This blog post is going to be about a bunch of different stuff. I have so much I want to document but I don't have much time. I have a brief moment before running off to a weekend of camping. I'm so excited; I haven't been camping in many years. I have very fond memories of camping from growing up. In fact, I was camping when my younger brother was born.
Speaking of which, my younger brother (whom I saw this week on my return home for spring break) is the inspiration of my first random rambling.
THINGS I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT: IRONY
In the last few years I've grown to appreciate irony more than I ever have before. So I found it very ironic that when I saw my younger brother this week he had a beard. Especially considering my recent post on the subject of hairy men. I'll write more about irony later.
THINGS I MISS ABOUT HOME: FAMILY/FRIENDS
I really missing being in the bay area. Everything is so familiar to me. I know how to get around and short cuts. I've spent the majority of my life there and when I went back I realized how much I miss it. I really miss my family. My Mom, my younger brother, my younger sister and her family.
It was my youngest nephew's birthday and we celebrated with a BBQ. It was awesome to see my nephews. I love those boys so much. I consider myself blessed because I was able to see both of them born and now I've been to both of their first birthday parties.
My brother and I were also able to take the oldest nephew to see TMNT. This was pretty cool because my younger brother used to be a big TMNT fan when he was younger. And I used to take my nephew out every week to do fun stuff with him before I got so busy with school.
My friends are awesome too. I wasn't able to see everyone but I did see my closest friends. We enjoyed a crab feed, dim sum, a bed and breakfast, and Chinese food while watching videos. I'll write more later.
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT LA: LESS DRIVING
Speaking of irony, it's ironic that I drive less now that I live in LA. In the bay area I lived about 50 miles from SF (or at least from the Mission District) and spent a great deal of time commuting. Now, that I'm in LA, I drive considerable less. It's pretty ironic to me.
THINGS I LIKE THAT PUAS DO: ROLE PLAYING, QUALIFYING V.2, IDENTITY, and FRAMES.
I'll have to write about this later. I'm running out of time right now.
THE CUBE:
I feel disappointed I never got the cube routine used on me by my favorite pua...ugh. Oh well such is it.
I'll write more later and reply to the comments when I have more time. Take care and stay tuned to the only radio that doesn't actually make audible noise.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Happy Equinox day
So today is March 21 and that means the day is just as long as the night or the night is just as short as the day or something like that. It only happens twice a year and it's happening today. From here until September 21, the days will be longer than the nights. I am sure my explanation is extremely oversimplified but it doesn't matter.
Back to studying for my communication studies final and writing my last 30 page paper that is due tomorrow.
Back to studying for my communication studies final and writing my last 30 page paper that is due tomorrow.
Things I can live without: hairy men
I know it's a huge trend right now but I do NOT like it. This blog was prompted by one of Sinn's resent blog posts and the comments left by other men. I'd leave a comment on his blog but that's his playground and this is mine.
Sinn is very fashionable. He gets it. He understands the importance of staying well groomed even if it's time consuming or painful. Women do it all the time and they can appreciate when a guy does it some of the time. And besides I hate all that hair anyways.
I hate these shaggy beards that are so popular. I don't know one guy who looks better with a beard, not one (unless he's ugly then maybe he looks better covered by hair). Some chicks dig it, well I guess that's cool but this is my blog and I say SHAVE IT ALREADY.
excess hair is gross, it traps bacteria, and stinks. Remove it from you brow, your jaw line, your back, your chest, your "package" area, from everywhere besides your head. And if you have long hair, cut that shit too. Long hair looks awful on most men. If you look like you're in an 80's heavy metal band you look outdated and socially clueless.
Some facial hair is ok. It depends on the guy or on the design. But I still think less is more. I'd rather see a handsome face than see it buried under a bunch of hair. If a guys has a beard, I assume he's either lazy or he's insecure. Either way, not worth my time.
But I notice guys usually wait until you've been dating them for a while then they slowly start to shave less. That's not cool. How would you like it if I did that to you. Or better yet, how would you like it if I cut my hair ultra short after we've been dating for a little while. Not cool, right? Than do me a favor and remove it.
I spend a great deal of time removing excess hair, so I don't want to hear any guy complain that it takes too much time. Buck up and grab the razor.
I don't want to hear the evolutionary defense that if women didn't like it humans would have been extinct by now because men didn't have razors in the olden days. Women didn't have razors either back then, now we do. And I can't believe there is any man who would like a hairy chick over her non-hairy counterpart. Or wait, do you think this is one of those things you can have a double standard about? I don't think so. You want a girl to shave her legs, keep her pussy hair trimmed and removed excess hair from her upper lip, than you should be kind enough to do the equivalent.
I don't want to hear any of this "We didn't make the world; We only live in it" bullshit. You live in it and therefore you contribute to it. Perpetuating double standards is just as bad as creating them. So make an appointment with the threader or waxer today.
And as far as people calling Sinn a wussy, I'd have to say compare the results. Who's pulling home more chicks consistently? The well-groomed guy or his hairy counterpart? Being a wussy is being effected by manly peer pressure instead of doing what works to bringing home the ladies. Remember what's attractive is being the leader of men....not being the follower of them. And if you shave, you're preselected by me, so there's two attraction switches flipped for shaving and not listening to other men (who probably bring home less women).
Ok, enough about my hair rant....shave damnit.
Sinn is very fashionable. He gets it. He understands the importance of staying well groomed even if it's time consuming or painful. Women do it all the time and they can appreciate when a guy does it some of the time. And besides I hate all that hair anyways.
I hate these shaggy beards that are so popular. I don't know one guy who looks better with a beard, not one (unless he's ugly then maybe he looks better covered by hair). Some chicks dig it, well I guess that's cool but this is my blog and I say SHAVE IT ALREADY.
excess hair is gross, it traps bacteria, and stinks. Remove it from you brow, your jaw line, your back, your chest, your "package" area, from everywhere besides your head. And if you have long hair, cut that shit too. Long hair looks awful on most men. If you look like you're in an 80's heavy metal band you look outdated and socially clueless.
Some facial hair is ok. It depends on the guy or on the design. But I still think less is more. I'd rather see a handsome face than see it buried under a bunch of hair. If a guys has a beard, I assume he's either lazy or he's insecure. Either way, not worth my time.
But I notice guys usually wait until you've been dating them for a while then they slowly start to shave less. That's not cool. How would you like it if I did that to you. Or better yet, how would you like it if I cut my hair ultra short after we've been dating for a little while. Not cool, right? Than do me a favor and remove it.
I spend a great deal of time removing excess hair, so I don't want to hear any guy complain that it takes too much time. Buck up and grab the razor.
I don't want to hear the evolutionary defense that if women didn't like it humans would have been extinct by now because men didn't have razors in the olden days. Women didn't have razors either back then, now we do. And I can't believe there is any man who would like a hairy chick over her non-hairy counterpart. Or wait, do you think this is one of those things you can have a double standard about? I don't think so. You want a girl to shave her legs, keep her pussy hair trimmed and removed excess hair from her upper lip, than you should be kind enough to do the equivalent.
I don't want to hear any of this "We didn't make the world; We only live in it" bullshit. You live in it and therefore you contribute to it. Perpetuating double standards is just as bad as creating them. So make an appointment with the threader or waxer today.
And as far as people calling Sinn a wussy, I'd have to say compare the results. Who's pulling home more chicks consistently? The well-groomed guy or his hairy counterpart? Being a wussy is being effected by manly peer pressure instead of doing what works to bringing home the ladies. Remember what's attractive is being the leader of men....not being the follower of them. And if you shave, you're preselected by me, so there's two attraction switches flipped for shaving and not listening to other men (who probably bring home less women).
Ok, enough about my hair rant....shave damnit.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Things I Cannot Live Without: LOVE
I love love. I'm a hopeless romantic. In the worst kind of way. I idealize everything. I see the world with a child-like naiveté. And it keeps getting me into trouble. I'm not sure how I made it this far with such an quixotic outlook on life.
I want to believe the world is the way I was told it was; the way we tell our children it is. I want to believe all the lies I've been told. Lies about love, hate, America, the world, people, religion, history, truth, the future, dating, justice, sex, hope, responsibility, promises, prayers, relationships, drugs, and whatever else we've been lied to about. But in particular love.
So tonight's radio broadcast is going to be about love and somethings I really love.
MUSIC
I love music. It's be a huge part of my life and I relate things to music. I love music so much that I have to limit the amount of music I am exposed to because I feel guilty for not giving my music enough love already. But I am not musical. I can't singer or play an instrument. I just love hearing music. I love lyrics best. I love lyrics that tell stories or make me feel like how I feel is articulated in an audio translation. I've got a thing for hearing voices and listening to music can heighten my sexual experience easily. Most of my closest friends and ex-lovers have been musicians or consumed by some aspect of music. It's how I categorize my memories, emotions, and hopes. It's probably a good thing that I don't have an ipod; if I had one I might
not ever pay attention to anyone or anything around me. I'd be lost in my own head for hours. I write to music and want the things that I write reflective of my love for music. I've been asking friends and lovers to make me mixed c.d.s for years. It started with Jealous Jason. I've gotten introduced to my favorite music by someone I've loved or admired. Some themes I've received over the years: angel songs, slow & mellow songs, songs sung by females, one hit wonders, love songs, sex songs, madona & michael jackson, I'm sorta crazy songs, etc. I can listen to a song with good lyrics over and over and over again. I can listen to mixed c.d.s repeatedly and go for months without changing the mix c.d. in my car stereo. Music is playing right now in the back ground. I make play lists based of my writing projects. I assign people songs, usually guys I am dating. He who is him (HWH) is assigned the song, "Blue Eyes" that I posted previously; or he's "Wish you were here" by pinkfloyd. Jealous Jason is song has been "You oughta know" by Alanis Morrisette. Bass Bob is "Her middle name is boom" by Glassjaw. "Angel" for a different ex-boyfriend because he told me that song was about heroin and since he was an ex-user (I believed him...remembering I am starry-eyed). I am not going to post a bunch of lyrics on this post, because it would just take up too much room but I'll list a few songs that I've been listening today. I love "Fidelity" by Regina Spektor and I love the video. I'd say she capture I sentiment that I often have very well and I love the color at the end of that video. I love music and lyrics (the movie and otherwise). I love the Presidents of the United States of America. I love when he sings to me while playing guitar. I'll miss that. I've thought of movie ideas based off of song lyrics. "White Wedding Dress" by boysetsfire. I love concerts. "I Need Two Girls if I can't have you". I think that's enough about how much I love music.
MOVIES
I love movies. I can't believe The Teenage Mutant Turtles is going to be a new movie. Ohmigawd! I love romantic comedies. I wish I could see more movies. It seems like I watch less movies since I've moved to L.A. I own nearly no d.v.d.s Exccpt for Amelie, American Beauty, The Story of Us, EverAfter, What Dreams may Come, and Pay it forward. I love watching little kid movies in the theatre at night when no one else is there. I love snuggling up with a guy during scary movies. I love crying at movies. I've only walked out of a movie once because I was too disturbed, in Boys Don't Cry. I love movies with life lessons. I love pornos, even though they are not movies and I don't own any. I love Jackie Chan movies. I love City of Lost Children. I love movies with great music. I love movie posters.
I should be writing right now...maybe, I'll continue this post later.
[unedited]
I want to believe the world is the way I was told it was; the way we tell our children it is. I want to believe all the lies I've been told. Lies about love, hate, America, the world, people, religion, history, truth, the future, dating, justice, sex, hope, responsibility, promises, prayers, relationships, drugs, and whatever else we've been lied to about. But in particular love.
So tonight's radio broadcast is going to be about love and somethings I really love.
MUSIC
I love music. It's be a huge part of my life and I relate things to music. I love music so much that I have to limit the amount of music I am exposed to because I feel guilty for not giving my music enough love already. But I am not musical. I can't singer or play an instrument. I just love hearing music. I love lyrics best. I love lyrics that tell stories or make me feel like how I feel is articulated in an audio translation. I've got a thing for hearing voices and listening to music can heighten my sexual experience easily. Most of my closest friends and ex-lovers have been musicians or consumed by some aspect of music. It's how I categorize my memories, emotions, and hopes. It's probably a good thing that I don't have an ipod; if I had one I might
not ever pay attention to anyone or anything around me. I'd be lost in my own head for hours. I write to music and want the things that I write reflective of my love for music. I've been asking friends and lovers to make me mixed c.d.s for years. It started with Jealous Jason. I've gotten introduced to my favorite music by someone I've loved or admired. Some themes I've received over the years: angel songs, slow & mellow songs, songs sung by females, one hit wonders, love songs, sex songs, madona & michael jackson, I'm sorta crazy songs, etc. I can listen to a song with good lyrics over and over and over again. I can listen to mixed c.d.s repeatedly and go for months without changing the mix c.d. in my car stereo. Music is playing right now in the back ground. I make play lists based of my writing projects. I assign people songs, usually guys I am dating. He who is him (HWH) is assigned the song, "Blue Eyes" that I posted previously; or he's "Wish you were here" by pinkfloyd. Jealous Jason is song has been "You oughta know" by Alanis Morrisette. Bass Bob is "Her middle name is boom" by Glassjaw. "Angel" for a different ex-boyfriend because he told me that song was about heroin and since he was an ex-user (I believed him...remembering I am starry-eyed). I am not going to post a bunch of lyrics on this post, because it would just take up too much room but I'll list a few songs that I've been listening today. I love "Fidelity" by Regina Spektor and I love the video. I'd say she capture I sentiment that I often have very well and I love the color at the end of that video. I love music and lyrics (the movie and otherwise). I love the Presidents of the United States of America. I love when he sings to me while playing guitar. I'll miss that. I've thought of movie ideas based off of song lyrics. "White Wedding Dress" by boysetsfire. I love concerts. "I Need Two Girls if I can't have you". I think that's enough about how much I love music.
MOVIES
I love movies. I can't believe The Teenage Mutant Turtles is going to be a new movie. Ohmigawd! I love romantic comedies. I wish I could see more movies. It seems like I watch less movies since I've moved to L.A. I own nearly no d.v.d.s Exccpt for Amelie, American Beauty, The Story of Us, EverAfter, What Dreams may Come, and Pay it forward. I love watching little kid movies in the theatre at night when no one else is there. I love snuggling up with a guy during scary movies. I love crying at movies. I've only walked out of a movie once because I was too disturbed, in Boys Don't Cry. I love movies with life lessons. I love pornos, even though they are not movies and I don't own any. I love Jackie Chan movies. I love City of Lost Children. I love movies with great music. I love movie posters.
I should be writing right now...maybe, I'll continue this post later.
[unedited]
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Customized t-shirt sayings I want made
~ Don't neg me.
~Unplowable
~Dude, go reframe.
~ You can peacock better than that.
~ Social Proof
~ Pivots have more fun.
~ Wing Woman (on the front). [with little angel wings on the back] (on the back)
~ That was not cocky or funny.
~ Considered this a take-away (on the back).
~ My brother has more game than you.
~ Have you seen Michelle?
~ Comfort comes after attraction.
~ I just saw your twin. (written in text message font)
~ I don't thumb wrestle.
~ Is this thread ever going to end?
~ Next stack please.
~ You can't control my frame.
~ You and I would never get a long.
~ There's a 3 second rule for a reason.
~ That's not a DHV.
~ Find. Meet. Attraction. Make him commit.
~ This is not a shit test.
~ No AFCs allowed, please.
~ Don't make me use my bitch shield on you.
~ This is not LMR.
~ You rock because you like Cold Case. You suck because you don't smoke joints.
Or
~ You rock because you ___________. You suck because you _____________.
~ I am a radio.
P.S.
I almost forgot:
~ Go kino yourself.
~Unplowable
~Dude, go reframe.
~ You can peacock better than that.
~ Social Proof
~ Pivots have more fun.
~ Wing Woman (on the front). [with little angel wings on the back] (on the back)
~ That was not cocky or funny.
~ Considered this a take-away (on the back).
~ My brother has more game than you.
~ Have you seen Michelle?
~ Comfort comes after attraction.
~ I just saw your twin. (written in text message font)
~ I don't thumb wrestle.
~ Is this thread ever going to end?
~ Next stack please.
~ You can't control my frame.
~ You and I would never get a long.
~ There's a 3 second rule for a reason.
~ That's not a DHV.
~ Find. Meet. Attraction. Make him commit.
~ This is not a shit test.
~ No AFCs allowed, please.
~ Don't make me use my bitch shield on you.
~ This is not LMR.
~ You rock because you like Cold Case. You suck because you don't smoke joints.
Or
~ You rock because you ___________. You suck because you _____________.
~ I am a radio.
P.S.
I almost forgot:
~ Go kino yourself.
5 things I like that PUAs do
I don't know how to introduce this piece. I've got so many thoughts buzzing around my head, it's hard to see the metaphorical tree through the satirical forest. Except for the trees are thought whizzing by as if I was a symbolic skier racing down a tree covered mountain. I am continuously getting smacked in the face with the branches from said trees.
Or another allegory, a wise man once say; I am a radio. The thoughts streaming through my head are the radio wave, my mind is the transceiver, and my mouth is the obnoxiously loud speaking blasting the ever changing station in my head, maryjane is the electricity that fuels this chaos. It's even harder to express this in written form. See verbally it's different, the audio that comes out of my mouth is so natural. The wise man, that was mentioned before (we'll call him: "He who is him" or "Him who is he": HWH for short)* So, anyhoo, HWH used to say he could practically see my train of thought. That's when HWH came up with "You're a radio". So now it's an inside joke. You-had-to-be-there sort of thing, ya know?
