Monday, April 30, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Things I cannot live without: Girlfriends
They are great. I wish I had more. Now, I have to work on my English paper. I've been dicking around all day.
Life is NOT perfect but parts of it are excellent
Perfection is overrated. This is a random rant. And it may ramble. A basic observation I have about humans, including myself, is they constantly want more than what they have but they do not always utilize all they have. I'm sure if you thought about it long enough you could probably think of example for every desire people have.
I have a friend who wants to be a comedian. We'll call him the "Komedy Kid"[Side note: for those of you who have actually read my blog, he is also know as the tagalong kid, or something like that, in a post made earlier in the year. He's the guy who said "Ohmygod! This (PUA stuff) is going to change my life; I am going to have babies." Side note ending] He bitches and moans about it all the time and he is constantly criticizing others. He thinks he knows how to do everything right but when it comes time to doing it, he doesn't, and then he always has an excuse.
I was supposed to see him perform comedy a couple times and both times I ended up flaking on him. So the third time he invited me out, I actually made an effort to see him perform. So here's the scenario:
It's late on a school night. I'm usually in bed before the show even starts. I just left the library, where I was working on writing a paper that was due that week. So, before the night even starts, I can think of at least two different places I'd rather be and two different things I would rather be doing than seeing comedy in a dingy room of some brewery in a college town. Namely in a lover's bed, sleeping after sex.
So Komedy Kid had better pull some Kung-fu komedy out of his ass or I'm going to be pissed I even showed up. So I show up with my girlfriend from school. For all the PUAs out there reading this blog, we all know each other from class. Some of our other friends show up and it's on. Except for it's not really on. We go in and nothing is ready. But I play it cool and try to relax because I am there to support a friend. And I'm stoned so it really doesn't matter. We're the only people in this room. Well, it was us and some of the comedians but it was mostly use. So the first comedian goes on, to warm the crowd up. And at this point there's less than 10 people in the room and I am one of three girls huddled near the front.
I'm an easy target, dressed in red, with a cute red hat to cover my blood shot eyes, and a form fitting red jacket to match my wine red lips and a fluffy red scarf to match my beat up old red sketchers. "What's your major?" the first comedian hurlers at me. "English" I bat back to him as I turn to figure out where my friend is and why he's not performing. That first comedian ends his set fairly quickly. Then a girl comedian gets up. Luckily she doesn't see me as an easy target. She tells some funny jokes about dating and her set ends a while later.
The whole time I am thinking my friends going to be the next comedian on. But not it's another older comic. He also thinks I am a great target, I play along....ha ha he! But he quickly looses my interest after a while but I am fine because I am still stoned and he's not completely awful. Although it's uncomfortable when he starts saying he'd eat a girls pussy in the audience. It just came off inappropriate and uncomfortable since it was just out of no where in his routine. He's calling for the next comedian to come to the stage but the next comedian isn't in the room. And there's a delays, so he stays on stage for a bit longer.
The next comedian is actually someone I have heard of and do know of, Godfrey. I remember seeing this guy first on the "IT Factor" on the bravo channel or one of those cable t.v. stations. I used to watch it years ago. And he was on it. He auditioned for SevenUp and he then became the SevenUP guy. He probably got paid well for it and I'd say it was probably a bit of an accomplishment to be black spokesperson for a major soda corporation and not be an athlete. As far as I know, he was fairly unknown at the time of getting that spot and he's still fairly unknown. It's pretty cool to have minority as a spokesperson. I'm rambling.
By the time he had gotten to the stage I had to pee, so I excused myself and when I came back. I decided not to sit back near the front with my friends. Instead I hung out with Komedy Kid near the back. Godfrey went on for ever and he was only mediocre in laughablity. I mean, when he was funny, he was really funny. But when he wasn't, he was sorta like this blog, just white noise to fill space (well, in his case black noise but who's counting?)
So I am sitting next the Komedy Kid and every time Godfrey boring, he gets fidgety. Then his fidgetiness turns to mopiness. And he begins sighing and grumbling softly to himself but so much so that I can see his anguish out of the corner of my blind eye. And I turn to him....
And if his body language could talk, it would be screaming "I'M A BIG BABY! WAH!"
I tried to silently console him by patting him on the back. I was hoping to cheer him up before he went on because I knew that a bad attitude would effect his performance. But he wasn't having any of my consoling.
When he did eventually get up; everyone left the room but his five friends and a few of the remaining comedians. He did not handle it well. They have a turn for the way he handled it; he coked. And it looked bad. At one point, he even got made at the audience, his friends, for not laughing at his terrible timing and pathetic jokes. I was no longer stoned and wished I had been. He didn't stay on stage long before he called up the next comedian and he practices some really lame jokes on us. But the best point of the night was when the last comic, a midget, got on stage and referred to me as "Blossom". I was done. It was already the next day and I was ready to leave.
My friend really pissed me off about it too. He had a shitty attitude about it and blamed the whole thing on the Godfrey. What a chump. He didn't take any responsibility for his own actions and basically said there was nothing he could have done in that situation. I was pissed I even showed up because he disappointed me in his ability to handle a difficult situation.
He bitches and moans that he doesn't have quality comedy gigs but then he doesn't take advantage of the opportunities he has. It's a real shame too because he's really talented but his own by negative outlook is going to limit his success.
I was actually started to respect the kid in creative ways. He's very sharp and witty. He's just too young and stupid to take advantage of it.
He's waiting for the perfect gig to come along but he's not willing to learn, grow, and improve with the imperfect gigs first.
It's like people want more money but they don't even use the money they already have wisely. Or people want the perfect partner but they aren't appreciated the good things they already have in the person their with. It's like wanting a better job but not performing well at your current job. Or wanting more opportunities but pissing away the opportunities they already have.
I need to get back to working on my English paper. This post will remain unedited until further notice.3:22
I have a friend who wants to be a comedian. We'll call him the "Komedy Kid"[Side note: for those of you who have actually read my blog, he is also know as the tagalong kid, or something like that, in a post made earlier in the year. He's the guy who said "Ohmygod! This (PUA stuff) is going to change my life; I am going to have babies." Side note ending] He bitches and moans about it all the time and he is constantly criticizing others. He thinks he knows how to do everything right but when it comes time to doing it, he doesn't, and then he always has an excuse.
I was supposed to see him perform comedy a couple times and both times I ended up flaking on him. So the third time he invited me out, I actually made an effort to see him perform. So here's the scenario:
It's late on a school night. I'm usually in bed before the show even starts. I just left the library, where I was working on writing a paper that was due that week. So, before the night even starts, I can think of at least two different places I'd rather be and two different things I would rather be doing than seeing comedy in a dingy room of some brewery in a college town. Namely in a lover's bed, sleeping after sex.
So Komedy Kid had better pull some Kung-fu komedy out of his ass or I'm going to be pissed I even showed up. So I show up with my girlfriend from school. For all the PUAs out there reading this blog, we all know each other from class. Some of our other friends show up and it's on. Except for it's not really on. We go in and nothing is ready. But I play it cool and try to relax because I am there to support a friend. And I'm stoned so it really doesn't matter. We're the only people in this room. Well, it was us and some of the comedians but it was mostly use. So the first comedian goes on, to warm the crowd up. And at this point there's less than 10 people in the room and I am one of three girls huddled near the front.
I'm an easy target, dressed in red, with a cute red hat to cover my blood shot eyes, and a form fitting red jacket to match my wine red lips and a fluffy red scarf to match my beat up old red sketchers. "What's your major?" the first comedian hurlers at me. "English" I bat back to him as I turn to figure out where my friend is and why he's not performing. That first comedian ends his set fairly quickly. Then a girl comedian gets up. Luckily she doesn't see me as an easy target. She tells some funny jokes about dating and her set ends a while later.
The whole time I am thinking my friends going to be the next comedian on. But not it's another older comic. He also thinks I am a great target, I play along....ha ha he! But he quickly looses my interest after a while but I am fine because I am still stoned and he's not completely awful. Although it's uncomfortable when he starts saying he'd eat a girls pussy in the audience. It just came off inappropriate and uncomfortable since it was just out of no where in his routine. He's calling for the next comedian to come to the stage but the next comedian isn't in the room. And there's a delays, so he stays on stage for a bit longer.
The next comedian is actually someone I have heard of and do know of, Godfrey. I remember seeing this guy first on the "IT Factor" on the bravo channel or one of those cable t.v. stations. I used to watch it years ago. And he was on it. He auditioned for SevenUp and he then became the SevenUP guy. He probably got paid well for it and I'd say it was probably a bit of an accomplishment to be black spokesperson for a major soda corporation and not be an athlete. As far as I know, he was fairly unknown at the time of getting that spot and he's still fairly unknown. It's pretty cool to have minority as a spokesperson. I'm rambling.
By the time he had gotten to the stage I had to pee, so I excused myself and when I came back. I decided not to sit back near the front with my friends. Instead I hung out with Komedy Kid near the back. Godfrey went on for ever and he was only mediocre in laughablity. I mean, when he was funny, he was really funny. But when he wasn't, he was sorta like this blog, just white noise to fill space (well, in his case black noise but who's counting?)
