More randomness

This blog post is going to be about a bunch of different stuff. I have so much I want to document but I don't have much time. I have a brief moment before running off to a weekend of camping. I'm so excited; I haven't been camping in many years. I have very fond memories of camping from growing up. In fact, I was camping when my younger brother was born.

Speaking of which, my younger brother (whom I saw this week on my return home for spring break) is the inspiration of my first random rambling.

THINGS I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT: IRONY

In the last few years I've grown to appreciate irony more than I ever have before. So I found it very ironic that when I saw my younger brother this week he had a beard. Especially considering my recent post on the subject of hairy men. I'll write more about irony later.

THINGS I MISS ABOUT HOME: FAMILY/FRIENDS

I really missing being in the bay area. Everything is so familiar to me. I know how to get around and short cuts. I've spent the majority of my life there and when I went back I realized how much I miss it. I really miss my family. My Mom, my younger brother, my younger sister and her family.

It was my youngest nephew's birthday and we celebrated with a BBQ. It was awesome to see my nephews. I love those boys so much. I consider myself blessed because I was able to see both of them born and now I've been to both of their first birthday parties.

My brother and I were also able to take the oldest nephew to see TMNT. This was pretty cool because my younger brother used to be a big TMNT fan when he was younger. And I used to take my nephew out every week to do fun stuff with him before I got so busy with school.

My friends are awesome too. I wasn't able to see everyone but I did see my closest friends. We enjoyed a crab feed, dim sum, a bed and breakfast, and Chinese food while watching videos. I'll write more later.

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT LA: LESS DRIVING

Speaking of irony, it's ironic that I drive less now that I live in LA. In the bay area I lived about 50 miles from SF (or at least from the Mission District) and spent a great deal of time commuting. Now, that I'm in LA, I drive considerable less. It's pretty ironic to me.

THINGS I LIKE THAT PUAS DO: ROLE PLAYING, QUALIFYING V.2, IDENTITY, and FRAMES.

I'll have to write about this later. I'm running out of time right now.

THE CUBE:

I feel disappointed I never got the cube routine used on me by my favorite pua...ugh. Oh well such is it.

I'll write more later and reply to the comments when I have more time. Take care and stay tuned to the only radio that doesn't actually make audible noise.

Happy Equinox day

So today is March 21 and that means the day is just as long as the night or the night is just as short as the day or something like that. It only happens twice a year and it's happening today. From here until September 21, the days will be longer than the nights. I am sure my explanation is extremely oversimplified but it doesn't matter.

Back to studying for my communication studies final and writing my last 30 page paper that is due tomorrow.

Things I can live without: hairy men

I know it's a huge trend right now but I do NOT like it. This blog was prompted by one of Sinn's resent blog posts and the comments left by other men. I'd leave a comment on his blog but that's his playground and this is mine.

Sinn is very fashionable. He gets it. He understands the importance of staying well groomed even if it's time consuming or painful. Women do it all the time and they can appreciate when a guy does it some of the time. And besides I hate all that hair anyways.

I hate these shaggy beards that are so popular. I don't know one guy who looks better with a beard, not one (unless he's ugly then maybe he looks better covered by hair). Some chicks dig it, well I guess that's cool but this is my blog and I say SHAVE IT ALREADY.

excess hair is gross, it traps bacteria, and stinks. Remove it from you brow, your jaw line, your back, your chest, your "package" area, from everywhere besides your head. And if you have long hair, cut that shit too. Long hair looks awful on most men. If you look like you're in an 80's heavy metal band you look outdated and socially clueless.

Some facial hair is ok. It depends on the guy or on the design. But I still think less is more. I'd rather see a handsome face than see it buried under a bunch of hair. If a guys has a beard, I assume he's either lazy or he's insecure. Either way, not worth my time.

But I notice guys usually wait until you've been dating them for a while then they slowly start to shave less. That's not cool. How would you like it if I did that to you. Or better yet, how would you like it if I cut my hair ultra short after we've been dating for a little while. Not cool, right? Than do me a favor and remove it.

I spend a great deal of time removing excess hair, so I don't want to hear any guy complain that it takes too much time. Buck up and grab the razor.

I don't want to hear the evolutionary defense that if women didn't like it humans would have been extinct by now because men didn't have razors in the olden days. Women didn't have razors either back then, now we do. And I can't believe there is any man who would like a hairy chick over her non-hairy counterpart. Or wait, do you think this is one of those things you can have a double standard about? I don't think so. You want a girl to shave her legs, keep her pussy hair trimmed and removed excess hair from her upper lip, than you should be kind enough to do the equivalent.