Oh well, so if this doesn't make sense to you; don't worry. It's not supposed to. You should only worry if this is crystal clear to you.
This is my defense of the seduction community (and this should help people understand my reasoning or support of this group of guys).
* This is the best way I can describe him who is he. Trust me if I had a better why I'd use it but It's hard to name all that he embodies.
1. inner game
"Learning's golden gifts" ~ "Dr. Faustus" by Christopher Marlowe
I have yet to find a definition for inner game. It's basically an multi-variant and interdisciplinary set of self-awareness knowledge structure or latter or what I like to call rhizome. "Rhizomatic" isn't a real word (yet) but it's a philosophy or theory. You'll have to look it up to figure out what i it really means. I'm going to use the concept as best I understand it to explain some thing, the way I see them.
Rhizome means that there is no one true base or root; it's not like a tree. A tree grows from one set of roots, if you damage those roots enough the whole tree will be damage and all parts of the tree come from that single root system. Rhizomes roots are complex system; it's more like grass. This probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense so I'll move on. No need to further complicate an already complicated concept by butchering it.
If inner game takes on rhizomatic features. It basically means there are many different roots (subficial...is this even a word? I'm using words that don't exist in the dictionary)** Inter game isn't just one thing or it doesn't just root from one base or one source. It's multi variant and multi equative (shit another word that doesn't exist in the dictionary...it's hard to write what I mean when words fail to express what my thoughts truly represent...I don't know what the point of mastering language is if it can express what's really going on in my mind?).
I believe everything is rhizomatic; love, life, sex, thoughts, memories, relationships, ideas, behaviors, actions, language, art, etc. Not to mention, inner game.
I believe to some degree all human beings are striving to effect some aspect of inner game in their life, regardless of they are pick-up artists, or everyone else. The pick-up artists are just more systematic and thorough about it (or at least they strive to be). And this is one thing I like about them. They are pushing themselves and ultimately the evolution envelope further and they brings the rest of us along with them, even if we are kicking and screaming the whole way there.
When one person focusing on making themselves better it has a profound effect not only in the life of the one doing it but in the lives of those surrounding that person striving to be a better person. You get enough people doing this and suddenly there's a shift towards improvement in so many different areas. I wish I could be more specific or give more examples but I'm having a hard time.
It's a complicated concepts and it's not easy to explain without simplifying it to the point of altering it. I believe this is how many of the PUA concepts are though. That's why it's so difficult to understand, master, and teach. That's why I admire those that can do anyone of those; not to mention, someone who can do all three of those. It amazes me. If I really think about it, my thoughts and emotions get overwhelming. It scares me how intense this stuff can be.
I'd love to learn what the PUAs know about inner game and be able to apply it to my life and see what if any effect it has on me, my life, and those around me. And then I wonder if it can be taught to or beneficial to other women.
I've notice I'm fascinated with parallels and I'm dying to discover, theorize, or connect the parallels between what the PUAs have already learned and it's female equivalent.
So inner game is something I like about the PUAs. I am not going to keep going, I think it's pretty clear what I mean. Plus I am getting tired and have 4 more sections to write. This may have to be segmented blog post. I'm not sure how much more I can write.
**roots and underground grass grows and trunks of trees grow above ground. Roots represent the inner part, the grass represents the surface level manifestation of what's happening below the surface (subficial)
2. calibrations/microcalibration
Calibrations is another amazing concept that blows my mind. It reminds me of what good actors do or it reminds me of one of Sinn's recent blog posts (I can't believe how insanely knowledgeable that guy is).
I studied theatre for three years and 2 of those years was spent learning under one of the best teachers I've ever had, and probably one of the better acting teachers. That latter part probably can't be proven. He rigorously taught countless students at junior college the method acting style.
Much of it was lost on me. I wish I could have had 3 more years studying with him but I was clueless at the time and didn't make the most out of it and now he's retired.
Anyhoo, the concept of calibration remind me of the work we were doing in intermediate and advanced acting. It's call being in the "moment" or "checking in". And it relied heavily on responding to what is happening at any given moment on stage. It's not about pretending. It's not about acting or displaying or faking. It's about relating to the other person on stage and reacting to what they are giving to you. It's actually very difficult to do this but when done well it's amazing to watch and be a part of.
This is what PUAs do with women (if they are good). They take when she says, an expression on her face, a change in body language, a tonality alteration, an eye shift, of glance or any subtle reaction and they use that knowledge to proceed.
The most basic part to this would be IOIs or IODs and the PUAs response to them.
You can't calibrate if you're not paying attention, if you're not focused. You can make you're next move if you can't see what move she just made. It's like playing chess blind. Only I've never played chess, so maybe that's not the best example. But I am blind; literally I am legally blind in my right eye; but figuratively I am pretty blind in other ways too. So, I am fairly confident in my the blind metaphor of the example....moving on:
So, I basically like calibration.
3. Disqualifiers
This is gold to me. If you don't get or understand this concept, your game may be less than what it can be. PERIOD. I can't explain why it's so powerful but I know it works. and I know it works and many different levels. It's an art within itself to master.
4. understanding the opposite sex
"Sporting in the dalliance of love." Dr. Faustus by Christopher Marlowe
My biggest sticking point is understanding men. PERIOD.
[I'm tired...I'm going to leave this blog unedited and incomplete. I know I'm leaving social capital unwritten about again, but it's such a huge concept to tackle and I'm exhausted, I can't really function beyond this point. And no one really reads my blog, so I think it can wait until I am more coherent. and when my eyes don't hurt from being so emotional. and when it's not nearly 2 am...I know that the time stamped on this blog is going to be the time I started writing this but that was a long time ago...it's 1:42am now...)
5. Social capital
Or another allegory, a wise man once say; I am a radio. The thoughts streaming through my head are the radio wave, my mind is the transceiver, and my mouth is the obnoxiously loud speaking blasting the ever changing station in my head, maryjane is the electricity that fuels this chaos. It's even harder to express this in written form. See verbally it's different, the audio that comes out of my mouth is so natural. The wise man, that was mentioned before (we'll call him: "He who is him" or "Him who is he": HWH for short)* So, anyhoo, HWH used to say he could practically see my train of thought. That's when HWH came up with "You're a radio". So now it's an inside joke. You-had-to-be-there sort of thing, ya know?
Oh well, so if this doesn't make sense to you; don't worry. It's not supposed to. You should only worry if this is crystal clear to you.
This is my defense of the seduction community (and this should help people understand my reasoning or support of this group of guys).
* This is the best way I can describe him who is he. Trust me if I had a better why I'd use it but It's hard to name all that he embodies.
1. inner game
"Learning's golden gifts" ~ "Dr. Faustus" by Christopher Marlowe
I have yet to find a definition for inner game. It's basically an multi-variant and interdisciplinary set of self-awareness knowledge structure or latter or what I like to call rhizome. "Rhizomatic" isn't a real word (yet) but it's a philosophy or theory. You'll have to look it up to figure out what i it really means. I'm going to use the concept as best I understand it to explain some thing, the way I see them.
Rhizome means that there is no one true base or root; it's not like a tree. A tree grows from one set of roots, if you damage those roots enough the whole tree will be damage and all parts of the tree come from that single root system. Rhizomes roots are complex system; it's more like grass. This probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense so I'll move on. No need to further complicate an already complicated concept by butchering it.
If inner game takes on rhizomatic features. It basically means there are many different roots (subficial...is this even a word? I'm using words that don't exist in the dictionary)** Inter game isn't just one thing or it doesn't just root from one base or one source. It's multi variant and multi equative (shit another word that doesn't exist in the dictionary...it's hard to write what I mean when words fail to express what my thoughts truly represent...I don't know what the point of mastering language is if it can express what's really going on in my mind?).
I believe everything is rhizomatic; love, life, sex, thoughts, memories, relationships, ideas, behaviors, actions, language, art, etc. Not to mention, inner game.
I believe to some degree all human beings are striving to effect some aspect of inner game in their life, regardless of they are pick-up artists, or everyone else. The pick-up artists are just more systematic and thorough about it (or at least they strive to be). And this is one thing I like about them. They are pushing themselves and ultimately the evolution envelope further and they brings the rest of us along with them, even if we are kicking and screaming the whole way there.
When one person focusing on making themselves better it has a profound effect not only in the life of the one doing it but in the lives of those surrounding that person striving to be a better person. You get enough people doing this and suddenly there's a shift towards improvement in so many different areas. I wish I could be more specific or give more examples but I'm having a hard time.
It's a complicated concepts and it's not easy to explain without simplifying it to the point of altering it. I believe this is how many of the PUA concepts are though. That's why it's so difficult to understand, master, and teach. That's why I admire those that can do anyone of those; not to mention, someone who can do all three of those. It amazes me. If I really think about it, my thoughts and emotions get overwhelming. It scares me how intense this stuff can be.
I'd love to learn what the PUAs know about inner game and be able to apply it to my life and see what if any effect it has on me, my life, and those around me. And then I wonder if it can be taught to or beneficial to other women.
I've notice I'm fascinated with parallels and I'm dying to discover, theorize, or connect the parallels between what the PUAs have already learned and it's female equivalent.
So inner game is something I like about the PUAs. I am not going to keep going, I think it's pretty clear what I mean. Plus I am getting tired and have 4 more sections to write. This may have to be segmented blog post. I'm not sure how much more I can write.
**roots and underground grass grows and trunks of trees grow above ground. Roots represent the inner part, the grass represents the surface level manifestation of what's happening below the surface (subficial)
2. calibrations/microcalibration
Calibrations is another amazing concept that blows my mind. It reminds me of what good actors do or it reminds me of one of Sinn's recent blog posts (I can't believe how insanely knowledgeable that guy is).
I studied theatre for three years and 2 of those years was spent learning under one of the best teachers I've ever had, and probably one of the better acting teachers. That latter part probably can't be proven. He rigorously taught countless students at junior college the method acting style.
Much of it was lost on me. I wish I could have had 3 more years studying with him but I was clueless at the time and didn't make the most out of it and now he's retired.
Anyhoo, the concept of calibration remind me of the work we were doing in intermediate and advanced acting. It's call being in the "moment" or "checking in". And it relied heavily on responding to what is happening at any given moment on stage. It's not about pretending. It's not about acting or displaying or faking. It's about relating to the other person on stage and reacting to what they are giving to you. It's actually very difficult to do this but when done well it's amazing to watch and be a part of.
This is what PUAs do with women (if they are good). They take when she says, an expression on her face, a change in body language, a tonality alteration, an eye shift, of glance or any subtle reaction and they use that knowledge to proceed.
The most basic part to this would be IOIs or IODs and the PUAs response to them.
You can't calibrate if you're not paying attention, if you're not focused. You can make you're next move if you can't see what move she just made. It's like playing chess blind. Only I've never played chess, so maybe that's not the best example. But I am blind; literally I am legally blind in my right eye; but figuratively I am pretty blind in other ways too. So, I am fairly confident in my the blind metaphor of the example....moving on:
So, I basically like calibration.
3. Disqualifiers
This is gold to me. If you don't get or understand this concept, your game may be less than what it can be. PERIOD. I can't explain why it's so powerful but I know it works. and I know it works and many different levels. It's an art within itself to master.
4. understanding the opposite sex
"Sporting in the dalliance of love." Dr. Faustus by Christopher Marlowe
My biggest sticking point is understanding men. PERIOD.
I'm starting to recognize a pattern of behavior that I display that is probably very off putting to the men I date. IIf there was an e-book on this concept I'd buy it in a heartbeat, and I'd pay what it's worth too. This is definitely an area where the PUAs have us girls out foxed. PUAs know so much about women it's almost ridiculous. I've learned more about myself from guys than I think I've learned on my own. Guys seems to see things about me that I'm figuratively blind to. And they have this great analytical way of expressing it or a whole different perspective to understanding it. I wish I understood myself completely and I wish I understood men enough to deal with them better.
"Its not until we try to understand the opposite
sex that we can start having real success with
them." Joseph Mathews.
[I'm tired...I'm going to leave this blog unedited and incomplete. I know I'm leaving social capital unwritten about again, but it's such a huge concept to tackle and I'm exhausted, I can't really function beyond this point. And no one really reads my blog, so I think it can wait until I am more coherent. and when my eyes don't hurt from being so emotional. and when it's not nearly 2 am...I know that the time stamped on this blog is going to be the time I started writing this but that was a long time ago...it's 1:42am now...)
5. Social capital
Saturday, March 17, 2007
I feel awful
I hurt someone I really care about and broke his trust more than once. I'm not proud of what I've done or happy where it's gotten me. I know I should think positive (and I will) but at the same time I just need to deal with what I've done. And I've done something awful so I am dealing with the effects of that and it makes me feel awful.
I want to be a person of my word and I want to help and I want to do things I am proud of and that people can be proud of me for doing. I want to be strong and happy and in love.
This song makes me happy:
Artist: Cary Brothers Lyrics
Song: Blue Eyes Lyrics
Wish enough, wise man'll tell you a lie
Window broke, torn up screens
Who'd have thought that you'd dream
Of a single tragic scene
I just wanna sing a song with you
I just want to take it off of you
Cause Blue Eyes
You are all that I need
Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the sweet to my mean
Fess it up, dot on the palm of your hand
I can help you to stand
Saved it up for this dance
Tell me all the things you can
I just wanna sing a song with you
I just wanna be the one that's true
Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the secret I keep
Cause Blue Eyes
All the lights on and you are alive
But you can't point the way to your heart
So sublime, when the stars are aligned
But you don't know
You don't know the greatness you are
Cause Blue Eyes
You are destiny's scene
Cause Blue Eyes
I just wanna be the one
I just wanna sing a song with you
I just wanna get it on with you
Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the secret I keep
Cause Blue Eyes
I just wanna sing a song with you…
I want to be a person of my word and I want to help and I want to do things I am proud of and that people can be proud of me for doing. I want to be strong and happy and in love.
This song makes me happy:
Artist: Cary Brothers Lyrics
Song: Blue Eyes Lyrics
Wish enough, wise man'll tell you a lie
Window broke, torn up screens
Who'd have thought that you'd dream
Of a single tragic scene
I just wanna sing a song with you
I just want to take it off of you
Cause Blue Eyes
You are all that I need
Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the sweet to my mean
Fess it up, dot on the palm of your hand
I can help you to stand
Saved it up for this dance
Tell me all the things you can
I just wanna sing a song with you
I just wanna be the one that's true
Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the secret I keep
Cause Blue Eyes
All the lights on and you are alive
But you can't point the way to your heart
So sublime, when the stars are aligned
But you don't know
You don't know the greatness you are
Cause Blue Eyes
You are destiny's scene
Cause Blue Eyes
I just wanna be the one
I just wanna sing a song with you
I just wanna get it on with you
Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the secret I keep
Cause Blue Eyes
I just wanna sing a song with you…
Friday, March 16, 2007
It's been a long day and an even longer week
I don't want to dwell on the negative so I won't. So I'll dwell on the positive. Although, today has been a long day, it's been a productive day. I got a lot of things done.
I got up early to to proof read my Communications studies project one more time before going to school early enough to get it printed before class. I proof read and edited my paper again. Made some adjustments and had a lovely bus ride to school.
The computer lab was open and I started to print my project section by section, title page, project, reference page, appendix content sheet, and the 5 parts to the appendix. By the time I was done printing it, I had probably about 40 pages to turn in. I had to staple it into two sections, my 18 pages that I created and the 20 odd pages to the appendix.
I was happy. I felt like I really accomplished something. It wasn't perfect but it was clean and crisp. I felt like I met the assignment requirements well. I'd been working on this for weeks, when I know some students started their paper last night. It felt exciting. Like I gave it everything I could, time, energy, effort, dedication, persistence, and I was proud.
My teacher said no one ever asked him to the do this subject before. I have been working with him for the last 10 weeks to make sure I was doing it properly and even though I think he'll find areas for improvement. I feel like I met most of his requirements.
Every time I've met him he's given me feedback and helped me sculpt this into a better project. He kept me focused and guided me well through the project. He pushed me and challenged me to do something, I've never done before and it felt great.
I've never done anything like this before. I've known for years that I've been interested in social sciences and scientific research into social and gender dynamics. Especially in regards to dating and sex.
I saw that movie Kinsey with the guy I was dating at the time and I was fascinated by it. I think that would be a cool job to have, sex scientist. And that movie was so well written. I loved the way the story devises were used. The question section adding to the narrative. The interweaving of the two parts. I remember just loving the writing and the editing and the acting. It was great.
But I've always (or at least for many years) been interested into television shows that discussed the science of love, sex, and/or dating. Even if they are reality based and that aren't necessarily written creatively but definitely well and some what witty at times.
I've never really been that great at sciences like biology, or chemistry, or the such. In fact, the sciences that I have taken in college have been either the physical sciences (geology, anthropology, etc) and social sciences (psychology, etc). I really like the social sciences, especially this communication studies class.
I sorta wish I could be a communication studies major, but I can't it's too late. It's an impacted major and I'd don't have enough time to go back and take all of the requirements and graduate in the amount of time they require me to. I wish I did. And I wish they weren't so eager to push me through to graduation.
