The Modern Maven's Haven

I Judge You When...You Lower your Own Social Value (Another Guy)

2009-03-09T09:37:00.000-07:00

Hey,

I know it's been a while since I've posted and most of my last posts were about medical cannabis. I've shifted my attention from Seduction Community stuff to medical marijuana community stuff. But this was too good not to blog about.

At this point I don't know if anyone will ever see it but I have to get it off my proverbial chest. I did a similar blog about this topic here. And sorta touched on the same thing here

Below is a facebook email I received from a guy I've maybe spent 2 minutes talking to face-to-face. We go to the same school and I've seen him around:

Subject: Hi

How are you today [Omitted my real name]? I always find you very attractive and beautiful. You are a very brilliant, smart, and intelligent woman. I am honored to have the opportunity to know you and it would a great prestige for me to get to know you even better. In other words, at the personal level. Life is short and I believe that we should enjoy it to the fullest. My beginning of having that life is by having a cup of coffee with you in Starbucks and just have a casual and friendly talk for 20 minutes of your time. If you are interested, call me at [Omitted his first phone #] or [Omitted his second phone #]. You may email me your time availability at [omitted his email address] and then I promise you I will get back to you [omitted my real name].

I will be happy which whatever decision that you make because I honor your sincerity and authenticity.

With love,

[omitted his name]

Let me break it down how wrong this email is, step-by-step.

Subject: Hi

How are you today [Omitted my real name]?

There's nothing inherently wrong with this.

I always find you very attractive and beautiful.

Mistake #1: Lowered his own value. I know this simple sentence may seem harmless enough to a guy who has no clue what he's doing with women but let me explain how this is a super big no-no.

Let's just pretend for a moment that I felt his value and my value were the exact same before I received this email. Let's say I feel we're both 7's. With this one sentence he loses 2 value points and I gain 2 because he said "attractive and beautiful" I get a point for each of those words and he loses a point for each.

Leaving me at a value of 9 and him at a value of 5. A 9 would never date a 5.

Now, I know there are some dumb fools out their protesting, "But 'attractive and beautiful' are compliments. You should be flattered". I'm attractive and beautiful and I get told so on a regular basis. There is nothing flattering about being told so by a complete stranger.

To be told so by someone I've had maybe 5 words with means one thing. He wants to have sex with me. It also implies that he probably doesn't have anyone who is "attractive and beautiful" to currently have sex with him. So why on earth, if other attractive and beautiful women don't spend their time with this guy, would I?

Reminder: one of the attraction switches is "desired by other women". If a guy can't demonstrate he has other women attracted to him, it's one less thing for me to find attractive about him.

In other words, he has unintentionally demonstrated that he has no attractive and beautiful women in his life which lowers his value below a 5 and I still consider myself a 9 in this situation.

I should note that this would be considered a compliment if we had known each other, I found him attractive, I felt comfortable with him and we had some level of seduction going on. It's not the words themselves but the timing and the delivery which ruined it for this guy.

And that's only the second sentence of the email he sent.

You are a very brilliant, smart, and intelligent woman.

There's no doubt that I am all these things. But if I have never spoken to this guy for more than 2 minutes, how the hell would he know? I don't feel he has had enough time with me to qualify this compliment which to me means, he could easily say it to any woman, making it insincere.

Besides, he said the same thing 3 different ways. "brilliant, smart, and intelligent" all mean the same exact thing. So, that means he's laying it on thick and if he's laying it on thick, something's not right.

It also subcommunicates to me that he doesn't have brilliant, smart, and intelligent women in his life. And again, makes me question why I would want to waste my time with him. He loses 3 value points for (1 for each compliment) and I gain 3. Making his value is at 2 and he's put my value so high, at this point, it doesn't even register on a scale (which I know is absurd...I could easily see myself at a 7 or 9 in different situations but never over a 10).

Again, this would be a compliment coming from a guy at the right time and place.

I am honored to have the opportunity to know you and it would a great prestige for me to get to know you even better.

Syntaxually, This may sound a little odd because I'm pretty sure he is a foreigner.

Other than his foreign sentence structure, this sentence is just over the top. "honored to have the opportunity to know you" Now, mind you, in my mind he is a perfect stranger for him to feel "honored" and "prestiged" to get to know me places me on a super high pedestal at the same time it digs him into a "DLV" ditch. Putting our values astronomically apart. From my calculations he has me somewhere around a 15 and he's put himself at a 0.

