Spring quarter officially ended last night from me... Yay! And I found my cell phone in my room when I went to do the laundry... double Yay!! And I'd like to introduce a new segment to my blog called Puff Puff Pass It Along... triple Yay!!!
Puff Puff Pass It Along
Introduction
I would like to share my words reflecting my admiration, knowledge, suggestions, and stories regarding my favorite kind of medication, medical cannabis. I don't have much time now to share everything with you now. However over the summer I would like to write more until then I will leave you with what many of my friends have been asking me for, the location of a doctor in Hollywood, who prescribes medical cannabis.
1-877-Got-Kush
open noon to 5 p.m. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.
1017 North La Cienega Suite 110.
West Hollywood California.
My apologies to those that don't live in the area. Doctors are somewhat easy to find, if you're looking for them. Good luck.
That's all I got for now until next time, keep it green.
*this blog was created with the assistance of Dragon Naturally Speaking Software. Thank God for technology.
Showing posts with label Mary Jane. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mary Jane. Show all posts
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Ramblings on the Radio
Radio Explained:
This story or segment is a lousy attempt to explain an inside joke between me and He Who is Him or Him Who is He (HWH). That's the new nickname of the guy I dated haphazardly since I moved to L.A. about 6 months ago. Unfortunately, our relationship is no longer what is was. But that's beside the point, which is that HWH ended up nicknaming me "radio". And for whatever reason, I grew fond of it.
He first called me this when I was very under-the-influence of my favorite medicine (see guilty pleasures, if you don't know what sort of medicine I'm talking about). While under-the-influence I (like most people) become very talkative. But I think I'm a little unique in my talkativeness, because I could virtually talk and talk and talk and it's very much like stream of consciousness.
HWH said on more than one occasion that he could practically "see" my train of thought. I'm assuming he is a visual person because he's a man, and he told me most men are visual. And he also made a comment right after meeting me about how I "must" be visual because I say "see" and I look up and two the right when I talk (but I sorta assumed that was some sort of chick-crack thing he was using on me). Anyways, this too is beside the point.
The point is, I can verbally express what is occurring in my mind (as thoughts, words, and sometimes images) as it is happening. And all I need is an audience. And thankfully for the audience, he doesn't really have to listen to what I'm saying but he can if it is more entertaining than what's being projected on the television or if he can practice guitar while I'm rambling on.
This phenomena is similar to how a radio functions because: a radio is primarily audio but still tries to create images with words (and sounds); radios doesn't require the audience to actually listen or participate with the audio; Radios hardly play the same thing for very long; and radios can be set on scan, so that the actual station changes in intervals automatically.
When I'm stoned, I'm very similar to that in the fact that: I primarily talk but I use my words and my gestures to create images; I don't require him to listen; He doesn't have to listen or participate, either, but it's always funner when he does; I change topics as quickly as they enter and exit my mind; and some times I change "stations" when my train of thought takes a new track (or thread as the puas like to call it).
I realize that this sort of weed-induced talkativeness is not uniquely my own characteristic. I'm under no delusions that this sort of behavior is common amongst those that partake of the green goodness. I have actually witnessed these symptoms first hand in second-hand situations. In fact, I have used the term "radio" to refer to HWH's mom and one of his best friends. I doubt his mom was actually under the influence of anything when she was talkative but I know for a fact his friend was, when his was accused of being a radio.
Anyhoo, now all those that read my blog know roughly the origins of the "radio" references I've made in my blog thus far. I guess the reason I'm mentioning it s much here is because I can't really keep making the inside joke with HWH because we don't really communicate much any more, which is my fault in some ways.
But I'm so busy right now, I've hardly thought about it much. I guess it's best to focus on school and not worry about something that can't be changed.
I LOVE MY SCHOOL
So speaking of school, I love it. Everyday I go to campus, I'm so thankful for being able to attend that university and I been take advantage of as many resources as I'm able to take advantage of because I'm a student.
I don't want to give out too much information about my personal life and I definitely do NOT want to jeopardized my safety but putting identifiable information on this blog. So, I'm not going to be posting too much info about my school but I have to at least mention it because it's such a HUGE part of my life right now.
And I love my school.
I love the campus. It's beautiful. I love seeing younger students visiting our campus. Twice I've seen students that had to be in pre-school or maybe kindergarten. I only say that they must have been that young because the average height of the students was probably shorter than my waist is high. And for those that know me, my waist isn't that high. And those students (which I saw today visiting our campus) look very young. They were carrying their lunch boxes and some of the lunch boxes seems to be roughly the size of some of their upper torsos.
I have no idea why students that young would be visiting our campus. I don't remember visiting a university campus (EVER) before I was enrolled in junior college.
Regardless the reason, I think it's cool to see those little people walking around enjoying our campus. I assume it has a positive impact on some of them, although, when they are that young I'm not sure.
But I do love seeing middle school and high school kids on our campus also. Especially, if those students appear to be "inner-city students".
THE RACE CARD
I know this may sound weird, but I find race relations and class distinctions/seperations in L.A. (and especially on my campus) to be very different from what I'm used to. It's sorta puzzled me since I've moved here (roughly 6 months ago).
I haven't exactly been able to specifically pin point what about it makes me feel this way but there is definitely something unfamiliar to me about the way non-visual racial and class lines are adhered to in L.A.
I'm not exactly sure if others feel this way and I assume that people from different areas of the country and the world probably think that L.A. is very diverse, which I would agree it is. However, just because there are a lot of different types of people represented in the populace of this city, doesn't mean that these types intermingle outside of formal settings.
It's weird to me. I can figuratively see segments of people who are most alike clustered together around campus and around this city. Examples: At school many of the workers (including student workers, maintenance workers, etc) are minorities (most of the time); Same is true for bank tellers, cashiers, valet parkers, car service/limo drivers, bus drivers, etc around town.
There are distinct hidden-class line. I've gone into parts of L.A. where the only minorities were paid employees (and I doubt they are being paid well enough). And I've been to areas of L.A. where I was the only white face amongst many shoppers.
Being the only white person in a group of minorities isn't particularly odd to me. I can think of many occasions where this has been the case in my past. However, the expressions and reactions to me by those minorities in L.A. was very unique to me.
STARING
People have been known to stare at me, which I find particularly odd, so I ignore a great deal of people's glances and stares because I don't want to be overly concerned with people staring at me.
I've had several friends comment the fact that people stare at me and I've noticed it myself. I am not exactly sure what the reasons are for people staring but sometimes it's because I'm the only Caucasian in a particular location or sometimes it's because I dress outlandishly. My reaction to people staring at me in the past has been to just ignore it and avoid eye contact.
Which is probably more counterproductive, so lately I've been trying to make eye contact and smile. However, some guys see smiling as a invitation and most of the time, I'm not really inviting anyone to anything, most of the time I'm just trying to be polite.
But I've notice this subject has quickly derailed, who knows where it will go now.