So I am sitting next the Komedy Kid and every time Godfrey boring, he gets fidgety. Then his fidgetiness turns to mopiness. And he begins sighing and grumbling softly to himself but so much so that I can see his anguish out of the corner of my blind eye. And I turn to him....
And if his body language could talk, it would be screaming "I'M A BIG BABY! WAH!"
I tried to silently console him by patting him on the back. I was hoping to cheer him up before he went on because I knew that a bad attitude would effect his performance. But he wasn't having any of my consoling.
When he did eventually get up; everyone left the room but his five friends and a few of the remaining comedians. He did not handle it well. They have a turn for the way he handled it; he coked. And it looked bad. At one point, he even got made at the audience, his friends, for not laughing at his terrible timing and pathetic jokes. I was no longer stoned and wished I had been. He didn't stay on stage long before he called up the next comedian and he practices some really lame jokes on us. But the best point of the night was when the last comic, a midget, got on stage and referred to me as "Blossom". I was done. It was already the next day and I was ready to leave.
My friend really pissed me off about it too. He had a shitty attitude about it and blamed the whole thing on the Godfrey. What a chump. He didn't take any responsibility for his own actions and basically said there was nothing he could have done in that situation. I was pissed I even showed up because he disappointed me in his ability to handle a difficult situation.
He bitches and moans that he doesn't have quality comedy gigs but then he doesn't take advantage of the opportunities he has. It's a real shame too because he's really talented but his own by negative outlook is going to limit his success.
I was actually started to respect the kid in creative ways. He's very sharp and witty. He's just too young and stupid to take advantage of it.
He's waiting for the perfect gig to come along but he's not willing to learn, grow, and improve with the imperfect gigs first.
It's like people want more money but they don't even use the money they already have wisely. Or people want the perfect partner but they aren't appreciated the good things they already have in the person their with. It's like wanting a better job but not performing well at your current job. Or wanting more opportunities but pissing away the opportunities they already have.
I need to get back to working on my English paper. This post will remain unedited until further notice.3:22
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Check out the "Dump the Couch!" article in Forbes
Check out the "Dump the Couch!" article in Forbes
Thu, April 26, 2007 - 7:43 PMI know I mentioned this previously, somewhere; I only read newspapers and magazines while I'm waiting, usually in a doctor's office lobby. Fortunate for me (or unfortunate, depending on how you look at it) that I've been doing a lot of waiting in a lot of doctor's offices during a majority of the last two years.
Most the time, what I read is diabolically devoid of all density; such publications with Britney or Paris on the cover or other such tarts, covered or uncovered, within the publication. Occasionally, I’ll stumble upon a political piece; but most of the times, at least in recent times, the pages are filed with similar scandals of those starring Lindsey or Nicole. But on the rarest of occasions I have the honor of having something truly enlightening to read while waiting in those dreadful waiting rooms.
Today, I had the pleasure of happening upon a Forbes. Imagine my delight. I can not honestly remember the last time I read through a Forbes. For some odd reason, stemming from strange developmental experiences; I have a fixation for quality magazines. I used to read Time magazine, when I was a kid, every time I went over to baby sit the neighbor’s kids. After I put the kids to bed I would pour through stacks of Time Magazines. I loved it. Time magazine represented something very special to me as adolescent. Time magazines are a little easier to find at Doctor’s offices, although not as easy as finding exclusive dirt on Christina or someone related to Anna Nicole.
The cover of Forbes caught my eye and I read through most of the article about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. As some of you may recall, I have been working on self-improvement since I moved to Los Angeles, about 7 months ago. What many of you probably don’t know is that I have been participating in cogitative behavioral therapy groups and learning about difference aspects of it, for my own benefit (not to go into it as a profession). I am really enjoying it and I feel like I am slowly (but steadily) progressing well.
I would definitely recommend it to any of my friend and anyone looking for a better way to handle life’s difficulties. Students and others on medical insurance should ask their provider if any CBT services are available to you.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Pressure
I've been under a lot of stress and pressure lately. I'll be back to blogging when things settle down.
Monday, April 16, 2007
See, even my mom gets it
I'm not sure why I was so worried about my mom. Everything worked out fine. I picked her up from LAX and we went to breakfast at my favorite fifties restaurant in L.A.
I can't remember who started talking about the seduction community but before long she was telling me about my brother's experiences and I was telling her about my research. And at some point, I realize, my mom understands the seduction community and my interests in it.
She practically described it to me in a very similar fashion to how I have described it.
She also thinks that it's great for my brother and she said he joined a gym. She even acted out one of the unique opening routines my brother created. Hahahahaha...Oh wow.
Life is beautiful. I'd write more but I am exhausted.
I can't remember who started talking about the seduction community but before long she was telling me about my brother's experiences and I was telling her about my research. And at some point, I realize, my mom understands the seduction community and my interests in it.
She practically described it to me in a very similar fashion to how I have described it.
She also thinks that it's great for my brother and she said he joined a gym. She even acted out one of the unique opening routines my brother created. Hahahahaha...Oh wow.
Life is beautiful. I'd write more but I am exhausted.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
My Inner Game Issues: Stress Management
You may not believe how much stress interferes with my interpersonal relationships. I'm currently learning to manage my stress more effectively but it's hard.
My mom called me yesterday to tell me she's flying into LAX tomorrow (which is really today, Sunday). She mentioned this to me previously but what she didn't mention before was that she expected me to chauffeur her around for the duration of three days.
She has business in Irvine this week. So she wants me to drive her out there today after she exhausts me. Then she wants me to pick her up, drive her to Orange County, attend a party with her next Saturday afternoon and take her back to Irvine. And finally, she wants me to pick her up from her hotel in Irvine to take her back to the airport on Sunday. Ugh.
Then on the phone, she gave me a guilt trip about her having to consider getting a rental car. I hate guilt trips because they always trip me up.
I guess it wouldn't be so stressful, if I felt caught up on my studies but I'm not and before she called, I was looking forward to having today to dedicated to finally catching up. It doesn't look like that is going to happen.
I am not exactly sure why I am so stressed out but I am. I tried to meditate for 40 minutes but it just put me to sleep.
This inability to manage stress effectively occurs with most of my relationships, especially my romantic ones and I am sure that it comes through towards guys. I'm working on learning better strategies for dealing with these issues. It's a long, slow battle.
My mom called me yesterday to tell me she's flying into LAX tomorrow (which is really today, Sunday). She mentioned this to me previously but what she didn't mention before was that she expected me to chauffeur her around for the duration of three days.
She has business in Irvine this week. So she wants me to drive her out there today after she exhausts me. Then she wants me to pick her up, drive her to Orange County, attend a party with her next Saturday afternoon and take her back to Irvine. And finally, she wants me to pick her up from her hotel in Irvine to take her back to the airport on Sunday. Ugh.
Then on the phone, she gave me a guilt trip about her having to consider getting a rental car. I hate guilt trips because they always trip me up.
I guess it wouldn't be so stressful, if I felt caught up on my studies but I'm not and before she called, I was looking forward to having today to dedicated to finally catching up. It doesn't look like that is going to happen.
I am not exactly sure why I am so stressed out but I am. I tried to meditate for 40 minutes but it just put me to sleep.
This inability to manage stress effectively occurs with most of my relationships, especially my romantic ones and I am sure that it comes through towards guys. I'm working on learning better strategies for dealing with these issues. It's a long, slow battle.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
This passage blows my f***ing mind!
Savoy's latest blog is a passage from Badboy Lifestyles (BBLS) latest e-book. My gut reaction wasn't pretty. I felt my first cringe of criticism when Savoy gave his little disclaimer in his introduction of the excerpt; "I don't agree with every single word".
The title of the section gave me hope; "Think for yourself". It's something we should all strive for. It's definitely a perpetual goal of mine and when I read those words in bold print, I know I'd be using that advice as I read the rest of the passage.
First Paragraph; I couldn't agree more. Bravo! It's about time someone said that out loud. Now if we could only get that to be a universally accept statement, we'd all be happier, right? It's about time fairy tales (and movies) and society wise up and start dispensing some reality into this theatrical non-fiction we call life. Life doesn't end "happily ever after". So drop the guise.
Second Paragraph; spot on once again. So far so good. I can dig this.
Most Common Bullshit Ideas:
1) Paragraph one; Now this is where I think the excerpts sorta misses the mark. It gets most of it right but there seems to be something missing. Here's what's right in this paragraph: I do HATE nice guys. But I also hate the word "nice" because it implies just what BBLS describes beautifully; boring. "Nice" is something someone says when they don't know what else to say. If someone describes a guy to me as "nice", I'm not interested. PERIOD. It means they couldn't think of anything better to say about him, which either means they don't know him that well or worse, he could really truly be "nice" (which means there's not to say about him). It means he's not known to be an Axe murderer but there's nothing else that distinguishing about him either.