I don't want to hear any of this "We didn't make the world; We only live in it" bullshit. You live in it and therefore you contribute to it. Perpetuating double standards is just as bad as creating them. So make an appointment with the threader or waxer today.

And as far as people calling Sinn a wussy, I'd have to say compare the results. Who's pulling home more chicks consistently? The well-groomed guy or his hairy counterpart? Being a wussy is being effected by manly peer pressure instead of doing what works to bringing home the ladies. Remember what's attractive is being the leader of men....not being the follower of them. And if you shave, you're preselected by me, so there's two attraction switches flipped for shaving and not listening to other men (who probably bring home less women).

Ok, enough about my hair rant....shave damnit.

Things I Cannot Live Without: LOVE

I love love. I'm a hopeless romantic. In the worst kind of way. I idealize everything. I see the world with a child-like naiveté. And it keeps getting me into trouble. I'm not sure how I made it this far with such an quixotic outlook on life.

I want to believe the world is the way I was told it was; the way we tell our children it is. I want to believe all the lies I've been told. Lies about love, hate, America, the world, people, religion, history, truth, the future, dating, justice, sex, hope, responsibility, promises, prayers, relationships, drugs, and whatever else we've been lied to about. But in particular love.

So tonight's radio broadcast is going to be about love and somethings I really love.

MUSIC

I love music. It's be a huge part of my life and I relate things to music. I love music so much that I have to limit the amount of music I am exposed to because I feel guilty for not giving my music enough love already. But I am not musical. I can't singer or play an instrument. I just love hearing music. I love lyrics best. I love lyrics that tell stories or make me feel like how I feel is articulated in an audio translation. I've got a thing for hearing voices and listening to music can heighten my sexual experience easily. Most of my closest friends and ex-lovers have been musicians or consumed by some aspect of music. It's how I categorize my memories, emotions, and hopes. It's probably a good thing that I don't have an ipod; if I had one I might
not ever pay attention to anyone or anything around me. I'd be lost in my own head for hours. I write to music and want the things that I write reflective of my love for music. I've been asking friends and lovers to make me mixed c.d.s for years. It started with Jealous Jason. I've gotten introduced to my favorite music by someone I've loved or admired. Some themes I've received over the years: angel songs, slow & mellow songs, songs sung by females, one hit wonders, love songs, sex songs, madona & michael jackson, I'm sorta crazy songs, etc. I can listen to a song with good lyrics over and over and over again. I can listen to mixed c.d.s repeatedly and go for months without changing the mix c.d. in my car stereo. Music is playing right now in the back ground. I make play lists based of my writing projects. I assign people songs, usually guys I am dating. He who is him (HWH) is assigned the song, "Blue Eyes" that I posted previously; or he's "Wish you were here" by pinkfloyd. Jealous Jason is song has been "You oughta know" by Alanis Morrisette. Bass Bob is "Her middle name is boom" by Glassjaw. "Angel" for a different ex-boyfriend because he told me that song was about heroin and since he was an ex-user (I believed him...remembering I am starry-eyed). I am not going to post a bunch of lyrics on this post, because it would just take up too much room but I'll list a few songs that I've been listening today. I love "Fidelity" by Regina Spektor and I love the video. I'd say she capture I sentiment that I often have very well and I love the color at the end of that video. I love music and lyrics (the movie and otherwise). I love the Presidents of the United States of America. I love when he sings to me while playing guitar. I'll miss that. I've thought of movie ideas based off of song lyrics. "White Wedding Dress" by boysetsfire. I love concerts. "I Need Two Girls if I can't have you". I think that's enough about how much I love music.

MOVIES

I love movies. I can't believe The Teenage Mutant Turtles is going to be a new movie. Ohmigawd! I love romantic comedies. I wish I could see more movies. It seems like I watch less movies since I've moved to L.A. I own nearly no d.v.d.s Exccpt for Amelie, American Beauty, The Story of Us, EverAfter, What Dreams may Come, and Pay it forward. I love watching little kid movies in the theatre at night when no one else is there. I love snuggling up with a guy during scary movies. I love crying at movies. I've only walked out of a movie once because I was too disturbed, in Boys Don't Cry. I love movies with life lessons. I love pornos, even though they are not movies and I don't own any. I love Jackie Chan movies. I love City of Lost Children. I love movies with great music. I love movie posters.

I should be writing right now...maybe, I'll continue this post later.

