Omigawd! My Little Bro F closed....hahaha!

I'll write more later.

More randomness

This blog post is going to be about a bunch of different stuff. I have so much I want to document but I don't have much time. I have a brief moment before running off to a weekend of camping. I'm so excited; I haven't been camping in many years. I have very fond memories of camping from growing up. In fact, I was camping when my younger brother was born.

Speaking of which, my younger brother (whom I saw this week on my return home for spring break) is the inspiration of my first random rambling.

THINGS I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT: IRONY

In the last few years I've grown to appreciate irony more than I ever have before. So I found it very ironic that when I saw my younger brother this week he had a beard. Especially considering my recent post on the subject of hairy men. I'll write more about irony later.

THINGS I MISS ABOUT HOME: FAMILY/FRIENDS

I really missing being in the bay area. Everything is so familiar to me. I know how to get around and short cuts. I've spent the majority of my life there and when I went back I realized how much I miss it. I really miss my family. My Mom, my younger brother, my younger sister and her family.

It was my youngest nephew's birthday and we celebrated with a BBQ. It was awesome to see my nephews. I love those boys so much. I consider myself blessed because I was able to see both of them born and now I've been to both of their first birthday parties.

My brother and I were also able to take the oldest nephew to see TMNT. This was pretty cool because my younger brother used to be a big TMNT fan when he was younger. And I used to take my nephew out every week to do fun stuff with him before I got so busy with school.

My friends are awesome too. I wasn't able to see everyone but I did see my closest friends. We enjoyed a crab feed, dim sum, a bed and breakfast, and Chinese food while watching videos. I'll write more later.

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT LA: LESS DRIVING

Speaking of irony, it's ironic that I drive less now that I live in LA. In the bay area I lived about 50 miles from SF (or at least from the Mission District) and spent a great deal of time commuting. Now, that I'm in LA, I drive considerable less. It's pretty ironic to me.

THINGS I LIKE THAT PUAS DO: ROLE PLAYING, QUALIFYING V.2, IDENTITY, and FRAMES.

I'll have to write about this later. I'm running out of time right now.

THE CUBE:

I feel disappointed I never got the cube routine used on me by my favorite pua...ugh. Oh well such is it.

I'll write more later and reply to the comments when I have more time. Take care and stay tuned to the only radio that doesn't actually make audible noise.

It's been a long day and an even longer week

I don't want to dwell on the negative so I won't. So I'll dwell on the positive. Although, today has been a long day, it's been a productive day. I got a lot of things done.

I got up early to to proof read my Communications studies project one more time before going to school early enough to get it printed before class. I proof read and edited my paper again. Made some adjustments and had a lovely bus ride to school.

The computer lab was open and I started to print my project section by section, title page, project, reference page, appendix content sheet, and the 5 parts to the appendix. By the time I was done printing it, I had probably about 40 pages to turn in. I had to staple it into two sections, my 18 pages that I created and the 20 odd pages to the appendix.

I was happy. I felt like I really accomplished something. It wasn't perfect but it was clean and crisp. I felt like I met the assignment requirements well. I'd been working on this for weeks, when I know some students started their paper last night. It felt exciting. Like I gave it everything I could, time, energy, effort, dedication, persistence, and I was proud.

My teacher said no one ever asked him to the do this subject before. I have been working with him for the last 10 weeks to make sure I was doing it properly and even though I think he'll find areas for improvement. I feel like I met most of his requirements.

Every time I've met him he's given me feedback and helped me sculpt this into a better project. He kept me focused and guided me well through the project. He pushed me and challenged me to do something, I've never done before and it felt great.

I've never done anything like this before. I've known for years that I've been interested in social sciences and scientific research into social and gender dynamics. Especially in regards to dating and sex.

I saw that movie Kinsey with the guy I was dating at the time and I was fascinated by it. I think that would be a cool job to have, sex scientist. And that movie was so well written. I loved the way the story devises were used. The question section adding to the narrative. The interweaving of the two parts. I remember just loving the writing and the editing and the acting. It was great.

But I've always (or at least for many years) been interested into television shows that discussed the science of love, sex, and/or dating. Even if they are reality based and that aren't necessarily written creatively but definitely well and some what witty at times.

I've never really been that great at sciences like biology, or chemistry, or the such. In fact, the sciences that I have taken in college have been either the physical sciences (geology, anthropology, etc) and social sciences (psychology, etc). I really like the social sciences, especially this communication studies class.