I've realized that if people are staring and you make eye contact with them, they general stop staring.
Staring seems to be a particular problem in L.A. too. And I figured it's because there are celebrities here and everyone's dying to see some star somewhere. I've noticed when people stare in L.A. they are generally trying to get a look at ones face. And I figure that's because they want to know if the person they are staring at is a star or not.
I've caught myself doing this myself. I look at someone in the face of a passing care because I think they may look familiar or may be someone I recognize. But I really don't know that many celebrities by face so, I don't spend much time doing this. And when they see me looking, I usually look away after I realize that I've been staring at someone who doesn't really appear to be a star anyways.
ROBIN WILLIAMS
It's funny my mind just started to wonder to a memory about a time that I worked in the Bay Area at a computer store and I thought my customer reminded me a lot of Robin Williams. I mentioned it to him and his son (or the younger boy that was with him) started to say something and the man stopped him from saying whatever he was about to say to me.
I don't really think that guy was Robin Williams, mostly, because I'm sure I would totally recognize Robin Williams if he was in front of me, since I'm a huge fan. But I've often wondered if it was his brother or something.
And I also think it's funny because I did actually see Robin Williams walking down the street in San Francisco years later but I almost didn't see him but my friend pointed him out as he rushed by us. That was definitely Robin Williams.
MY ARMS HURT
I was hoping to write more but my arms are starting to hurt...so I'm going to give them a rest for now.
And in the tradition of this radio program, I'm going to leave this blog unedited or proofread until further notice. I can't really make correction right now. [some what edited now]
Good night. And if you're not sleeping next to the one you love, may they find a way into your arms soon. Sweet dreams.
This story or segment is a lousy attempt to explain an inside joke between me and He Who is Him or Him Who is He (HWH). That's the new nickname of the guy I dated haphazardly since I moved to L.A. about 6 months ago. Unfortunately, our relationship is no longer what is was. But that's beside the point, which is that HWH ended up nicknaming me "radio". And for whatever reason, I grew fond of it.
He first called me this when I was very under-the-influence of my favorite medicine (see guilty pleasures, if you don't know what sort of medicine I'm talking about). While under-the-influence I (like most people) become very talkative. But I think I'm a little unique in my talkativeness, because I could virtually talk and talk and talk and it's very much like stream of consciousness.
HWH said on more than one occasion that he could practically "see" my train of thought. I'm assuming he is a visual person because he's a man, and he told me most men are visual. And he also made a comment right after meeting me about how I "must" be visual because I say "see" and I look up and two the right when I talk (but I sorta assumed that was some sort of chick-crack thing he was using on me). Anyways, this too is beside the point.
The point is, I can verbally express what is occurring in my mind (as thoughts, words, and sometimes images) as it is happening. And all I need is an audience. And thankfully for the audience, he doesn't really have to listen to what I'm saying but he can if it is more entertaining than what's being projected on the television or if he can practice guitar while I'm rambling on.
This phenomena is similar to how a radio functions because: a radio is primarily audio but still tries to create images with words (and sounds); radios doesn't require the audience to actually listen or participate with the audio; Radios hardly play the same thing for very long; and radios can be set on scan, so that the actual station changes in intervals automatically.
When I'm stoned, I'm very similar to that in the fact that: I primarily talk but I use my words and my gestures to create images; I don't require him to listen; He doesn't have to listen or participate, either, but it's always funner when he does; I change topics as quickly as they enter and exit my mind; and some times I change "stations" when my train of thought takes a new track (or thread as the puas like to call it).
I realize that this sort of weed-induced talkativeness is not uniquely my own characteristic. I'm under no delusions that this sort of behavior is common amongst those that partake of the green goodness. I have actually witnessed these symptoms first hand in second-hand situations. In fact, I have used the term "radio" to refer to HWH's mom and one of his best friends. I doubt his mom was actually under the influence of anything when she was talkative but I know for a fact his friend was, when his was accused of being a radio.
Anyhoo, now all those that read my blog know roughly the origins of the "radio" references I've made in my blog thus far. I guess the reason I'm mentioning it s much here is because I can't really keep making the inside joke with HWH because we don't really communicate much any more, which is my fault in some ways.
But I'm so busy right now, I've hardly thought about it much. I guess it's best to focus on school and not worry about something that can't be changed.
I LOVE MY SCHOOL
So speaking of school, I love it. Everyday I go to campus, I'm so thankful for being able to attend that university and I been take advantage of as many resources as I'm able to take advantage of because I'm a student.
I don't want to give out too much information about my personal life and I definitely do NOT want to jeopardized my safety but putting identifiable information on this blog. So, I'm not going to be posting too much info about my school but I have to at least mention it because it's such a HUGE part of my life right now.
And I love my school.
I love the campus. It's beautiful. I love seeing younger students visiting our campus. Twice I've seen students that had to be in pre-school or maybe kindergarten. I only say that they must have been that young because the average height of the students was probably shorter than my waist is high. And for those that know me, my waist isn't that high. And those students (which I saw today visiting our campus) look very young. They were carrying their lunch boxes and some of the lunch boxes seems to be roughly the size of some of their upper torsos.
I have no idea why students that young would be visiting our campus. I don't remember visiting a university campus (EVER) before I was enrolled in junior college.
Regardless the reason, I think it's cool to see those little people walking around enjoying our campus. I assume it has a positive impact on some of them, although, when they are that young I'm not sure.
But I do love seeing middle school and high school kids on our campus also. Especially, if those students appear to be "inner-city students".
THE RACE CARD
I know this may sound weird, but I find race relations and class distinctions/seperations in L.A. (and especially on my campus) to be very different from what I'm used to. It's sorta puzzled me since I've moved here (roughly 6 months ago).
I haven't exactly been able to specifically pin point what about it makes me feel this way but there is definitely something unfamiliar to me about the way non-visual racial and class lines are adhered to in L.A.
I'm not exactly sure if others feel this way and I assume that people from different areas of the country and the world probably think that L.A. is very diverse, which I would agree it is. However, just because there are a lot of different types of people represented in the populace of this city, doesn't mean that these types intermingle outside of formal settings.
It's weird to me. I can figuratively see segments of people who are most alike clustered together around campus and around this city. Examples: At school many of the workers (including student workers, maintenance workers, etc) are minorities (most of the time); Same is true for bank tellers, cashiers, valet parkers, car service/limo drivers, bus drivers, etc around town.
There are distinct hidden-class line. I've gone into parts of L.A. where the only minorities were paid employees (and I doubt they are being paid well enough). And I've been to areas of L.A. where I was the only white face amongst many shoppers.
Being the only white person in a group of minorities isn't particularly odd to me. I can think of many occasions where this has been the case in my past. However, the expressions and reactions to me by those minorities in L.A. was very unique to me.
STARING
People have been known to stare at me, which I find particularly odd, so I ignore a great deal of people's glances and stares because I don't want to be overly concerned with people staring at me.