Still paragraph one of this section; But then I come to this quote: "This is not to say you have to be an asshole to get girls but did you ever ask yourself, why are many beautiful women are attracted to the jerk or the badboy?" And I start to think for myself (which the section heading instructed to do) and I think to myself (by myself). "I'm a beautiful women" but I am not attracted to 'jerks' and 'badboys'. And then I think for myself a little bit more and I wonder. "I'm I that different from most beautiful women? I don't think so. Most of my girlfriends are beautiful women and none of them are attracted to 'jerks' or 'badboys'. In fact, I don't know of personally any beautiful woman that is actually attracted to those kinds of guys. I mean, I've heard of these women but I've never really known one of them personally. Maybe they're urban legends. No, they can't be urban legends, can they? "
And then I wonder; "Are there really ONLY three types of men in this world "nice guys" (yuck), jerks (ugh), and badboys (double ugh)? There's got to be some sort of highbred nice-jerk-bad guy-boy or something in the middle, right? I could probably think through most of the guys I've ever dated and honestly say that not very many of them could be considered a jerk or a badboy. Some may have been called "nice" but it usually wasn't because they were nice in the sense of the word that we already covered. Most of them would be considered somewhere in the middle. Something I like to consider a good guy or a hero
A good guy has integrity. He tries to do what's right at all times even when it's difficult (he doesn't always succeed but he never fails to try). He's assertive ("I count; you count"). He's independent, compassionate, witty, wise, and "some kind of wonderful". A hero has all the adventure of the badboy but without the attitude. And most of all he's balanced. His knows the distinction between too much and too little excitement, predictability, fun, seriousness; and he pulls it all off with class and style. While stirring up those oh-so-important emotions.
Paragraph two in the section: "It's sad, but true, that sometimes the more you disrespect them, the more they like you." This sentence should be removed from existence FOREVER! Ugh, NO! Wrong! Try again. Sorry. Think that over some more, please. A good guy/hero does NOT need to disrespect anyone to get what he wants, especially a woman he's romantically/sexually involved with. To disrespect a woman to get sex, is to disrespect yourself. I don't know what direction was intended by this statement but I can't agree with it regardless of what arguments anyone may have. And I'm not saying that disrespect doesn't happen, it does but to purposely use it to manipulate a situation is what gives PUA a bad name in the first place and it's CHEAP! If you're smart enough to get into our pants, you can at least be respectful about it.
"So don't be afraid to be more selfish" Change the work "self" to assertive ("I count";You count") then maybe I'd agree but this world doesn't need anymore selfishness that it already has.
I don't see anything wrong with seeking happiness and surrounding yourself with people who make you happy. But is this selfish mindset the only successful mindset of advanced seducers. Aren't there other "frames" that can get strong results?
Paragraph three: I can agree to most of that but I prefer to go without the hate and the pain. I'm not into those sorts of emotions.
[I'll have to finish this post another time. It's late and I'm tired now. And I have class in the morning. 11:47p.m. and in true fashion this post will remain unedited until I can get around to reading it over and making corrections. Enjoy]
The title of the section gave me hope; "Think for yourself". It's something we should all strive for. It's definitely a perpetual goal of mine and when I read those words in bold print, I know I'd be using that advice as I read the rest of the passage.
First Paragraph; I couldn't agree more. Bravo! It's about time someone said that out loud. Now if we could only get that to be a universally accept statement, we'd all be happier, right? It's about time fairy tales (and movies) and society wise up and start dispensing some reality into this theatrical non-fiction we call life. Life doesn't end "happily ever after". So drop the guise.
Second Paragraph; spot on once again. So far so good. I can dig this.
Most Common Bullshit Ideas:
1) Paragraph one; Now this is where I think the excerpts sorta misses the mark. It gets most of it right but there seems to be something missing. Here's what's right in this paragraph: I do HATE nice guys. But I also hate the word "nice" because it implies just what BBLS describes beautifully; boring. "Nice" is something someone says when they don't know what else to say. If someone describes a guy to me as "nice", I'm not interested. PERIOD. It means they couldn't think of anything better to say about him, which either means they don't know him that well or worse, he could really truly be "nice" (which means there's not to say about him). It means he's not known to be an Axe murderer but there's nothing else that distinguishing about him either.
Still paragraph one of this section; But then I come to this quote: "This is not to say you have to be an asshole to get girls but did you ever ask yourself, why are many beautiful women are attracted to the jerk or the badboy?" And I start to think for myself (which the section heading instructed to do) and I think to myself (by myself). "I'm a beautiful women" but I am not attracted to 'jerks' and 'badboys'. And then I think for myself a little bit more and I wonder. "I'm I that different from most beautiful women? I don't think so. Most of my girlfriends are beautiful women and none of them are attracted to 'jerks' or 'badboys'. In fact, I don't know of personally any beautiful woman that is actually attracted to those kinds of guys. I mean, I've heard of these women but I've never really known one of them personally. Maybe they're urban legends. No, they can't be urban legends, can they? "
And then I wonder; "Are there really ONLY three types of men in this world "nice guys" (yuck), jerks (ugh), and badboys (double ugh)? There's got to be some sort of highbred nice-jerk-bad guy-boy or something in the middle, right? I could probably think through most of the guys I've ever dated and honestly say that not very many of them could be considered a jerk or a badboy. Some may have been called "nice" but it usually wasn't because they were nice in the sense of the word that we already covered. Most of them would be considered somewhere in the middle. Something I like to consider a good guy or a hero
A good guy has integrity. He tries to do what's right at all times even when it's difficult (he doesn't always succeed but he never fails to try). He's assertive ("I count; you count"). He's independent, compassionate, witty, wise, and "some kind of wonderful". A hero has all the adventure of the badboy but without the attitude. And most of all he's balanced. His knows the distinction between too much and too little excitement, predictability, fun, seriousness; and he pulls it all off with class and style. While stirring up those oh-so-important emotions.
Paragraph two in the section: "It's sad, but true, that sometimes the more you disrespect them, the more they like you." This sentence should be removed from existence FOREVER! Ugh, NO! Wrong! Try again. Sorry. Think that over some more, please. A good guy/hero does NOT need to disrespect anyone to get what he wants, especially a woman he's romantically/sexually involved with. To disrespect a woman to get sex, is to disrespect yourself. I don't know what direction was intended by this statement but I can't agree with it regardless of what arguments anyone may have. And I'm not saying that disrespect doesn't happen, it does but to purposely use it to manipulate a situation is what gives PUA a bad name in the first place and it's CHEAP! If you're smart enough to get into our pants, you can at least be respectful about it.
"So don't be afraid to be more selfish" Change the work "self" to assertive ("I count";You count") then maybe I'd agree but this world doesn't need anymore selfishness that it already has.
I don't see anything wrong with seeking happiness and surrounding yourself with people who make you happy. But is this selfish mindset the only successful mindset of advanced seducers. Aren't there other "frames" that can get strong results?
Paragraph three: I can agree to most of that but I prefer to go without the hate and the pain. I'm not into those sorts of emotions.
[I'll have to finish this post another time. It's late and I'm tired now. And I have class in the morning. 11:47p.m. and in true fashion this post will remain unedited until I can get around to reading it over and making corrections. Enjoy]
things I Cannot Live Without: Euphemisms [or morning toast]
"Morning Toast" is a euphemism for the first bowel movement of the day. This blog post is going to be a figurative euphemism (morning toast) for crap is spew out in this blog. It's early and this is my first metaphorical bowel movement of the day.
Euphemisms are great. I love them. In fact, I pride myself on using them and coming up with new ones. Although I have to admit, there is one type of euphemism I hate and that's military euphemisms.
War is ugly and I personally do not think it needs to be sugar coated at all. If more people with discussing the tragic reality of war, maybe more people would be against unjust and falsified war (especially the non-constitutional war we're in right now). I don't want to turn my blog into a political shit fest, so I leave this topic alone for now.
My favorite kinds of euphemisms are sexual in nature. Sexual acts, anatomy, and other related topics are great sources of colorful alternative language. I particularly like calling a man's anatomy, "package".
Example:
Guys are funny when it comes to their packages.
It's true. They have names and different euphemisms for address their packages. It's cute. Each guy has his own style regarding this topic. And it's always fun in new relationships to see how a guy handles his package.
Well, enough naughty talk for now. I got to get back to studying. Today's Morning Toast was brought to you by the radio.
Euphemisms are great. I love them. In fact, I pride myself on using them and coming up with new ones. Although I have to admit, there is one type of euphemism I hate and that's military euphemisms.
War is ugly and I personally do not think it needs to be sugar coated at all. If more people with discussing the tragic reality of war, maybe more people would be against unjust and falsified war (especially the non-constitutional war we're in right now). I don't want to turn my blog into a political shit fest, so I leave this topic alone for now.
My favorite kinds of euphemisms are sexual in nature. Sexual acts, anatomy, and other related topics are great sources of colorful alternative language. I particularly like calling a man's anatomy, "package".
Example:
Guys are funny when it comes to their packages.
It's true. They have names and different euphemisms for address their packages. It's cute. Each guy has his own style regarding this topic. And it's always fun in new relationships to see how a guy handles his package.
Well, enough naughty talk for now. I got to get back to studying. Today's Morning Toast was brought to you by the radio.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Did you just see the cat fight outside my window?
No, this isn't a cheesy PUA line. There was literally a cat (or some other nonhuman creature) fight happening right outside my bedroom window. At first it sounded like a baby in a blender, then two distinct creatures could be heard, there may have been several creatures involved (including the household cat).
And they went at it. They were so loud that my roommates could hear them through my bedroom wall, with my bedroom door closed, through a hallway door closed, and the television on. It was the snarliest sound I've ever heard live (unrecorded). After a moment or two of this ruckus I rush to the window (so, I don't look completely lazy when my roommates ask me what happened).