At this point, he doesn't have a snow-ball's-chance-in-hell with me. He's made himself so unattractive to me and I feel so uncomfortable about the whole thing. And that's not even half way through the email for Christ's sake.

In other words, at the personal level.

In other words, he wants to fuck me which is out of the question since his value is so much lower than mine now.

Life is short and I believe that we should enjoy it to the fullest.

In other words, he's been unable to get any other girl to fuck him currently and he's fully desperate to be laid by any girl who he finds attractive.

My beginning of having that life is by having a cup of coffee with you in Starbucks and just have a casual and friendly talk for 20 minutes of your time.

Nothing about this email makes me think spending 20 minutes with this guy will be "casual and friendly". In fact, I dread the thought of wasting 20 minutes with this guy because I'll have to sit through 20 minutes of what will doubtlessly be a very socially uncomfortable time with a very unattractive man who does NOT have a clue about how to be successful with women. And he already has indicated that those 20 minutes are going to be the beginning of his life, as if it depends on me having coffee with him. And I don't even drink coffee.

If you are interested, call me at [Omitted his first phone #] or [Omitted his second phone #].

In other words, he's going to eagerly await my call because he has nothing better to do which makes him even more unattractive and makes me feel even more uncomfortable.

You may email me your time availability at [omitted his email address] and then I promise you I will get back to you [omitted my real name].

At this point the email is just painful. I won't continue to deconstruct his words because I think you get the point.

He has caused more alarming questions than anything: Where's the challenge? I don't feel like I've earned this sort of expression. How does he add value to my life? I'd be embarrassed to be seen with a guy who doesn't know how to act socially with women. What if he makes my girlfriends as uncomfortable as he made me?

A girl may not consciously be thinking these things but she will be feeling it on some subconscious level and that's why he's in this position now because he hasn't learned how to interact with women in ways they respond to.

He chose to "frame" it with me on the pedestal and him in the "DLV" ditch but he could have also chosen to "frame" it with himself slightly above me and he could have gamed it all the way. You can lead a horse to water but...you can't make him seduce women successfully; he has to do that himself.

And even if the girl is conscious of exactly everything I've written, she's not going to tell him.

She's going to do 1 of 2 things. 1) ignore the email and the man as much as possible and dread running into him in person. 2) be rude and bitchy towards him so that he gets a clue he doesn't have a chance with her.

I tend to do #1 unless pursued then I won't hesitate to do #2. I've ignored his email so far and really dread running into him in real life. I don't want to hurt his feelings but at the same time, and even more so,I don't want to feel uncomfortable or be pursued by unattractive men.

I'm tempted to send him a link to Love Systems or to write back and tell him how wrong his email is but that hasn't been very productive in the past. Some guys just refuse to learn what it takes to be successful with women.

I Like It DEEEEEP: So Why Does It Seem I Can Only Get It Online

2008-07-15T22:25:00.000-07:00

Random female bitching about beauty products:

Why do haircare companies provide a product that I love and then let it disappear from drugstore shelves? Is it so much to ask that Aussie keep their 3 Minute Miracle DEEEEEP conditioner at my CVS, RiteAid, or Longs?

Church Girls Do It Better: And So It Is, Amen

2008-07-15T13:43:00.000-07:00

I've recently started going to church. Actually, it's more of a spiritual center dedicated to positive thinking and healing. It's a non-denominational congregation. It gives me a chance to spend all-day Sunday on myself and my spiritual growth. I like this environment because it seems non-judgmental and that feels good because I've had a life that can be judged harshly by religious folks.

I'd like to say a prayer for He Whom is Him (HWH) tonight

2008-07-12T23:51:00.000-07:00

God knows he needs it. May everything work out for him and may he be nothing but blessed.

Ode to Guys who Know What They are Doing

2008-07-08T20:22:00.000-07:00

This rant was written in response to a rant written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal which I first found at Savoy's blog

This is a tribute to the guys who know what they are doing. The guys that finish first; that never get stuck as 'just friend'; that know better than to endure any whining and bitching from girls about other guys; while getting what they really want. This is dedicated to those guys who have more than a shoulder to offer and who never restrain themselves to tentative hugs; "those guys who hold open doors" and give reassuring pats on the back just as well as they give females organisms and who have better things to do than sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores.

This is in honor of the guys that make women feel cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy without explicitly saying it, because they know how to interact with the opposite sex. "This is in honor of guys with open minds"; with social skills; with an honest assessment of their dating abilities and value. "This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style."