I've had several friends comment the fact that people stare at me and I've noticed it myself. I am not exactly sure what the reasons are for people staring but sometimes it's because I'm the only Caucasian in a particular location or sometimes it's because I dress outlandishly. My reaction to people staring at me in the past has been to just ignore it and avoid eye contact.
Which is probably more counterproductive, so lately I've been trying to make eye contact and smile. However, some guys see smiling as a invitation and most of the time, I'm not really inviting anyone to anything, most of the time I'm just trying to be polite.
But I've notice this subject has quickly derailed, who knows where it will go now.
I've realized that if people are staring and you make eye contact with them, they general stop staring.
Staring seems to be a particular problem in L.A. too. And I figured it's because there are celebrities here and everyone's dying to see some star somewhere. I've noticed when people stare in L.A. they are generally trying to get a look at ones face. And I figure that's because they want to know if the person they are staring at is a star or not.
I've caught myself doing this myself. I look at someone in the face of a passing care because I think they may look familiar or may be someone I recognize. But I really don't know that many celebrities by face so, I don't spend much time doing this. And when they see me looking, I usually look away after I realize that I've been staring at someone who doesn't really appear to be a star anyways.
ROBIN WILLIAMS
It's funny my mind just started to wonder to a memory about a time that I worked in the Bay Area at a computer store and I thought my customer reminded me a lot of Robin Williams. I mentioned it to him and his son (or the younger boy that was with him) started to say something and the man stopped him from saying whatever he was about to say to me.
I don't really think that guy was Robin Williams, mostly, because I'm sure I would totally recognize Robin Williams if he was in front of me, since I'm a huge fan. But I've often wondered if it was his brother or something.
And I also think it's funny because I did actually see Robin Williams walking down the street in San Francisco years later but I almost didn't see him but my friend pointed him out as he rushed by us. That was definitely Robin Williams.
MY ARMS HURT
I was hoping to write more but my arms are starting to hurt...so I'm going to give them a rest for now.
And in the tradition of this radio program, I'm going to leave this blog unedited or proofread until further notice. I can't really make correction right now. [some what edited now]
Good night. And if you're not sleeping next to the one you love, may they find a way into your arms soon. Sweet dreams.
Friday, March 16, 2007
It's been a long day and an even longer week
I don't want to dwell on the negative so I won't. So I'll dwell on the positive. Although, today has been a long day, it's been a productive day. I got a lot of things done.
I got up early to to proof read my Communications studies project one more time before going to school early enough to get it printed before class. I proof read and edited my paper again. Made some adjustments and had a lovely bus ride to school.
The computer lab was open and I started to print my project section by section, title page, project, reference page, appendix content sheet, and the 5 parts to the appendix. By the time I was done printing it, I had probably about 40 pages to turn in. I had to staple it into two sections, my 18 pages that I created and the 20 odd pages to the appendix.
I was happy. I felt like I really accomplished something. It wasn't perfect but it was clean and crisp. I felt like I met the assignment requirements well. I'd been working on this for weeks, when I know some students started their paper last night. It felt exciting. Like I gave it everything I could, time, energy, effort, dedication, persistence, and I was proud.
My teacher said no one ever asked him to the do this subject before. I have been working with him for the last 10 weeks to make sure I was doing it properly and even though I think he'll find areas for improvement. I feel like I met most of his requirements.
Every time I've met him he's given me feedback and helped me sculpt this into a better project. He kept me focused and guided me well through the project. He pushed me and challenged me to do something, I've never done before and it felt great.
I've never done anything like this before. I've known for years that I've been interested in social sciences and scientific research into social and gender dynamics. Especially in regards to dating and sex.
I saw that movie Kinsey with the guy I was dating at the time and I was fascinated by it. I think that would be a cool job to have, sex scientist. And that movie was so well written. I loved the way the story devises were used. The question section adding to the narrative. The interweaving of the two parts. I remember just loving the writing and the editing and the acting. It was great.
But I've always (or at least for many years) been interested into television shows that discussed the science of love, sex, and/or dating. Even if they are reality based and that aren't necessarily written creatively but definitely well and some what witty at times.
I've never really been that great at sciences like biology, or chemistry, or the such. In fact, the sciences that I have taken in college have been either the physical sciences (geology, anthropology, etc) and social sciences (psychology, etc). I really like the social sciences, especially this communication studies class.
I sorta wish I could be a communication studies major, but I can't it's too late. It's an impacted major and I'd don't have enough time to go back and take all of the requirements and graduate in the amount of time they require me to. I wish I did. And I wish they weren't so eager to push me through to graduation.
I really like school and I love being there on campus learning. I sorta wish I could be a student forever. I just love being around the thriving learning environment. It's has a strong vibe to it.
My professor told me some of the research he's working on and it all sounds so interesting. Studying imagination and trying to prove the current theory wrong or proving your own theory. There's all kinds of research available, it's just too bad I am an English major.
I guess there's nothing stopping me from being an English major and assisting in other departmental research or outside classroom learning. But it's time consuming to be a full time student.
I was away from home for 12 hours today. And most of that time was spend doing something that had to do with the classes I am currently taking.
After I turned in my Communication Studies project, I went to edit and print another paper that was do 2 hours after I had turned in my commstu project. But my second paper was an English paper. It's funny, how difficult I find my own major.
I've also been working on this English paper for several weeks. I'm not as proud of that paper, so I am not going to post it. The topic I choose was Faustus. And I struggled to come up with a thesis. I came up with great ideas and interesting observations about the text but I struggled immensely with formulating a proper thesis for the things I was observing.
I saw my T.A. 5 times about the paper in the last two weeks. I probably emailed him more than twice that many times. I also saw my teacher twice and probably emailed him about the same amount of times that I emailed my T.A. I am sure both of them were happy that the papers were do today. It meant they wouldn't be hearing from me about the satirical parallels in Dr. Faustus by Christopher Marlowe.
So I turned in the paper at 1pm and sat through a lecture about Books 11 & 12 in Paradise Lost. Before grabbing my first real bite to eat all day and checking my voicemail to find out that one of my girlfriends was dumped last night. So I spent part of my lunch trying to help her feel better.
Today must have been a female energized day because I got about half a dozen calls from females in my life today.
My girlfriend that lives in L.A. was calling to give the weekly run down of weekend happenings. While updating me on her love life and most recent exploits.
My mom called to confirm my flight information, since I text message her this morning "Oh Shit, I just realized I have a final Friday 2-23 in the morning, I can't fly out until Saturday."
Then I spent an hour in a very haphazard discussion section that was supposed to help us with the preparing for the final. My T.A. is a nice guy (and I hate to use that word) but he's pretty clueless when it comes to actually facilitating the learning process. And I have no doubt that he needs to learn some of this PUA stuff.
And after that I studied in the library for 4 hours for my English final that is on Monday....