I really like school and I love being there on campus learning. I sorta wish I could be a student forever. I just love being around the thriving learning environment. It's has a strong vibe to it.
My professor told me some of the research he's working on and it all sounds so interesting. Studying imagination and trying to prove the current theory wrong or proving your own theory. There's all kinds of research available, it's just too bad I am an English major.
I guess there's nothing stopping me from being an English major and assisting in other departmental research or outside classroom learning. But it's time consuming to be a full time student.
I was away from home for 12 hours today. And most of that time was spend doing something that had to do with the classes I am currently taking.
After I turned in my Communication Studies project, I went to edit and print another paper that was do 2 hours after I had turned in my commstu project. But my second paper was an English paper. It's funny, how difficult I find my own major.
I've also been working on this English paper for several weeks. I'm not as proud of that paper, so I am not going to post it. The topic I choose was Faustus. And I struggled to come up with a thesis. I came up with great ideas and interesting observations about the text but I struggled immensely with formulating a proper thesis for the things I was observing.
I saw my T.A. 5 times about the paper in the last two weeks. I probably emailed him more than twice that many times. I also saw my teacher twice and probably emailed him about the same amount of times that I emailed my T.A. I am sure both of them were happy that the papers were do today. It meant they wouldn't be hearing from me about the satirical parallels in Dr. Faustus by Christopher Marlowe.
So I turned in the paper at 1pm and sat through a lecture about Books 11 & 12 in Paradise Lost. Before grabbing my first real bite to eat all day and checking my voicemail to find out that one of my girlfriends was dumped last night. So I spent part of my lunch trying to help her feel better.
Today must have been a female energized day because I got about half a dozen calls from females in my life today.
My girlfriend that lives in L.A. was calling to give the weekly run down of weekend happenings. While updating me on her love life and most recent exploits.
My mom called to confirm my flight information, since I text message her this morning "Oh Shit, I just realized I have a final Friday 2-23 in the morning, I can't fly out until Saturday."
Then I spent an hour in a very haphazard discussion section that was supposed to help us with the preparing for the final. My T.A. is a nice guy (and I hate to use that word) but he's pretty clueless when it comes to actually facilitating the learning process. And I have no doubt that he needs to learn some of this PUA stuff.
And after that I studied in the library for 4 hours for my English final that is on Monday....
And while I was studying I got another call each from my girlfriends and mom. On the way home, I called my friend from the Bay Area who just got dumped last night and spent a good 2 hours on the phone with her, while I was getting home on the bus (which takes about 40 minutes to do).
I really tried to help her. I tried to give her advice and techniques for dealing with this. She said she felt better and she seemed a lot less emotionally upset and she had a good outlook by the time we were done. which makes me feel good.
By the time I was done talking to her I was exhausted. And my L.A. girlfriend called. We both decided to stay in tonight, thankfully. It's a good end to a long day.
This week has been pretty long but I've also gotten a lot of things done. Like yesterday, I got my medical marijuana prescription/card. So now, I am set...I don't have to deal with hassling to find medicine anymore.
It was sorta time consuming to go out to Hollywood to see the doctor and I was in the office for 2 hours but at least it gave me a break from my papers. Plus, it could have been a lot worse. I was on my medication when I showed up and it was really funny to read the disclaimer that they have you sign. The funniest parts were when the form was describing some of the side effects of the medication.
Euphoria....hahahahaha. Talkativeness, loss of conceptual time, short term memory loss, lack of concentration, etc. The list was hilarious. I asked for a copy but they refused.
It was completely different than the first experience I had with a friend in Northern California. She asked me to go with her to renew her prescription and it had to be the strangest thing I've ever experienced.
First it wasn't in a doctor's office, it was in some Jamaican woman's apartment in Berkeley but it was more like Oakland. There were people just laying around freshly baked. She had banana bread that just melted me my chair.
We had to wait a long time, and she kept saying that the Doctor would be up in just a little while. And the whole time I'm expecting a doctor to walk through the door. Then she finally says that the Doctor is in New FUCKIN' Zealand and a goat on his farm just ate through his internet cable and he had to run to the store in town to buy a new cable so that he could teleconference via video internet.
Eventually my girlfriend went into a bedroom turned into an office and spoke to the Doctor, who was in New FUCKIN' Zealand and she got her prescription from the doctor, while I was smoking the fastest Jay I'd ever smoked with the others who were waiting in the living room.
It was the trippiest thing ever.
But it was cool, she got her script and I was happy from the banana bread and free bud they were sharing with me. I'd say sharing is caring and a friend with weed is a friend indeed.
This time I just sat in a plain office, there wasn't any banana bread or jays, just a bunch of folks waiting to see the doctor.
Medical marijuana doctors have it made. That doctor works 4 days a week for 5 hours a day (20 hours total) and brings in mad cash and has time to be with his family. And the doctor in New Zealand has it made too. Shit, If I could live in New Zealand on a farm with a goat to eat wires, It would be cool.
It was a good break, since before that I was having a heavy session with my psychologist. She's tough on me. And she really gave me so good advice and basically didn't go easy on me at all. Which was something I really needed. Tough love. I like working with her. She's really done a lot for me.
I also heard from my brother yesterday and he's doing well with the Style 505 thing. He says so far all the challenges have been self-improvement stuff and he wishes it had to do with meeting girls. But I told him that, I like all the self-improvement stuff. He told me about all the challenges.
He said the first one dealt with approach anxiety. He says he doesn't really deal with AA that much and I believe him. He doesn't have a problem going up to strangers and just talking to them.
I remember one time we were out and someone stop to give him a bible and he got into a discussion with the person and kept just asking really engaging questions. We've always been really social. I think I've become less social though over the years. I definitely seem to go through my day with my defenses (bitch shield) up a lot more. I am trying to break from that and still be social without being bothered by random men bugging me. It's hard though. Cuz I hate being bugged but at the same time I like being social.
I also signed up for my class reunion mailing list and saw Jealous Jason was already on it. I am sorta surprised because he always acting like he would NOT be interested in going to the class reunion.
It was cool to see updated pictures of him. He still looks the same, or at least I can still see the guy I used to love in his face. And he's making feature-length films from where he lives in the Bay Area, so that's cool. He always said he didn't want to move to L.A. to be a film director. And it looks like he's doing it now.
It would be interesting to see him again and caught up. I know he as a kid and I think he's married. I doubt his wife would want him to see me though. She's started dating him right after we broke up (he could never stand to be out of a relationship for very long) and they were pregnant within a few years. And I am sure they got married.
It was weird, she was a lesbian when he met her, or at least dating a girl. Oh well. I always just thought that he would have double the jealousy issues with her.
It was strange. He dumped me because he said I was selfish. And I realized I was being selfish because I had given him so much and wasn't getting the same in return. I wanted to pursue business opportunities for the business we had started together and he didn't want me to advance in the direction I was going.
At the time, I remember thinking that I'd be able to find another guy to fall in love with easily. Boy was I wrong. If I had known at the time that love was so difficult, I may have handled it differently. But because our love seemed so easy and because I was so naive, I had no idea how difficult dating could be.
I'm glad we separated because we were having communication problems and being single for the last 5 years has really given me opportunities to develop myself, independently and probably more thoroughly then I could have done in a relationship with him.
I am getting tired....This blog is going to have to continue when I have more time and when I am not exhausted. And it will also remain unedited until I can get around to finishing it up.
I am a radio of different sorts tonight.
(partially edited)
I got up early to to proof read my Communications studies project one more time before going to school early enough to get it printed before class. I proof read and edited my paper again. Made some adjustments and had a lovely bus ride to school.
The computer lab was open and I started to print my project section by section, title page, project, reference page, appendix content sheet, and the 5 parts to the appendix. By the time I was done printing it, I had probably about 40 pages to turn in. I had to staple it into two sections, my 18 pages that I created and the 20 odd pages to the appendix.
I was happy. I felt like I really accomplished something. It wasn't perfect but it was clean and crisp. I felt like I met the assignment requirements well. I'd been working on this for weeks, when I know some students started their paper last night. It felt exciting. Like I gave it everything I could, time, energy, effort, dedication, persistence, and I was proud.
My teacher said no one ever asked him to the do this subject before. I have been working with him for the last 10 weeks to make sure I was doing it properly and even though I think he'll find areas for improvement. I feel like I met most of his requirements.
Every time I've met him he's given me feedback and helped me sculpt this into a better project. He kept me focused and guided me well through the project. He pushed me and challenged me to do something, I've never done before and it felt great.
I've never done anything like this before. I've known for years that I've been interested in social sciences and scientific research into social and gender dynamics. Especially in regards to dating and sex.
I saw that movie Kinsey with the guy I was dating at the time and I was fascinated by it. I think that would be a cool job to have, sex scientist. And that movie was so well written. I loved the way the story devises were used. The question section adding to the narrative. The interweaving of the two parts. I remember just loving the writing and the editing and the acting. It was great.
But I've always (or at least for many years) been interested into television shows that discussed the science of love, sex, and/or dating. Even if they are reality based and that aren't necessarily written creatively but definitely well and some what witty at times.
I've never really been that great at sciences like biology, or chemistry, or the such. In fact, the sciences that I have taken in college have been either the physical sciences (geology, anthropology, etc) and social sciences (psychology, etc). I really like the social sciences, especially this communication studies class.
I sorta wish I could be a communication studies major, but I can't it's too late. It's an impacted major and I'd don't have enough time to go back and take all of the requirements and graduate in the amount of time they require me to. I wish I did. And I wish they weren't so eager to push me through to graduation.
I really like school and I love being there on campus learning. I sorta wish I could be a student forever. I just love being around the thriving learning environment. It's has a strong vibe to it.
My professor told me some of the research he's working on and it all sounds so interesting. Studying imagination and trying to prove the current theory wrong or proving your own theory. There's all kinds of research available, it's just too bad I am an English major.
I guess there's nothing stopping me from being an English major and assisting in other departmental research or outside classroom learning. But it's time consuming to be a full time student.
I was away from home for 12 hours today. And most of that time was spend doing something that had to do with the classes I am currently taking.
After I turned in my Communication Studies project, I went to edit and print another paper that was do 2 hours after I had turned in my commstu project. But my second paper was an English paper. It's funny, how difficult I find my own major.
I've also been working on this English paper for several weeks. I'm not as proud of that paper, so I am not going to post it. The topic I choose was Faustus. And I struggled to come up with a thesis. I came up with great ideas and interesting observations about the text but I struggled immensely with formulating a proper thesis for the things I was observing.
I saw my T.A. 5 times about the paper in the last two weeks. I probably emailed him more than twice that many times. I also saw my teacher twice and probably emailed him about the same amount of times that I emailed my T.A. I am sure both of them were happy that the papers were do today. It meant they wouldn't be hearing from me about the satirical parallels in Dr. Faustus by Christopher Marlowe.
So I turned in the paper at 1pm and sat through a lecture about Books 11 & 12 in Paradise Lost. Before grabbing my first real bite to eat all day and checking my voicemail to find out that one of my girlfriends was dumped last night. So I spent part of my lunch trying to help her feel better.
Today must have been a female energized day because I got about half a dozen calls from females in my life today.
My girlfriend that lives in L.A. was calling to give the weekly run down of weekend happenings. While updating me on her love life and most recent exploits.
My mom called to confirm my flight information, since I text message her this morning "Oh Shit, I just realized I have a final Friday 2-23 in the morning, I can't fly out until Saturday."
Then I spent an hour in a very haphazard discussion section that was supposed to help us with the preparing for the final. My T.A. is a nice guy (and I hate to use that word) but he's pretty clueless when it comes to actually facilitating the learning process. And I have no doubt that he needs to learn some of this PUA stuff.
And after that I studied in the library for 4 hours for my English final that is on Monday....
And while I was studying I got another call each from my girlfriends and mom. On the way home, I called my friend from the Bay Area who just got dumped last night and spent a good 2 hours on the phone with her, while I was getting home on the bus (which takes about 40 minutes to do).
I really tried to help her. I tried to give her advice and techniques for dealing with this. She said she felt better and she seemed a lot less emotionally upset and she had a good outlook by the time we were done. which makes me feel good.
By the time I was done talking to her I was exhausted. And my L.A. girlfriend called. We both decided to stay in tonight, thankfully. It's a good end to a long day.
This week has been pretty long but I've also gotten a lot of things done. Like yesterday, I got my medical marijuana prescription/card. So now, I am set...I don't have to deal with hassling to find medicine anymore.
It was sorta time consuming to go out to Hollywood to see the doctor and I was in the office for 2 hours but at least it gave me a break from my papers. Plus, it could have been a lot worse. I was on my medication when I showed up and it was really funny to read the disclaimer that they have you sign. The funniest parts were when the form was describing some of the side effects of the medication.
Euphoria....hahahahaha. Talkativeness, loss of conceptual time, short term memory loss, lack of concentration, etc. The list was hilarious. I asked for a copy but they refused.
It was completely different than the first experience I had with a friend in Northern California. She asked me to go with her to renew her prescription and it had to be the strangest thing I've ever experienced.
First it wasn't in a doctor's office, it was in some Jamaican woman's apartment in Berkeley but it was more like Oakland. There were people just laying around freshly baked. She had banana bread that just melted me my chair.
We had to wait a long time, and she kept saying that the Doctor would be up in just a little while. And the whole time I'm expecting a doctor to walk through the door. Then she finally says that the Doctor is in New FUCKIN' Zealand and a goat on his farm just ate through his internet cable and he had to run to the store in town to buy a new cable so that he could teleconference via video internet.
Eventually my girlfriend went into a bedroom turned into an office and spoke to the Doctor, who was in New FUCKIN' Zealand and she got her prescription from the doctor, while I was smoking the fastest Jay I'd ever smoked with the others who were waiting in the living room.
It was the trippiest thing ever.
But it was cool, she got her script and I was happy from the banana bread and free bud they were sharing with me. I'd say sharing is caring and a friend with weed is a friend indeed.
This time I just sat in a plain office, there wasn't any banana bread or jays, just a bunch of folks waiting to see the doctor.
Medical marijuana doctors have it made. That doctor works 4 days a week for 5 hours a day (20 hours total) and brings in mad cash and has time to be with his family. And the doctor in New Zealand has it made too. Shit, If I could live in New Zealand on a farm with a goat to eat wires, It would be cool.
It was a good break, since before that I was having a heavy session with my psychologist. She's tough on me. And she really gave me so good advice and basically didn't go easy on me at all. Which was something I really needed. Tough love. I like working with her. She's really done a lot for me.
I also heard from my brother yesterday and he's doing well with the Style 505 thing. He says so far all the challenges have been self-improvement stuff and he wishes it had to do with meeting girls. But I told him that, I like all the self-improvement stuff. He told me about all the challenges.
He said the first one dealt with approach anxiety. He says he doesn't really deal with AA that much and I believe him. He doesn't have a problem going up to strangers and just talking to them.
I remember one time we were out and someone stop to give him a bible and he got into a discussion with the person and kept just asking really engaging questions. We've always been really social. I think I've become less social though over the years. I definitely seem to go through my day with my defenses (bitch shield) up a lot more. I am trying to break from that and still be social without being bothered by random men bugging me. It's hard though. Cuz I hate being bugged but at the same time I like being social.
I also signed up for my class reunion mailing list and saw Jealous Jason was already on it. I am sorta surprised because he always acting like he would NOT be interested in going to the class reunion.
It was cool to see updated pictures of him. He still looks the same, or at least I can still see the guy I used to love in his face. And he's making feature-length films from where he lives in the Bay Area, so that's cool. He always said he didn't want to move to L.A. to be a film director. And it looks like he's doing it now.
It would be interesting to see him again and caught up. I know he as a kid and I think he's married. I doubt his wife would want him to see me though. She's started dating him right after we broke up (he could never stand to be out of a relationship for very long) and they were pregnant within a few years. And I am sure they got married.
It was weird, she was a lesbian when he met her, or at least dating a girl. Oh well. I always just thought that he would have double the jealousy issues with her.
It was strange. He dumped me because he said I was selfish. And I realized I was being selfish because I had given him so much and wasn't getting the same in return. I wanted to pursue business opportunities for the business we had started together and he didn't want me to advance in the direction I was going.
At the time, I remember thinking that I'd be able to find another guy to fall in love with easily. Boy was I wrong. If I had known at the time that love was so difficult, I may have handled it differently. But because our love seemed so easy and because I was so naive, I had no idea how difficult dating could be.
I'm glad we separated because we were having communication problems and being single for the last 5 years has really given me opportunities to develop myself, independently and probably more thoroughly then I could have done in a relationship with him.
I am getting tired....This blog is going to have to continue when I have more time and when I am not exhausted. And it will also remain unedited until I can get around to finishing it up.
I am a radio of different sorts tonight.
(partially edited)
Some comments on my Communication Studies Project
I am very proud of my project. I put a lot of work into it. I have never written a social science paper or a research paper of this kind before and I am happy with the way it turned out (for the most part). I've just turned in my project to my professor.
It may not follow scientific protocol exactly but I did my best to meet the guidelines set forth by my professor.
It's very long, fifteen pages double spaces. I don't really like the way it looks double spaced so it is single spaced on my blog.
Some of the formatting was lost in the transfer from word to this blog post. For example quotes of forty or more words should be aligned differently but the blog formatting does not allow for such accommedations.