But more importantly, This is for the girls who don't get so drunk and bewildered at parties and to the guys who make women want take advantage of the guys at her door; for the guys who never make girls think of wanting buffers at bar and guys who make girls forget about the rest of the creepy male population; for the guys who know how to make a girl give compliments to men but also give compliments out occasionally anyway, for the guys who knows how to play the game well and understands its unwritten rules; for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material and end up being boyfriends, for all the great guys who can never be overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated; for all the fascinating guys who never manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned; this is for all of you.

This is for that time you did not tolerate her 40 urgent messages on your cell phone; and when you called her back after you said you would; and the time you didn't allow her to spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. This is to the guys and girls who know a woman complaining about her boyfriend for 3 hours is intolerable and won't sit around partaking in such base behavior. And this is for any guy or girl who understand any guy who would waste his time encouraging that behavior should be considered a chump and a jerk off. This is for guys who have more exciting things in their life than the best killing spree they have ever orchestrated in GTA4; who doesn't start rumors and the guys who never make her consider him as one of the most repulsive people in the world. And to the guys who act mature and who don't really have anything against anyone else; and guys who aren't permanently attached to their game consoles and who do not help her concoct counter-rumors to spread around. This is also for that time you went out and met a woman when you didn't have a date; to guys who don't need to vow that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you; This is for the guys who get to know everyone at the party, even if the beer is awful; and who knows how to flirt shamelessly with women; and to those guys who never make a girl want to utter those dreaded words “oh, but we’re just friends!” And who knows how to be more than a symbolic warm body for her ego. Because you know what you're doing when it comes to women and you're not so clueless to think anything less can be consider attractive or desirable to women. To guys who know 'nice' is code for lame, boring, and socially awkward and you refused to be consider as such. Thank you.

This is for the amazing guys who always get credit where credit is due. And, perhaps more reassuring, the remarkable guys who seem to get laid as often as they should. Because they have taken the time to figure how to interact with women in ways women enjoy. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many guys are super clueless and misinformed about the opposite sex and there are too many girls who enable and encourage those men. Many of them claim they are just nice guy, but in reality they are the highest form of the primate specimen, they are well trained in putting up with bad behavior; confusing such things as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship” as a reflection of the women and do not acknowledge these terms only reflect their lack of dating skills. Yet, these guys continue to lament the lack of datable women in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date personality to attract and seduce women for them. That's the definition of true jerks. Sorry, guys, you are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why you would continue to blame your dating woes on women when you lack the qualities women want to sleep with. You don't have to be an complete ass to sleep with women, you just have to offer women something they want. But one thing I can say is that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon exists for a reason. There are definitely many guys who grow out of those limited of thoughts and realize they could be dating great girls, not but themselves a social disadvantages. The tricky part is learning how to interact with those girls, and even trickier, finding other guys who have made great strides in this area.

So, until get your proverbially head out of your metaphorical ass, I propose a toast to all the guys who know what they are doing. You know who you are, and I know you’re always described as attractive and desirable. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs men like you to please women like me, your holding open of doors, your social skills, your propensity to be a man with beautiful women in your life. For all the attraction, comfort, and seduction you create, build, and accomplish; for all the situations where your the face and name cant be ignored; "my accolades, my acknowledgment, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming."

Approach Anxiety: What do I really want?

2008-07-08T18:03:00.000-07:00

Has this ever happened to you?

You see a beautiful woman. Your heart races, your mind flutters, your breathing quickens and you have no control over what your body is doing? The pick-up artist say it's evolutionary and they call it approach anxiety. And I'd have to agree but how do you over ride millions of years of evolutionary impulses?

You ask yourself a few questions:

~ What do I really want for myself?
~ What do I really want for her?
~ What do I really want for the relationship?

And (arguably the most important question)

~ How would I behave if I really wanted these results?

Now, you're probably wondering how a few simple questions with simple answers can stop the physical onset of approach anxiety. Here's an excerpt from Crucial Conversations:

When we ask ourselves what we really want, we affect our entire physiology. As we introduce complex and abstract questions to our mind, the problem-solving part of our brain recognizes that we are now dealing with intricate social issues and not physical threats. When we present our brain with a demanding question, our body sends precious blood to parts of our brain that help us think, and away from the parts of our body that help us take flight or begin a fight...It juices up our brain in a way that helps us keep focused.

Makes sense right? The next time your blood boils, your breath breaks, and your mind muddies itself, ask yourself what you really want. The answers can be canned. You can make them up right now and start to think of them when you approach women. Just stop the blood from going to your legs and arms and redirect it back to your brain where you can actually recall routines and function as social being.