And while I was studying I got another call each from my girlfriends and mom. On the way home, I called my friend from the Bay Area who just got dumped last night and spent a good 2 hours on the phone with her, while I was getting home on the bus (which takes about 40 minutes to do).
I really tried to help her. I tried to give her advice and techniques for dealing with this. She said she felt better and she seemed a lot less emotionally upset and she had a good outlook by the time we were done. which makes me feel good.
By the time I was done talking to her I was exhausted. And my L.A. girlfriend called. We both decided to stay in tonight, thankfully. It's a good end to a long day.
This week has been pretty long but I've also gotten a lot of things done. Like yesterday, I got my medical marijuana prescription/card. So now, I am set...I don't have to deal with hassling to find medicine anymore.
It was sorta time consuming to go out to Hollywood to see the doctor and I was in the office for 2 hours but at least it gave me a break from my papers. Plus, it could have been a lot worse. I was on my medication when I showed up and it was really funny to read the disclaimer that they have you sign. The funniest parts were when the form was describing some of the side effects of the medication.
Euphoria....hahahahaha. Talkativeness, loss of conceptual time, short term memory loss, lack of concentration, etc. The list was hilarious. I asked for a copy but they refused.
It was completely different than the first experience I had with a friend in Northern California. She asked me to go with her to renew her prescription and it had to be the strangest thing I've ever experienced.
First it wasn't in a doctor's office, it was in some Jamaican woman's apartment in Berkeley but it was more like Oakland. There were people just laying around freshly baked. She had banana bread that just melted me my chair.
We had to wait a long time, and she kept saying that the Doctor would be up in just a little while. And the whole time I'm expecting a doctor to walk through the door. Then she finally says that the Doctor is in New FUCKIN' Zealand and a goat on his farm just ate through his internet cable and he had to run to the store in town to buy a new cable so that he could teleconference via video internet.
Eventually my girlfriend went into a bedroom turned into an office and spoke to the Doctor, who was in New FUCKIN' Zealand and she got her prescription from the doctor, while I was smoking the fastest Jay I'd ever smoked with the others who were waiting in the living room.
It was the trippiest thing ever.
But it was cool, she got her script and I was happy from the banana bread and free bud they were sharing with me. I'd say sharing is caring and a friend with weed is a friend indeed.
This time I just sat in a plain office, there wasn't any banana bread or jays, just a bunch of folks waiting to see the doctor.
Medical marijuana doctors have it made. That doctor works 4 days a week for 5 hours a day (20 hours total) and brings in mad cash and has time to be with his family. And the doctor in New Zealand has it made too. Shit, If I could live in New Zealand on a farm with a goat to eat wires, It would be cool.
It was a good break, since before that I was having a heavy session with my psychologist. She's tough on me. And she really gave me so good advice and basically didn't go easy on me at all. Which was something I really needed. Tough love. I like working with her. She's really done a lot for me.
I also heard from my brother yesterday and he's doing well with the Style 505 thing. He says so far all the challenges have been self-improvement stuff and he wishes it had to do with meeting girls. But I told him that, I like all the self-improvement stuff. He told me about all the challenges.
He said the first one dealt with approach anxiety. He says he doesn't really deal with AA that much and I believe him. He doesn't have a problem going up to strangers and just talking to them.
I remember one time we were out and someone stop to give him a bible and he got into a discussion with the person and kept just asking really engaging questions. We've always been really social. I think I've become less social though over the years. I definitely seem to go through my day with my defenses (bitch shield) up a lot more. I am trying to break from that and still be social without being bothered by random men bugging me. It's hard though. Cuz I hate being bugged but at the same time I like being social.
I also signed up for my class reunion mailing list and saw Jealous Jason was already on it. I am sorta surprised because he always acting like he would NOT be interested in going to the class reunion.
It was cool to see updated pictures of him. He still looks the same, or at least I can still see the guy I used to love in his face. And he's making feature-length films from where he lives in the Bay Area, so that's cool. He always said he didn't want to move to L.A. to be a film director. And it looks like he's doing it now.
It would be interesting to see him again and caught up. I know he as a kid and I think he's married. I doubt his wife would want him to see me though. She's started dating him right after we broke up (he could never stand to be out of a relationship for very long) and they were pregnant within a few years. And I am sure they got married.
It was weird, she was a lesbian when he met her, or at least dating a girl. Oh well. I always just thought that he would have double the jealousy issues with her.
It was strange. He dumped me because he said I was selfish. And I realized I was being selfish because I had given him so much and wasn't getting the same in return. I wanted to pursue business opportunities for the business we had started together and he didn't want me to advance in the direction I was going.
At the time, I remember thinking that I'd be able to find another guy to fall in love with easily. Boy was I wrong. If I had known at the time that love was so difficult, I may have handled it differently. But because our love seemed so easy and because I was so naive, I had no idea how difficult dating could be.
I'm glad we separated because we were having communication problems and being single for the last 5 years has really given me opportunities to develop myself, independently and probably more thoroughly then I could have done in a relationship with him.
I am getting tired....This blog is going to have to continue when I have more time and when I am not exhausted. And it will also remain unedited until I can get around to finishing it up.
I am a radio of different sorts tonight.
(partially edited)
I got up early to to proof read my Communications studies project one more time before going to school early enough to get it printed before class. I proof read and edited my paper again. Made some adjustments and had a lovely bus ride to school.
The computer lab was open and I started to print my project section by section, title page, project, reference page, appendix content sheet, and the 5 parts to the appendix. By the time I was done printing it, I had probably about 40 pages to turn in. I had to staple it into two sections, my 18 pages that I created and the 20 odd pages to the appendix.
I was happy. I felt like I really accomplished something. It wasn't perfect but it was clean and crisp. I felt like I met the assignment requirements well. I'd been working on this for weeks, when I know some students started their paper last night. It felt exciting. Like I gave it everything I could, time, energy, effort, dedication, persistence, and I was proud.
My teacher said no one ever asked him to the do this subject before. I have been working with him for the last 10 weeks to make sure I was doing it properly and even though I think he'll find areas for improvement. I feel like I met most of his requirements.
Every time I've met him he's given me feedback and helped me sculpt this into a better project. He kept me focused and guided me well through the project. He pushed me and challenged me to do something, I've never done before and it felt great.
I've never done anything like this before. I've known for years that I've been interested in social sciences and scientific research into social and gender dynamics. Especially in regards to dating and sex.
I saw that movie Kinsey with the guy I was dating at the time and I was fascinated by it. I think that would be a cool job to have, sex scientist. And that movie was so well written. I loved the way the story devises were used. The question section adding to the narrative. The interweaving of the two parts. I remember just loving the writing and the editing and the acting. It was great.
But I've always (or at least for many years) been interested into television shows that discussed the science of love, sex, and/or dating. Even if they are reality based and that aren't necessarily written creatively but definitely well and some what witty at times.