At that point, I realized that our cat may be outside. So I yank the blinds up, throw the window open, and try to see through the screen, but I couldn't see anything outside. So by this time, I think I scared the creatures off and I hear my roommates getting aroused by the ruckus.
I go out in the backyard to find my landlord calling the cat in. He won't come in. He's playing hard to get. I rush back inside and grab a plate and a fork and begin tapping the fork onto the plate as I call for the kitty. "Matese...Matese...Metese, if you come inside right now you'll get extra treats."
That didn't work. I gave up and decided to take a break from studying to begin this blog and then I was interrupted by a text message.
And I had a very interesting conversation with a congruent, confident, wise man. Some how we ending up talking about my therapy. The thing I'm working on right now with my therapist is the ability to deal with my emotions and go to place (internally) that I don't really want to go. So in PUA talk, my therapist is helping me work on my "inner game". It's some heavy shit.
But it's very helpful. She really does push me to think about things that I've never stopped to consider. And she doesn't let me bullshit my way out of anything. She asks tough questions and we had several breakthroughs in the last few weeks. It's been great. I look forward to this journey I'm on.
Not only do I work on self-improvement stuff with her, I've made it a priority in my life right now. Practically everything I do can be related to improving myself, my life, my education, or my happiness.
Something that really makes me happy, is to help people. I love it. I go out of my way to help people. Not all the time, and not always to everyone. But I consider myself a kind and caring person and I've worked hard to surround myself with amazing people, so when I have an opportunity to help, I try. Especially regarding, personal issues.
A lot of my friends have told me that I'm very non-judgmental. Especially my female friends. They usually come to me with their craziest escapades or saddest relationship problems. And I listen and I give advice as I see fit. And I do my best to make them feel better.
I always find it odd when they ask me about relationship things. I realized that I've dated a lot of men and have had very liberal sexual experiences but I don't consider myself a dating expert and a relationship coach.
Although I think it would be really fun to learn how to be a dating coach or a relationship expert, I'm not qualified to counsel anyone about anything. I love learning and being taught. Especially in personal relationships. Some of my best friends are my best teachers. I've learned so much from people around me.
It's no wonder I like to fantasize about the teacher-student roles. Ha. I probably should write much more about this so I'll change the radio station.
I realized that I hold a lot of emotions in, and I'm starting to see how dangerous it has been to me both physically and emotionally. My emotions feel foreign to me. I don't even know what to call them or how to label them. They're all a mess and it feels overwhelming.
Holding these emotions in, not knowing how to deal with stress, and being unable to relax have taken a toll on my body. I have physical problems with my body because of cognitive and emotional issues. The best advice I can give anyone right now is, don't hold your emotions in.
If you're under a lot of stress and dealing with emotional responsibilities the best thing to do is to deal with them or talk about them. If you don't, you could end up hurting yourself. And you can't take care of all your responsibilities if you're hurt, burnt out, or worse.
It's amazing how much of the PUA stuff can be applied to other aspects of ones life. Although, that's one reason why I like the PUA stuff, because it's multidisciplinary. I actually applied to UC Berkeley to get an interdisciplinary degree in English, Rhetoric, and History and I was going to call my customized emphasis "Critical Thinking".
Ha...I actually put something like that on my application. It's no wonder that was the only school I applied to that didn't admit me. Oh well, such is it. I really wanted to go to Berkeley because their interdisciplinary degree department was very well organized and student friendly.
My school, that I'm currently attending, has a similar but much less facilitated and more limiting program to create ones own degree path.
I abandoned the idea of customizing my degree and decided that all liberal arts degrees are about critical thinking. And an English degree is probably the best degree for me to get. Until I took a Communication Studies class and really want to change my major (again) but then I was strongly advice not to pursue such a path because I didn't have enough time to complete all the requirements.
And beside, I'm taking a bunch of classes that I want, so it really doesn't matter. Speaking of which, I love my classes this quarter. My English teacher this quarter already seem much more capable of teaching student than my last teacher was. The professor last quarter was very bright, and young, and fashionable but his lectures always felt just out of reach for me.
And this quarter's professor seem to be more interested in making his lectures more accessible to the students. He seems to care about at least presenting the information in a comprehendable way. I sat through every lecture but one (because I locked my keys in my car) last quarter and couldn't really tell you exactly what the professor's main point were and I sure in hell could tell you what I was supposed to learn.
Now, it's much more easier. I know exactly what the teacher is talking about. And even though his much older, not fashionable at all, and has a sharp wit about him, he can teach me. and that's all that matter. And besides my T.A. is young, slightly fashionable, and eager to teach.
I'm a good girl just waiting to learn.
[I'm going to end on that point; some what edited]
And they went at it. They were so loud that my roommates could hear them through my bedroom wall, with my bedroom door closed, through a hallway door closed, and the television on. It was the snarliest sound I've ever heard live (unrecorded). After a moment or two of this ruckus I rush to the window (so, I don't look completely lazy when my roommates ask me what happened).
At that point, I realized that our cat may be outside. So I yank the blinds up, throw the window open, and try to see through the screen, but I couldn't see anything outside. So by this time, I think I scared the creatures off and I hear my roommates getting aroused by the ruckus.
I go out in the backyard to find my landlord calling the cat in. He won't come in. He's playing hard to get. I rush back inside and grab a plate and a fork and begin tapping the fork onto the plate as I call for the kitty. "Matese...Matese...Metese, if you come inside right now you'll get extra treats."
That didn't work. I gave up and decided to take a break from studying to begin this blog and then I was interrupted by a text message.
And I had a very interesting conversation with a congruent, confident, wise man. Some how we ending up talking about my therapy. The thing I'm working on right now with my therapist is the ability to deal with my emotions and go to place (internally) that I don't really want to go. So in PUA talk, my therapist is helping me work on my "inner game". It's some heavy shit.
But it's very helpful. She really does push me to think about things that I've never stopped to consider. And she doesn't let me bullshit my way out of anything. She asks tough questions and we had several breakthroughs in the last few weeks. It's been great. I look forward to this journey I'm on.
Not only do I work on self-improvement stuff with her, I've made it a priority in my life right now. Practically everything I do can be related to improving myself, my life, my education, or my happiness.
Something that really makes me happy, is to help people. I love it. I go out of my way to help people. Not all the time, and not always to everyone. But I consider myself a kind and caring person and I've worked hard to surround myself with amazing people, so when I have an opportunity to help, I try. Especially regarding, personal issues.
A lot of my friends have told me that I'm very non-judgmental. Especially my female friends. They usually come to me with their craziest escapades or saddest relationship problems. And I listen and I give advice as I see fit. And I do my best to make them feel better.
I always find it odd when they ask me about relationship things. I realized that I've dated a lot of men and have had very liberal sexual experiences but I don't consider myself a dating expert and a relationship coach.
Although I think it would be really fun to learn how to be a dating coach or a relationship expert, I'm not qualified to counsel anyone about anything. I love learning and being taught. Especially in personal relationships. Some of my best friends are my best teachers. I've learned so much from people around me.
It's no wonder I like to fantasize about the teacher-student roles. Ha. I probably should write much more about this so I'll change the radio station.
I realized that I hold a lot of emotions in, and I'm starting to see how dangerous it has been to me both physically and emotionally. My emotions feel foreign to me. I don't even know what to call them or how to label them. They're all a mess and it feels overwhelming.
Holding these emotions in, not knowing how to deal with stress, and being unable to relax have taken a toll on my body. I have physical problems with my body because of cognitive and emotional issues. The best advice I can give anyone right now is, don't hold your emotions in.
If you're under a lot of stress and dealing with emotional responsibilities the best thing to do is to deal with them or talk about them. If you don't, you could end up hurting yourself. And you can't take care of all your responsibilities if you're hurt, burnt out, or worse.
It's amazing how much of the PUA stuff can be applied to other aspects of ones life. Although, that's one reason why I like the PUA stuff, because it's multidisciplinary. I actually applied to UC Berkeley to get an interdisciplinary degree in English, Rhetoric, and History and I was going to call my customized emphasis "Critical Thinking".
Ha...I actually put something like that on my application. It's no wonder that was the only school I applied to that didn't admit me. Oh well, such is it. I really wanted to go to Berkeley because their interdisciplinary degree department was very well organized and student friendly.
My school, that I'm currently attending, has a similar but much less facilitated and more limiting program to create ones own degree path.
I abandoned the idea of customizing my degree and decided that all liberal arts degrees are about critical thinking. And an English degree is probably the best degree for me to get. Until I took a Communication Studies class and really want to change my major (again) but then I was strongly advice not to pursue such a path because I didn't have enough time to complete all the requirements.
And beside, I'm taking a bunch of classes that I want, so it really doesn't matter. Speaking of which, I love my classes this quarter. My English teacher this quarter already seem much more capable of teaching student than my last teacher was. The professor last quarter was very bright, and young, and fashionable but his lectures always felt just out of reach for me.
And this quarter's professor seem to be more interested in making his lectures more accessible to the students. He seems to care about at least presenting the information in a comprehendable way. I sat through every lecture but one (because I locked my keys in my car) last quarter and couldn't really tell you exactly what the professor's main point were and I sure in hell could tell you what I was supposed to learn.