Example answers to "What do I really want for myself?"
"I want to meet interesting women", "I want to get laid tonight", "I want to find someone special to build something special with", "I want a life of debauchery".

Example answers to "What do I really want for her?"
"I want her to find me attractive", "I want her to live her fantasies (with me)", "I want her to know I am the prize", "I want her to get it just the way she likes it".

Example answers to "What do I really want for the relationship?"
"I want this to become a fuck buddy situation", "I want to have a long-term loving relationship", "I want to have one wild night with her", "I want a blow job in the bathroom"

Example answer to "How would I behave if I really wanted these results?"
LIKE A MAN, damnit. Now buckup and get in there. Attract her, build comfort with her and seduce the hell out of her.

Social Literacy: Women read their social environment and you

2008-07-05T10:19:00.000-07:00

Women learn to read socially from very early ages. They have had to read their environments and the people around them for safety reasons from the beginning of time. I'm assuming women who have learned to read social situations and may have survived longer and they have most likely passed that on to their daughters.

From an evolutionary stand-point it makes sense. I could be totally wrong but this blog belongs to me and I'm going with it. Most women who couldn't read social situations probably wound up injured or dead. If she wondered into the wrong cave with the wrong cave man, she may not come out of that cave. Her subconscious mind has developed to the evolutionary point of picking up on the slightest of queues to protect herself from creeps, losers, and dangerous men. Modern women have countless generations of hardwiring that help them navigate their social worlds. Some are better than others but most women possess this skill.

It's your job, as a man, to understand this. Well, actually you don't have to understand this and you can still have success but by understanding this you have an advantage because you can present yourself in a way that when she reads YOU she tells herself attractive, comfortable, and seductive stories. The story starts the moment you enter her peripheral vision. Notice that I did not say, the moment she looks at you. She doesn't even have to look directly at you to tell herself a story about you.

Example, I went to the movies with my roommate recently. We were a bit early so we went to the book store near by. We were going down the escalator while in the middle of some in depth conversation about god knows what. Before we got to the bottom of the escalator I knew exactly how many men where on that floor in our pathway to exit the store; 5. My subconscious mind made a mental note of roughly their age, who they were with, and how they were dressed. In other words, I told my self a story about each one of these men and only one of them presented any value to me.

Why? Because his clothes fit, he was tall, he was in good shape, and he was with a female. The others were overweight, ill dressed and presented no social proof. Regarding social proof, that isn't to say they weren't with other females but the females they may have been with didn't offer me any information that lead me to telling any story about him that was any more interesting then the one I had already told myself about him.

These stories took place in the speed of light, literally. The nano seconds it took for my secondary vision to perceive their images, I made several low-value conclusions about them. And that's not to say I am not open to having those stories retold with more data to read. In a flash, my subconscious mind entered those men into one or several knowledge structures I have in the back of my mind. Knowledge structures are categories we build in our subconscious minds to hold and analyze data. Most women have hight-value knowledge structures for men and low-value ones as well. Every man she has ever met goes into these knowledge structures; if you dress like the last 100 creepy guys who approached her, she's going to think you're a creep, and vice versa.

And all of this was done without directly looking at any of these men and while holding a conversation with my girlfriend. This is how we operate. Men do this too but just in different ways. You enter a nightlife environment and you know within seconds who's hot and who's not. Who you would like to take home and who you wish would go home. Women just do it in a way many men are clueless about.

We read between the lines, we see symbolism, and we fill in the blanks. If you want to be successful with women give them information that will allow them to tell themselves (and eventually their girlfriends) attractive, comfortable, and seductive stories about you. And that starts with how your dressed, how you present yourself socially, and who you are with. Plain and simple. But not that plain and not that simple, if you don't know what kind of stories women are currently telling themselves about you.

Present yourself in the way the presents the most value. If you're a professional with a cool job, play that up. Don't dress lower than your highest value. Don't give out data that conveys anything but the highest value you have. Don't dress like a trendy hollywood fake rocker when you can present yourself as a Hollywood legitimate professional with a keen sense of style. Be true to your identity without devaluing it.

If you're a lazy bum with nothing interesting about you, that doesn't mean you have to convey that with your clothes, attitude, and behaviors. Find something of value within yourself and polish the hell out of it and let it work for you. The deck is already stacked against you; you don't have to tip it over with cluelessness. Be a man and show her what you got, then let her work for it. Don't trip yourself up.