I've never really been that great at sciences like biology, or chemistry, or the such. In fact, the sciences that I have taken in college have been either the physical sciences (geology, anthropology, etc) and social sciences (psychology, etc). I really like the social sciences, especially this communication studies class.
I sorta wish I could be a communication studies major, but I can't it's too late. It's an impacted major and I'd don't have enough time to go back and take all of the requirements and graduate in the amount of time they require me to. I wish I did. And I wish they weren't so eager to push me through to graduation.
I really like school and I love being there on campus learning. I sorta wish I could be a student forever. I just love being around the thriving learning environment. It's has a strong vibe to it.
My professor told me some of the research he's working on and it all sounds so interesting. Studying imagination and trying to prove the current theory wrong or proving your own theory. There's all kinds of research available, it's just too bad I am an English major.
I guess there's nothing stopping me from being an English major and assisting in other departmental research or outside classroom learning. But it's time consuming to be a full time student.
I was away from home for 12 hours today. And most of that time was spend doing something that had to do with the classes I am currently taking.
After I turned in my Communication Studies project, I went to edit and print another paper that was do 2 hours after I had turned in my commstu project. But my second paper was an English paper. It's funny, how difficult I find my own major.
I've also been working on this English paper for several weeks. I'm not as proud of that paper, so I am not going to post it. The topic I choose was Faustus. And I struggled to come up with a thesis. I came up with great ideas and interesting observations about the text but I struggled immensely with formulating a proper thesis for the things I was observing.
I saw my T.A. 5 times about the paper in the last two weeks. I probably emailed him more than twice that many times. I also saw my teacher twice and probably emailed him about the same amount of times that I emailed my T.A. I am sure both of them were happy that the papers were do today. It meant they wouldn't be hearing from me about the satirical parallels in Dr. Faustus by Christopher Marlowe.
So I turned in the paper at 1pm and sat through a lecture about Books 11 & 12 in Paradise Lost. Before grabbing my first real bite to eat all day and checking my voicemail to find out that one of my girlfriends was dumped last night. So I spent part of my lunch trying to help her feel better.
Today must have been a female energized day because I got about half a dozen calls from females in my life today.
My girlfriend that lives in L.A. was calling to give the weekly run down of weekend happenings. While updating me on her love life and most recent exploits.
My mom called to confirm my flight information, since I text message her this morning "Oh Shit, I just realized I have a final Friday 2-23 in the morning, I can't fly out until Saturday."
Then I spent an hour in a very haphazard discussion section that was supposed to help us with the preparing for the final. My T.A. is a nice guy (and I hate to use that word) but he's pretty clueless when it comes to actually facilitating the learning process. And I have no doubt that he needs to learn some of this PUA stuff.
And after that I studied in the library for 4 hours for my English final that is on Monday....
And while I was studying I got another call each from my girlfriends and mom. On the way home, I called my friend from the Bay Area who just got dumped last night and spent a good 2 hours on the phone with her, while I was getting home on the bus (which takes about 40 minutes to do).
I really tried to help her. I tried to give her advice and techniques for dealing with this. She said she felt better and she seemed a lot less emotionally upset and she had a good outlook by the time we were done. which makes me feel good.
By the time I was done talking to her I was exhausted. And my L.A. girlfriend called. We both decided to stay in tonight, thankfully. It's a good end to a long day.
This week has been pretty long but I've also gotten a lot of things done. Like yesterday, I got my medical marijuana prescription/card. So now, I am set...I don't have to deal with hassling to find medicine anymore.
It was sorta time consuming to go out to Hollywood to see the doctor and I was in the office for 2 hours but at least it gave me a break from my papers. Plus, it could have been a lot worse. I was on my medication when I showed up and it was really funny to read the disclaimer that they have you sign. The funniest parts were when the form was describing some of the side effects of the medication.
Euphoria....hahahahaha. Talkativeness, loss of conceptual time, short term memory loss, lack of concentration, etc. The list was hilarious. I asked for a copy but they refused.
It was completely different than the first experience I had with a friend in Northern California. She asked me to go with her to renew her prescription and it had to be the strangest thing I've ever experienced.
First it wasn't in a doctor's office, it was in some Jamaican woman's apartment in Berkeley but it was more like Oakland. There were people just laying around freshly baked. She had banana bread that just melted me my chair.
We had to wait a long time, and she kept saying that the Doctor would be up in just a little while. And the whole time I'm expecting a doctor to walk through the door. Then she finally says that the Doctor is in New FUCKIN' Zealand and a goat on his farm just ate through his internet cable and he had to run to the store in town to buy a new cable so that he could teleconference via video internet.
Eventually my girlfriend went into a bedroom turned into an office and spoke to the Doctor, who was in New FUCKIN' Zealand and she got her prescription from the doctor, while I was smoking the fastest Jay I'd ever smoked with the others who were waiting in the living room.
It was the trippiest thing ever.
But it was cool, she got her script and I was happy from the banana bread and free bud they were sharing with me. I'd say sharing is caring and a friend with weed is a friend indeed.
This time I just sat in a plain office, there wasn't any banana bread or jays, just a bunch of folks waiting to see the doctor.
Medical marijuana doctors have it made. That doctor works 4 days a week for 5 hours a day (20 hours total) and brings in mad cash and has time to be with his family. And the doctor in New Zealand has it made too. Shit, If I could live in New Zealand on a farm with a goat to eat wires, It would be cool.
It was a good break, since before that I was having a heavy session with my psychologist. She's tough on me. And she really gave me so good advice and basically didn't go easy on me at all. Which was something I really needed. Tough love. I like working with her. She's really done a lot for me.
I also heard from my brother yesterday and he's doing well with the Style 505 thing. He says so far all the challenges have been self-improvement stuff and he wishes it had to do with meeting girls. But I told him that, I like all the self-improvement stuff. He told me about all the challenges.
He said the first one dealt with approach anxiety. He says he doesn't really deal with AA that much and I believe him. He doesn't have a problem going up to strangers and just talking to them.
I remember one time we were out and someone stop to give him a bible and he got into a discussion with the person and kept just asking really engaging questions. We've always been really social. I think I've become less social though over the years. I definitely seem to go through my day with my defenses (bitch shield) up a lot more. I am trying to break from that and still be social without being bothered by random men bugging me. It's hard though. Cuz I hate being bugged but at the same time I like being social.
I also signed up for my class reunion mailing list and saw Jealous Jason was already on it. I am sorta surprised because he always acting like he would NOT be interested in going to the class reunion.
It was cool to see updated pictures of him. He still looks the same, or at least I can still see the guy I used to love in his face. And he's making feature-length films from where he lives in the Bay Area, so that's cool. He always said he didn't want to move to L.A. to be a film director. And it looks like he's doing it now.