I sorta wish I could be a communication studies major, but I can't it's too late. It's an impacted major and I'd don't have enough time to go back and take all of the requirements and graduate in the amount of time they require me to. I wish I did. And I wish they weren't so eager to push me through to graduation.

I really like school and I love being there on campus learning. I sorta wish I could be a student forever. I just love being around the thriving learning environment. It's has a strong vibe to it.

My professor told me some of the research he's working on and it all sounds so interesting. Studying imagination and trying to prove the current theory wrong or proving your own theory. There's all kinds of research available, it's just too bad I am an English major.

I guess there's nothing stopping me from being an English major and assisting in other departmental research or outside classroom learning. But it's time consuming to be a full time student.

I was away from home for 12 hours today. And most of that time was spend doing something that had to do with the classes I am currently taking.

After I turned in my Communication Studies project, I went to edit and print another paper that was do 2 hours after I had turned in my commstu project. But my second paper was an English paper. It's funny, how difficult I find my own major.

I've also been working on this English paper for several weeks. I'm not as proud of that paper, so I am not going to post it. The topic I choose was Faustus. And I struggled to come up with a thesis. I came up with great ideas and interesting observations about the text but I struggled immensely with formulating a proper thesis for the things I was observing.

I saw my T.A. 5 times about the paper in the last two weeks. I probably emailed him more than twice that many times. I also saw my teacher twice and probably emailed him about the same amount of times that I emailed my T.A. I am sure both of them were happy that the papers were do today. It meant they wouldn't be hearing from me about the satirical parallels in Dr. Faustus by Christopher Marlowe.

So I turned in the paper at 1pm and sat through a lecture about Books 11 & 12 in Paradise Lost. Before grabbing my first real bite to eat all day and checking my voicemail to find out that one of my girlfriends was dumped last night. So I spent part of my lunch trying to help her feel better.

Today must have been a female energized day because I got about half a dozen calls from females in my life today.

My girlfriend that lives in L.A. was calling to give the weekly run down of weekend happenings. While updating me on her love life and most recent exploits.

My mom called to confirm my flight information, since I text message her this morning "Oh Shit, I just realized I have a final Friday 2-23 in the morning, I can't fly out until Saturday."

Then I spent an hour in a very haphazard discussion section that was supposed to help us with the preparing for the final. My T.A. is a nice guy (and I hate to use that word) but he's pretty clueless when it comes to actually facilitating the learning process. And I have no doubt that he needs to learn some of this PUA stuff.

And after that I studied in the library for 4 hours for my English final that is on Monday....

And while I was studying I got another call each from my girlfriends and mom. On the way home, I called my friend from the Bay Area who just got dumped last night and spent a good 2 hours on the phone with her, while I was getting home on the bus (which takes about 40 minutes to do).

I really tried to help her. I tried to give her advice and techniques for dealing with this. She said she felt better and she seemed a lot less emotionally upset and she had a good outlook by the time we were done. which makes me feel good.

By the time I was done talking to her I was exhausted. And my L.A. girlfriend called. We both decided to stay in tonight, thankfully. It's a good end to a long day.

This week has been pretty long but I've also gotten a lot of things done. Like yesterday, I got my medical marijuana prescription/card. So now, I am set...I don't have to deal with hassling to find medicine anymore.

It was sorta time consuming to go out to Hollywood to see the doctor and I was in the office for 2 hours but at least it gave me a break from my papers. Plus, it could have been a lot worse. I was on my medication when I showed up and it was really funny to read the disclaimer that they have you sign. The funniest parts were when the form was describing some of the side effects of the medication.

Euphoria....hahahahaha. Talkativeness, loss of conceptual time, short term memory loss, lack of concentration, etc. The list was hilarious. I asked for a copy but they refused.

It was completely different than the first experience I had with a friend in Northern California. She asked me to go with her to renew her prescription and it had to be the strangest thing I've ever experienced.

First it wasn't in a doctor's office, it was in some Jamaican woman's apartment in Berkeley but it was more like Oakland. There were people just laying around freshly baked. She had banana bread that just melted me my chair.

We had to wait a long time, and she kept saying that the Doctor would be up in just a little while. And the whole time I'm expecting a doctor to walk through the door. Then she finally says that the Doctor is in New FUCKIN' Zealand and a goat on his farm just ate through his internet cable and he had to run to the store in town to buy a new cable so that he could teleconference via video internet.