My Literary Life: Typos And All

2008-07-03T01:58:00.000-07:00

I never intended to be an English major. I don't regret that I am but it was never my intention to study literature. My public school eduction never prepared me for my Ivy league undergraduate education. I've never read or wrote some much in my entire life. Never. The irony of the situation lays within the limitation that stands in my way. I'd like to claim that limitation is my chronic pain caused by a repetative stress injury I sustained nearly 3 years ago at a work I took to help me get through junior college. The chronic pain is not the limitation; it's the effect of the limitation. The limitation is myself. I've come to believe my own belief systems and thinking patterns have manifested themselves into a physical hindrance.

I let this pain keep me from doing countless things even those I love and enjoy, reading and writing and loving and living. Not to mention sleeping. Good night, all.

I ran into the guy I call Scarface in the library yesterday

2008-06-02T07:12:00.000-07:00

He's an animal. And I mean that in the best possible way. I'm absolutely fascinated by the human race, especially the male of the species and their psychology. I wrote about Scarface here and here.

It's funny, very few people in my everyday life actually know my interest in the dating-science/seduction community. After asking me how I was doing, he asked how's the pick-up artists? And then asked me my advice on Same Night Lays (SNL). I told him if he's getting Last Minute Resistance (LMR) that he's probably missed something in comfort. Then he asked me to teach him about comfort. UH...there's guys who get paid lost of money to teach men about this stuff...I've got to study, write papers, and survive the next two weeks of the quarter. Teach yourself comfort. I referred him to LoveSystems. He's says the doesn't want to read about this stuff. His loss. With his natural talents, he's wasting his time not getting the info he needs.

Ha...You gotta love it.

I'll have to write more later because I don't have time now. I hope to give my blog more time this summer.

I Judge You When....YOU Devalue Your Own Social Status

2008-02-25T20:41:00.000-08:00

As humans we make unconscious flash decisions continuously and constantly throughout our daily lives. If we didn't we may not live long. If a speeding vehicle charges towards you while you walk in a cross walk, you do NOT have enough time to analyze every single choice available to you and you have to make a decision before you become road kill.

In modern society we do not have to face life threatening issues on a daily basis. At least not in contemporary America, if we're lucky. But still our subconscious mind makes stealthy decisions in rapid succession as we go about our business and pleasure.

This ability allows men and women to progress through life ensuring their survival and spawning. Women, in particular, use these rapid cognitive conclusions to find a suitable mate who will protect and provide for her and her offspring. Until finding such a mate she will use this mental prowess to weed out unsatisfactory candidates.

beautiful women do not have the time to take into consideration every fact, opinion, or aspect of every single man she encounters. There simply aren't enough hours in the day. So these women subconsciously look for shortcuts to narrow the pool of available men worthy of her reproductive organs.

so a woman takes hasty assessment of the information YOU provide her. That's right you provide the information which is briskly transpose into a judgment by a beautiful woman.

I am such a woman and I judge you.

you can do one of two things:

1) accept that and present yourself favorably to me.

Or

2) deny that and suffer the consequences of presenting yourself as undesirable to me.

there are countless things that I, as a beautiful woman, judge you, as just another guy, on.

one of the more important being: your social status.

case in point this e-mail I received from a young man:

"Hi

I spotted you on [an online forum] and obviously clicked on you because of your beauty... What fantastic eyes! You have such a pixie-like quality. :)

But for me, beauty is nothing without brains... and you definitely have both. It's so nice (and rare!) to meet an educated and well-spoken woman."

lightning fast analysis:

as a first piece of communication, this e-mail conveys to me that this man does not have beautiful and smart women in his life.

Which leads me to believe other beautiful and smart women have chosen not to date him or be a part of his life.

I can only guess why. Possibly it's because his life is NOT exciting enough for beautiful and smart women. Possibly it's because he repels beautiful and smart women. Possibly he doesn't know what to do with beautiful and smart women. Possibilities are endless. And regardless of the real reason, I wouldn't be caught dead being the only beautiful and smart woman (of which I know plenty) to date this man.

what is rare in his life is plentiful in mine. Almost all of my girlfriends are beautiful and smart women. And they would judge me for dating a guy who wasn't up to our social status.

my judgment:

his social status lies below mine.

Don't get me wrong. What this guy wrote was very sweet and romantic but not when it comes from a complete stranger. This seems more appropriate during comfort building and relationship management stages, after a woman is attracted to the man.

Demonstrating lower social value is not a way to attract a woman into your life.

Men have complete control over how they present themselves to women.

How are you presenting your self?