It would be interesting to see him again and caught up. I know he as a kid and I think he's married. I doubt his wife would want him to see me though. She's started dating him right after we broke up (he could never stand to be out of a relationship for very long) and they were pregnant within a few years. And I am sure they got married.
It was weird, she was a lesbian when he met her, or at least dating a girl. Oh well. I always just thought that he would have double the jealousy issues with her.
It was strange. He dumped me because he said I was selfish. And I realized I was being selfish because I had given him so much and wasn't getting the same in return. I wanted to pursue business opportunities for the business we had started together and he didn't want me to advance in the direction I was going.
At the time, I remember thinking that I'd be able to find another guy to fall in love with easily. Boy was I wrong. If I had known at the time that love was so difficult, I may have handled it differently. But because our love seemed so easy and because I was so naive, I had no idea how difficult dating could be.
I'm glad we separated because we were having communication problems and being single for the last 5 years has really given me opportunities to develop myself, independently and probably more thoroughly then I could have done in a relationship with him.
I am getting tired....This blog is going to have to continue when I have more time and when I am not exhausted. And it will also remain unedited until I can get around to finishing it up.
I am a radio of different sorts tonight.
(partially edited)
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Wordsmithery...or I am a radio
For lack of a title this post is going be ambiguously delightful. There's so many things I rolling around in my head. Things I want to express. It's hard to pick just one thing to write about. So, I'll just write and see what comes of it. Let this be a moral story about the effects of blogging under the influence and tripping off the effects of insurmountable stress. The topics here enclosed will all relate to my love for language and my passion to master its craft. Words are symbols waiting to be decoded. And this is proof.
If this doesn't make any sense to you, good. It shouldn't. Because it makes no sense to me either.
My New Favorite Color
Orange is usually my favorite color. It's so bright and cautious. It screams "Hey look at me but be careful as you proceed. Green's cool too. I like green for what it represents. Freedom or wait...is it dependence. I get the two confused. But so does our president. His favorite color is probably oil brown because it represents green to him. Or maybe its blood red because that the color he's spread around the the oil brown to get more green. Enough about the corruption in the white house...let's get back to writing about me or at least my new favorite color, which happens to be purple haze.
I am Afraid to Fall
There is something that I learned today. Or realized rather. I've never learned to skateboard. Because I'm too afraid to fall. It's something like TenMagnet's last few posts about risk taking (vol. 1 and vol. 2) . I'm not not a risk taker when it comes to falling. I avoid most activities that involve falling. Rollerblading, snowboarding, mountain biking, hiking, surfing, horseback riding, gymnastics, motocycle riding, trapezing, bungee jumping (well...I actually tried that once though), crowd surfing, professional wresting, walking down stairs, falling in love and so on and so forth. These are all activities I avoid. Because I'm afraid to fall. I get vertigo.
Today when I ran into my T.A., near the middle of campus, I stopped him because I was heading over to his office hours. He stopped and waited for me to print my paper and then he held office with me in a beautifully busy part of campus. The weather was great and I people watched as he read my paper and I saw a group of guys all trying to land a skateboard jump off a two and a half foot jump.
A weird realization came over me, I would never be out there trying to do that in front of all those people. I mean, I watched them for a while and I only saw one of the guys land one of the attempts. There must have be nearly hundred attempts. Sometimes they'd fall. Sometimes they'd land on there feet. Sometimes they'd land on the board weird. But every single time they regained control and went back to try it again, and again, and again. I hardly saw them phased by their failed attempts. I didn't see them pass judgment on any of the other guys. I didn't see people jeering them if they landed poorly. It was just systematic.
And it made me think that's the way to get good at stuff. Go for it and go for it and go for it. But I wondered if they were getting better. I wondered if they were making the most out of their missed jumps and fumbled falls. Were they analyzing their game? I wondered if they approached anything else in their lives like they did skateboarding. I couldn't do it. It seems like a waste of time to me. I mean Tony Hawk is cool but how many other 40 year old men do you know that still skateboard? Or that can say skateboarding enriched their life. Maybe more than I think. I wonder if they're going to be disappointed that the spent their time skateboarding on beautiful sunny day. Or I wonder if they were the happiest guys out there today.
Doctor Faustus
Blind ambition, pride, and absolute knowledge. I love satire. And irony. I love school too. It strange the things you learn when you're open to it. Or it's strange the way you notice things differently after you've discovered some new. Perception is a strange concept. The nature of contracts and flaws. It's strange the things they make you read at the University. And it's strange I've never read it before. And why are the kids nearly 10 years younger than me who have read this stuff? Questions have questions marks but do rhetorical questions require question marks? Who would pay $80 for a bottle of hay? And is two-thirds knowledge and power worth eternal damnation? And if the morals not about a deal with the devil, then what is the moral? What is Marlowe trying to write to me? Who talks about themselves in the third person? The limitations of language? Or the liberation of language? What's at stake? And so what? And is the title of a play really underlined? I can't see the thesis through the argument, metaphorically speaking. How can they let young fashionable professors teach? There should be a minimum age limits and they should be required to be unattractive and no pierced ears and pink ties. "Curse Faustus, curse Lucifer" albeit a warped reflection. Holding a mirror up to...
Numbers
I love numbers. Numbers are symbols. If I was a PUA, I'd use the "pick a number between one and ten" chick crack thingy all the time. Or at least I know it would definitely work on me. But then again, must of that stuff would work on me. But then again, I'd always pick eight, so it probably wouldn't work on me but who knows, if he's cute enough, it usually works. But that's beside the point or at least besides the number. Which is eight. Or when two eights become a zero. Or when song number nine is "piano". And three fifteen is headautomatica. And eight seventeen is love's first date. And two twenty-eight is his birthday. And twenty one is lucky but you don't believe in luck but it's your day nonetheless. There are numbers you purposely forget and numbers you can't forget if you wanted to forget. Numbers are meaning. The number twelve or the eight or even the super twelve. Mc eight was a rapper but no one remember him. nine-two-five is the place I'm from. Three-ten is the place I am at. Twenty-eight is fading and thirty-two is gone. Seventeen is old for a dog. Maybe too old. Fifty is for purple haze and Two plus is a long time to wait. And three seventeen is the day to wear green. I could go on and on and on...
Pillows
I love pillows. Different size, different cases. Different firmnesses. One for the neck. Stack the up next to me when I sleep. He hugs his at night. And bites them with delight. Two under the knees. One under the butt. Four to sit up with. Contoured. And throw. Match or not. Pillows are a symbol.
The best dream this week
I had an awesome dream this week. I was in "my back yard" or so it seemed to be. In a swimming pool that boarder on a glass that looked into a resort swimming pool and a neighbor's swimming pool. The resort had big pirate boats that they would have in their side of the pool and they'd have shows and I remember it was all so exciting. Warm and happy.
The worst dream this week
I had a terrible dream this week. I was in a shopping mall and someone kidnapped a little girl. They shut down the whole mall and everyone was looking for this girl. Some lady started bitching about being inconvenienced. I don't know what happened after that. I just remember it being a terrible feeling. Dreams are symbols.