This is not a pick-up artist guide or manual. It is a content analysis of existing sources. The concepts discussed are well known concepts in the seduction community.
The quotes are used here under fair use and academic regulations. If you were quoted in this project and feel your rights were violated, please seek legal counsel. I've been advised that the sources used are not in violation of copyright laws.
It may not follow scientific protocol exactly but I did my best to meet the guidelines set forth by my professor.
It's very long, fifteen pages double spaces. I don't really like the way it looks double spaced so it is single spaced on my blog.
Some of the formatting was lost in the transfer from word to this blog post. For example quotes of forty or more words should be aligned differently but the blog formatting does not allow for such accommedations.
This is not a pick-up artist guide or manual. It is a content analysis of existing sources. The concepts discussed are well known concepts in the seduction community.
The quotes are used here under fair use and academic regulations. If you were quoted in this project and feel your rights were violated, please seek legal counsel. I've been advised that the sources used are not in violation of copyright laws.
Parallels in Seduction and Advertising regarding Evolutionary Arms Race
I. Introduction
This project explores the parallels in the evolutionary arms races of advertising and the seduction community.
The seduction community is defined as:
A loosely connected world-wide subculture of (mostly) men who strive for consistent success with attracting and seducing women. This overriding intention is facilitated with improvements of self (inner game), skills, and lifestyle. “It's about developing your self. Your skillset. Your social intelligence. Your 'alpha qualities'. Your lifestyle. Your natural attractiveness to women.” (Roman_be, 2006). This collection of attributes and abilities is what is sometimes referred to as one’s “game”.
In addition, members of this community seek greater understanding of male, female, and social psychology and dynamics. Within this community, there are individuals, businesses, and organizations with varying fundamentals, strategies, and philosophies, that offer advice, products, and services that help assist their diverging objectives.
This community is networked “together through internet forums and groups, as well as over a hundred local clubs, called ‘lairs’” (Wikipedia, 2007) and other similar local groups and gatherings. The seduction community is often referred to by its members as “the community”.
Pseudonyms are often used in the seduction community to protect the identification of members and targets. Pseudonyms are used throughout this project for the same reasons. Except in the case of the author, Neil Strauss; he uses the pseudonym Style in the seduction community. His real name and pseudonym are well known and used in the community and mainstream media coverage. This project refers to him as Neil Strauss in all instances.
The members of this community are often referred to as pick-up artists (PUA). A pick-up artist is someone skilled in the arts and non-exact sciences of seduction. For the sake of this project, seduction will refer to the following definition:
“Seduction is the use of temptation and enticement, often sexual in nature, to attract or influence the behavior of another. Traditionally, the word implied leading someone astray, as when a man lures a woman into a sexual relationship without the need to resort to force. In contemporary usage, however, seduction is used more broadly as a synonym for the act of charming someone.” (Wikipedia, 2007)
This project aims for an objective comparison of two separate but similar groups. The project will not attempt to address the morality or integrity of advertisers or pick-up artists. I do not believe that either the advertisement industry or the seduction communities are innately corrupt or dishonest. As in most groups within given societies, there are varying degrees of ethical practices with both seducers and advertisers. It would be an injustice to label all advertisers and pick-up artists as fraudulent. “Being a PUA doesn't make one inherently manipulative or dirty.” (Illpapinyc, 2006)
In regards to whether or not this community really exists, Neil Strauss, author of The Game and renowned pick-up artist, said it this way, “It really happen[s]. Men will deny it, women will doubt it. But I present it to you here, naked, vulnerable and disturbingly real. I beg you for your forgiveness in advance.”(2005)
Theoretical Frame Work of this Project
This project appears to be the first scholarly attempt to look at the seduction community, let alone to compare the seduction community practices with procedures from the advertising industry. Other sources referencing this community comes from media reviews of individuals, products, and services from the community, or from members of the community, none of which are academic in nature. This is due, in part, to the seduction community’s attempts to remain somewhat covert from mainstream media and audiences. There is a rampant fear in the community of being exposed. The reasons for which, tie directly into the topic of this paper, evolutionary arms race. Members of the seduction community fear, probably rightfully so, that wide-spread exposure would cause insurmountable competition and resistance from targets. Their schemes would have to radically evolve to continue their current status.
Both the seduction community and advertisers rely on psychology and sociology. This project works within in these related fields as it applies to its scope.“Some of the concepts in the [Seduction] community are borrowed from other disciplines, such as the concept of social proof from the psychology of influence, and various concepts from sociobiology and evolutionary psychology (such as the term 'alpha male').” (Wikipedia, 2007)
This project explores the evolutionary arms race that takes place in the seduction community by exploring tactics utilized by pick-up artists to stay ahead of competition, strategies to minimize opposition from targets, evolutionary and biological mating research, and techniques called peacocking and social proof. In addition, this project will briefly explore one reputable company utilizing these concepts in its program, The Mystery Method.
Competition is fierce in the dating world and pick-up artists take this competition against other men to its highest level. Once opponents are disarmed, members of the seduction community focus on their targets, usually highly sought-after women, and they use their knowledge to minimize any refusal to go along with the seduction. Seduction is accomplished in various ways. Knowledge of mating research is used by seducers to create and maintain attraction with women. Social proof and peacocking are methods employed to increase the desirability of the pick-up artists in the eyes of women. The Mystery Method is a highly respected company that has created the M3 Model which incorporates the strategies outlined in this project along with other proven practices. These strategies are just a few of many ways the seduction community takes advantage of the evolutionary arms race of love (and sex).
Due to the fact that there is no academic research on the seduction community, there is vast array of possibilities for further investigation that could be done. Both the advertising industry and the seduction community could learn a great deal from each other. The seduction community already uses advertising and sales techniques to their advantage. However, it is highly unlikely that advertisers pay any attention to pick-up artists. Though, if they did, they might learn important concepts that could be utilized within the advertising field.
Correspondingly, there are some very powerful concepts within the seduction community that could ultimately be beneficial to the advertising industry. One of the most powerful of which is a seduction community concept called “framing” or “frame control”. This concept is fundamentally different than the communication theory, and sociology, process of selective control over media content. (Wikipedia, 2007) It resembles more of George Lakoff’s political framing concepts. (Lakoff, 2006) It would be interesting to see research on the parallels between both pick-up artist and political framing theories.
This project was originally going to include comparisons of parallels with Ries and Trout’s positioning concepts and the seduction community. Positioning is a key concept that would ideally fall under the evolutionary arms race topic of this paper. However, due to the limited scope of this research project and time restraints, that comparison was not included. Further investigation into these comparisons could be beneficial to both the advertising industry and pick-up artists.
In addition, this project was going to have sections on “concealing the hook” and “staged surrenders”. However, proper sources were not secured in time to appropriately detail the seduction community used of these concepts.
Abstract
When concepts in the advertising industry are compared to similar concepts in the seduction community there may be parallels. The author of this project has researched numerous publications, books, articles, message boards, blogs, and other resources to collect the data that is presented within this project. The data shows evidence that members of the seduction community are aware of biological and evolutionary theories that effect seduction. This evidence further shows how that information is put into practice by pick-up artists. This project’s focus is on the less-studied seduction community as opposed to the exceedingly investigated advertising industry. Members of the seduction community exploit concepts that are also used in advertisement, to get women into bed.
Hypothesis
The dynamics of the seduction community is that of an evolutionary arms race that shares features of advertising evolutionary arms race.
II. Methods
I have done a painstaking content analysis of various websites, blogs, articles, books, message board forums, and other relevant resources to locate the information presented. Resources were selected based on their significance to the over all topic of evolutionary arms race in the seduction community. Complications arose when the scope of the project was being considered to include positioning, concealing the hook, and staged surrenders. Although, it seems apparent that there are parallels in positioning, concealing the hook, and staged surrenders in advertising and seduction it was difficult to pin point specific data from the seduction community regarding these concepts. This difficulty is probably due in part to the deviations in terminology in both groups regarding these theories. Such comparisons could be their own research project because of the amount of data that could be presented and the time it would take to gather the data.
Additional complication occurred when attempting to find graphics to add to this project. Some of the concepts presented in this project, such as peacocking and social proof, are not easily transferable into visual representations.
III. Results and Discussion
Evolutionary Arms Race in Advertisement and Seduction
The purpose in both advertisement and the seduction community is to, “learn to adapt and evolve faster than anybody else.” (Hysteria, 2006) Hysteria’s statements get at the core of what an evolution arms race is and the open-ended goals of the advertisement industry and the seduction community. “Stay two steps ahead at all times.”(Hysteria, 2006) But what is an evolutionary arms race?
The biological definition is as follows: "An evolutionary arms race is an evolutionary struggle between to competing sets of co-evolving genes that develop adaptations and counter-adaptations against each other, resembling an arms race." (Wikipedia, 2007) Metaphorically speaking, this is what happens amongst humans in both advertising and seducing. This struggle to stay ahead of competitors’ advances and prospects’ defenses is symbolically an evolutionary arms race.
However, staying ahead has no specific end points or conclusive destinations. "Arms race is also used to describe any competition where there is no absolute goal, only relative goals of staying ahead of the other competitors [and prospects]." (Wikipedia, 2007) Advertisers and seducers have to continually evolve their strategies because the tactics that they develop quickly lose efficiency when their targets develop resistances to those strategies.
"There is an arms race between advertisers and their potential customers." (Steen, 2007) As advertisers’ prospects develop opposition to ad tactics, the advertisers upgrade and innovate strategies to counter those resistances. "In a co-evolutionary arms race, audiences gradually learn to resist advertisers' techniques." (Steen, 2007) Professor Steen is currently researching and developing further work regarding the evolutionary arms race in advertising. This project takes a focused look at the evolutionary arms race in the seduction community. "Sex is an evolutionary puzzle." (Wikipedia, 2007)
“The male’s goal is seduction: He is trying to manipulate the female into falling for his charms, to get inside her head and steer her mind his way. The evolutionary pressure is on him to perfect displays that make her well disposed toward him and sexually aroused so that he can be certain of mating.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 161)
The seduction community is aware of evolution and its effect on the seduction process. The community aims to stay ahead of competitors (other single men) and targets (desirable women). “Fact is, being successful with girls (or at least better than the average Joe) is about adapting your own [behavior],” (Borris, 2006) Pick-up artists seek out resources, such as existing research, that will aid their over-all seduction efforts. "Books such as The Red Queen by Matt Ridley, Sperm Wars by Robin Baker, and The Mating Mind by Geoffrey Miller are frequently cited in the community.” (Wikipedia, 2007) As demonstrated in the following quote:
“For the aspiring pick-up artist, The Red Queen is an invaluable text that provides useful information on how our social interaction has evolved over thousands of years. And how it continues to evolve. The Red Queen not only tells you how we got here, but provides solid scientific evidence that you need to constantly improve your game.” (Strauss, 2006, p.2)
“Game” is a term used to reference pick-up artists’ attributes and abilities. The seduction community works towards advancing its skills and strategies to stay ahead of their competition. “The struggle for seduction never gets easier. However well a pick-up artist may adapt his game, he can never relax, because the hard bodies and alpha-males [competitors] are also adapting their tactics. Seduction is a zero-sum game.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 2) The pick-up artists take into account other economically-desirable (available) males and adopt strategies to make themselves just as valuable. “The technologies of seduction have been developed to help even the playing field.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 5)
However, other men are not the solitary concern of members of the community. Pick-up artists also are anxious with the evolutionary advances of their targets, attractive ladies. As stated below:
“You must constantly refine your game. Seek to grow beyond just spitting out canned routines and pick-up techniques you’ve memorized. Always be learning, and then challenge yourself to grow beyond what you’ve learned. Become your own guru. Because you can bet that whatever technique you’re memorizing, someone else is working on the antidote.” (Strauss, 2006, p.2)
The evolutionary arms race defenses that women adapt in response to the pick-up artist‘s routines are a worry many in the seduction community are concerned with. “If women start to get bombarded with "the game" [pick-up artist’s routines] then you had better believe they will adapt defenses against it.” (Merlin, 2006) Some of these men are worried that they will not be able to develop co-adaptations to the oppositions women form. They realize the divergent goals of the genders.
Male and female aspirations in seduction are evolutionarily different. Female intuitively seek a solitary-quality mate, whereas males viscerally try to find multiple partners, as discussed in this passage:
“Ridley explains that the instinctual goal for every female animal is to find a mate with the genetic makeup necessary to be a good husband, a good father, or a good sire. Male animals, on the other hand, have a goal of locating as many wives and mothers as possible.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 3)
“While it’s easy to think every human being is idiosyncratic and unique, the book [The Red Queen] explains how our mating choices are the result of evolutionary and biological pressures over thousands of years.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 7) There are natural reasons for the discrepancies between the genders’ pairing-off preferences.
“In 1972, Robert Trivers explained why the genders have such disparate goals. The gender that invest[s] the most in children (such as the way women carry a fetus for nine months) is the one that has the least to gain from an extra mating. The gender that invest[s] the least has extra time to spend searching for other mates.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 3)
“Therefore, broadly speaking, males invest less and seek quantity of mates, while females invest more and seek quality of mates.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 133) These diverse objectives create very interesting sexual dynamics. “Because of those different goals, scientists define a reality that every man who has ever entered a singles club immediately learns.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 3) “Males compete for the attention of females.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 133) Women therefore choose and men do the best they can to be chosen. Leaving the men to figure out what choices women prefer to make. In other words, what women find attractive. The seduction community has a large arsenal of knowledge regarding attractive traits women are drawn to.
“In a monogamous society a woman often chooses a mate long before he has had a chance to become a ‘chief’, and she must look for clues to his future potential rather than rely only on past achievements. Poise, self assurance, optimism, efficiency, perseverance, courage, decisiveness, intelligence, ambition--these are the things that cause men to rise to the top of their professions. And not coincidentally, these are the things women find attractive.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 298)
Women have to be perceptive when evaluating the possible successes of would-be suitors. A man’s previous triumphs (or lack of) are not always a clear indication of imminent value. So women often look for characteristics within budding beaus.
“If you [the pick-up artist] exhibit the right traits, then women will take a bet on you. They’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, even though you may not have the corner office just yet. They’re guessing that, based on your personality, you will some day.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 6)
This evolutionary knowledge is used by men in the seduction community to their advantage in various ways. Two such ways are strategies called peacocking and social proof.
"In addition, males and females must spend resources to attract and compete for mates." (Wikipedia, 2007) The usage of these assets is onerous to both the sexes. “Females choose; their choosiness is inherited; they prefer exaggerated ornaments; exaggerated ornaments are a burden to males. That much is now uncontroversial.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 138) The pick-up artists have a term and technique for using “exaggerated ornaments” and the intrinsic burden of these ornaments. The strategy is called peacocking. “Peacocking means dressing for attention” (Urban Dictionary, 2007)
“The term is derived from the courting rituals of the peacock. The male peacock grows an exceptionally long and colorful tail to attract a mate. The long and colorful tail is at best useless and at worst a hindrance (it gets in the way and attracts predators). What a male peacock with a great tail is communicating is ‘I am so good at surviving and protecting myself that I can afford the disadvantage of this tail‘. Female peacocks are attracted to the underlying strength of this kind of male peacock.” (Savoy, 2005)
The seduction community uses “peacocking” as one of many weapons in its armoires to stay ahead of their competition and to advance in the seduction of their target. “Inherently, peacocking, like all pick-up techniques, isn’t meant to be easy.” (Strauss, 2006, p.3)
“We tend to think it’s the woman’s place to be uncomfortable. High-heels, push-up bras, tight shirts, and waxed eyebrows (and other body parts!) are just part of being a fashionable, attractive woman. But to be a successful pick-up artist, you have to be willing to carry some of that burden yourself.” (Strauss, 2006, p.3)
Pick-up artists take on these extra obligations to appeal to female evolutionary desires and to separate themselves from other men. They do this as an act of poise, control, and uniqueness.
“It may feel uncomfortable or not cool sometimes, but it conveys confidence and leadership and individuality when you’re wearing those clothes (as opposed to letting them wear you). And though we [pick-up artists] weren’t born with antlers or colorful tail feathers, fortunately we can purchase and adorn the equivalent.” (Strauss, 2006, p.3)
Peacocking is a delicate art that takes a lot of self-awareness and skill to master. And it is not the only item in the seduction community’s cannon of evolutionary-seduction knowledge. Another instrument that is influenced by evolution and used in the seduction community is “social proof”. “The concept that when you [the pick-up artists] are seen with other women your social status is raised in the eyes of Hbs [hot babes] in the near vicinity.” (Fast Seduction, 2007) This concept has been proven in guppy fish.
“In guppy fish, females that have been allowed to see two males, one of which is already courting a female, subsequently prefer that [already attached] male to the other even if the female that was being courted is longer present.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 146)
“Obviously, social proof is effective, even in the animal kingdom.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 4) “Social proof is basically a synonym for being ‘popular‘; if a lot of other people like me, you will probably like me too.” (Steve, 2006) “If you're with a good-looking and charming person, it raises your esteem in the eyes of others.” (Dolly, 2006) Social Proof can be further explained with the following quote:
“Social value of unfamiliar people is ambiguous and requires a lot of effort to assess accurately. Given limited time and motivation, other people will often evaluate others based on how surrounding people behave towards them. For example, if a man is perceived to be in a company of attractive women, or is associated with them, then his perceived social value and attractiveness will be perceived to be greater. The implied cognition in this case would be ‘All those girls seem to really like him, there must be something about him that's high value‘. If he is seen to be rejected by many women, his social value will be judged negatively. The implied cognition is then ‘I just saw him being rejected by many women, there is probably a good reason why they don't like him‘.” (Wikipedia, 2007)
In the above example, a man does not have to be rejected by “many women” to suffer the consequences of negative social proof; it only takes one female to reject a man to taint the surrounding women’s social impression of that man. A similar cognition to the latter one made in the above quote still applies.