Why is it so difficult to be honest with the opposite sex?

2008-02-11T22:25:00.000-08:00

I started using eHarmony (eH) and I'm having to reject a lot of the men because they just aren't presenting themselves in away that attracts me or makes me feel comfortable. I usually have no idea what to say to a guy when I'm just not attracted to him or comfortable continuing to get to know him. I feel sorry for them but I can't get to know them all and help them with their "innergame" issues.

Here's an email I sent a guy, just trying to point out some of the major issues I saw from him in just 3 emails we had together.

I really appreciate your kind words and compliments. It makes what I want to express even more difficult.

I understand your personal struggles with meeting women and with your own confidence levels. I'd be willing to give you some feedback that may help you, if you're interested.

I've been trying to work on my communication skills and I'm struggling to bring this up in a respectful way.

"but I'm glad you opened communication. I wasn't sure if you were going to."

I'm not sure if you're aware of how insecure that sounds to a woman.

"But I'm told truth is always best. If you fish with the truth, you're liable to catch something true."

I agree and feel being honest with you is very important, since most women would not take the time to tell you these kinds of things.

"When I get home, I sleep, watch my cats run around the apartment (very entertaining), listen to music, do some writing/prep work for potential side projects as I can."

This conveys that you have little or no social life and that beautiful women are not a part of your life. Beautiful women often look for signs that a man has other beautiful women in his life.

The pickup artists call this social proof. It's a way for women to quickly (and usually subconsciously) determine if a guy is 'dateble'. If other women find a guy attractive, it means that the guy has been prescreened and approved by other beautiful women.

If a man is rejected by women or doesn't have any women in his life, other women stay away as much as possible because they feel that the woman doing the rejecting probably has good reason to reject him. It saves women the hassle of getting to know each man thoroughly.

Beautiful women are approached by men constantly. (I have 114 matches with 40 them in communication. imagine if I took this much time with all of them..I'd never get anything else done) No one has the kind of time it takes to get to know all of them. So she has to make decisions quickly. Usually it doesn't work out for the man.

"The trouble I have is it really brings up all this pain for me to even hear that advice. It's involuntary pain and self-attacking which gets really unbearable when someone tries to help me with pointers and facts about what women want, respond to, etc. I know it's irrational pain, and intellectually I resist it, but it just feels so awful."

I hope this isn't painful for you but think about how much pain your causing women with your uncomfortablenesses. This is really awkward for a woman to read about a man she doesn't know.

If a man makes a woman feel uncomfortable, she will most likely avoid him. I can tell you that the way you presented yourself within these communications to me is something most women would feel uncomfortable with. There's a sense of desperation "Girl I dream about" and lack of any sense that you're used to being around a woman that is "very sensual".

"Anyway, so instead I've been just working on understanding what's going on inside me, what happened in the past and whatnot."

I wish you luck with this. It's one of the hardest things to do but I think it will benefit you greatly. But don't convey this to any women you're just getting to know. Women have a bad habit of making up stories about men quickly based off of very little info. She has to, to save time and to remain comfortable.

I want to be open and up front about this, so you don't feel led on. I'm use to dating a man who is comfortable with himself around women and understand social dynamics.

Women are very social beings and value themselves and other women off of the relationships they have. The last thing most women want to have in a boyfriend (their most important relationship) is someone who is insecure and socially unaware of the way they present themselves.

I don't want to say much more than that right now, because I really don't want to disrespect you. I just want to point out that a lot of the problems you're having with women most likely stem from the way you present yourself to women.

I don't think we're compatible. I'm still willing to discuss these things with you, if you think it will help. I just need to be up front and let you know, I don't see us as a couple.

I hope this doesn't come off overly pretentious. I happen to know a lot about male and female dynamics and I can usually see a guy's main issues quickly.

I wish you the best of luck and understand if you no longer want to discuss these things with me. I understand how painful it can be and I hope you get to the point where you can be comfortable with yourself and learn to make women feel comfortable around you.

Best wishes,

Amazon's Online Reader Upgrade service

2008-01-27T04:42:00.000-08:00

Amazon has an upgrade service that allows customers to get, immediately and indefinitely, a digital version of selected books that they buy through Amazon (not outside vendors). I got Crucial Conversations that way. I was hoping to get Stephen King's on writing that way but it's not available yet.