[unedited]

Customized t-shirt sayings I want made

~ Don't neg me.
~Unplowable
~Dude, go reframe.
~ You can peacock better than that.
~ Social Proof
~ Pivots have more fun.
~ Wing Woman (on the front). [with little angel wings on the back] (on the back)
~ That was not cocky or funny.
~ Considered this a take-away (on the back).
~ My brother has more game than you.
~ Have you seen Michelle?
~ Comfort comes after attraction.
~ I just saw your twin. (written in text message font)
~ I don't thumb wrestle.
~ Is this thread ever going to end?
~ Next stack please.
~ You can't control my frame.
~ You and I would never get a long.
~ There's a 3 second rule for a reason.
~ That's not a DHV.
~ Find. Meet. Attraction. Make him commit.
~ This is not a shit test.
~ No AFCs allowed, please.
~ Don't make me use my bitch shield on you.
~ This is not LMR.
~ You rock because you like Cold Case. You suck because you don't smoke joints.
Or
~ You rock because you ___________. You suck because you _____________.
~ I am a radio.

P.S.
I almost forgot:
~ Go kino yourself.

5 things I like that PUAs do

I don't know how to introduce this piece. I've got so many thoughts buzzing around my head, it's hard to see the metaphorical tree through the satirical forest. Except for the trees are thought whizzing by as if I was a symbolic skier racing down a tree covered mountain. I am continuously getting smacked in the face with the branches from said trees.

Or another allegory, a wise man once say; I am a radio. The thoughts streaming through my head are the radio wave, my mind is the transceiver, and my mouth is the obnoxiously loud speaking blasting the ever changing station in my head, maryjane is the electricity that fuels this chaos. It's even harder to express this in written form. See verbally it's different, the audio that comes out of my mouth is so natural. The wise man, that was mentioned before (we'll call him: "He who is him" or "Him who is he": HWH for short)* So, anyhoo, HWH used to say he could practically see my train of thought. That's when HWH came up with "You're a radio". So now it's an inside joke. You-had-to-be-there sort of thing, ya know?

Oh well, so if this doesn't make sense to you; don't worry. It's not supposed to. You should only worry if this is crystal clear to you.

This is my defense of the seduction community (and this should help people understand my reasoning or support of this group of guys).

* This is the best way I can describe him who is he. Trust me if I had a better why I'd use it but It's hard to name all that he embodies.

1. inner game
"Learning's golden gifts" ~ "Dr. Faustus" by Christopher Marlowe

I have yet to find a definition for inner game. It's basically an multi-variant and interdisciplinary set of self-awareness knowledge structure or latter or what I like to call rhizome. "Rhizomatic" isn't a real word (yet) but it's a philosophy or theory. You'll have to look it up to figure out what i it really means. I'm going to use the concept as best I understand it to explain some thing, the way I see them.

Rhizome means that there is no one true base or root; it's not like a tree. A tree grows from one set of roots, if you damage those roots enough the whole tree will be damage and all parts of the tree come from that single root system. Rhizomes roots are complex system; it's more like grass. This probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense so I'll move on. No need to further complicate an already complicated concept by butchering it.

If inner game takes on rhizomatic features. It basically means there are many different roots (subficial...is this even a word? I'm using words that don't exist in the dictionary)** Inter game isn't just one thing or it doesn't just root from one base or one source. It's multi variant and multi equative (shit another word that doesn't exist in the dictionary...it's hard to write what I mean when words fail to express what my thoughts truly represent...I don't know what the point of mastering language is if it can express what's really going on in my mind?).

I believe everything is rhizomatic; love, life, sex, thoughts, memories, relationships, ideas, behaviors, actions, language, art, etc. Not to mention, inner game.

I believe to some degree all human beings are striving to effect some aspect of inner game in their life, regardless of they are pick-up artists, or everyone else. The pick-up artists are just more systematic and thorough about it (or at least they strive to be). And this is one thing I like about them. They are pushing themselves and ultimately the evolution envelope further and they brings the rest of us along with them, even if we are kicking and screaming the whole way there.

When one person focusing on making themselves better it has a profound effect not only in the life of the one doing it but in the lives of those surrounding that person striving to be a better person. You get enough people doing this and suddenly there's a shift towards improvement in so many different areas. I wish I could be more specific or give more examples but I'm having a hard time.

It's a complicated concepts and it's not easy to explain without simplifying it to the point of altering it. I believe this is how many of the PUA concepts are though. That's why it's so difficult to understand, master, and teach. That's why I admire those that can do anyone of those; not to mention, someone who can do all three of those. It amazes me. If I really think about it, my thoughts and emotions get overwhelming. It scares me how intense this stuff can be.

I'd love to learn what the PUAs know about inner game and be able to apply it to my life and see what if any effect it has on me, my life, and those around me. And then I wonder if it can be taught to or beneficial to other women.

I've notice I'm fascinated with parallels and I'm dying to discover, theorize, or connect the parallels between what the PUAs have already learned and it's female equivalent.

