Friday, February 9, 2007

Lifestyle and how important I think it is

I was reading Sinn's blog and one of his posts (Why some guys never get better) got me thinking (as his posts usually do). A quote from the blog:

"3. Lifestyle. You want to set up your life in a path that women are a part of your lifestyle. You should be going to parties, classes, dinners, plays etc.. You need to actually get a life that a woman wants to be a part of. And have a social life where women are introduced to you. "

I happen to agree that lifestyle is so important. It reminds me of a guy I dated and dumped. Here's the story:

I met this very attractive guy, We'll call him Dead-end Dave. He was hot. He gave me his number and we eventually went on a "date" (a really date, where he paid for dinner and we caught the sunset at the pier).

We had MAD chemistry together. When we kissed my body felt similar to the way I feel after I have had an orgasm/GREAT! I felt this intense energy between us. He felt it too. We eventually had sex and that was amazing also.

But I had to dump him. Because his lifestyle didn't match mine and he lack ambition and drive. Two things that I have in spades at the moment. His lifestyle didn't appeal to me in the least. He had a dead-end job, he mentioned he wanted to pursue a career in electrical something or other and that he was studying to take a test that would allow him to do so. His creative goal in life was he wanted to be a DJ.

During the time I dated him, I think he studied for that test once for a few minutes and spent a lot of time DJing and smoking pot. Now, if you know me, you know I love pot. So I didn't have a problem with that but I do have a problem dating a guy that seems to be going NOWHERE, especially when I feel like a lot of my time and energy goes into advancing myself and my life

Also when I first started dating him he was borrowing a car from a friend, which eventually he had to give back. He was living paycheck to paycheck. Which I can understand because I am in a similar situation myself but I feel like my passion for education is a positive step in the direction of taking care of this.

His apartment was a mess. The cupboard where he kept the garbage was filthy and stank. His refrigrator was in no better condition. His room was a disaster and his bathroom hadn't be properly cleaned in what appeared to be years. I didn't want to spend time at his place and spending time at my place was impossible.

I am NOT a gold digger. I've never dated any guy because of the money he has and I've only really dated one guy who could be considered RICH. But most of the guys I date make more money than me (since I am a full-time student). To date someone who has very little and is doing very little to change that was a deal breaker.

I want a partner. I want someone I can build a life with and create things with. I don't want a guy that's just meandering through life even if it means foregoing great sex and a handsome package.

3 comments:

Matt said...

This is a good point. I think it basically applies to both genders.

For example, I have this buddy of mine who just go engaged to his long time girlfriend. His girlfriend is absolutely gorgeous. The problem is the girl has no life! All she ever wants to do is sit at home and watch TV all the time. What's even worse is that she makes my buddy stay home with her.

So, despite my buddy having an attractive girlfriend, he's in a losing situation. The girl has no passion for life and she is dragging him down with her. It's sad really.

I don't care how attractive a girl is, if she doesn't lead a fun and active lifestyle then I would never date her. Just goes to show you how much a person's passion is attributed towards attraction.

-Matt Savage

Ana Renee Jones said...

Wow, Matt...it looks like you have a real life situation to create a great opener that women would love to discuss with you.

Your mission, if you choose to accept it is:

Ask 5 women tonight (when you go out) their female opinion about what's more important looks or lifestyle. Give either the example you gave me or give my example.

The opener would go something like this:

Hey GUYS, I need a female opinion. What's more important: Looks or Lifestyle? I can't stay long my friends are waiting but my good buddy just got engaged to an absolutely gorgeous girl but she has no life. She has no ambition and sits at home watching tv. And she makes him stay home too. What should he do? (or would you date a guy like that?)

Try it and blog about the results.

Matt said...

Ana, that is a great opener and it was just sitting there in my head all along...who woulda thunk it!?

I'll give it a try this week and see what happens.

-Matt