Here's a feedback form I filled out on Amazon:
I'm looking to submit feedback regarding Amazon Online Reader but I can't find the appropriate location or method for doing so. Please helps. I really like this feature and have loved using it for the one online book I've found to purchased with that upgrade feature. I'm a person with a painful disability and I find reading books more and more difficult. A lot of my books, especially for school -- I'm a senior at UCLA-- get converted into digital format to be used in Kurzweil a software program that offers their digital pre-programed services to those who need assistance reading; it reads for them. That software program is sort of like what your online service allows me but your service lacks a computer-generated reader who dictates to me. I haven't figure out if your service is compatible with their service yet but I'm interested to find out. I'd also like to recommend that Stephen King's on writing be rendered into your online format too. I would love to have a digital copy of that book, as of now I just bought the soft-cover version of it on amazon and I had bought the audio version from audibles.com previously.

Ideal Reader

2008-01-27T03:08:00.000-08:00

I recently listened to Stephen King's on writing in audio book form, read by Mr. King himself. I have to admit that I've never really sat down and read any of his books. In all honesty, I'm not much of a reader and as you can see from this blog, I'm not much of a writer either. Regarding the latter, of which, I tend to have delusional high hopes of amateurish grandeurs. And, according to "Stephie" (This is he refers to himself in the book form,) says that fatal fault sheds light on the pending BIG earthquake that imminently threatens my nonexistent writing career. Another vital piece of advice that he gives (which is less like advice and more like the impartment of important insight from an Idol to the lay) stresses the value of an Ideal Reader (IR). My IR for this particle blog tends to be the man who happened to have woke me up sometime earlier than the hour of this post. Ladies and gentle, Yes none other than yours truly: Mr. He Whom Is Him or Him Who He HWH (this word choice is more grammatically correct than it appears in previous postings).He happen to be one of the only persons who knows I keep this blog and knows my true identity is not Ms. Jones. I'll write more later about the concept of IR and this identity and review On Writing in depth (click On Writing to view amazon's booklisting and info page). Now, I would like for the effects of his last communication to wear off and for the effects of my medication to wear in. Good night HWH, thanks for inspiring me to write.

The Importance of Crucial Conversations

2008-01-20T15:57:00.001-08:00

I'm running into the same problem as most bloggers. I find it difficult to post daily. I put other things first and completely ignore my journaling. However, now it's an assignment so I really need to be doing it daily.

I have a lot going on in my life right now. Who doesn't? Right? Let's see if I can address some of these things here.

The most recent book I've read for pleasure was Crucial Conversations.

I was at Carmax Friday to pickup my car from the mechanics. There are several minor things they said they would work on as part of my purchase agreement. Well, they had my car all last week while they were waiting for parts. They gave me a "loaner" car to drive in the meantime. It was very uncomfortable.

When I got there they told me, that the parts had just come in and they would like to keep my car to work on it. They don't work weekends so, they'd basically just work on it for a few hours on friday and then wait until Monday to resume (yes, they are open on Dr. MLK Jr. Day). I told him I wanted my car back for the weekend and they could start working on it Monday. He agreed.

While I was at CarMax, there was a stray kitten who had run into the service area. They said it's mother had died and that they were going to call animal control because no one was going to be there over the weekend. I decided to take the kitten w/ me.

I got it professionally washed and her fingers clipped. I brought her home and everyone fell in love w/ her, except that cat (Matisse) that already lived here. He hissed at her. So, I was told by the owners to keep her in my room. They gave me a litter box, food, and water.

The next day, after we went to the farmer's market, the kitten and the cat got to check each other out first hand. Matisse was very calm and didn't hiss at all. The kitten on the other hand, hissed, growled and terrorized him.

I had a screenwriting group meeting to attend off of Mulholland, and I was told to let the kitten roam the house. We I got back, she was in my roommates room getting feisty with a stuffed animal. I was told by my roommate that the family had named the kitten while I was gone. I was hurt and felt left out.

This morning, the discussion of the kitten came up. I let the family know that I was still considering whether I wanted to adopt the kitten myself or let them adopt it. That's when they told me they named the kitten. I let them know I wasn't sure and that I wanted to think about it more. Having a kitten is a lot of responsibility. The two owners of the house left for Costco.

When they came back, the door to my room and the door in the hall leading to my were both open. I went to close the door immediately but it was too late, the cat had escaped. I was searching the living room for her when the daughter of the family noticed the kitten under the couch. The front door was wide open because they were still bringing in stuff from Costco and then it happened.

I felt insulted by a comment "Someone needs to get their shit together" and the whole thing just blew up. I've been hiding out in my room ever since trying to figure out how to correct this situation.