Now, it's much more easier. I know exactly what the teacher is talking about. And even though his much older, not fashionable at all, and has a sharp wit about him, he can teach me. and that's all that matter. And besides my T.A. is young, slightly fashionable, and eager to teach.
I'm a good girl just waiting to learn.
[I'm going to end on that point; some what edited]
Things I Cannot Live Without: Pampering
Yesterday, after studying for about 3 hours, I treated myself to a Retail Therapy (RT) session. I realize that a lot of guys may not understand the concept of RT. Most women, I would guess, understand this concept very well. It's the therapeutic use of shopping to enhance ones mood. I'm sure guys do this too but instead of buying purses, shoes, clothes, makeup, etc. They probably buy manly things like toys, audio/visual, sports stuff, etc.
[side note on literary issues: I don't know if the possessive pronoun of "one" is spelled o-n-e-s or o-n-e-'-s. It seems like "one's" could be easily confused for "one is" and I know possessive pronouns do not use apostrophes, such as "its" or "ours". But the pronoun 'one' confuses me. Side note ending.]
Before going shopping, I promised myself I wouldn't worry about anything while out on my shopping spree. I managed for the most part to refocus my attention whenever my mind would wonder to worrying about life's little worries. I tried to stay in the moment and really experience what was happening as it was happening. I think I did pretty well.
I managed to spend very little money (less than $100 on clothes) and came home with about 7 different items. Most of the items I will love wearing on a regular basis. In fact, I'm going to wear three of the garments today....yay!
And the RT really did positively impact my mood. So much so that, instead of going out last night with the guys or going to a party with Sexy Sharon [posts about Sexy Sharon can be found here, and here], I stayed home and pampered myself further. I took a long, warm shower and fantasized about my ideal shower.
[Side note: A wise man once told me that the only reason he makes a lot of money is so he could take care of his loved ones. I realize now that it was a DHV and demonstration of the alpha male quality, "takes care of loved ones". Side note ending]
Before getting out of the shower, I left some special product in my hair to help condition it. And once out of the shower, I put eye cream and face cream on. I got into my most comfortable clothes and did some relaxation exercises. It felt great. And I feel great. My face is smooth, my hair is soft, and I am glowing with happiness.
Now, I have to get back to studying before I waste the whole day blogging.
[side note on literary issues: I don't know if the possessive pronoun of "one" is spelled o-n-e-s or o-n-e-'-s. It seems like "one's" could be easily confused for "one is" and I know possessive pronouns do not use apostrophes, such as "its" or "ours". But the pronoun 'one' confuses me. Side note ending.]
Before going shopping, I promised myself I wouldn't worry about anything while out on my shopping spree. I managed for the most part to refocus my attention whenever my mind would wonder to worrying about life's little worries. I tried to stay in the moment and really experience what was happening as it was happening. I think I did pretty well.
I managed to spend very little money (less than $100 on clothes) and came home with about 7 different items. Most of the items I will love wearing on a regular basis. In fact, I'm going to wear three of the garments today....yay!
And the RT really did positively impact my mood. So much so that, instead of going out last night with the guys or going to a party with Sexy Sharon [posts about Sexy Sharon can be found here, and here], I stayed home and pampered myself further. I took a long, warm shower and fantasized about my ideal shower.
[Side note: A wise man once told me that the only reason he makes a lot of money is so he could take care of his loved ones. I realize now that it was a DHV and demonstration of the alpha male quality, "takes care of loved ones". Side note ending]
Before getting out of the shower, I left some special product in my hair to help condition it. And once out of the shower, I put eye cream and face cream on. I got into my most comfortable clothes and did some relaxation exercises. It felt great. And I feel great. My face is smooth, my hair is soft, and I am glowing with happiness.
Now, I have to get back to studying before I waste the whole day blogging.
More comments from readers
I've received several comments from my blog readers. Since they are scattered in comment section of topics unrelated to their comment, I'm going to address them here in their own post.
"Ana,
Just curious how you ended up doing on your project. You get a good grade? What did the professor think of it?"
Matt,
I don't know what grade I got on my project (yet) but I know I got a B- in the class. Which leads me to believe I got a good grade on the final and the paper because I did very poorly on my mid-term.
I'm going to email that professor and see if I can meet with him this week to discuss my project and to get it back from him and also to discuss any publishing possibilities with him. When I was I spring break I found a "free" book by Noam Chomsky (an author we studied in class) called "Profit over People". I may mention that to him because he seem interested in those sorts of things.
More importantly to me, I'm wondering what you think about my project. I've received very little feedback regarding it. So far, only two of my female friends have mention that they are very interested learning more and that they enjoyed my project. But other than that, I have NOT received very much feedback at all. So what do you think?
HeroiC said...
However, I would encourage you to write a blog about your bootcamp experience. I would love to read it.
I'm also very interested in learning how to become a wing girl. There's so much to learn, it gets to be overwhelming at times. But I have learned "Have you seen Michelle?" Ha...and I think that's hilarious. I tried to explain this to my friends, we all had a laugh about it.
Thanks for posting such a detailed comment on my blog. I appreciate your efforts. Since I've moved to L.A. I've been working on my own "inner game". I've been learning about core belief systems, self-talk, managing stress, relaxation, and other helpful things. The aspect of the community that interest me most would probably be intergame, then lifestyle, then fashion, and so on.
You're insight on calibration is interesting. My interest in this area topic is based mainly on what I've experienced and I've seen very little written about it (so far). I think my calibration post was also inspired by Sinn's Microcalibration post.
My personal experience with calibration was when I was with a guy and I asked him why he kept restricting my arm from moving while we were snuggling on the couch watching T.V. His first comment was "Because you need to be restrained." I found this very unique and intriguing and the look on my face must have tipped him off to the fact that I was not expecting such an answer (although I was fascinated by it). So he quickly said "I just want you to know I'm paying attention to you." That comment fascinated me just as much as the other and it really helped me understand calibration.
To me calibration is less about changing who you are as a person but it more about being "in the moment" enough to recognize small clues (facial expressions, eye movements, etc) and using those to help build more comfort. If something is said or done that makes a girl uncomfortable and the PUA doesn't mind making an adjustment to make the girl feel more comfortable, than I see nothing wrong with it.
I see it as an assertive thing ("I count, you count") not a approval-seeking thing. Although I can see how it could be used in a way that is not productive for the PUA (in the way you described it).
I've seen confident PUAs calibrate. I understand your comment and agree with parts of it. It was not specifically what I was referring to in my post but it's still a good comment nonetheless.
Thanks again for leaving a comment. I look forward to hearing more from you regarding different PUA related stuff.
Now, I really need to study. I know it's Easter but I don't want to fall behind in my studies. I hope you all have a great Easter and if you don't believe in Christ or celebrate Easter, I hope you have a great Sunday. Take care.
"Ana,
Just curious how you ended up doing on your project. You get a good grade? What did the professor think of it?"
Matt,
I don't know what grade I got on my project (yet) but I know I got a B- in the class. Which leads me to believe I got a good grade on the final and the paper because I did very poorly on my mid-term.
I'm going to email that professor and see if I can meet with him this week to discuss my project and to get it back from him and also to discuss any publishing possibilities with him. When I was I spring break I found a "free" book by Noam Chomsky (an author we studied in class) called "Profit over People". I may mention that to him because he seem interested in those sorts of things.
More importantly to me, I'm wondering what you think about my project. I've received very little feedback regarding it. So far, only two of my female friends have mention that they are very interested learning more and that they enjoyed my project. But other than that, I have NOT received very much feedback at all. So what do you think?
HeroiC said...
However, I would encourage you to write a blog about your bootcamp experience. I would love to read it.
I'm also very interested in learning how to become a wing girl. There's so much to learn, it gets to be overwhelming at times. But I have learned "Have you seen Michelle?" Ha...and I think that's hilarious. I tried to explain this to my friends, we all had a laugh about it.
ITotem said...
-
"Inner Game is the set of beliefs you hold about yourself and the world around you. Without a strong set of core beliefs, you are easily influenced by the world around you. You can call inner gamer your "self-talk" if you will.
As far as calibration goes, I like that concept but to be honest with you, I prefer to think of being more socially self-aware, or even being more socially intelligent. Calibration implies that you are adjusting/reacting to someone else's reaction to you. This is what leads to reaction-seeking behavior when taken to the extreme because the PUA tries to meet the woman's approval.
Confident men don't calibrate per say. They just talk in ways that makes you feel comfortable with their values. They introduce things in a "situationally relevant" way. You both don't have to agree with each other's values but the fact that he can present his persona confidently to the woman in a non-offensive way makes him more attractive."
Thanks for posting such a detailed comment on my blog. I appreciate your efforts. Since I've moved to L.A. I've been working on my own "inner game". I've been learning about core belief systems, self-talk, managing stress, relaxation, and other helpful things. The aspect of the community that interest me most would probably be intergame, then lifestyle, then fashion, and so on.
You're insight on calibration is interesting. My interest in this area topic is based mainly on what I've experienced and I've seen very little written about it (so far). I think my calibration post was also inspired by Sinn's Microcalibration post.