I Want to be a Professor
I'd be happy being a professor. I'd get to help a bunch of young people expand their minds. I could do research in some exotic field. Teach classes and write. I think it would be cool to become a professor. You could tell your students really liberal things. Show them things they've never saw. Teach them to teach themselves. Council them and guide them. Be on a beautiful campus. Take class in spare time. Be around other great minds. Have an influence on the world. Learn. Grow. Think. Create....
What I like about the Seduction Community: The Mystery Method
Strange but true. I realize I am a bit biased but I like those guys. I've done a bit of research and haven't found a group I like more yet. Don't be jealous, I can't like all the stuff I come across. But I do like most of what I see from them. I've had the opportunity to meet a few of them. I won't get into the details surrounding that but I will say, those that I've met stand out in my mind. And even the ones I haven't met still seem good enough. They seem to have integrity and be hardworking. Savoy seems to be a great leader of men, he does what he can for his employees. His blog might be lacking as of late but that's not his fault. Maybe now he can get back to blogging, OAPing, and other more important communications. He doesn't seem as bad as some would paint him. He's witty and caring. And it seems like he could be successful at anything he tried. Sinn's a character. It seems like he can argue or bet anything. He seems to believe in what he's doing and I am jealous of him because he has one of the coolest jobs that I can think of. And he puts himself into it. He's young and sharp. And his blog is the most entertaining to follow. I love TenMagnet's blog post though too. They are so packed full of insights even if he doesn't post as often as others. He really seems to have a good grasp on these concepts. And besides he has a cool name. Future's a laugh. His posts are varied but entertaining nonetheless. It's cool that he's a film student and writes screenplays. And I want to make creme brulee. Capitan Jack is a hoot with his same day lays. He seems to have solid advice to give, especially his recent post on sticking points. Feddelio seems cool. I am sure we would never get along though (and that's not a disqualification statement or anything) but his posts are cool too. I like the advice he gave to his daughters. His personality really shone through. It's hard to keep up with all the PUAs in the community or read all the blogs but so far, I've like most of what I've seen from The Mystery Method crew. If you've haven't checked them out give them a try. You might be presently surprised.
My Friend the Exchange Guy
Really reminds me of my little brother. It's sorta strange. I think I befriended him so that I could be reminded of my brother often. They have the same body type. It's kinda cool because it's like I have a little brother in L.A. But the Exchange Guy is an exchange student, so he'll be leaving at the end of next quarter. He hooked me up today. If it weren't for him this post would probably be coherent or nonexistent. But I needed a night off. No school work, no worries, no sadness, no fears. Just me and my words.
A is for Ambiguity
There is no one in this world that knows everything about me. No one. Probably not even me. It's not something I am proud of. It's just the way I've learn to keep things. Imagine if everyone knew everything about you. I have radical dreams and liberal fantasies. High hopes and ideal ideas. I want to love different than is socially acceptable. I want live outside the lines. I want to die happy. And be proud of what I've done. I want to teach people and leave my mark on the world.
Social Capital
I want to write something about social capital but I don't know how to spell it and my arms are starting to hurt from typing so much.
I'd write more but I'm tired and in pain now. Tonight. Take care. If you're not sleeping next to the one you love tonight, may they find their way into your arms soon enough.
***Warning***
This post is unedited and will remain that way until further notice. (semi-edited now)
If this doesn't make any sense to you, good. It shouldn't. Because it makes no sense to me either.
My New Favorite Color
Orange is usually my favorite color. It's so bright and cautious. It screams "Hey look at me but be careful as you proceed. Green's cool too. I like green for what it represents. Freedom or wait...is it dependence. I get the two confused. But so does our president. His favorite color is probably oil brown because it represents green to him. Or maybe its blood red because that the color he's spread around the the oil brown to get more green. Enough about the corruption in the white house...let's get back to writing about me or at least my new favorite color, which happens to be purple haze.
I am Afraid to Fall
There is something that I learned today. Or realized rather. I've never learned to skateboard. Because I'm too afraid to fall. It's something like TenMagnet's last few posts about risk taking (vol. 1 and vol. 2) . I'm not not a risk taker when it comes to falling. I avoid most activities that involve falling. Rollerblading, snowboarding, mountain biking, hiking, surfing, horseback riding, gymnastics, motocycle riding, trapezing, bungee jumping (well...I actually tried that once though), crowd surfing, professional wresting, walking down stairs, falling in love and so on and so forth. These are all activities I avoid. Because I'm afraid to fall. I get vertigo.
Today when I ran into my T.A., near the middle of campus, I stopped him because I was heading over to his office hours. He stopped and waited for me to print my paper and then he held office with me in a beautifully busy part of campus. The weather was great and I people watched as he read my paper and I saw a group of guys all trying to land a skateboard jump off a two and a half foot jump.
A weird realization came over me, I would never be out there trying to do that in front of all those people. I mean, I watched them for a while and I only saw one of the guys land one of the attempts. There must have be nearly hundred attempts. Sometimes they'd fall. Sometimes they'd land on there feet. Sometimes they'd land on the board weird. But every single time they regained control and went back to try it again, and again, and again. I hardly saw them phased by their failed attempts. I didn't see them pass judgment on any of the other guys. I didn't see people jeering them if they landed poorly. It was just systematic.
And it made me think that's the way to get good at stuff. Go for it and go for it and go for it. But I wondered if they were getting better. I wondered if they were making the most out of their missed jumps and fumbled falls. Were they analyzing their game? I wondered if they approached anything else in their lives like they did skateboarding. I couldn't do it. It seems like a waste of time to me. I mean Tony Hawk is cool but how many other 40 year old men do you know that still skateboard? Or that can say skateboarding enriched their life. Maybe more than I think. I wonder if they're going to be disappointed that the spent their time skateboarding on beautiful sunny day. Or I wonder if they were the happiest guys out there today.
Doctor Faustus
Blind ambition, pride, and absolute knowledge. I love satire. And irony. I love school too. It strange the things you learn when you're open to it. Or it's strange the way you notice things differently after you've discovered some new. Perception is a strange concept. The nature of contracts and flaws. It's strange the things they make you read at the University. And it's strange I've never read it before. And why are the kids nearly 10 years younger than me who have read this stuff? Questions have questions marks but do rhetorical questions require question marks? Who would pay $80 for a bottle of hay? And is two-thirds knowledge and power worth eternal damnation? And if the morals not about a deal with the devil, then what is the moral? What is Marlowe trying to write to me? Who talks about themselves in the third person? The limitations of language? Or the liberation of language? What's at stake? And so what? And is the title of a play really underlined? I can't see the thesis through the argument, metaphorically speaking. How can they let young fashionable professors teach? There should be a minimum age limits and they should be required to be unattractive and no pierced ears and pink ties. "Curse Faustus, curse Lucifer" albeit a warped reflection. Holding a mirror up to...