Beautiful women are not always readily available when needed in social situations. So, “some men use photos of themselves surrounded by attractive women to enhance their perceived social value.” (Wikipedia, 2007) This social value can be aided with the help of a digital camera, which some pick-up artists carry with them to show photos to women they meet. In addition, social proof can be achieved without a camera or beautiful women on one’s arms, by using storytelling to sub-communicate that desirable women are already apart of the storytellers life. “Storytelling is a crucial tool in your [pick-up artist] arsenal.” (Savoy, 2005)
“Seduction techniques such as peacocking, social proof, and projecting confidence work in the animal kingdom as well as among humans.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 7) In addition, members of the seduction community use the evolutionary methods to stand out from the competition and seduce the target.
The Mystery Method Corporation is a well thought-of company in the seduction community that offers products and services that make the most of the evolutionary arms race concepts discussed in the project, as well as many other field proven fundamentals and strategies. The M3 model takes trends normally found in sexual relationships and creates an easy to follow method for successfully achieving seduction consistently. “It normally takes 4 to 10 hours of time with her to build enough comfort, connection, and trust in order to have sex.” (The Mystery Method, 2005) This model suggests superior ways to progress through to the final stages of seduction and outlines important concepts for over coming resistance. There is even a stage within the model that addresses the targets’ refusal to go along the seduction, called last minute resistance. The Mystery Method has evolved their M3 model to stay ahead of competition’s developments and targets’ opposition. Unfortunately, the new model’s release corresponds closely to the completion of this project and was not made available to be added in time. Nonetheless, it includes important advances in transitions, relationship management, and other conceptual areas.
Finally the hypothesis of this project is proven with the data presented above. More reliable resources would have been helpful to explain further the concept of social proof. However, the information detailed in the project is significant for the purposes of this research paper. The implication of these parallels could be exploited by both the advertising industry and the seduction community to further progress their strategies. Further parallels between the two groups could prove even more beneficial.
IV. Conclusion
Both the advertising industry and the seduction community participate in evolutionary arms races. Pick-up artists bring into play evolutionary arms race strategies to seduce women and out perform competitors. These men make themselves more sought-after with techniques such as peacocking and social proof which have basis in evolutionary research. They also display confidence. “Body language matters for male sexiness.” (Ridley, 2003) To generate and sustain desirability in women, members of the seduction community use research on mating information to their benefit. The main defined goals of the seduction community are to stay ahead of competitors’ progress and targets’ defiance.
The validity of these findings relies heavily on the integrity of sources. Many of the pick-up artists techniques have grounding in proven theories and all of them have been field tested and retested by hundreds (if not thousands) of pick-up artists world wide. Since there are no scientific studies being conducted on the seduction community’s techniques, proven field testing will have to suffice. If these strategies were not valid or did not work, the seduction community would find, develop, or impose strategies that did. With that stated some of the quotations within this project are purely opinion and should be regarded as such.
It should be noted that the sources obtained from wikipedia, especially regarding the seduction community, may be under dispute and their validity may be under discussion. For further details on specific disputes and discussions, www.wikipedia.com should be consulted.
There are plenty of other fundamentals from the seduction community that could be linked to the evolutionary arms race theory, however, the scope of this project has been met and it would be difficult to catalog all such strategies.
The other unanswered aspect of this project relates to the evolutionary arms race in the advertising industry. This theory is currently being handled by Professor Francis Steen.
In general, it can be said that men and women natural have an evolutionary arms race struggle against each other, however, the pick-up artist bring a wide array of categorical and effective weaponry tactics to this ageless battle.
Which leaves the question; what, if any, defenses have the modern woman develop against these seduction community techniques and strategies?
References
~Pseudonyms are used in the seduction community by pick-up artists (PUA). Pseudonyms are listed within this project and its reference list. Pseudonyms are followed by a comma and the abbreviation PUA on the list below.
* Appendix could not be made available in the format of this blog. Appendix sources are only available in their original format and locations.
Merlin, PUA (2006, January 27) The Game: the movie thread. Retrieved March 1, 2007.
http://www.themysterymethod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4691&page=3&highlight=attraction+switches
Borris, PUA (2006, February 24) The Game: the movie thread Retrieved March 1, 2007
http://www.themysterymethod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4691&page=5&highlight=attraction+switches
Hysteria, PUA (2006, February 24) The Game: the movie thread Retrieved March 1, 2007
http://www.themysterymethod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4691&page=7&highlight=attraction+switches
Illpapinyc, PUA (2006, February 27) The Game: the movie thread Retrieved March 1, 2007
http://www.themysterymethod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4691&page=12&highlight=attraction+switches
Hysteria, PUA (2006, July 17) The Game is up (the sky is falling chicken little) Retrieved March 1, 2006
http://www.themysterymethod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7983&page=4&highlight=evolve
Roman_be, PUA (2007, January 27) The Game is up (the sky is falling chicken little)
Retrieved March 1, 2006
http://www.themysterymethod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7983&page=5&highlight=evolve
Strauss, N. (2006, July) The red queen: study guide Stylelife. Retrieved February 27, 2007
(see appendix)* Exact of location of this source is not public.
Strauss, N. (2005) The game New York, ReganBooks.
Ridley, M (2003) The red queen New York, Harper Perennial.
Wikipedia, “Evolutionary arms race” Retrieved March 3, 2007 from
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolutionary_arms_race
Wikipedia, “Arms race” Retrieved March 3, 2007 from
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arms_race
Wikipedia, “Red queen” Retrieved March 3, 2007 from
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Queen
Wikpedia, “Seduction Community” Retrieved March 7, 2007
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seduction_community
Wikipedia, “Seduction” Retrieved March 8, 2007
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seduction
Wikipedia, “Social proof” Retrieved March 10, 2007
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_proof
Wikipedia, “Framing” Retrieved March 10, 2007
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Framing_(telecommunication)
Steen, F. “Class Lecture Notes” (2007)
(see appendix) * Exact location of this source is not public
Urban Dictionary “Peacocking” Retrieved March 8, 2007
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=peacocking
Savoy, PUA; (2005)“Fashion & lifestyle -- OAP issue 7”
(see appendix)* Enrollment in OAP is require. Enrollment can be done through this blog or on www.themysterymethod.com
Savoy, PUA; (2005) “Attraction OAP issue 3”
(see appendix) * Enrollment in OAP is require. Enrollment can be done through this blog or on http://www.themysterymethod.com/
Steve, PUA (2006) “Games are for children: be happy, be yourself” Retrieved March 10, 2007
http://www.gamesareforchildren.com/archives/396-Social-Proof.html
Dolly, female PUA advocate (2006) “Bf ‘social proof’ David” Retrieved March 10, 2007
http://cocksanddolls.blogspot.com/2006/06/bf-social-proof-david.html
Lakoff, G. (February 14, 2006) “Simple framing: an introduction to framing and its use in politics” Retrieved March 10, 2007
http://www.rockridgeinstitute.org/projects/strategic/simple_framing
Fast Seduction “Common acronyms/slang used on alt.seduction.fast” Retrieved March 10, 2007
http://www.fastseduction.com/acronyms.shtml
The Mystery Method “The M3 model” Retrieved March 14, 2007
http://www.themysterymethod.com/downloads/M3Model.ppt
Schizo, PUA "Blog Post Comment" (March 9, 2007)
https://www2.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4965447022861164429&postID=8900391898894468701
This project explores the parallels in the evolutionary arms races of advertising and the seduction community.
The seduction community is defined as:
A loosely connected world-wide subculture of (mostly) men who strive for consistent success with attracting and seducing women. This overriding intention is facilitated with improvements of self (inner game), skills, and lifestyle. “It's about developing your self. Your skillset. Your social intelligence. Your 'alpha qualities'. Your lifestyle. Your natural attractiveness to women.” (Roman_be, 2006). This collection of attributes and abilities is what is sometimes referred to as one’s “game”.
In addition, members of this community seek greater understanding of male, female, and social psychology and dynamics. Within this community, there are individuals, businesses, and organizations with varying fundamentals, strategies, and philosophies, that offer advice, products, and services that help assist their diverging objectives.
This community is networked “together through internet forums and groups, as well as over a hundred local clubs, called ‘lairs’” (Wikipedia, 2007) and other similar local groups and gatherings. The seduction community is often referred to by its members as “the community”.
Pseudonyms are often used in the seduction community to protect the identification of members and targets. Pseudonyms are used throughout this project for the same reasons. Except in the case of the author, Neil Strauss; he uses the pseudonym Style in the seduction community. His real name and pseudonym are well known and used in the community and mainstream media coverage. This project refers to him as Neil Strauss in all instances.
The members of this community are often referred to as pick-up artists (PUA). A pick-up artist is someone skilled in the arts and non-exact sciences of seduction. For the sake of this project, seduction will refer to the following definition:
“Seduction is the use of temptation and enticement, often sexual in nature, to attract or influence the behavior of another. Traditionally, the word implied leading someone astray, as when a man lures a woman into a sexual relationship without the need to resort to force. In contemporary usage, however, seduction is used more broadly as a synonym for the act of charming someone.” (Wikipedia, 2007)
This project aims for an objective comparison of two separate but similar groups. The project will not attempt to address the morality or integrity of advertisers or pick-up artists. I do not believe that either the advertisement industry or the seduction communities are innately corrupt or dishonest. As in most groups within given societies, there are varying degrees of ethical practices with both seducers and advertisers. It would be an injustice to label all advertisers and pick-up artists as fraudulent. “Being a PUA doesn't make one inherently manipulative or dirty.” (Illpapinyc, 2006)
In regards to whether or not this community really exists, Neil Strauss, author of The Game and renowned pick-up artist, said it this way, “It really happen[s]. Men will deny it, women will doubt it. But I present it to you here, naked, vulnerable and disturbingly real. I beg you for your forgiveness in advance.”(2005)
Theoretical Frame Work of this Project
This project appears to be the first scholarly attempt to look at the seduction community, let alone to compare the seduction community practices with procedures from the advertising industry. Other sources referencing this community comes from media reviews of individuals, products, and services from the community, or from members of the community, none of which are academic in nature. This is due, in part, to the seduction community’s attempts to remain somewhat covert from mainstream media and audiences. There is a rampant fear in the community of being exposed. The reasons for which, tie directly into the topic of this paper, evolutionary arms race. Members of the seduction community fear, probably rightfully so, that wide-spread exposure would cause insurmountable competition and resistance from targets. Their schemes would have to radically evolve to continue their current status.
Both the seduction community and advertisers rely on psychology and sociology. This project works within in these related fields as it applies to its scope.“Some of the concepts in the [Seduction] community are borrowed from other disciplines, such as the concept of social proof from the psychology of influence, and various concepts from sociobiology and evolutionary psychology (such as the term 'alpha male').” (Wikipedia, 2007)
This project explores the evolutionary arms race that takes place in the seduction community by exploring tactics utilized by pick-up artists to stay ahead of competition, strategies to minimize opposition from targets, evolutionary and biological mating research, and techniques called peacocking and social proof. In addition, this project will briefly explore one reputable company utilizing these concepts in its program, The Mystery Method.
Competition is fierce in the dating world and pick-up artists take this competition against other men to its highest level. Once opponents are disarmed, members of the seduction community focus on their targets, usually highly sought-after women, and they use their knowledge to minimize any refusal to go along with the seduction. Seduction is accomplished in various ways. Knowledge of mating research is used by seducers to create and maintain attraction with women. Social proof and peacocking are methods employed to increase the desirability of the pick-up artists in the eyes of women. The Mystery Method is a highly respected company that has created the M3 Model which incorporates the strategies outlined in this project along with other proven practices. These strategies are just a few of many ways the seduction community takes advantage of the evolutionary arms race of love (and sex).
Due to the fact that there is no academic research on the seduction community, there is vast array of possibilities for further investigation that could be done. Both the advertising industry and the seduction community could learn a great deal from each other. The seduction community already uses advertising and sales techniques to their advantage. However, it is highly unlikely that advertisers pay any attention to pick-up artists. Though, if they did, they might learn important concepts that could be utilized within the advertising field.
Correspondingly, there are some very powerful concepts within the seduction community that could ultimately be beneficial to the advertising industry. One of the most powerful of which is a seduction community concept called “framing” or “frame control”. This concept is fundamentally different than the communication theory, and sociology, process of selective control over media content. (Wikipedia, 2007) It resembles more of George Lakoff’s political framing concepts. (Lakoff, 2006) It would be interesting to see research on the parallels between both pick-up artist and political framing theories.
This project was originally going to include comparisons of parallels with Ries and Trout’s positioning concepts and the seduction community. Positioning is a key concept that would ideally fall under the evolutionary arms race topic of this paper. However, due to the limited scope of this research project and time restraints, that comparison was not included. Further investigation into these comparisons could be beneficial to both the advertising industry and pick-up artists.
In addition, this project was going to have sections on “concealing the hook” and “staged surrenders”. However, proper sources were not secured in time to appropriately detail the seduction community used of these concepts.
Abstract
When concepts in the advertising industry are compared to similar concepts in the seduction community there may be parallels. The author of this project has researched numerous publications, books, articles, message boards, blogs, and other resources to collect the data that is presented within this project. The data shows evidence that members of the seduction community are aware of biological and evolutionary theories that effect seduction. This evidence further shows how that information is put into practice by pick-up artists. This project’s focus is on the less-studied seduction community as opposed to the exceedingly investigated advertising industry. Members of the seduction community exploit concepts that are also used in advertisement, to get women into bed.
Hypothesis
The dynamics of the seduction community is that of an evolutionary arms race that shares features of advertising evolutionary arms race.
II. Methods
I have done a painstaking content analysis of various websites, blogs, articles, books, message board forums, and other relevant resources to locate the information presented. Resources were selected based on their significance to the over all topic of evolutionary arms race in the seduction community. Complications arose when the scope of the project was being considered to include positioning, concealing the hook, and staged surrenders. Although, it seems apparent that there are parallels in positioning, concealing the hook, and staged surrenders in advertising and seduction it was difficult to pin point specific data from the seduction community regarding these concepts. This difficulty is probably due in part to the deviations in terminology in both groups regarding these theories. Such comparisons could be their own research project because of the amount of data that could be presented and the time it would take to gather the data.
Additional complication occurred when attempting to find graphics to add to this project. Some of the concepts presented in this project, such as peacocking and social proof, are not easily transferable into visual representations.
III. Results and Discussion
Evolutionary Arms Race in Advertisement and Seduction
The purpose in both advertisement and the seduction community is to, “learn to adapt and evolve faster than anybody else.” (Hysteria, 2006) Hysteria’s statements get at the core of what an evolution arms race is and the open-ended goals of the advertisement industry and the seduction community. “Stay two steps ahead at all times.”(Hysteria, 2006) But what is an evolutionary arms race?
The biological definition is as follows: "An evolutionary arms race is an evolutionary struggle between to competing sets of co-evolving genes that develop adaptations and counter-adaptations against each other, resembling an arms race." (Wikipedia, 2007) Metaphorically speaking, this is what happens amongst humans in both advertising and seducing. This struggle to stay ahead of competitors’ advances and prospects’ defenses is symbolically an evolutionary arms race.
However, staying ahead has no specific end points or conclusive destinations. "Arms race is also used to describe any competition where there is no absolute goal, only relative goals of staying ahead of the other competitors [and prospects]." (Wikipedia, 2007) Advertisers and seducers have to continually evolve their strategies because the tactics that they develop quickly lose efficiency when their targets develop resistances to those strategies.