My personal experience with calibration was when I was with a guy and I asked him why he kept restricting my arm from moving while we were snuggling on the couch watching T.V. His first comment was "Because you need to be restrained." I found this very unique and intriguing and the look on my face must have tipped him off to the fact that I was not expecting such an answer (although I was fascinated by it). So he quickly said "I just want you to know I'm paying attention to you." That comment fascinated me just as much as the other and it really helped me understand calibration.
To me calibration is less about changing who you are as a person but it more about being "in the moment" enough to recognize small clues (facial expressions, eye movements, etc) and using those to help build more comfort. If something is said or done that makes a girl uncomfortable and the PUA doesn't mind making an adjustment to make the girl feel more comfortable, than I see nothing wrong with it.
I see it as an assertive thing ("I count, you count") not a approval-seeking thing. Although I can see how it could be used in a way that is not productive for the PUA (in the way you described it).
I've seen confident PUAs calibrate. I understand your comment and agree with parts of it. It was not specifically what I was referring to in my post but it's still a good comment nonetheless.
Thanks again for leaving a comment. I look forward to hearing more from you regarding different PUA related stuff.
Now, I really need to study. I know it's Easter but I don't want to fall behind in my studies. I hope you all have a great Easter and if you don't believe in Christ or celebrate Easter, I hope you have a great Sunday. Take care.
A comment from a reader and my response
"Do you have intentions to use what you learned studying male pickup to attract or get men into your life? And if so would you be interested in getting together with other females who want the same?
2. I recently joined a community with a mission statement to change the world, if you're interested in getting a start on saving the world PM me (Schizo on StyleLife forum) with your email address and I'll send you an invite :D" ~Schizo
Hey Schizo,
It's great to hear from you again. I really enjoyed your input on my CommStu project.
As far as my personal relationship goals are concerned, I'm finding it very difficult to date right now for several different reasons. Two main reasons are school and my heart.
My school takes up a lot of time and when I get into relationships I want to be the best "lover"/girlfriend I can be and that's time consuming in itself.
And as far as my heart is concerned, it doesn't seem to understand how this all works and it has a mind of its own. I will definitely use the skills that I'm continuing to learn to gain friendships and other relationships.
Having just moved to a new large city, I find myself struggling to create and maintain friendships. I feel like the skills I'm learning are going to help me be more social and outgoing and cultivate meaningful relationships.
But for right now, it difficult to think about anyone (romantically/sexually) but the last guy I was dating. Even though I know logically it's not going to work out with him, my heart keeps hoping for something it's never going to get (from him), love. I could literally be with probably half-a-dozen other men right now but all my heart wants is him (trust me I've tried to convince it otherwise...it's just going to take time).
But enough about that right now. One major reason that I became interested in this community was because I was a part of a (very) small group of women that were trying to figure out why we were all beautiful, talented, intelligent, some-what successful, and all struggling with relationships. There were probably 6 of us to start with and two dropped out, one got married, one has a boyfriend, and there are still 2 of us struggling, me and Sexy Sharon (I posted about her here).
Sexy Sharon (who is truly sexy) started this "private" group online on Fourth of July two years ago. We were supposed to be reclaiming our independence. She read a bunch of books (The Rules, Mr. Right, Right Now, etc). We were doing our own social experiments with the guys we were dating.
It worked well for the two women currently in relationships (that marriage came about in part because of our group's efforts). But Sexy Sharon and I still are struggling to find what we're looking for. And if I could help be a part of Sexy Sharon finding a meaningful relationship and love, I would be very happy. She deserves it. We all do.
I would love to work on the female version of The Mystery Method. That's one reason I'm so interested in this group is because I want to help other females. My younger brother told me that Style is looking to create a female version of the Game and he's currently looking for females to help him with this project. As interesting as that sounds, and with nothing personal against Style, I would much rather be involved with TMM than with any other organization at this point.
I have my own apprehensions about meeting gurus and other master PUAs in the community. I really enjoy seeing my newbie friends in the field or just talking about this stuff with people who know about it but GURUs (that I've never met) are a whole other game (pun intended). Besides, I do NOT want to be nose raped. And if Style ever put his fingers in my nose, I'd be pissed off to the point of the possibility of prison (I would show Style that rape of any kind is not a matter to play around with or joke about....PERIOD).
I'm very interested in changing the world for the better. I'm not sure how much time I have to be involved in a group right now, though. As I mentioned before, I'm very focused on my education currently and that is (besides myself) one of my biggest priorities at the moment. My free time should be a little more free in about 10 weeks, when summer break begins. I'm hoping not to have to go to school during the summer and my major goal for the summer is to write and write often (because I want to be a writer when I finally grow up).
2. I recently joined a community with a mission statement to change the world, if you're interested in getting a start on saving the world PM me (Schizo on StyleLife forum) with your email address and I'll send you an invite :D" ~Schizo
Hey Schizo,
It's great to hear from you again. I really enjoyed your input on my CommStu project.
As far as my personal relationship goals are concerned, I'm finding it very difficult to date right now for several different reasons. Two main reasons are school and my heart.
My school takes up a lot of time and when I get into relationships I want to be the best "lover"/girlfriend I can be and that's time consuming in itself.
And as far as my heart is concerned, it doesn't seem to understand how this all works and it has a mind of its own. I will definitely use the skills that I'm continuing to learn to gain friendships and other relationships.
Having just moved to a new large city, I find myself struggling to create and maintain friendships. I feel like the skills I'm learning are going to help me be more social and outgoing and cultivate meaningful relationships.
But for right now, it difficult to think about anyone (romantically/sexually) but the last guy I was dating. Even though I know logically it's not going to work out with him, my heart keeps hoping for something it's never going to get (from him), love. I could literally be with probably half-a-dozen other men right now but all my heart wants is him (trust me I've tried to convince it otherwise...it's just going to take time).
But enough about that right now. One major reason that I became interested in this community was because I was a part of a (very) small group of women that were trying to figure out why we were all beautiful, talented, intelligent, some-what successful, and all struggling with relationships. There were probably 6 of us to start with and two dropped out, one got married, one has a boyfriend, and there are still 2 of us struggling, me and Sexy Sharon (I posted about her here).
Sexy Sharon (who is truly sexy) started this "private" group online on Fourth of July two years ago. We were supposed to be reclaiming our independence. She read a bunch of books (The Rules, Mr. Right, Right Now, etc). We were doing our own social experiments with the guys we were dating.
It worked well for the two women currently in relationships (that marriage came about in part because of our group's efforts). But Sexy Sharon and I still are struggling to find what we're looking for. And if I could help be a part of Sexy Sharon finding a meaningful relationship and love, I would be very happy. She deserves it. We all do.
I would love to work on the female version of The Mystery Method. That's one reason I'm so interested in this group is because I want to help other females. My younger brother told me that Style is looking to create a female version of the Game and he's currently looking for females to help him with this project. As interesting as that sounds, and with nothing personal against Style, I would much rather be involved with TMM than with any other organization at this point.
I have my own apprehensions about meeting gurus and other master PUAs in the community. I really enjoy seeing my newbie friends in the field or just talking about this stuff with people who know about it but GURUs (that I've never met) are a whole other game (pun intended). Besides, I do NOT want to be nose raped. And if Style ever put his fingers in my nose, I'd be pissed off to the point of the possibility of prison (I would show Style that rape of any kind is not a matter to play around with or joke about....PERIOD).
I'm very interested in changing the world for the better. I'm not sure how much time I have to be involved in a group right now, though. As I mentioned before, I'm very focused on my education currently and that is (besides myself) one of my biggest priorities at the moment. My free time should be a little more free in about 10 weeks, when summer break begins. I'm hoping not to have to go to school during the summer and my major goal for the summer is to write and write often (because I want to be a writer when I finally grow up).
Saturday, April 7, 2007
It's Always Better When We're Together by Jack Johnson
Song lyrics
[Verse 1:]
There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard,
No song that I could sing
But I can try for your heart,
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things,
Like a shoebox of photographs,
With sepiatone loving,
Love is the answer
At least for most of the questions in my heart ,
Like why are we here? And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy,
And sometimes life can be deceiving,
I'll tell you one thing, its always better when we're together
[Chorus:]
MMM, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, we'll look at the stars when we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together
[Verse 2:]
And all of these moments
Just might find their way into my dreams tonight
But I know that they'll be gone,
When the morning light sings
And brings new things,
But tomorrow night you see
That they'll be gone too,
Too many things I have to do,
But if all of these dreams might find their way
Into my day to day scene
I'll be under the impression,
I was somewhere in-between
With only two,
Just me and you
Not so many things we got to do,
Or places we got to be
We'll sit beneath the mango tree now
Yeah, it's always better when we're together
MMM, We're somewhere in-between together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together
Mmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmm
I believe in memories
They look so, so pretty when I sleep
Hey now, and when, and when I wake up,
You look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time,
And there is no, no song I could sing
And there is no combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing,
We're better together
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Wow...I just got the best compliment ever!
And no, it was not given to me by a PUA. It was given to me by one of my new professors this quarter. I took a class with her husband last quarter and now I'm taking a class with her and her husband this quarter. I guess I left an impression on her husband. This is what she said in response to an email I sent her:
"I like your enthusiasm. We will use you as [a class participant]. That's great that you will write extra [writings for class]. I'm sure we will be able to use them. The class depends on the [student writings]. Dee [her husband] raves about you so I look forward to seeing more of your work.