Numbers
I love numbers. Numbers are symbols. If I was a PUA, I'd use the "pick a number between one and ten" chick crack thingy all the time. Or at least I know it would definitely work on me. But then again, must of that stuff would work on me. But then again, I'd always pick eight, so it probably wouldn't work on me but who knows, if he's cute enough, it usually works. But that's beside the point or at least besides the number. Which is eight. Or when two eights become a zero. Or when song number nine is "piano". And three fifteen is headautomatica. And eight seventeen is love's first date. And two twenty-eight is his birthday. And twenty one is lucky but you don't believe in luck but it's your day nonetheless. There are numbers you purposely forget and numbers you can't forget if you wanted to forget. Numbers are meaning. The number twelve or the eight or even the super twelve. Mc eight was a rapper but no one remember him. nine-two-five is the place I'm from. Three-ten is the place I am at. Twenty-eight is fading and thirty-two is gone. Seventeen is old for a dog. Maybe too old. Fifty is for purple haze and Two plus is a long time to wait. And three seventeen is the day to wear green. I could go on and on and on...
Pillows
I love pillows. Different size, different cases. Different firmnesses. One for the neck. Stack the up next to me when I sleep. He hugs his at night. And bites them with delight. Two under the knees. One under the butt. Four to sit up with. Contoured. And throw. Match or not. Pillows are a symbol.
The best dream this week
I had an awesome dream this week. I was in "my back yard" or so it seemed to be. In a swimming pool that boarder on a glass that looked into a resort swimming pool and a neighbor's swimming pool. The resort had big pirate boats that they would have in their side of the pool and they'd have shows and I remember it was all so exciting. Warm and happy.
The worst dream this week
I had a terrible dream this week. I was in a shopping mall and someone kidnapped a little girl. They shut down the whole mall and everyone was looking for this girl. Some lady started bitching about being inconvenienced. I don't know what happened after that. I just remember it being a terrible feeling. Dreams are symbols.
I Want to be a Professor
I'd be happy being a professor. I'd get to help a bunch of young people expand their minds. I could do research in some exotic field. Teach classes and write. I think it would be cool to become a professor. You could tell your students really liberal things. Show them things they've never saw. Teach them to teach themselves. Council them and guide them. Be on a beautiful campus. Take class in spare time. Be around other great minds. Have an influence on the world. Learn. Grow. Think. Create....
What I like about the Seduction Community: The Mystery Method
Strange but true. I realize I am a bit biased but I like those guys. I've done a bit of research and haven't found a group I like more yet. Don't be jealous, I can't like all the stuff I come across. But I do like most of what I see from them. I've had the opportunity to meet a few of them. I won't get into the details surrounding that but I will say, those that I've met stand out in my mind. And even the ones I haven't met still seem good enough. They seem to have integrity and be hardworking. Savoy seems to be a great leader of men, he does what he can for his employees. His blog might be lacking as of late but that's not his fault. Maybe now he can get back to blogging, OAPing, and other more important communications. He doesn't seem as bad as some would paint him. He's witty and caring. And it seems like he could be successful at anything he tried. Sinn's a character. It seems like he can argue or bet anything. He seems to believe in what he's doing and I am jealous of him because he has one of the coolest jobs that I can think of. And he puts himself into it. He's young and sharp. And his blog is the most entertaining to follow. I love TenMagnet's blog post though too. They are so packed full of insights even if he doesn't post as often as others. He really seems to have a good grasp on these concepts. And besides he has a cool name. Future's a laugh. His posts are varied but entertaining nonetheless. It's cool that he's a film student and writes screenplays. And I want to make creme brulee. Capitan Jack is a hoot with his same day lays. He seems to have solid advice to give, especially his recent post on sticking points. Feddelio seems cool. I am sure we would never get along though (and that's not a disqualification statement or anything) but his posts are cool too. I like the advice he gave to his daughters. His personality really shone through. It's hard to keep up with all the PUAs in the community or read all the blogs but so far, I've like most of what I've seen from The Mystery Method crew. If you've haven't checked them out give them a try. You might be presently surprised.
My Friend the Exchange Guy
Really reminds me of my little brother. It's sorta strange. I think I befriended him so that I could be reminded of my brother often. They have the same body type. It's kinda cool because it's like I have a little brother in L.A. But the Exchange Guy is an exchange student, so he'll be leaving at the end of next quarter. He hooked me up today. If it weren't for him this post would probably be coherent or nonexistent. But I needed a night off. No school work, no worries, no sadness, no fears. Just me and my words.
A is for Ambiguity
There is no one in this world that knows everything about me. No one. Probably not even me. It's not something I am proud of. It's just the way I've learn to keep things. Imagine if everyone knew everything about you. I have radical dreams and liberal fantasies. High hopes and ideal ideas. I want to love different than is socially acceptable. I want live outside the lines. I want to die happy. And be proud of what I've done. I want to teach people and leave my mark on the world.
Social Capital
I want to write something about social capital but I don't know how to spell it and my arms are starting to hurt from typing so much.
I'd write more but I'm tired and in pain now. Tonight. Take care. If you're not sleeping next to the one you love tonight, may they find their way into your arms soon enough.
***Warning***
This post is unedited and will remain that way until further notice. (semi-edited now)
Yesterday was a beautiful day, today maybe too
Yesterday, I finally got paid (hallelujah!), I wore a dress because the weather allowed me to, I saw two golden retrievers and petted them, I got help with my English paper, and took some "private time". Yay!
Today is looking pretty good too. I just finished my communication studies project (thank God), I can buy some much needed pot, the weather looks great, I can get more help on my English paper, and I have NO class today.....awww, it feels good.
Today is looking pretty good too. I just finished my communication studies project (thank God), I can buy some much needed pot, the weather looks great, I can get more help on my English paper, and I have NO class today.....awww, it feels good.
Friday, February 9, 2007
Guilty Pleasures: Mary Jane
Whatever name you want to call it, I love herb. PERIOD. I prefer not to smoke it but it's a little difficult to get it in other forms. I love eating it especially. I partake in it several times daily when it doesn't interfere with my education and ambitions.
I just smoked my last bowl yesterday and now I am completely out. Due to uncontrollable circumstances I am unable to purchase any until I get paid again. Unfortunately, I've been having some trouble with receiving my money and I am not sure when the situation is going to get solved, so I am a little bummed that I have go without it for sometime...Oh well, such is life. I am looking forward to greener times.
I'll write more when I have time.
I just smoked my last bowl yesterday and now I am completely out. Due to uncontrollable circumstances I am unable to purchase any until I get paid again. Unfortunately, I've been having some trouble with receiving my money and I am not sure when the situation is going to get solved, so I am a little bummed that I have go without it for sometime...Oh well, such is life. I am looking forward to greener times.
I'll write more when I have time.
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