Eventually my girlfriend went into a bedroom turned into an office and spoke to the Doctor, who was in New FUCKIN' Zealand and she got her prescription from the doctor, while I was smoking the fastest Jay I'd ever smoked with the others who were waiting in the living room.

It was the trippiest thing ever.

But it was cool, she got her script and I was happy from the banana bread and free bud they were sharing with me. I'd say sharing is caring and a friend with weed is a friend indeed.

This time I just sat in a plain office, there wasn't any banana bread or jays, just a bunch of folks waiting to see the doctor.

Medical marijuana doctors have it made. That doctor works 4 days a week for 5 hours a day (20 hours total) and brings in mad cash and has time to be with his family. And the doctor in New Zealand has it made too. Shit, If I could live in New Zealand on a farm with a goat to eat wires, It would be cool.

It was a good break, since before that I was having a heavy session with my psychologist. She's tough on me. And she really gave me so good advice and basically didn't go easy on me at all. Which was something I really needed. Tough love. I like working with her. She's really done a lot for me.

I also heard from my brother yesterday and he's doing well with the Style 505 thing. He says so far all the challenges have been self-improvement stuff and he wishes it had to do with meeting girls. But I told him that, I like all the self-improvement stuff. He told me about all the challenges.

He said the first one dealt with approach anxiety. He says he doesn't really deal with AA that much and I believe him. He doesn't have a problem going up to strangers and just talking to them.

I remember one time we were out and someone stop to give him a bible and he got into a discussion with the person and kept just asking really engaging questions. We've always been really social. I think I've become less social though over the years. I definitely seem to go through my day with my defenses (bitch shield) up a lot more. I am trying to break from that and still be social without being bothered by random men bugging me. It's hard though. Cuz I hate being bugged but at the same time I like being social.

I also signed up for my class reunion mailing list and saw Jealous Jason was already on it. I am sorta surprised because he always acting like he would NOT be interested in going to the class reunion.

It was cool to see updated pictures of him. He still looks the same, or at least I can still see the guy I used to love in his face. And he's making feature-length films from where he lives in the Bay Area, so that's cool. He always said he didn't want to move to L.A. to be a film director. And it looks like he's doing it now.

It would be interesting to see him again and caught up. I know he as a kid and I think he's married. I doubt his wife would want him to see me though. She's started dating him right after we broke up (he could never stand to be out of a relationship for very long) and they were pregnant within a few years. And I am sure they got married.

It was weird, she was a lesbian when he met her, or at least dating a girl. Oh well. I always just thought that he would have double the jealousy issues with her.

It was strange. He dumped me because he said I was selfish. And I realized I was being selfish because I had given him so much and wasn't getting the same in return. I wanted to pursue business opportunities for the business we had started together and he didn't want me to advance in the direction I was going.

At the time, I remember thinking that I'd be able to find another guy to fall in love with easily. Boy was I wrong. If I had known at the time that love was so difficult, I may have handled it differently. But because our love seemed so easy and because I was so naive, I had no idea how difficult dating could be.

I'm glad we separated because we were having communication problems and being single for the last 5 years has really given me opportunities to develop myself, independently and probably more thoroughly then I could have done in a relationship with him.

I am getting tired....This blog is going to have to continue when I have more time and when I am not exhausted. And it will also remain unedited until I can get around to finishing it up.

I am a radio of different sorts tonight.

(partially edited)

My younger brother is joining the game

I have mixed feeling about this.

My younger brother called me the other night, which is a rarity.

I'm usually the one to call him for technical support because he is formerly a Best Buy Geek Squad boy and he's almost a decade younger than me, so that means he's grown up with all this technology, literally at his fingertips.

So he called me to tell me he was accepted to be one of Style's 505 apprentices for an upcoming program. I am not currently aware of what Style is doing or what this program is. I'm sure it's legit, I just wish I could have known before he spent the money.

My brother told me he's using the name Glassjaw in the community.

Now, I probably shouldn't be surprised because I'm the one who told my brother about The Game and introduced him to the knowledge, that there is a community of men that helps other men find what they are looking for with women.

However, I haven't fully discussed with my brother the extend of my research or even that I, myself, was (briefly) participating in the StyleLife challenge.

When I went home for the holidays, I let him read through a bit of The Game after I was done reading it. I helped him sign-up for The Mystery Method OAP and encouraged him to look into it.

I did this mainly because he was going through a break-up with his girlfriend at the time and struggling with a girl he liked. The girl he liked was hot and she LJBFed him.