"I like your enthusiasm. We will use you as [a class participant]. That's great that you will write extra [writings for class]. I'm sure we will be able to use them. The class depends on the [student writings]. Dee [her husband] raves about you so I look forward to seeing more of your work.
Best,"
Awwwww....I feel so happy right now. Yay! Now, I actually have to perform the tasks for the class. I'm so excited about this class. I hope it continues to be as good as it has been this first week.
Awwwww....I feel so happy right now. Yay! Now, I actually have to perform the tasks for the class. I'm so excited about this class. I hope it continues to be as good as it has been this first week.
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Ramblings on the Radio
Radio Explained:
This story or segment is a lousy attempt to explain an inside joke between me and He Who is Him or Him Who is He (HWH). That's the new nickname of the guy I dated haphazardly since I moved to L.A. about 6 months ago. Unfortunately, our relationship is no longer what is was. But that's beside the point, which is that HWH ended up nicknaming me "radio". And for whatever reason, I grew fond of it.
He first called me this when I was very under-the-influence of my favorite medicine (see guilty pleasures, if you don't know what sort of medicine I'm talking about). While under-the-influence I (like most people) become very talkative. But I think I'm a little unique in my talkativeness, because I could virtually talk and talk and talk and it's very much like stream of consciousness.
HWH said on more than one occasion that he could practically "see" my train of thought. I'm assuming he is a visual person because he's a man, and he told me most men are visual. And he also made a comment right after meeting me about how I "must" be visual because I say "see" and I look up and two the right when I talk (but I sorta assumed that was some sort of chick-crack thing he was using on me). Anyways, this too is beside the point.
The point is, I can verbally express what is occurring in my mind (as thoughts, words, and sometimes images) as it is happening. And all I need is an audience. And thankfully for the audience, he doesn't really have to listen to what I'm saying but he can if it is more entertaining than what's being projected on the television or if he can practice guitar while I'm rambling on.
This phenomena is similar to how a radio functions because: a radio is primarily audio but still tries to create images with words (and sounds); radios doesn't require the audience to actually listen or participate with the audio; Radios hardly play the same thing for very long; and radios can be set on scan, so that the actual station changes in intervals automatically.
When I'm stoned, I'm very similar to that in the fact that: I primarily talk but I use my words and my gestures to create images; I don't require him to listen; He doesn't have to listen or participate, either, but it's always funner when he does; I change topics as quickly as they enter and exit my mind; and some times I change "stations" when my train of thought takes a new track (or thread as the puas like to call it).
I realize that this sort of weed-induced talkativeness is not uniquely my own characteristic. I'm under no delusions that this sort of behavior is common amongst those that partake of the green goodness. I have actually witnessed these symptoms first hand in second-hand situations. In fact, I have used the term "radio" to refer to HWH's mom and one of his best friends. I doubt his mom was actually under the influence of anything when she was talkative but I know for a fact his friend was, when his was accused of being a radio.
Anyhoo, now all those that read my blog know roughly the origins of the "radio" references I've made in my blog thus far. I guess the reason I'm mentioning it s much here is because I can't really keep making the inside joke with HWH because we don't really communicate much any more, which is my fault in some ways.
But I'm so busy right now, I've hardly thought about it much. I guess it's best to focus on school and not worry about something that can't be changed.
I LOVE MY SCHOOL
So speaking of school, I love it. Everyday I go to campus, I'm so thankful for being able to attend that university and I been take advantage of as many resources as I'm able to take advantage of because I'm a student.
I don't want to give out too much information about my personal life and I definitely do NOT want to jeopardized my safety but putting identifiable information on this blog. So, I'm not going to be posting too much info about my school but I have to at least mention it because it's such a HUGE part of my life right now.
And I love my school.
I love the campus. It's beautiful. I love seeing younger students visiting our campus. Twice I've seen students that had to be in pre-school or maybe kindergarten. I only say that they must have been that young because the average height of the students was probably shorter than my waist is high. And for those that know me, my waist isn't that high. And those students (which I saw today visiting our campus) look very young. They were carrying their lunch boxes and some of the lunch boxes seems to be roughly the size of some of their upper torsos.
I have no idea why students that young would be visiting our campus. I don't remember visiting a university campus (EVER) before I was enrolled in junior college.
Regardless the reason, I think it's cool to see those little people walking around enjoying our campus. I assume it has a positive impact on some of them, although, when they are that young I'm not sure.
But I do love seeing middle school and high school kids on our campus also. Especially, if those students appear to be "inner-city students".
THE RACE CARD
I know this may sound weird, but I find race relations and class distinctions/seperations in L.A. (and especially on my campus) to be very different from what I'm used to. It's sorta puzzled me since I've moved here (roughly 6 months ago).
I haven't exactly been able to specifically pin point what about it makes me feel this way but there is definitely something unfamiliar to me about the way non-visual racial and class lines are adhered to in L.A.
I'm not exactly sure if others feel this way and I assume that people from different areas of the country and the world probably think that L.A. is very diverse, which I would agree it is. However, just because there are a lot of different types of people represented in the populace of this city, doesn't mean that these types intermingle outside of formal settings.
It's weird to me. I can figuratively see segments of people who are most alike clustered together around campus and around this city. Examples: At school many of the workers (including student workers, maintenance workers, etc) are minorities (most of the time); Same is true for bank tellers, cashiers, valet parkers, car service/limo drivers, bus drivers, etc around town.
There are distinct hidden-class line. I've gone into parts of L.A. where the only minorities were paid employees (and I doubt they are being paid well enough). And I've been to areas of L.A. where I was the only white face amongst many shoppers.
Being the only white person in a group of minorities isn't particularly odd to me. I can think of many occasions where this has been the case in my past. However, the expressions and reactions to me by those minorities in L.A. was very unique to me.
STARING
People have been known to stare at me, which I find particularly odd, so I ignore a great deal of people's glances and stares because I don't want to be overly concerned with people staring at me.
I've had several friends comment the fact that people stare at me and I've noticed it myself. I am not exactly sure what the reasons are for people staring but sometimes it's because I'm the only Caucasian in a particular location or sometimes it's because I dress outlandishly. My reaction to people staring at me in the past has been to just ignore it and avoid eye contact.
Which is probably more counterproductive, so lately I've been trying to make eye contact and smile. However, some guys see smiling as a invitation and most of the time, I'm not really inviting anyone to anything, most of the time I'm just trying to be polite.
But I've notice this subject has quickly derailed, who knows where it will go now.
I've realized that if people are staring and you make eye contact with them, they general stop staring.
Staring seems to be a particular problem in L.A. too. And I figured it's because there are celebrities here and everyone's dying to see some star somewhere. I've noticed when people stare in L.A. they are generally trying to get a look at ones face. And I figure that's because they want to know if the person they are staring at is a star or not.
I've caught myself doing this myself. I look at someone in the face of a passing care because I think they may look familiar or may be someone I recognize. But I really don't know that many celebrities by face so, I don't spend much time doing this. And when they see me looking, I usually look away after I realize that I've been staring at someone who doesn't really appear to be a star anyways.
ROBIN WILLIAMS
It's funny my mind just started to wonder to a memory about a time that I worked in the Bay Area at a computer store and I thought my customer reminded me a lot of Robin Williams. I mentioned it to him and his son (or the younger boy that was with him) started to say something and the man stopped him from saying whatever he was about to say to me.
I don't really think that guy was Robin Williams, mostly, because I'm sure I would totally recognize Robin Williams if he was in front of me, since I'm a huge fan. But I've often wondered if it was his brother or something.
And I also think it's funny because I did actually see Robin Williams walking down the street in San Francisco years later but I almost didn't see him but my friend pointed him out as he rushed by us. That was definitely Robin Williams.
MY ARMS HURT
I was hoping to write more but my arms are starting to hurt...so I'm going to give them a rest for now.
And in the tradition of this radio program, I'm going to leave this blog unedited or proofread until further notice. I can't really make correction right now. [some what edited now]
Good night. And if you're not sleeping next to the one you love, may they find a way into your arms soon. Sweet dreams.
This story or segment is a lousy attempt to explain an inside joke between me and He Who is Him or Him Who is He (HWH). That's the new nickname of the guy I dated haphazardly since I moved to L.A. about 6 months ago. Unfortunately, our relationship is no longer what is was. But that's beside the point, which is that HWH ended up nicknaming me "radio". And for whatever reason, I grew fond of it.
He first called me this when I was very under-the-influence of my favorite medicine (see guilty pleasures, if you don't know what sort of medicine I'm talking about). While under-the-influence I (like most people) become very talkative. But I think I'm a little unique in my talkativeness, because I could virtually talk and talk and talk and it's very much like stream of consciousness.
HWH said on more than one occasion that he could practically "see" my train of thought. I'm assuming he is a visual person because he's a man, and he told me most men are visual. And he also made a comment right after meeting me about how I "must" be visual because I say "see" and I look up and two the right when I talk (but I sorta assumed that was some sort of chick-crack thing he was using on me). Anyways, this too is beside the point.
The point is, I can verbally express what is occurring in my mind (as thoughts, words, and sometimes images) as it is happening. And all I need is an audience. And thankfully for the audience, he doesn't really have to listen to what I'm saying but he can if it is more entertaining than what's being projected on the television or if he can practice guitar while I'm rambling on.
