Ode to Guys who Know What They are Doing

This rant was written in response to a rant written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal which I first found at Savoy's blog

This is a tribute to the guys who know what they are doing. The guys that finish first; that never get stuck as 'just friend'; that know better than to endure any whining and bitching from girls about other guys; while getting what they really want. This is dedicated to those guys who have more than a shoulder to offer and who never restrain themselves to tentative hugs; "those guys who hold open doors" and give reassuring pats on the back just as well as they give females organisms and who have better things to do than sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores.

This is in honor of the guys that make women feel cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy without explicitly saying it, because they know how to interact with the opposite sex. "This is in honor of guys with open minds"; with social skills; with an honest assessment of their dating abilities and value. "This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style."

But more importantly, This is for the girls who don't get so drunk and bewildered at parties and to the guys who make women want take advantage of the guys at her door; for the guys who never make girls think of wanting buffers at bar and guys who make girls forget about the rest of the creepy male population; for the guys who know how to make a girl give compliments to men but also give compliments out occasionally anyway, for the guys who knows how to play the game well and understands its unwritten rules; for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material and end up being boyfriends, for all the great guys who can never be overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated; for all the fascinating guys who never manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned; this is for all of you.

This is for that time you did not tolerate her 40 urgent messages on your cell phone; and when you called her back after you said you would; and the time you didn't allow her to spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. This is to the guys and girls who know a woman complaining about her boyfriend for 3 hours is intolerable and won't sit around partaking in such base behavior. And this is for any guy or girl who understand any guy who would waste his time encouraging that behavior should be considered a chump and a jerk off. This is for guys who have more exciting things in their life than the best killing spree they have ever orchestrated in GTA4; who doesn't start rumors and the guys who never make her consider him as one of the most repulsive people in the world. And to the guys who act mature and who don't really have anything against anyone else; and guys who aren't permanently attached to their game consoles and who do not help her concoct counter-rumors to spread around. This is also for that time you went out and met a woman when you didn't have a date; to guys who don't need to vow that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you; This is for the guys who get to know everyone at the party, even if the beer is awful; and who knows how to flirt shamelessly with women; and to those guys who never make a girl want to utter those dreaded words “oh, but we’re just friends!” And who knows how to be more than a symbolic warm body for her ego. Because you know what you're doing when it comes to women and you're not so clueless to think anything less can be consider attractive or desirable to women. To guys who know 'nice' is code for lame, boring, and socially awkward and you refused to be consider as such. Thank you.


This is for the amazing guys who always get credit where credit is due. And, perhaps more reassuring, the remarkable guys who seem to get laid as often as they should. Because they have taken the time to figure how to interact with women in ways women enjoy. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many guys are super clueless and misinformed about the opposite sex and there are too many girls who enable and encourage those men. Many of them claim they are just nice guy, but in reality they are the highest form of the primate specimen, they are well trained in putting up with bad behavior; confusing such things as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship” as a reflection of the women and do not acknowledge these terms only reflect their lack of dating skills. Yet, these guys continue to lament the lack of datable women in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date personality to attract and seduce women for them. That's the definition of true jerks. Sorry, guys, you are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why you would continue to blame your dating woes on women when you lack the qualities women want to sleep with. You don't have to be an complete ass to sleep with women, you just have to offer women something they want. But one thing I can say is that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon exists for a reason. There are definitely many guys who grow out of those limited of thoughts and realize they could be dating great girls, not but themselves a social disadvantages. The tricky part is learning how to interact with those girls, and even trickier, finding other guys who have made great strides in this area.

So, until get your proverbially head out of your metaphorical ass, I propose a toast to all the guys who know what they are doing. You know who you are, and I know you’re always described as attractive and desirable. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs men like you to please women like me, your holding open of doors, your social skills, your propensity to be a man with beautiful women in your life. For all the attraction, comfort, and seduction you create, build, and accomplish; for all the situations where your the face and name cant be ignored; "my accolades, my acknowledgment, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming."