I'm not exactly sure what these lyrics mean but I have a distinct feeling I've been on the other end of these lyrics more than once, especially recently.
The lyrics are unedited from another website (there are errors):
Crept on you slowly
But faster than you could see
It抯 not like I noticed
I wouldn抰 be the first one you let in
The same person that you know would forget to be honest
I might be the furthest from your mind
Whatever you told me somehow you sold me on
I want to believe it 憈il I see later on
Apparition counterfeit
Can this racket go on another year
Overconfident, maybe
You抮e still here
Misplaced my fear
Whatever you told me, somehow you sold me on
I want to believe it 憈il I see later on
You cross the other way
And hope I didn抰 see you
I start calling out your name
Cause I want to meet you again
Don抰 know why you say you抮e doing fine
That抯 not what it looks like
Something doesn抰 feel right
You抮e undercover抯 on
You抮e acting kind of warm
But soon you抳e got to leave
There抯 something you need
I抦 not invited to go
Those people that you know
Well, they don抰 care about you
Could live easily without you
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Yay! it's going to be hot for at least the next 3 days
That means I can wear summery cute stuff....yay! I don't know why wearing a cute dress/skirt makes me so happy but it does. Today's going to be the hottest. Too bad I am studying for a English midterm that I have to take tomorrow. I'd rather be at the beach or next to the pool.
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
In the Grand Fashion of this blog; more randomness
I Love He Who is Him (or Him Who is He)
I really don't want to say a whole lot about this right now but I will later when I have more time and energy to construct the right combination of words to express what I truly mean by those words.
With that being said, let the radio show begin. Welcome all.
I've got so much to say and not nearly enough time or energy to say it all...or to type out correctly (error free). So, what you get is what you get, for now. I'll clean it all up as soon as I get a moment to breathe. I can only physically move so fast. My mind seems to race off faster than I can keep up with it. And I am easily distractable. It's really not funny either. My mind works weirdly, especially my memories.
I came into class earlier in this quarter and the professor said "I missed you this morning at 9am". I looked puzzled and said "Really?" "You were supposed to meet at 9 this morning to go over your paper." Puzzlement quickly shifted to confusion. "I was?" He barked back "That's what I had written on your paper."
I honestly have no recollection of making a 9 o'clock appointment with my professor. This really tripped me out because it's not the first time someone has told me I have said or did something or they saw me somewhere, when I have no memory of it. And then after they tell me all about it. I think about and I think about and then I think I start to remember and I have idea if I am remembering or just imagining it based off what they told me happened. It's really disorientating sometimes. It's like I don't know which way is up or right.
I had a girl tell me that she had a picture of me and her and another guy together at an event we were at. I told her I didn't remember taking a photo with her all night. She sent me the electronic version of the photos and I swear, it's not me. I even asked my friends. I really that I don't look at myself all day long. I look at other people all day long and other people look at me all day long. But I know I know what I look like in a god damn photograph. I've had professional pictures taken and I've seen myself on film enough times to know what I look like and I did not take a photo with that girl.
So if you think that text message "I just saw your twin" is a jealousy ploy it's not. If you saw a girl that look just like me, I would tell you to go and talk to her and tell me if she's anything like me and if she was, I'd ask you to bring her home. I want to know what a girl like me looks like. I wanna know how she acts. I want know how she thinks. I want pet her and play with her. And tell her stories. But the thing is, she doesn't exist.
But that wasn't what I was getting at. I was talking about memory. Memory is weird. The brain and all it's programming and biological technologies overwhelm me.
There's a reason why humans only use less than 10% of their brain (or what ever the statistic is). It's because the human brain is so powerful that humans can not handle it's full potential. We can barely handle the little we're utilizing.
I had a great day today. One of those days were something internal clicks and you feel like you've been given another piece of the puzzle. One of those days you feel on top of the world as if you can make a difference. One of those days when you're filled with hope so bright it glows strongly from your chest. One of those days when you remember your goals are to leave this place better than you found it. One of those days your heart feels bigger than any ego you've ever encountered and the day is perfect but it's one of those days that a tragedy would have to drag you out of the clouds. You know, one of those days you feel connected to every great person you ever knew, loved, or who lived. I know you know what I am writing about. I feel this way every so often. And I know if I feel it you feel it too. It's not something we talk about often. But we're all capable of it and know I am not the only one that feels this way.
I want to learn to set goals and follow through because I am going to change the world for a collective betterment. And I am going to need so help. Is anyone with me?
There's so much I want to type but I am tired...feeling this passionately can be draining. And I have a cold. I am just lucky I got out bed today. I hope I don't lose my inspiration in the night.
If you're sleeping next to the one you love, may they find their way into your arms soon enough. Goodnight.
Unedited
I really don't want to say a whole lot about this right now but I will later when I have more time and energy to construct the right combination of words to express what I truly mean by those words.
With that being said, let the radio show begin. Welcome all.
I've got so much to say and not nearly enough time or energy to say it all...or to type out correctly (error free). So, what you get is what you get, for now. I'll clean it all up as soon as I get a moment to breathe. I can only physically move so fast. My mind seems to race off faster than I can keep up with it. And I am easily distractable. It's really not funny either. My mind works weirdly, especially my memories.
I came into class earlier in this quarter and the professor said "I missed you this morning at 9am". I looked puzzled and said "Really?" "You were supposed to meet at 9 this morning to go over your paper." Puzzlement quickly shifted to confusion. "I was?" He barked back "That's what I had written on your paper."
I honestly have no recollection of making a 9 o'clock appointment with my professor. This really tripped me out because it's not the first time someone has told me I have said or did something or they saw me somewhere, when I have no memory of it. And then after they tell me all about it. I think about and I think about and then I think I start to remember and I have idea if I am remembering or just imagining it based off what they told me happened. It's really disorientating sometimes. It's like I don't know which way is up or right.
I had a girl tell me that she had a picture of me and her and another guy together at an event we were at. I told her I didn't remember taking a photo with her all night. She sent me the electronic version of the photos and I swear, it's not me. I even asked my friends. I really that I don't look at myself all day long. I look at other people all day long and other people look at me all day long. But I know I know what I look like in a god damn photograph. I've had professional pictures taken and I've seen myself on film enough times to know what I look like and I did not take a photo with that girl.
So if you think that text message "I just saw your twin" is a jealousy ploy it's not. If you saw a girl that look just like me, I would tell you to go and talk to her and tell me if she's anything like me and if she was, I'd ask you to bring her home. I want to know what a girl like me looks like. I wanna know how she acts. I want know how she thinks. I want pet her and play with her. And tell her stories. But the thing is, she doesn't exist.
But that wasn't what I was getting at. I was talking about memory. Memory is weird. The brain and all it's programming and biological technologies overwhelm me.
There's a reason why humans only use less than 10% of their brain (or what ever the statistic is). It's because the human brain is so powerful that humans can not handle it's full potential. We can barely handle the little we're utilizing.
I had a great day today. One of those days were something internal clicks and you feel like you've been given another piece of the puzzle. One of those days you feel on top of the world as if you can make a difference. One of those days when you're filled with hope so bright it glows strongly from your chest. One of those days when you remember your goals are to leave this place better than you found it. One of those days your heart feels bigger than any ego you've ever encountered and the day is perfect but it's one of those days that a tragedy would have to drag you out of the clouds. You know, one of those days you feel connected to every great person you ever knew, loved, or who lived. I know you know what I am writing about. I feel this way every so often. And I know if I feel it you feel it too. It's not something we talk about often. But we're all capable of it and know I am not the only one that feels this way.
I want to learn to set goals and follow through because I am going to change the world for a collective betterment. And I am going to need so help. Is anyone with me?
There's so much I want to type but I am tired...feeling this passionately can be draining. And I have a cold. I am just lucky I got out bed today. I hope I don't lose my inspiration in the night.
If you're sleeping next to the one you love, may they find their way into your arms soon enough. Goodnight.
Unedited
Optimists tend to respond to disappointments by formulating a plan and asking others for help
HELP! I need a plan....hahahhhahaha. I'd love to write more but I have a paper to finish.
Some advice I gave my girlfriends today
Below is some advice I shared with some of my girlfriends today. Maybe it will help someone out in cyberspace, so I am sharing it here:
I love you. You're such a beautiful and talented person, independent and daring. I think you've made a lot of progress recently. I am proud of you. And I miss. I think you should really give yourself credit for what you have been able to accomplish.
Here are some tips from what I've been learning about "self-talk":
~When you feel a shift in your mood (for example, if you start feeling sad, angry, anxious) take a step back from what ever you are doing and relax. Then take the time to really examine what you've been telling yourself. What is important is to take note of your negative internal monologue.
~Identifying self-talk may require unraveling several distinct thoughts from a single word or image. You may think to yourself "Oh no!" and then have a rush of memories, thoughts, or associations.
~It's hard to evaluate the validity of a belief you're scarcely aware of-- you usually just accept it as is. But Self-talk is typically irrational but almost alway sounds like the truth. "What-if" thinking may lead you to expect the worst possible outcome in a given situation, one that is highly unlikely to occur. Yet because the association takes place so quickly, it goes unchallenged and unquestioned.
~Negative self-talk perpetuates avoidance. By continuing to avoid situations and people, you reinforce the thought that it's dangerous. You may even project images of catastrophe around the prospect of confronting the situation. In short, anxious self-talk leads to avoidance, avoidance begets further anxious self-talk, and around and around the cycle goes.