This phenomena is similar to how a radio functions because: a radio is primarily audio but still tries to create images with words (and sounds); radios doesn't require the audience to actually listen or participate with the audio; Radios hardly play the same thing for very long; and radios can be set on scan, so that the actual station changes in intervals automatically.
When I'm stoned, I'm very similar to that in the fact that: I primarily talk but I use my words and my gestures to create images; I don't require him to listen; He doesn't have to listen or participate, either, but it's always funner when he does; I change topics as quickly as they enter and exit my mind; and some times I change "stations" when my train of thought takes a new track (or thread as the puas like to call it).
I realize that this sort of weed-induced talkativeness is not uniquely my own characteristic. I'm under no delusions that this sort of behavior is common amongst those that partake of the green goodness. I have actually witnessed these symptoms first hand in second-hand situations. In fact, I have used the term "radio" to refer to HWH's mom and one of his best friends. I doubt his mom was actually under the influence of anything when she was talkative but I know for a fact his friend was, when his was accused of being a radio.
Anyhoo, now all those that read my blog know roughly the origins of the "radio" references I've made in my blog thus far. I guess the reason I'm mentioning it s much here is because I can't really keep making the inside joke with HWH because we don't really communicate much any more, which is my fault in some ways.
But I'm so busy right now, I've hardly thought about it much. I guess it's best to focus on school and not worry about something that can't be changed.
I LOVE MY SCHOOL
So speaking of school, I love it. Everyday I go to campus, I'm so thankful for being able to attend that university and I been take advantage of as many resources as I'm able to take advantage of because I'm a student.
I don't want to give out too much information about my personal life and I definitely do NOT want to jeopardized my safety but putting identifiable information on this blog. So, I'm not going to be posting too much info about my school but I have to at least mention it because it's such a HUGE part of my life right now.
And I love my school.
I love the campus. It's beautiful. I love seeing younger students visiting our campus. Twice I've seen students that had to be in pre-school or maybe kindergarten. I only say that they must have been that young because the average height of the students was probably shorter than my waist is high. And for those that know me, my waist isn't that high. And those students (which I saw today visiting our campus) look very young. They were carrying their lunch boxes and some of the lunch boxes seems to be roughly the size of some of their upper torsos.
I have no idea why students that young would be visiting our campus. I don't remember visiting a university campus (EVER) before I was enrolled in junior college.
Regardless the reason, I think it's cool to see those little people walking around enjoying our campus. I assume it has a positive impact on some of them, although, when they are that young I'm not sure.
But I do love seeing middle school and high school kids on our campus also. Especially, if those students appear to be "inner-city students".
THE RACE CARD
I know this may sound weird, but I find race relations and class distinctions/seperations in L.A. (and especially on my campus) to be very different from what I'm used to. It's sorta puzzled me since I've moved here (roughly 6 months ago).
I haven't exactly been able to specifically pin point what about it makes me feel this way but there is definitely something unfamiliar to me about the way non-visual racial and class lines are adhered to in L.A.
I'm not exactly sure if others feel this way and I assume that people from different areas of the country and the world probably think that L.A. is very diverse, which I would agree it is. However, just because there are a lot of different types of people represented in the populace of this city, doesn't mean that these types intermingle outside of formal settings.
It's weird to me. I can figuratively see segments of people who are most alike clustered together around campus and around this city. Examples: At school many of the workers (including student workers, maintenance workers, etc) are minorities (most of the time); Same is true for bank tellers, cashiers, valet parkers, car service/limo drivers, bus drivers, etc around town.
There are distinct hidden-class line. I've gone into parts of L.A. where the only minorities were paid employees (and I doubt they are being paid well enough). And I've been to areas of L.A. where I was the only white face amongst many shoppers.
Being the only white person in a group of minorities isn't particularly odd to me. I can think of many occasions where this has been the case in my past. However, the expressions and reactions to me by those minorities in L.A. was very unique to me.
STARING
People have been known to stare at me, which I find particularly odd, so I ignore a great deal of people's glances and stares because I don't want to be overly concerned with people staring at me.
I've had several friends comment the fact that people stare at me and I've noticed it myself. I am not exactly sure what the reasons are for people staring but sometimes it's because I'm the only Caucasian in a particular location or sometimes it's because I dress outlandishly. My reaction to people staring at me in the past has been to just ignore it and avoid eye contact.
Which is probably more counterproductive, so lately I've been trying to make eye contact and smile. However, some guys see smiling as a invitation and most of the time, I'm not really inviting anyone to anything, most of the time I'm just trying to be polite.
But I've notice this subject has quickly derailed, who knows where it will go now.
I've realized that if people are staring and you make eye contact with them, they general stop staring.
Staring seems to be a particular problem in L.A. too. And I figured it's because there are celebrities here and everyone's dying to see some star somewhere. I've noticed when people stare in L.A. they are generally trying to get a look at ones face. And I figure that's because they want to know if the person they are staring at is a star or not.
I've caught myself doing this myself. I look at someone in the face of a passing care because I think they may look familiar or may be someone I recognize. But I really don't know that many celebrities by face so, I don't spend much time doing this. And when they see me looking, I usually look away after I realize that I've been staring at someone who doesn't really appear to be a star anyways.
ROBIN WILLIAMS
It's funny my mind just started to wonder to a memory about a time that I worked in the Bay Area at a computer store and I thought my customer reminded me a lot of Robin Williams. I mentioned it to him and his son (or the younger boy that was with him) started to say something and the man stopped him from saying whatever he was about to say to me.
I don't really think that guy was Robin Williams, mostly, because I'm sure I would totally recognize Robin Williams if he was in front of me, since I'm a huge fan. But I've often wondered if it was his brother or something.
And I also think it's funny because I did actually see Robin Williams walking down the street in San Francisco years later but I almost didn't see him but my friend pointed him out as he rushed by us. That was definitely Robin Williams.
MY ARMS HURT
I was hoping to write more but my arms are starting to hurt...so I'm going to give them a rest for now.
And in the tradition of this radio program, I'm going to leave this blog unedited or proofread until further notice. I can't really make correction right now. [some what edited now]
Good night. And if you're not sleeping next to the one you love, may they find a way into your arms soon. Sweet dreams.
tears are like throw-up
What I learned in class today and how it applies to the seduction community:
"Tears are like throw-up. When you see someone doing it [crying or throwing up or any number of emotions], you want to do it yourself."
Women are socially empathetic and emotive (side note: the word emo comes from the word emotive or the ability to express emotions).
If a pick-up artist can empathetically make a girl feel strong (hopefully positive) emotions by being emotive he can build comfort with that girl.
I think this is sorta what break-through comfort is based largely off of but I'm not that familiar with break-through comfort (yet), so I could be wrong.
I'll have to write more when I have more time. And I'll have to finish reading Magic Bullets to understand break-through comfort more.
"Tears are like throw-up. When you see someone doing it [crying or throwing up or any number of emotions], you want to do it yourself."
Women are socially empathetic and emotive (side note: the word emo comes from the word emotive or the ability to express emotions).
If a pick-up artist can empathetically make a girl feel strong (hopefully positive) emotions by being emotive he can build comfort with that girl.
I think this is sorta what break-through comfort is based largely off of but I'm not that familiar with break-through comfort (yet), so I could be wrong.
I'll have to write more when I have more time. And I'll have to finish reading Magic Bullets to understand break-through comfort more.
I almost forgot about wit (preview)
Wit is the ability to find similiarities between seemingly different things.
I love wit and I love parallels too!
Judgement is the ability to find differences between seemingly similar things.
I'll write more when I have some free time.
I love wit and I love parallels too!
Judgement is the ability to find differences between seemingly similar things.
I'll write more when I have some free time.
Grades and what I want to be when I grow up (preview)
I don't have a lot of time right now because I really should be studying.
GRADES
I got an A+, and B-, and B- last quarter that's a 3.1 according to the school website. My overall GPA is 3.127 (or something insane like that). I would love to be a 4.0 student but I'm struggling just to keep my grades as they are. Better luck next time, right?
RHETORICIAN
I want to be a rhetorician when I grow up. Thank you. Stay tuned for more randomness.
GRADES
I got an A+, and B-, and B- last quarter that's a 3.1 according to the school website. My overall GPA is 3.127 (or something insane like that). I would love to be a 4.0 student but I'm struggling just to keep my grades as they are. Better luck next time, right?
RHETORICIAN
I want to be a rhetorician when I grow up. Thank you. Stay tuned for more randomness.
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"Hey this is just a shot in the dark but were you at one of the LA bootcamps in February? I was one of the students and there was this girl that Savoy invited there to help out. She was real cool and winged me in a bunch of sets. I can't remember her name though. But you seem to fit the bill. Me and her were both from the same Bay Area town and your from the Bay too from what I've read.
Anyway, I like your blog. I'm trying to write my own but I am REALLY bad at keeping it updated. I have a ton of blogs that I need to finish. Oh and while I'm leaving a comment on this blog I just want to say that I totally agree with you on the hair. I don't know how too many guys I know let that shit go out of control. I'm debating on whether to do the eyebrow waxing thing though...Well that's all I got to say. Let me know if that was you at Privelege. Later!
H"