"There is an arms race between advertisers and their potential customers." (Steen, 2007) As advertisers’ prospects develop opposition to ad tactics, the advertisers upgrade and innovate strategies to counter those resistances. "In a co-evolutionary arms race, audiences gradually learn to resist advertisers' techniques." (Steen, 2007) Professor Steen is currently researching and developing further work regarding the evolutionary arms race in advertising. This project takes a focused look at the evolutionary arms race in the seduction community. "Sex is an evolutionary puzzle." (Wikipedia, 2007)
“The male’s goal is seduction: He is trying to manipulate the female into falling for his charms, to get inside her head and steer her mind his way. The evolutionary pressure is on him to perfect displays that make her well disposed toward him and sexually aroused so that he can be certain of mating.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 161)
The seduction community is aware of evolution and its effect on the seduction process. The community aims to stay ahead of competitors (other single men) and targets (desirable women). “Fact is, being successful with girls (or at least better than the average Joe) is about adapting your own [behavior],” (Borris, 2006) Pick-up artists seek out resources, such as existing research, that will aid their over-all seduction efforts. "Books such as The Red Queen by Matt Ridley, Sperm Wars by Robin Baker, and The Mating Mind by Geoffrey Miller are frequently cited in the community.” (Wikipedia, 2007) As demonstrated in the following quote:
“For the aspiring pick-up artist, The Red Queen is an invaluable text that provides useful information on how our social interaction has evolved over thousands of years. And how it continues to evolve. The Red Queen not only tells you how we got here, but provides solid scientific evidence that you need to constantly improve your game.” (Strauss, 2006, p.2)
“Game” is a term used to reference pick-up artists’ attributes and abilities. The seduction community works towards advancing its skills and strategies to stay ahead of their competition. “The struggle for seduction never gets easier. However well a pick-up artist may adapt his game, he can never relax, because the hard bodies and alpha-males [competitors] are also adapting their tactics. Seduction is a zero-sum game.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 2) The pick-up artists take into account other economically-desirable (available) males and adopt strategies to make themselves just as valuable. “The technologies of seduction have been developed to help even the playing field.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 5)
However, other men are not the solitary concern of members of the community. Pick-up artists also are anxious with the evolutionary advances of their targets, attractive ladies. As stated below:
“You must constantly refine your game. Seek to grow beyond just spitting out canned routines and pick-up techniques you’ve memorized. Always be learning, and then challenge yourself to grow beyond what you’ve learned. Become your own guru. Because you can bet that whatever technique you’re memorizing, someone else is working on the antidote.” (Strauss, 2006, p.2)
The evolutionary arms race defenses that women adapt in response to the pick-up artist‘s routines are a worry many in the seduction community are concerned with. “If women start to get bombarded with "the game" [pick-up artist’s routines] then you had better believe they will adapt defenses against it.” (Merlin, 2006) Some of these men are worried that they will not be able to develop co-adaptations to the oppositions women form. They realize the divergent goals of the genders.
Male and female aspirations in seduction are evolutionarily different. Female intuitively seek a solitary-quality mate, whereas males viscerally try to find multiple partners, as discussed in this passage:
“Ridley explains that the instinctual goal for every female animal is to find a mate with the genetic makeup necessary to be a good husband, a good father, or a good sire. Male animals, on the other hand, have a goal of locating as many wives and mothers as possible.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 3)
“While it’s easy to think every human being is idiosyncratic and unique, the book [The Red Queen] explains how our mating choices are the result of evolutionary and biological pressures over thousands of years.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 7) There are natural reasons for the discrepancies between the genders’ pairing-off preferences.
“In 1972, Robert Trivers explained why the genders have such disparate goals. The gender that invest[s] the most in children (such as the way women carry a fetus for nine months) is the one that has the least to gain from an extra mating. The gender that invest[s] the least has extra time to spend searching for other mates.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 3)
“Therefore, broadly speaking, males invest less and seek quantity of mates, while females invest more and seek quality of mates.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 133) These diverse objectives create very interesting sexual dynamics. “Because of those different goals, scientists define a reality that every man who has ever entered a singles club immediately learns.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 3) “Males compete for the attention of females.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 133) Women therefore choose and men do the best they can to be chosen. Leaving the men to figure out what choices women prefer to make. In other words, what women find attractive. The seduction community has a large arsenal of knowledge regarding attractive traits women are drawn to.
“In a monogamous society a woman often chooses a mate long before he has had a chance to become a ‘chief’, and she must look for clues to his future potential rather than rely only on past achievements. Poise, self assurance, optimism, efficiency, perseverance, courage, decisiveness, intelligence, ambition--these are the things that cause men to rise to the top of their professions. And not coincidentally, these are the things women find attractive.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 298)
Women have to be perceptive when evaluating the possible successes of would-be suitors. A man’s previous triumphs (or lack of) are not always a clear indication of imminent value. So women often look for characteristics within budding beaus.
“If you [the pick-up artist] exhibit the right traits, then women will take a bet on you. They’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, even though you may not have the corner office just yet. They’re guessing that, based on your personality, you will some day.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 6)
This evolutionary knowledge is used by men in the seduction community to their advantage in various ways. Two such ways are strategies called peacocking and social proof.
"In addition, males and females must spend resources to attract and compete for mates." (Wikipedia, 2007) The usage of these assets is onerous to both the sexes. “Females choose; their choosiness is inherited; they prefer exaggerated ornaments; exaggerated ornaments are a burden to males. That much is now uncontroversial.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 138) The pick-up artists have a term and technique for using “exaggerated ornaments” and the intrinsic burden of these ornaments. The strategy is called peacocking. “Peacocking means dressing for attention” (Urban Dictionary, 2007)
“The term is derived from the courting rituals of the peacock. The male peacock grows an exceptionally long and colorful tail to attract a mate. The long and colorful tail is at best useless and at worst a hindrance (it gets in the way and attracts predators). What a male peacock with a great tail is communicating is ‘I am so good at surviving and protecting myself that I can afford the disadvantage of this tail‘. Female peacocks are attracted to the underlying strength of this kind of male peacock.” (Savoy, 2005)
The seduction community uses “peacocking” as one of many weapons in its armoires to stay ahead of their competition and to advance in the seduction of their target. “Inherently, peacocking, like all pick-up techniques, isn’t meant to be easy.” (Strauss, 2006, p.3)
“We tend to think it’s the woman’s place to be uncomfortable. High-heels, push-up bras, tight shirts, and waxed eyebrows (and other body parts!) are just part of being a fashionable, attractive woman. But to be a successful pick-up artist, you have to be willing to carry some of that burden yourself.” (Strauss, 2006, p.3)
Pick-up artists take on these extra obligations to appeal to female evolutionary desires and to separate themselves from other men. They do this as an act of poise, control, and uniqueness.
“It may feel uncomfortable or not cool sometimes, but it conveys confidence and leadership and individuality when you’re wearing those clothes (as opposed to letting them wear you). And though we [pick-up artists] weren’t born with antlers or colorful tail feathers, fortunately we can purchase and adorn the equivalent.” (Strauss, 2006, p.3)
Peacocking is a delicate art that takes a lot of self-awareness and skill to master. And it is not the only item in the seduction community’s cannon of evolutionary-seduction knowledge. Another instrument that is influenced by evolution and used in the seduction community is “social proof”. “The concept that when you [the pick-up artists] are seen with other women your social status is raised in the eyes of Hbs [hot babes] in the near vicinity.” (Fast Seduction, 2007) This concept has been proven in guppy fish.
“In guppy fish, females that have been allowed to see two males, one of which is already courting a female, subsequently prefer that [already attached] male to the other even if the female that was being courted is longer present.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 146)
“Obviously, social proof is effective, even in the animal kingdom.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 4) “Social proof is basically a synonym for being ‘popular‘; if a lot of other people like me, you will probably like me too.” (Steve, 2006) “If you're with a good-looking and charming person, it raises your esteem in the eyes of others.” (Dolly, 2006) Social Proof can be further explained with the following quote:
“Social value of unfamiliar people is ambiguous and requires a lot of effort to assess accurately. Given limited time and motivation, other people will often evaluate others based on how surrounding people behave towards them. For example, if a man is perceived to be in a company of attractive women, or is associated with them, then his perceived social value and attractiveness will be perceived to be greater. The implied cognition in this case would be ‘All those girls seem to really like him, there must be something about him that's high value‘. If he is seen to be rejected by many women, his social value will be judged negatively. The implied cognition is then ‘I just saw him being rejected by many women, there is probably a good reason why they don't like him‘.” (Wikipedia, 2007)
In the above example, a man does not have to be rejected by “many women” to suffer the consequences of negative social proof; it only takes one female to reject a man to taint the surrounding women’s social impression of that man. A similar cognition to the latter one made in the above quote still applies.
Beautiful women are not always readily available when needed in social situations. So, “some men use photos of themselves surrounded by attractive women to enhance their perceived social value.” (Wikipedia, 2007) This social value can be aided with the help of a digital camera, which some pick-up artists carry with them to show photos to women they meet. In addition, social proof can be achieved without a camera or beautiful women on one’s arms, by using storytelling to sub-communicate that desirable women are already apart of the storytellers life. “Storytelling is a crucial tool in your [pick-up artist] arsenal.” (Savoy, 2005)
“Seduction techniques such as peacocking, social proof, and projecting confidence work in the animal kingdom as well as among humans.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 7) In addition, members of the seduction community use the evolutionary methods to stand out from the competition and seduce the target.
The Mystery Method Corporation is a well thought-of company in the seduction community that offers products and services that make the most of the evolutionary arms race concepts discussed in the project, as well as many other field proven fundamentals and strategies. The M3 model takes trends normally found in sexual relationships and creates an easy to follow method for successfully achieving seduction consistently. “It normally takes 4 to 10 hours of time with her to build enough comfort, connection, and trust in order to have sex.” (The Mystery Method, 2005) This model suggests superior ways to progress through to the final stages of seduction and outlines important concepts for over coming resistance. There is even a stage within the model that addresses the targets’ refusal to go along the seduction, called last minute resistance. The Mystery Method has evolved their M3 model to stay ahead of competition’s developments and targets’ opposition. Unfortunately, the new model’s release corresponds closely to the completion of this project and was not made available to be added in time. Nonetheless, it includes important advances in transitions, relationship management, and other conceptual areas.
Finally the hypothesis of this project is proven with the data presented above. More reliable resources would have been helpful to explain further the concept of social proof. However, the information detailed in the project is significant for the purposes of this research paper. The implication of these parallels could be exploited by both the advertising industry and the seduction community to further progress their strategies. Further parallels between the two groups could prove even more beneficial.
IV. Conclusion
Both the advertising industry and the seduction community participate in evolutionary arms races. Pick-up artists bring into play evolutionary arms race strategies to seduce women and out perform competitors. These men make themselves more sought-after with techniques such as peacocking and social proof which have basis in evolutionary research. They also display confidence. “Body language matters for male sexiness.” (Ridley, 2003) To generate and sustain desirability in women, members of the seduction community use research on mating information to their benefit. The main defined goals of the seduction community are to stay ahead of competitors’ progress and targets’ defiance.
The validity of these findings relies heavily on the integrity of sources. Many of the pick-up artists techniques have grounding in proven theories and all of them have been field tested and retested by hundreds (if not thousands) of pick-up artists world wide. Since there are no scientific studies being conducted on the seduction community’s techniques, proven field testing will have to suffice. If these strategies were not valid or did not work, the seduction community would find, develop, or impose strategies that did. With that stated some of the quotations within this project are purely opinion and should be regarded as such.
It should be noted that the sources obtained from wikipedia, especially regarding the seduction community, may be under dispute and their validity may be under discussion. For further details on specific disputes and discussions, www.wikipedia.com should be consulted.
There are plenty of other fundamentals from the seduction community that could be linked to the evolutionary arms race theory, however, the scope of this project has been met and it would be difficult to catalog all such strategies.
The other unanswered aspect of this project relates to the evolutionary arms race in the advertising industry. This theory is currently being handled by Professor Francis Steen.
In general, it can be said that men and women natural have an evolutionary arms race struggle against each other, however, the pick-up artist bring a wide array of categorical and effective weaponry tactics to this ageless battle.
Which leaves the question; what, if any, defenses have the modern woman develop against these seduction community techniques and strategies?
References
~Pseudonyms are used in the seduction community by pick-up artists (PUA). Pseudonyms are listed within this project and its reference list. Pseudonyms are followed by a comma and the abbreviation PUA on the list below.
* Appendix could not be made available in the format of this blog. Appendix sources are only available in their original format and locations.
Merlin, PUA (2006, January 27) The Game: the movie thread. Retrieved March 1, 2007.
http://www.themysterymethod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4691&page=3&highlight=attraction+switches
Borris, PUA (2006, February 24) The Game: the movie thread Retrieved March 1, 2007
http://www.themysterymethod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4691&page=5&highlight=attraction+switches
Hysteria, PUA (2006, February 24) The Game: the movie thread Retrieved March 1, 2007
http://www.themysterymethod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4691&page=7&highlight=attraction+switches
Illpapinyc, PUA (2006, February 27) The Game: the movie thread Retrieved March 1, 2007
http://www.themysterymethod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4691&page=12&highlight=attraction+switches
Hysteria, PUA (2006, July 17) The Game is up (the sky is falling chicken little) Retrieved March 1, 2006
http://www.themysterymethod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7983&page=4&highlight=evolve
Roman_be, PUA (2007, January 27) The Game is up (the sky is falling chicken little)
Retrieved March 1, 2006
http://www.themysterymethod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7983&page=5&highlight=evolve
Strauss, N. (2006, July) The red queen: study guide Stylelife. Retrieved February 27, 2007
(see appendix)* Exact of location of this source is not public.
Strauss, N. (2005) The game New York, ReganBooks.
Ridley, M (2003) The red queen New York, Harper Perennial.
Wikipedia, “Evolutionary arms race” Retrieved March 3, 2007 from
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolutionary_arms_race
Wikipedia, “Arms race” Retrieved March 3, 2007 from
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arms_race
Wikipedia, “Red queen” Retrieved March 3, 2007 from
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Queen
Wikpedia, “Seduction Community” Retrieved March 7, 2007
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seduction_community
Wikipedia, “Seduction” Retrieved March 8, 2007
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seduction
Wikipedia, “Social proof” Retrieved March 10, 2007
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_proof
Wikipedia, “Framing” Retrieved March 10, 2007
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Framing_(telecommunication)
Steen, F. “Class Lecture Notes” (2007)
(see appendix) * Exact location of this source is not public
Urban Dictionary “Peacocking” Retrieved March 8, 2007
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=peacocking
Savoy, PUA; (2005)“Fashion & lifestyle -- OAP issue 7”
(see appendix)* Enrollment in OAP is require. Enrollment can be done through this blog or on www.themysterymethod.com
Savoy, PUA; (2005) “Attraction OAP issue 3”
(see appendix) * Enrollment in OAP is require. Enrollment can be done through this blog or on http://www.themysterymethod.com/
Steve, PUA (2006) “Games are for children: be happy, be yourself” Retrieved March 10, 2007
http://www.gamesareforchildren.com/archives/396-Social-Proof.html
Dolly, female PUA advocate (2006) “Bf ‘social proof’ David” Retrieved March 10, 2007
http://cocksanddolls.blogspot.com/2006/06/bf-social-proof-david.html
Lakoff, G. (February 14, 2006) “Simple framing: an introduction to framing and its use in politics” Retrieved March 10, 2007
http://www.rockridgeinstitute.org/projects/strategic/simple_framing
Fast Seduction “Common acronyms/slang used on alt.seduction.fast” Retrieved March 10, 2007
http://www.fastseduction.com/acronyms.shtml
The Mystery Method “The M3 model” Retrieved March 14, 2007
http://www.themysterymethod.com/downloads/M3Model.ppt
Schizo, PUA "Blog Post Comment" (March 9, 2007)
https://www2.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4965447022861164429&postID=8900391898894468701
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Wordsmithery...or I am a radio
For lack of a title this post is going be ambiguously delightful. There's so many things I rolling around in my head. Things I want to express. It's hard to pick just one thing to write about. So, I'll just write and see what comes of it. Let this be a moral story about the effects of blogging under the influence and tripping off the effects of insurmountable stress. The topics here enclosed will all relate to my love for language and my passion to master its craft. Words are symbols waiting to be decoded. And this is proof.
If this doesn't make any sense to you, good. It shouldn't. Because it makes no sense to me either.
My New Favorite Color
Orange is usually my favorite color. It's so bright and cautious. It screams "Hey look at me but be careful as you proceed. Green's cool too. I like green for what it represents. Freedom or wait...is it dependence. I get the two confused. But so does our president. His favorite color is probably oil brown because it represents green to him. Or maybe its blood red because that the color he's spread around the the oil brown to get more green. Enough about the corruption in the white house...let's get back to writing about me or at least my new favorite color, which happens to be purple haze.
I am Afraid to Fall
There is something that I learned today. Or realized rather. I've never learned to skateboard. Because I'm too afraid to fall. It's something like TenMagnet's last few posts about risk taking (vol. 1 and vol. 2) . I'm not not a risk taker when it comes to falling. I avoid most activities that involve falling. Rollerblading, snowboarding, mountain biking, hiking, surfing, horseback riding, gymnastics, motocycle riding, trapezing, bungee jumping (well...I actually tried that once though), crowd surfing, professional wresting, walking down stairs, falling in love and so on and so forth. These are all activities I avoid. Because I'm afraid to fall. I get vertigo.
Today when I ran into my T.A., near the middle of campus, I stopped him because I was heading over to his office hours. He stopped and waited for me to print my paper and then he held office with me in a beautifully busy part of campus. The weather was great and I people watched as he read my paper and I saw a group of guys all trying to land a skateboard jump off a two and a half foot jump.
A weird realization came over me, I would never be out there trying to do that in front of all those people. I mean, I watched them for a while and I only saw one of the guys land one of the attempts. There must have be nearly hundred attempts. Sometimes they'd fall. Sometimes they'd land on there feet. Sometimes they'd land on the board weird. But every single time they regained control and went back to try it again, and again, and again. I hardly saw them phased by their failed attempts. I didn't see them pass judgment on any of the other guys. I didn't see people jeering them if they landed poorly. It was just systematic.
And it made me think that's the way to get good at stuff. Go for it and go for it and go for it. But I wondered if they were getting better. I wondered if they were making the most out of their missed jumps and fumbled falls. Were they analyzing their game? I wondered if they approached anything else in their lives like they did skateboarding. I couldn't do it. It seems like a waste of time to me. I mean Tony Hawk is cool but how many other 40 year old men do you know that still skateboard? Or that can say skateboarding enriched their life. Maybe more than I think. I wonder if they're going to be disappointed that the spent their time skateboarding on beautiful sunny day. Or I wonder if they were the happiest guys out there today.