So inner game is something I like about the PUAs. I am not going to keep going, I think it's pretty clear what I mean. Plus I am getting tired and have 4 more sections to write. This may have to be segmented blog post. I'm not sure how much more I can write.

**roots and underground grass grows and trunks of trees grow above ground. Roots represent the inner part, the grass represents the surface level manifestation of what's happening below the surface (subficial)

2. calibrations/microcalibration

Calibrations is another amazing concept that blows my mind. It reminds me of what good actors do or it reminds me of one of Sinn's recent blog posts (I can't believe how insanely knowledgeable that guy is).

I studied theatre for three years and 2 of those years was spent learning under one of the best teachers I've ever had, and probably one of the better acting teachers. That latter part probably can't be proven. He rigorously taught countless students at junior college the method acting style.

Much of it was lost on me. I wish I could have had 3 more years studying with him but I was clueless at the time and didn't make the most out of it and now he's retired.

Anyhoo, the concept of calibration remind me of the work we were doing in intermediate and advanced acting. It's call being in the "moment" or "checking in". And it relied heavily on responding to what is happening at any given moment on stage. It's not about pretending. It's not about acting or displaying or faking. It's about relating to the other person on stage and reacting to what they are giving to you. It's actually very difficult to do this but when done well it's amazing to watch and be a part of.

This is what PUAs do with women (if they are good). They take when she says, an expression on her face, a change in body language, a tonality alteration, an eye shift, of glance or any subtle reaction and they use that knowledge to proceed.

The most basic part to this would be IOIs or IODs and the PUAs response to them.

You can't calibrate if you're not paying attention, if you're not focused. You can make you're next move if you can't see what move she just made. It's like playing chess blind. Only I've never played chess, so maybe that's not the best example. But I am blind; literally I am legally blind in my right eye; but figuratively I am pretty blind in other ways too. So, I am fairly confident in my the blind metaphor of the example....moving on:

So, I basically like calibration.

3. Disqualifiers

This is gold to me. If you don't get or understand this concept, your game may be less than what it can be. PERIOD. I can't explain why it's so powerful but I know it works. and I know it works and many different levels. It's an art within itself to master.

4. understanding the opposite sex
"Sporting in the dalliance of love." Dr. Faustus by Christopher Marlowe

My biggest sticking point is understanding men. PERIOD.

I'm starting to recognize a pattern of behavior that I display that is probably very off putting to the men I date.  I

"Its not until we try to understand the opposite
sex that we can start having real success with
them." Joseph Mathews. 

If there was an e-book on this concept I'd buy it in a heartbeat, and I'd pay what it's worth too. This is definitely an area where the PUAs have us girls out foxed. PUAs know so much about women it's almost ridiculous. I've learned more about myself from guys than I think I've learned on my own. Guys seems to see things about me that I'm figuratively blind to. And they have this great analytical way of expressing it or a whole different perspective to understanding it. I wish I understood myself completely and I wish I understood men enough to deal with them better.

[I'm tired...I'm going to leave this blog unedited and incomplete. I know I'm leaving social capital unwritten about again, but it's such a huge concept to tackle and I'm exhausted, I can't really function beyond this point. And no one really reads my blog, so I think it can wait until I am more coherent. and when my eyes don't hurt from being so emotional. and when it's not nearly 2 am...I know that the time stamped on this blog is going to be the time I started writing this but that was a long time ago...it's 1:42am now...)

5. Social capital

I feel awful

I hurt someone I really care about and broke his trust more than once. I'm not proud of what I've done or happy where it's gotten me. I know I should think positive (and I will) but at the same time I just need to deal with what I've done. And I've done something awful so I am dealing with the effects of that and it makes me feel awful.


I want to be a person of my word and I want to help and I want to do things I am proud of and that people can be proud of me for doing. I want to be strong and happy and in love.

This song makes me happy:

Artist: Cary Brothers Lyrics
Song: Blue Eyes Lyrics

Wish enough, wise man'll tell you a lie
Window broke, torn up screens
Who'd have thought that you'd dream
Of a single tragic scene

I just wanna sing a song with you
I just want to take it off of you

Cause Blue Eyes
You are all that I need
Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the sweet to my mean

Fess it up, dot on the palm of your hand
I can help you to stand
Saved it up for this dance
Tell me all the things you can

I just wanna sing a song with you
I just wanna be the one that's true

Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the secret I keep
Cause Blue Eyes

All the lights on and you are alive
But you can't point the way to your heart
So sublime, when the stars are aligned
But you don't know
You don't know the greatness you are

Cause Blue Eyes
You are destiny's scene
Cause Blue Eyes
I just wanna be the one

I just wanna sing a song with you
I just wanna get it on with you

Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the secret I keep
Cause Blue Eyes
I just wanna sing a song with you…