jobs that I can think of. And he puts himself into it. He's young and sharp. And his blog is the most entertaining to follow. I love TenMagnet's blog post though too. They are so packed full of insights even if he doesn't post as often as others. He really seems to have a good grasp on these concepts. And besides he has a cool name. Future's a laugh. His posts are varied but entertaining nonetheless. It's cool that he's a film student and writes screenplays. And I want to make creme brulee. Capitan Jack is a hoot with his same day lays. He seems to have solid advice to give, especially his recent post on sticking points. Feddelio seems cool. I am sure we would never get along though (and that's not a disqualification statement or anything) but his posts are cool too. I like the advice he gave to his daughters. His personality really shone through. It's hard to keep up with all the PUAs in the community or read all the blogs but so far, I've like most of what I've seen from The Mystery Method crew. If you've haven't checked them out give them a try. You might be presently surprised.

My Friend the Exchange Guy

Really reminds me of my little brother. It's sorta strange. I think I befriended him so that I could be reminded of my brother often. They have the same body type. It's kinda cool because it's like I have a little brother in L.A. But the Exchange Guy is an exchange student, so he'll be leaving at the end of next quarter. He hooked me up today. If it weren't for him this post would probably be coherent or nonexistent. But I needed a night off. No school work, no worries, no sadness, no fears. Just me and my words.

A is for Ambiguity

There is no one in this world that knows everything about me. No one. Probably not even me. It's not something I am proud of. It's just the way I've learn to keep things. Imagine if everyone knew everything about you. I have radical dreams and liberal fantasies. High hopes and ideal ideas. I want to love different than is socially acceptable. I want live outside the lines. I want to die happy. And be proud of what I've done. I want to teach people and leave my mark on the world.

Social Capital

I want to write something about social capital but I don't know how to spell it and my arms are starting to hurt from typing so much.

I'd write more but I'm tired and in pain now. Tonight. Take care. If you're not sleeping next to the one you love tonight, may they find their way into your arms soon enough.

***Warning***
This post is unedited and will remain that way until further notice. (semi-edited now)