Doctor Faustus
Blind ambition, pride, and absolute knowledge. I love satire. And irony. I love school too. It strange the things you learn when you're open to it. Or it's strange the way you notice things differently after you've discovered some new. Perception is a strange concept. The nature of contracts and flaws. It's strange the things they make you read at the University. And it's strange I've never read it before. And why are the kids nearly 10 years younger than me who have read this stuff? Questions have questions marks but do rhetorical questions require question marks? Who would pay $80 for a bottle of hay? And is two-thirds knowledge and power worth eternal damnation? And if the morals not about a deal with the devil, then what is the moral? What is Marlowe trying to write to me? Who talks about themselves in the third person? The limitations of language? Or the liberation of language? What's at stake? And so what? And is the title of a play really underlined? I can't see the thesis through the argument, metaphorically speaking. How can they let young fashionable professors teach? There should be a minimum age limits and they should be required to be unattractive and no pierced ears and pink ties. "Curse Faustus, curse Lucifer" albeit a warped reflection. Holding a mirror up to...
Numbers
I love numbers. Numbers are symbols. If I was a PUA, I'd use the "pick a number between one and ten" chick crack thingy all the time. Or at least I know it would definitely work on me. But then again, must of that stuff would work on me. But then again, I'd always pick eight, so it probably wouldn't work on me but who knows, if he's cute enough, it usually works. But that's beside the point or at least besides the number. Which is eight. Or when two eights become a zero. Or when song number nine is "piano". And three fifteen is headautomatica. And eight seventeen is love's first date. And two twenty-eight is his birthday. And twenty one is lucky but you don't believe in luck but it's your day nonetheless. There are numbers you purposely forget and numbers you can't forget if you wanted to forget. Numbers are meaning. The number twelve or the eight or even the super twelve. Mc eight was a rapper but no one remember him. nine-two-five is the place I'm from. Three-ten is the place I am at. Twenty-eight is fading and thirty-two is gone. Seventeen is old for a dog. Maybe too old. Fifty is for purple haze and Two plus is a long time to wait. And three seventeen is the day to wear green. I could go on and on and on...
Pillows
I love pillows. Different size, different cases. Different firmnesses. One for the neck. Stack the up next to me when I sleep. He hugs his at night. And bites them with delight. Two under the knees. One under the butt. Four to sit up with. Contoured. And throw. Match or not. Pillows are a symbol.
The best dream this week
I had an awesome dream this week. I was in "my back yard" or so it seemed to be. In a swimming pool that boarder on a glass that looked into a resort swimming pool and a neighbor's swimming pool. The resort had big pirate boats that they would have in their side of the pool and they'd have shows and I remember it was all so exciting. Warm and happy.
The worst dream this week
I had a terrible dream this week. I was in a shopping mall and someone kidnapped a little girl. They shut down the whole mall and everyone was looking for this girl. Some lady started bitching about being inconvenienced. I don't know what happened after that. I just remember it being a terrible feeling. Dreams are symbols.
I Want to be a Professor
I'd be happy being a professor. I'd get to help a bunch of young people expand their minds. I could do research in some exotic field. Teach classes and write. I think it would be cool to become a professor. You could tell your students really liberal things. Show them things they've never saw. Teach them to teach themselves. Council them and guide them. Be on a beautiful campus. Take class in spare time. Be around other great minds. Have an influence on the world. Learn. Grow. Think. Create....
What I like about the Seduction Community: The Mystery Method
Strange but true. I realize I am a bit biased but I like those guys. I've done a bit of research and haven't found a group I like more yet. Don't be jealous, I can't like all the stuff I come across. But I do like most of what I see from them. I've had the opportunity to meet a few of them. I won't get into the details surrounding that but I will say, those that I've met stand out in my mind. And even the ones I haven't met still seem good enough. They seem to have integrity and be hardworking. Savoy seems to be a great leader of men, he does what he can for his employees. His blog might be lacking as of late but that's not his fault. Maybe now he can get back to blogging, OAPing, and other more important communications. He doesn't seem as bad as some would paint him. He's witty and caring. And it seems like he could be successful at anything he tried. Sinn's a character. It seems like he can argue or bet anything. He seems to believe in what he's doing and I am jealous of him because he has one of the coolest jobs that I can think of. And he puts himself into it. He's young and sharp. And his blog is the most entertaining to follow. I love TenMagnet's blog post though too. They are so packed full of insights even if he doesn't post as often as others. He really seems to have a good grasp on these concepts. And besides he has a cool name. Future's a laugh. His posts are varied but entertaining nonetheless. It's cool that he's a film student and writes screenplays. And I want to make creme brulee. Capitan Jack is a hoot with his same day lays. He seems to have solid advice to give, especially his recent post on sticking points. Feddelio seems cool. I am sure we would never get along though (and that's not a disqualification statement or anything) but his posts are cool too. I like the advice he gave to his daughters. His personality really shone through. It's hard to keep up with all the PUAs in the community or read all the blogs but so far, I've like most of what I've seen from The Mystery Method crew. If you've haven't checked them out give them a try. You might be presently surprised.
My Friend the Exchange Guy
Really reminds me of my little brother. It's sorta strange. I think I befriended him so that I could be reminded of my brother often. They have the same body type. It's kinda cool because it's like I have a little brother in L.A. But the Exchange Guy is an exchange student, so he'll be leaving at the end of next quarter. He hooked me up today. If it weren't for him this post would probably be coherent or nonexistent. But I needed a night off. No school work, no worries, no sadness, no fears. Just me and my words.
A is for Ambiguity
There is no one in this world that knows everything about me. No one. Probably not even me. It's not something I am proud of. It's just the way I've learn to keep things. Imagine if everyone knew everything about you. I have radical dreams and liberal fantasies. High hopes and ideal ideas. I want to love different than is socially acceptable. I want live outside the lines. I want to die happy. And be proud of what I've done. I want to teach people and leave my mark on the world.
Social Capital
I want to write something about social capital but I don't know how to spell it and my arms are starting to hurt from typing so much.
I'd write more but I'm tired and in pain now. Tonight. Take care. If you're not sleeping next to the one you love tonight, may they find their way into your arms soon enough.
***Warning***
This post is unedited and will remain that way until further notice. (semi-edited now)
If this doesn't make any sense to you, good. It shouldn't. Because it makes no sense to me either.
My New Favorite Color
Orange is usually my favorite color. It's so bright and cautious. It screams "Hey look at me but be careful as you proceed. Green's cool too. I like green for what it represents. Freedom or wait...is it dependence. I get the two confused. But so does our president. His favorite color is probably oil brown because it represents green to him. Or maybe its blood red because that the color he's spread around the the oil brown to get more green. Enough about the corruption in the white house...let's get back to writing about me or at least my new favorite color, which happens to be purple haze.
I am Afraid to Fall
There is something that I learned today. Or realized rather. I've never learned to skateboard. Because I'm too afraid to fall. It's something like TenMagnet's last few posts about risk taking (vol. 1 and vol. 2) . I'm not not a risk taker when it comes to falling. I avoid most activities that involve falling. Rollerblading, snowboarding, mountain biking, hiking, surfing, horseback riding, gymnastics, motocycle riding, trapezing, bungee jumping (well...I actually tried that once though), crowd surfing, professional wresting, walking down stairs, falling in love and so on and so forth. These are all activities I avoid. Because I'm afraid to fall. I get vertigo.
Today when I ran into my T.A., near the middle of campus, I stopped him because I was heading over to his office hours. He stopped and waited for me to print my paper and then he held office with me in a beautifully busy part of campus. The weather was great and I people watched as he read my paper and I saw a group of guys all trying to land a skateboard jump off a two and a half foot jump.
A weird realization came over me, I would never be out there trying to do that in front of all those people. I mean, I watched them for a while and I only saw one of the guys land one of the attempts. There must have be nearly hundred attempts. Sometimes they'd fall. Sometimes they'd land on there feet. Sometimes they'd land on the board weird. But every single time they regained control and went back to try it again, and again, and again. I hardly saw them phased by their failed attempts. I didn't see them pass judgment on any of the other guys. I didn't see people jeering them if they landed poorly. It was just systematic.
And it made me think that's the way to get good at stuff. Go for it and go for it and go for it. But I wondered if they were getting better. I wondered if they were making the most out of their missed jumps and fumbled falls. Were they analyzing their game? I wondered if they approached anything else in their lives like they did skateboarding. I couldn't do it. It seems like a waste of time to me. I mean Tony Hawk is cool but how many other 40 year old men do you know that still skateboard? Or that can say skateboarding enriched their life. Maybe more than I think. I wonder if they're going to be disappointed that the spent their time skateboarding on beautiful sunny day. Or I wonder if they were the happiest guys out there today.
Doctor Faustus
Blind ambition, pride, and absolute knowledge. I love satire. And irony. I love school too. It strange the things you learn when you're open to it. Or it's strange the way you notice things differently after you've discovered some new. Perception is a strange concept. The nature of contracts and flaws. It's strange the things they make you read at the University. And it's strange I've never read it before. And why are the kids nearly 10 years younger than me who have read this stuff? Questions have questions marks but do rhetorical questions require question marks? Who would pay $80 for a bottle of hay? And is two-thirds knowledge and power worth eternal damnation? And if the morals not about a deal with the devil, then what is the moral? What is Marlowe trying to write to me? Who talks about themselves in the third person? The limitations of language? Or the liberation of language? What's at stake? And so what? And is the title of a play really underlined? I can't see the thesis through the argument, metaphorically speaking. How can they let young fashionable professors teach? There should be a minimum age limits and they should be required to be unattractive and no pierced ears and pink ties. "Curse Faustus, curse Lucifer" albeit a warped reflection. Holding a mirror up to...
Numbers
I love numbers. Numbers are symbols. If I was a PUA, I'd use the "pick a number between one and ten" chick crack thingy all the time. Or at least I know it would definitely work on me. But then again, must of that stuff would work on me. But then again, I'd always pick eight, so it probably wouldn't work on me but who knows, if he's cute enough, it usually works. But that's beside the point or at least besides the number. Which is eight. Or when two eights become a zero. Or when song number nine is "piano". And three fifteen is headautomatica. And eight seventeen is love's first date. And two twenty-eight is his birthday. And twenty one is lucky but you don't believe in luck but it's your day nonetheless. There are numbers you purposely forget and numbers you can't forget if you wanted to forget. Numbers are meaning. The number twelve or the eight or even the super twelve. Mc eight was a rapper but no one remember him. nine-two-five is the place I'm from. Three-ten is the place I am at. Twenty-eight is fading and thirty-two is gone. Seventeen is old for a dog. Maybe too old. Fifty is for purple haze and Two plus is a long time to wait. And three seventeen is the day to wear green. I could go on and on and on...
Pillows
I love pillows. Different size, different cases. Different firmnesses. One for the neck. Stack the up next to me when I sleep. He hugs his at night. And bites them with delight. Two under the knees. One under the butt. Four to sit up with. Contoured. And throw. Match or not. Pillows are a symbol.
The best dream this week
I had an awesome dream this week. I was in "my back yard" or so it seemed to be. In a swimming pool that boarder on a glass that looked into a resort swimming pool and a neighbor's swimming pool. The resort had big pirate boats that they would have in their side of the pool and they'd have shows and I remember it was all so exciting. Warm and happy.
The worst dream this week
I had a terrible dream this week. I was in a shopping mall and someone kidnapped a little girl. They shut down the whole mall and everyone was looking for this girl. Some lady started bitching about being inconvenienced. I don't know what happened after that. I just remember it being a terrible feeling. Dreams are symbols.
I Want to be a Professor
I'd be happy being a professor. I'd get to help a bunch of young people expand their minds. I could do research in some exotic field. Teach classes and write. I think it would be cool to become a professor. You could tell your students really liberal things. Show them things they've never saw. Teach them to teach themselves. Council them and guide them. Be on a beautiful campus. Take class in spare time. Be around other great minds. Have an influence on the world. Learn. Grow. Think. Create....
What I like about the Seduction Community: The Mystery Method
Strange but true. I realize I am a bit biased but I like those guys. I've done a bit of research and haven't found a group I like more yet. Don't be jealous, I can't like all the stuff I come across. But I do like most of what I see from them. I've had the opportunity to meet a few of them. I won't get into the details surrounding that but I will say, those that I've met stand out in my mind. And even the ones I haven't met still seem good enough. They seem to have integrity and be hardworking. Savoy seems to be a great leader of men, he does what he can for his employees. His blog might be lacking as of late but that's not his fault. Maybe now he can get back to blogging, OAPing, and other more important communications. He doesn't seem as bad as some would paint him. He's witty and caring. And it seems like he could be successful at anything he tried. Sinn's a character. It seems like he can argue or bet anything. He seems to believe in what he's doing and I am jealous of him because he has one of the coolest jobs that I can think of. And he puts himself into it. He's young and sharp. And his blog is the most entertaining to follow. I love TenMagnet's blog post though too. They are so packed full of insights even if he doesn't post as often as others. He really seems to have a good grasp on these concepts. And besides he has a cool name. Future's a laugh. His posts are varied but entertaining nonetheless. It's cool that he's a film student and writes screenplays. And I want to make creme brulee. Capitan Jack is a hoot with his same day lays. He seems to have solid advice to give, especially his recent post on sticking points. Feddelio seems cool. I am sure we would never get along though (and that's not a disqualification statement or anything) but his posts are cool too. I like the advice he gave to his daughters. His personality really shone through. It's hard to keep up with all the PUAs in the community or read all the blogs but so far, I've like most of what I've seen from The Mystery Method crew. If you've haven't checked them out give them a try. You might be presently surprised.
My Friend the Exchange Guy
Really reminds me of my little brother. It's sorta strange. I think I befriended him so that I could be reminded of my brother often. They have the same body type. It's kinda cool because it's like I have a little brother in L.A. But the Exchange Guy is an exchange student, so he'll be leaving at the end of next quarter. He hooked me up today. If it weren't for him this post would probably be coherent or nonexistent. But I needed a night off. No school work, no worries, no sadness, no fears. Just me and my words.
A is for Ambiguity
There is no one in this world that knows everything about me. No one. Probably not even me. It's not something I am proud of. It's just the way I've learn to keep things. Imagine if everyone knew everything about you. I have radical dreams and liberal fantasies. High hopes and ideal ideas. I want to love different than is socially acceptable. I want live outside the lines. I want to die happy. And be proud of what I've done. I want to teach people and leave my mark on the world.
Social Capital
I want to write something about social capital but I don't know how to spell it and my arms are starting to hurt from typing so much.
I'd write more but I'm tired and in pain now. Tonight. Take care. If you're not sleeping next to the one you love tonight, may they find their way into your arms soon enough.
***Warning***
This post is unedited and will remain that way until further notice. (semi-edited now)
Yesterday was a beautiful day, today maybe too
Yesterday, I finally got paid (hallelujah!), I wore a dress because the weather allowed me to, I saw two golden retrievers and petted them, I got help with my English paper, and took some "private time". Yay!
Today is looking pretty good too. I just finished my communication studies project (thank God), I can buy some much needed pot, the weather looks great, I can get more help on my English paper, and I have NO class today.....awww, it feels good.
Today is looking pretty good too. I just finished my communication studies project (thank God), I can buy some much needed pot, the weather looks great, I can get more help on my English paper, and I have NO class today.....awww, it feels good.
Monday, March 12, 2007
My younger brother is joining the game
I have mixed feeling about this.
My younger brother called me the other night, which is a rarity.
I'm usually the one to call him for technical support because he is formerly a Best Buy Geek Squad boy and he's almost a decade younger than me, so that means he's grown up with all this technology, literally at his fingertips.
So he called me to tell me he was accepted to be one of Style's 505 apprentices for an upcoming program. I am not currently aware of what Style is doing or what this program is. I'm sure it's legit, I just wish I could have known before he spent the money.
My brother told me he's using the name Glassjaw in the community.
Now, I probably shouldn't be surprised because I'm the one who told my brother about The Game and introduced him to the knowledge, that there is a community of men that helps other men find what they are looking for with women.
However, I haven't fully discussed with my brother the extend of my research or even that I, myself, was (briefly) participating in the StyleLife challenge.
When I went home for the holidays, I let him read through a bit of The Game after I was done reading it. I helped him sign-up for The Mystery Method OAP and encouraged him to look into it.
I did this mainly because he was going through a break-up with his girlfriend at the time and struggling with a girl he liked. The girl he liked was hot and she LJBFed him.
I never liked his girlfriend, from the first day I met her. And always felt he could do better.
The first day I met her, my mother took my brother, his girlfriend, and me out to dinner at our favorite family, Chinese, restaurant. Going to our favorite Chinese restaurant has been a family tradition with my Mom and my little brother for years. It started with my mom and my brother when they moved to Orange county from the Bay Area about 8-9 years ago.
Originally, I did not move with them because I wanted to stay close to my boyfriend at the time, Jealous Jason. But eventually Jealous Jason and I had some problems, so I moved to Orange County with my mother and my little brother. That's when they introduced me to what is now my most favoritest Chinese restaurant in the whole of the world (or at least out of every Chinese restaurant I've ever been to).