I never liked his girlfriend, from the first day I met her. And always felt he could do better.

The first day I met her, my mother took my brother, his girlfriend, and me out to dinner at our favorite family, Chinese, restaurant. Going to our favorite Chinese restaurant has been a family tradition with my Mom and my little brother for years. It started with my mom and my brother when they moved to Orange county from the Bay Area about 8-9 years ago.

Originally, I did not move with them because I wanted to stay close to my boyfriend at the time, Jealous Jason. But eventually Jealous Jason and I had some problems, so I moved to Orange County with my mother and my little brother. That's when they introduced me to what is now my most favoritest Chinese restaurant in the whole of the world (or at least out of every Chinese restaurant I've ever been to).

The place was amazing, the food was great, and the staff was so friendly and they always remembered us. Even years later my brother and I returned and they still remembered him.

It's also where we started the tradition of getting Flaming Po-Po platters and where I discovered, by accident, how yummy honey walnut shrimp is. Oh the nostalgia.

We didn't stay in Orange County for long and eventually we all moved back to the Bay Area. We eventually found a favorite Chinese restaurant in the town we lived in and continued the tradition.

So, on the first day of meeting my brother's new girlfriend, we're all at our restaurant, which is rooted in family tradition, and his girlfriend decided to tell us that: "I believe the guy should pay for everything."

My brother was still in high school and I found that statement to be a little absurd. Who the fuck says that to her new boyfriend's family the first time she meets them? Well, this girl does. And I took issue with it.

And from that point forward she didn't make herself look any better in my eyes. And being the kind of girl and sister that I am, I let her know it, often. My brother obviously deserved better.

So when he was going through his break with her, I was relieved and wanted to help him move on to better things. At the time, I thought telling him about the community was a good idea.

Now, I am not exactly sure.

Since coming back from the holiday, I've been doing a lot of research and learning a great deal about the community. People outside of the community often ask me why I'm interested in the community or they have some pre-conceived notion about the morality of those involved in the community.

I've spent a great deal of time defending this community and explaining my interests in being involved with such a group of guys. I explain to people that it's not fair to judge the community based off of its reputation alone and I always try to explain it in terms that are more positive to those that aren't familiar with the community. I still am met with great opposition in this regard, and my stance is still in support of a great majority of the community.

I truly believe my brother will do good things with the fundamentals and strategies he learns. He's good-hearted and very social already. I just think he needs some guidance in the art of attraction. Growing up with three females (our mom, our sister, and me) probably has had a bit of an unproductive effect on his attraction skills.

We've tried our best to help him but, God knows, women aren't the best at articulating what women really want. I've learned more about helping men, in this area, in the last several months and hope to be of assistance to him and my friends. But in no way do I consider myself a reliable source at the moment. There's only so much that can be learned from 'free' research.

My brother and I grew very close several years ago. Although there is a large age difference between us, we have a lot in common (music, film, theatre, etc). I've welcomed him into my circle of friends and, again even though there's a difference in age, they've all taken to liking him because he's such a great guy. We'd gone to concerts together often and I remember taking a road trip with him to AZ to see our favorite band, Glassjaw (hence his name in the community).

I also remember clearly the first day we brought our (now deceased) dog, Homer, home from pound . Once in the back yard, Homer, who was probably 85lbs, ran around the yard like a free animal. He ended up barrelling into my brother, who was then very young and very small. Homer knocked my brother to the ground. It's sorta funny now because my brother is no longer little and towers over me by at least a foot. Awww...more nostalgia yet again.

I have faith that my brother will use his new found skills for positive things and I don't worry about him misusing his powers or women in any way. My main concern for him is not what he will do with other women. I am more concerned about other men.

He mentioned to me on the phone about wanting to meet Mystery and Style. And I am fearful he may begin to idolize a magician and a nose raper. I haven't met either of these two men, so I don't want to say a lot about this now. I recognize their contributions to this community and know without them neither I nor my brother would have found it.

But I am concerned for him and the influences he may be exposed to. I didn't discourage my brother from what he wanted but just gave him my personal opinion in regards to the matter. I also tried to frame him as a "good" person with integrity and honor. I know I can't control him (nor do I wish to) and I have no desire to tell him what he can and cannot do. He's an adult and free to do as he will.

I just wish him well and hope he makes good decisions and isn't negatively influenced by the "man drama" in this community.

If you run across him, say 'hi' and welcome him kindly, with open arms. He's a good kid (young man).

With trepidation I write these words.