~ Negative self-talk is a series of bad habits. You aren't born with a predisposition to fearful self talk: you learn to think that way. Just as you can replace unhealthy behavioral habits, such as smoking or drinking excess coffee, with more positive, health-promoting behavior, you can replace unhealthy thinking with more positive, supportive mental habits; Bear in mind that the acquisition of positive mental habits takes the same persistence and practice required for learning new behaviors.
~Countering negative self-talk involves writing down and rehearsing positive statements which directly refute or invalidate your negative self-talk.
~ By starting to notice when you're engaging in negativity, and then countering it with positive, supportive statements to yourself, you'll begin to turn your thinking around. With practice and consistent effort, you'll change both the way you think and feel on an ongoing basis.
~ Challenge your negative self-talk with these questions:
1) what is the evidence for this?
2) is this always true?
3) Has this been true in the past?
4) What are the odds of this catastrophe happening?
5) What is the very worst that could happen? What is so bad about that? What would I do if the worst happened?
6) Am I looking at the whole picture?
7) Am I being fully objective?
Positive statements you can say to yourself:
"So what",
"I can handle this",
"I can be bothered by this situation and still get through it",
"This may be difficult, but I can tolerate a little anxiety, knowing that it will pass.",
"I'm O.K. the way I am.",
"I'm lovable and capable",
"I'm a unique and creative person",
"I deserve the good things in life as much as anyone else",
"I accept and believe in myself",
"I'm worthy of the respect and love of others.",
"I don't have to be all better tomorrow"
"I can continue to make progress one step at a time"
"I acknowledge the progress I've made and will continue to improve"
"It's never too late to change"
"I'm willing to see the glass as half full rather than half empty"
I love you. You're such a beautiful and talented person, independent and daring. I think you've made a lot of progress recently. I am proud of you. And I miss. I think you should really give yourself credit for what you have been able to accomplish.
Here are some tips from what I've been learning about "self-talk":
~When you feel a shift in your mood (for example, if you start feeling sad, angry, anxious) take a step back from what ever you are doing and relax. Then take the time to really examine what you've been telling yourself. What is important is to take note of your negative internal monologue.
~Identifying self-talk may require unraveling several distinct thoughts from a single word or image. You may think to yourself "Oh no!" and then have a rush of memories, thoughts, or associations.
~It's hard to evaluate the validity of a belief you're scarcely aware of-- you usually just accept it as is. But Self-talk is typically irrational but almost alway sounds like the truth. "What-if" thinking may lead you to expect the worst possible outcome in a given situation, one that is highly unlikely to occur. Yet because the association takes place so quickly, it goes unchallenged and unquestioned.
~Negative self-talk perpetuates avoidance. By continuing to avoid situations and people, you reinforce the thought that it's dangerous. You may even project images of catastrophe around the prospect of confronting the situation. In short, anxious self-talk leads to avoidance, avoidance begets further anxious self-talk, and around and around the cycle goes.
~ Negative self-talk is a series of bad habits. You aren't born with a predisposition to fearful self talk: you learn to think that way. Just as you can replace unhealthy behavioral habits, such as smoking or drinking excess coffee, with more positive, health-promoting behavior, you can replace unhealthy thinking with more positive, supportive mental habits; Bear in mind that the acquisition of positive mental habits takes the same persistence and practice required for learning new behaviors.
~Countering negative self-talk involves writing down and rehearsing positive statements which directly refute or invalidate your negative self-talk.
~ By starting to notice when you're engaging in negativity, and then countering it with positive, supportive statements to yourself, you'll begin to turn your thinking around. With practice and consistent effort, you'll change both the way you think and feel on an ongoing basis.
~ Challenge your negative self-talk with these questions:
1) what is the evidence for this?
2) is this always true?
3) Has this been true in the past?
4) What are the odds of this catastrophe happening?
5) What is the very worst that could happen? What is so bad about that? What would I do if the worst happened?
6) Am I looking at the whole picture?
7) Am I being fully objective?
Positive statements you can say to yourself:
"So what",
"I can handle this",
"I can be bothered by this situation and still get through it",
"This may be difficult, but I can tolerate a little anxiety, knowing that it will pass.",
"I'm O.K. the way I am.",
"I'm lovable and capable",
"I'm a unique and creative person",
"I deserve the good things in life as much as anyone else",
"I accept and believe in myself",
"I'm worthy of the respect and love of others.",
"I don't have to be all better tomorrow"
"I can continue to make progress one step at a time"
"I acknowledge the progress I've made and will continue to improve"
"It's never too late to change"
"I'm willing to see the glass as half full rather than half empty"
So much to post so little time to post it all
I've been neglecting more than just my blog lately. I've got to figure out the whole time management thing because I feel like running in circles. Maybe it's just this cold. I should give myself credit, I've gotten a lot of things done in the last several weeks. I'll update when I have a bit more time. Right now, I should be preparing for something school related. I hope everyone is have a great week.
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