The place was amazing, the food was great, and the staff was so friendly and they always remembered us. Even years later my brother and I returned and they still remembered him.
It's also where we started the tradition of getting Flaming Po-Po platters and where I discovered, by accident, how yummy honey walnut shrimp is. Oh the nostalgia.
We didn't stay in Orange County for long and eventually we all moved back to the Bay Area. We eventually found a favorite Chinese restaurant in the town we lived in and continued the tradition.
So, on the first day of meeting my brother's new girlfriend, we're all at our restaurant, which is rooted in family tradition, and his girlfriend decided to tell us that: "I believe the guy should pay for everything."
My brother was still in high school and I found that statement to be a little absurd. Who the fuck says that to her new boyfriend's family the first time she meets them? Well, this girl does. And I took issue with it.
And from that point forward she didn't make herself look any better in my eyes. And being the kind of girl and sister that I am, I let her know it, often. My brother obviously deserved better.
So when he was going through his break with her, I was relieved and wanted to help him move on to better things. At the time, I thought telling him about the community was a good idea.
Now, I am not exactly sure.
Since coming back from the holiday, I've been doing a lot of research and learning a great deal about the community. People outside of the community often ask me why I'm interested in the community or they have some pre-conceived notion about the morality of those involved in the community.
I've spent a great deal of time defending this community and explaining my interests in being involved with such a group of guys. I explain to people that it's not fair to judge the community based off of its reputation alone and I always try to explain it in terms that are more positive to those that aren't familiar with the community. I still am met with great opposition in this regard, and my stance is still in support of a great majority of the community.
I truly believe my brother will do good things with the fundamentals and strategies he learns. He's good-hearted and very social already. I just think he needs some guidance in the art of attraction. Growing up with three females (our mom, our sister, and me) probably has had a bit of an unproductive effect on his attraction skills.
We've tried our best to help him but, God knows, women aren't the best at articulating what women really want. I've learned more about helping men, in this area, in the last several months and hope to be of assistance to him and my friends. But in no way do I consider myself a reliable source at the moment. There's only so much that can be learned from 'free' research.
My brother and I grew very close several years ago. Although there is a large age difference between us, we have a lot in common (music, film, theatre, etc). I've welcomed him into my circle of friends and, again even though there's a difference in age, they've all taken to liking him because he's such a great guy. We'd gone to concerts together often and I remember taking a road trip with him to AZ to see our favorite band, Glassjaw (hence his name in the community).
I also remember clearly the first day we brought our (now deceased) dog, Homer, home from pound . Once in the back yard, Homer, who was probably 85lbs, ran around the yard like a free animal. He ended up barrelling into my brother, who was then very young and very small. Homer knocked my brother to the ground. It's sorta funny now because my brother is no longer little and towers over me by at least a foot. Awww...more nostalgia yet again.
I have faith that my brother will use his new found skills for positive things and I don't worry about him misusing his powers or women in any way. My main concern for him is not what he will do with other women. I am more concerned about other men.
He mentioned to me on the phone about wanting to meet Mystery and Style. And I am fearful he may begin to idolize a magician and a nose raper. I haven't met either of these two men, so I don't want to say a lot about this now. I recognize their contributions to this community and know without them neither I nor my brother would have found it.
But I am concerned for him and the influences he may be exposed to. I didn't discourage my brother from what he wanted but just gave him my personal opinion in regards to the matter. I also tried to frame him as a "good" person with integrity and honor. I know I can't control him (nor do I wish to) and I have no desire to tell him what he can and cannot do. He's an adult and free to do as he will.
I just wish him well and hope he makes good decisions and isn't negatively influenced by the "man drama" in this community.
If you run across him, say 'hi' and welcome him kindly, with open arms. He's a good kid (young man).
With trepidation I write these words.
My younger brother called me the other night, which is a rarity.
I'm usually the one to call him for technical support because he is formerly a Best Buy Geek Squad boy and he's almost a decade younger than me, so that means he's grown up with all this technology, literally at his fingertips.
So he called me to tell me he was accepted to be one of Style's 505 apprentices for an upcoming program. I am not currently aware of what Style is doing or what this program is. I'm sure it's legit, I just wish I could have known before he spent the money.
My brother told me he's using the name Glassjaw in the community.
Now, I probably shouldn't be surprised because I'm the one who told my brother about The Game and introduced him to the knowledge, that there is a community of men that helps other men find what they are looking for with women.
However, I haven't fully discussed with my brother the extend of my research or even that I, myself, was (briefly) participating in the StyleLife challenge.
When I went home for the holidays, I let him read through a bit of The Game after I was done reading it. I helped him sign-up for The Mystery Method OAP and encouraged him to look into it.
I did this mainly because he was going through a break-up with his girlfriend at the time and struggling with a girl he liked. The girl he liked was hot and she LJBFed him.
I never liked his girlfriend, from the first day I met her. And always felt he could do better.
The first day I met her, my mother took my brother, his girlfriend, and me out to dinner at our favorite family, Chinese, restaurant. Going to our favorite Chinese restaurant has been a family tradition with my Mom and my little brother for years. It started with my mom and my brother when they moved to Orange county from the Bay Area about 8-9 years ago.
Originally, I did not move with them because I wanted to stay close to my boyfriend at the time, Jealous Jason. But eventually Jealous Jason and I had some problems, so I moved to Orange County with my mother and my little brother. That's when they introduced me to what is now my most favoritest Chinese restaurant in the whole of the world (or at least out of every Chinese restaurant I've ever been to).
The place was amazing, the food was great, and the staff was so friendly and they always remembered us. Even years later my brother and I returned and they still remembered him.
It's also where we started the tradition of getting Flaming Po-Po platters and where I discovered, by accident, how yummy honey walnut shrimp is. Oh the nostalgia.
We didn't stay in Orange County for long and eventually we all moved back to the Bay Area. We eventually found a favorite Chinese restaurant in the town we lived in and continued the tradition.
So, on the first day of meeting my brother's new girlfriend, we're all at our restaurant, which is rooted in family tradition, and his girlfriend decided to tell us that: "I believe the guy should pay for everything."
My brother was still in high school and I found that statement to be a little absurd. Who the fuck says that to her new boyfriend's family the first time she meets them? Well, this girl does. And I took issue with it.
And from that point forward she didn't make herself look any better in my eyes. And being the kind of girl and sister that I am, I let her know it, often. My brother obviously deserved better.
So when he was going through his break with her, I was relieved and wanted to help him move on to better things. At the time, I thought telling him about the community was a good idea.
Now, I am not exactly sure.
Since coming back from the holiday, I've been doing a lot of research and learning a great deal about the community. People outside of the community often ask me why I'm interested in the community or they have some pre-conceived notion about the morality of those involved in the community.
I've spent a great deal of time defending this community and explaining my interests in being involved with such a group of guys. I explain to people that it's not fair to judge the community based off of its reputation alone and I always try to explain it in terms that are more positive to those that aren't familiar with the community. I still am met with great opposition in this regard, and my stance is still in support of a great majority of the community.
I truly believe my brother will do good things with the fundamentals and strategies he learns. He's good-hearted and very social already. I just think he needs some guidance in the art of attraction. Growing up with three females (our mom, our sister, and me) probably has had a bit of an unproductive effect on his attraction skills.
We've tried our best to help him but, God knows, women aren't the best at articulating what women really want. I've learned more about helping men, in this area, in the last several months and hope to be of assistance to him and my friends. But in no way do I consider myself a reliable source at the moment. There's only so much that can be learned from 'free' research.
My brother and I grew very close several years ago. Although there is a large age difference between us, we have a lot in common (music, film, theatre, etc). I've welcomed him into my circle of friends and, again even though there's a difference in age, they've all taken to liking him because he's such a great guy. We'd gone to concerts together often and I remember taking a road trip with him to AZ to see our favorite band, Glassjaw (hence his name in the community).
I also remember clearly the first day we brought our (now deceased) dog, Homer, home from pound . Once in the back yard, Homer, who was probably 85lbs, ran around the yard like a free animal. He ended up barrelling into my brother, who was then very young and very small. Homer knocked my brother to the ground. It's sorta funny now because my brother is no longer little and towers over me by at least a foot. Awww...more nostalgia yet again.
I have faith that my brother will use his new found skills for positive things and I don't worry about him misusing his powers or women in any way. My main concern for him is not what he will do with other women. I am more concerned about other men.
He mentioned to me on the phone about wanting to meet Mystery and Style. And I am fearful he may begin to idolize a magician and a nose raper. I haven't met either of these two men, so I don't want to say a lot about this now. I recognize their contributions to this community and know without them neither I nor my brother would have found it.
But I am concerned for him and the influences he may be exposed to. I didn't discourage my brother from what he wanted but just gave him my personal opinion in regards to the matter. I also tried to frame him as a "good" person with integrity and honor. I know I can't control him (nor do I wish to) and I have no desire to tell him what he can and cannot do. He's an adult and free to do as he will.
I just wish him well and hope he makes good decisions and isn't negatively influenced by the "man drama" in this community.
If you run across him, say 'hi' and welcome him kindly, with open arms. He's a good kid (young man).
With trepidation I write these words.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
I've been dumped, I'm penny less, and my dog just died
No joke. I know it sounds like a country song title or something but I have not been paid in nearly 4 months and I have barely any money to my name at the moment. This hopefully will be settled this week and I will feel a lot less financial stress and can start to pay debts I have.
Things aren't working out with the guy I really like but it's my fault. I really don't want to discuss this any further in this post but I am sadden by the current situation nonetheless.
And my mom just called me to tell me that our family dog, Homer, passed away last night. He was very old, probably 17 years old, by our best estimates. We have had him for nearly 15 years and I know everyone says this about their dog, but he truly was the best dog ever.
He was a large (85lbs in his prime) beautiful golden retriever and chow chow mix. He was kind and gentle. And I remember the day we picked him up from the pound very clearly. He was the only dog not barking. Which I thought maybe meant he was deaf or dumb or something. He clearly was not deaf, because he would later bark when ever he heard the door bell or some other noises at our house. Whether or not he was dumb is debatable, however, and I remember we named him Homer because of the "doh" expression he had when we got him into the car at the pound; it was much like a Homer Simpson's reaction.
We all knew he was getting ready to pass on because he was deteriorating lately but that doesn't make it any more easy to handle. I am just glad he's not suffering anymore and I'll miss him dearly.
R.I.P.
Homer
3/10/2007
Things aren't working out with the guy I really like but it's my fault. I really don't want to discuss this any further in this post but I am sadden by the current situation nonetheless.
And my mom just called me to tell me that our family dog, Homer, passed away last night. He was very old, probably 17 years old, by our best estimates. We have had him for nearly 15 years and I know everyone says this about their dog, but he truly was the best dog ever.
He was a large (85lbs in his prime) beautiful golden retriever and chow chow mix. He was kind and gentle. And I remember the day we picked him up from the pound very clearly. He was the only dog not barking. Which I thought maybe meant he was deaf or dumb or something. He clearly was not deaf, because he would later bark when ever he heard the door bell or some other noises at our house. Whether or not he was dumb is debatable, however, and I remember we named him Homer because of the "doh" expression he had when we got him into the car at the pound; it was much like a Homer Simpson's reaction.
We all knew he was getting ready to pass on because he was deteriorating lately but that doesn't make it any more easy to handle. I am just glad he's not suffering anymore and I'll miss him dearly.
R.I.P.
Homer
3/10/2007
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Framing in politics and pick-up artistry
Pick-up artists could benefit from exploring George Lakoff's framing concepts. As far as I know his framing concepts were developed in his linguistics work and then transfered into his political work.
The concept is very similar to framing in the seduction community, however, there is much to be gained from further insight into his theories. Here's an sample article of his work:
http://www.rockridgeinstitute.org/projects/strategic/simple_framing
I found this while researching my communication studies project and it was inspired by Sinn's work on framing.
Google can produce further resources for those who are interested.
Can anyone tell me why renown linguistic experts turn into political advocates? Chomsky was a renown linguists too before jumping into political and propaganda commentary, wasn't he? (I think I've been studying too hard, I am discussing intellectual bullshit on my blog now. I guess it beats personal drama).
On a side note:
I've just reached the minimum word count on my project, so now all I have to is make sure I've covered all my bases and polish it up. I'll be glad when it's over, my research has caused more trouble than I would have like it to.
Back to my studies.
The concept is very similar to framing in the seduction community, however, there is much to be gained from further insight into his theories. Here's an sample article of his work:
http://www.rockridgeinstitute.org/projects/strategic/simple_framing
I found this while researching my communication studies project and it was inspired by Sinn's work on framing.
Google can produce further resources for those who are interested.
Can anyone tell me why renown linguistic experts turn into political advocates? Chomsky was a renown linguists too before jumping into political and propaganda commentary, wasn't he? (I think I've been studying too hard, I am discussing intellectual bullshit on my blog now. I guess it beats personal drama).
On a side note:
I've just reached the minimum word count on my project, so now all I have to is make sure I've covered all my bases and polish it up. I'll be glad when it's over, my research has caused more trouble than I would have like it to.
Back to my studies.
Pushing away every guy that gets too close to me
I've had a very long week. I am under an extreme amount of personal stress, I've not been paid in over 3 months, I am dealing with work related injuries, and I am in the middle of finals at what seems to be one of the most difficult universities in the world.
I probably shouldn't be writing a blog of such a personal nature, especially in the emotional state I am in but I really do NOT have that many places to turn right now and NOT that many people read my blog anyways, and of those that do read my blog, very few actually know me in real life (because I prefer it that way).
I've noticed yet another relationship pattern of mine. When I start to really liking a guy, I push him away by acting crazily bizarre, to the point of driving him out of my life.
Retrospectively looking back, I've done this for years. And if I had to guess why, I'd say it probably has something to do with my abandonment issues regarding the men in my life (or that left my life growing up). And at some point they all left my life of their own accord.
I don't talk about my father much but since my school psychologist got me talking about him yesterday, I've been wondering what effect if any his absence has had on me.
And I've come to the realization that, although I do NOT want my father in my life, I missed out on very important social lessons and experiences in his absence. I have no idea how to communicate with men in my life, especially men I have romantic feelings for.
Sure I had a step-father for many years but he wasn't a good role model either, seeing how he was inappropriate with my younger sister and cheated on our mother constantly.
After talking to my psychologist yesterday I also realized that my grandfathers were not apart of my developmental years either. My mother's father is accused of molesting our cousin.
I've come to expect that men I care about will leave me. And well when they do not, I don't know how to handle myself. So I act out in irrational ways causing great confusion for them, no doubt. And either one of two things happens, they leave or I leave.
They usually leave, if I express my true feelings for them. And I usually leave if, they express their true feelings for me. It's a fucked up paradox but it's my paradox, for better or worse. The only thing is it's worse not better.
And the only way it's going to get better is if I make the effort to consciously change my behavior. But behavior modification is really difficult. I am not using that as excuse, just making an observation.
I want to change and I want to be a better person and I want to stop pushing people out of my life.
I wish there was The Mystery Method bootcamp or some other program to help with these sorts of issues. I respect any pick-up artist that honestly takes steps to improve his life because it's no easy task. And it's probably the hardest thing someone can do.
I am sure I'll pull through this (like I always do). I just wish I didn't hurt so many people in the process, including myself.
I probably shouldn't be writing a blog of such a personal nature, especially in the emotional state I am in but I really do NOT have that many places to turn right now and NOT that many people read my blog anyways, and of those that do read my blog, very few actually know me in real life (because I prefer it that way).
I've noticed yet another relationship pattern of mine. When I start to really liking a guy, I push him away by acting crazily bizarre, to the point of driving him out of my life.
Retrospectively looking back, I've done this for years. And if I had to guess why, I'd say it probably has something to do with my abandonment issues regarding the men in my life (or that left my life growing up). And at some point they all left my life of their own accord.
I don't talk about my father much but since my school psychologist got me talking about him yesterday, I've been wondering what effect if any his absence has had on me.
And I've come to the realization that, although I do NOT want my father in my life, I missed out on very important social lessons and experiences in his absence. I have no idea how to communicate with men in my life, especially men I have romantic feelings for.
Sure I had a step-father for many years but he wasn't a good role model either, seeing how he was inappropriate with my younger sister and cheated on our mother constantly.
After talking to my psychologist yesterday I also realized that my grandfathers were not apart of my developmental years either. My mother's father is accused of molesting our cousin.
I've come to expect that men I care about will leave me. And well when they do not, I don't know how to handle myself. So I act out in irrational ways causing great confusion for them, no doubt. And either one of two things happens, they leave or I leave.
They usually leave, if I express my true feelings for them. And I usually leave if, they express their true feelings for me. It's a fucked up paradox but it's my paradox, for better or worse. The only thing is it's worse not better.
And the only way it's going to get better is if I make the effort to consciously change my behavior. But behavior modification is really difficult. I am not using that as excuse, just making an observation.
I want to change and I want to be a better person and I want to stop pushing people out of my life.
I wish there was The Mystery Method bootcamp or some other program to help with these sorts of issues. I respect any pick-up artist that honestly takes steps to improve his life because it's no easy task. And it's probably the hardest thing someone can do.
I am sure I'll pull through this (like I always do). I just wish I didn't hurt so many people in the process, including myself.
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