I recently purchased Crucial Conversations from Amazon and upgraded my purchase to receive an extra electronic-online version instantly (and indefinitely) I starting reading through it for suggestions on how to handle this Crucial Conversations better than I already had. It's tough. I sent an email to the family letting them know I wanted to talk and work things out. We'll see how it's received. Hopefully when can come to a mutually respectful decision and the kitty gets a good home.

Where did the weekend go? Random Riffs

2008-01-13T21:37:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling the Sunday Night dread of having spent a beautiful weekend trying to check things off of my to-do/due list and ended up putting more thing on the list then checking them off the list.

I have to bring my new (to me) car back to CarMax (the dealer) to get several things worked on. I have to be near LAX at 9am tomorrow morning. They plan to keep my car for several days. Ugh. I love my new car, it's a Mitsubishi Eclipse Spider and as happy as I am to receive a "loaner" car from the dealer, I really just don't want to part w/ my vehicle. But the work is being done for free as part of my purchase agreement.

I also have to interview a classmate of mine for the Interviewing class. She's an editor on the school paper and I've spent a good portion of today reading her articles but I feel like I need more time for my research. She is also going to interview me and I'm a bit nervous about that too.

253, a hyperlink text, was the other (Remix Culture) assignment that took up a lot of my weekend. And I realized life is like a hyperlink text. We're constantly faced w/ various options of things we can do. For example, this weekend I choose the read 253, instead of enjoying the beautiful weather. Which hopefully works in my favor in tomorrow's discussion. I spent hours reading through various passengers' text and I dont think I read a majority of the stuff that is available on that site.

I basically procrastinated on a lot of other very important academic things this weekend. The only writing related stuff I did was read "Lars & The Real Girl" for my advanced screenwriting class.

The other distraction I had was eBrad, who I met through eHarmony. I met him for the first time Friday. He seems cool enough. We'll see how it goes though. He asked me to kiss him after just meeting him shortly before and w/ no kino or very little comfort building. I asked him if he deserved a kiss. Come on fellas, work for it a little, please.

I also spent a great deal of time discussing Presidential candidates and taking these online surveys regarding the candidates that match my values most. Check them out:

This survey covers 11 Presidential-platform issues.
And
This Survey covers 25 Presidential-platform issues.

Both said Kucinich was the candidate that most represented my values...interesting.
More about this fascinating stuff later. I'm tired.
I didn't blog yesterday so, I'll have to make up for it and make an extra post tomorrow.

Academic: The Art of the Interview & Remix Culture

2008-01-11T20:01:00.000-08:00

It's a new year and I just finished my first week of the new quarter. So far, I love my classes: Advanced screenwriting (which is a year-long class), Interdisciplinary approaches to literature (Remix Culture), and Life Skills (The Art of the Interview).

The Remix culture class seems fun. The focus on mediums such as the book or new media hyperlink books. First day of class the professor played samples of Tupac and Moby to emphasis the DJ as a remix artist. We had to bring in objects that we considered remixed art. I brought a copy of a movie poster I made for my screenplay w/ stolen images from multiples sources and a copy of "The Game".

The interview class seems cool too because we get to interview someone that does something we admire or want to do ourselves after we graduate. And we may get our interviews w/ Harlen Ellison printed in autograph magazine. Yet the first assignment is to interview a classmate and also make a 500-word description of my face.

I also have to keep a daily journal so I'm going to try to post to my blog daily. Some post may remains as drafts for a while but I'll still find time to type each day. I have plenty to write about, I just need the time and patience to write it.

A Gigantic Update Regarding My Little Brother

2007-08-19T17:58:00.000-07:00

Upon my highly intelligible advice my little brother has decided to start a blog and chronicle his progress in the seduction community and has changed his pseudonym from Glassjaw (a band's name) to Happy Endings (a band's name...sorta, the band was actually called Happy Ending...singular; his new name is plural just because that's how he handles the ladies).

* Interesting side note
Both my dog and my brother's dog are named after bands too. Coincidence? I think not. We have a lot in common. Although the pseudonym I use in this community does not come from a band name, I have a very prominent email address that combined both my Ex-Boyfriend's band name and a name of a song he wrote about me. [End of side note] Now, on to the good news.

My brother will be in LA next Saturday 8/25 for his 21st birthday and we're going to celebrate. I am so excited. Yay! I really want to get a t-shirt for Saturday that says "My little brother has more game than you" as I wrote in this blog post.

My brother has canceled his Stylelife 505 subscription (for now) because he has a girlfriend and felt like the challenges weren't progressing. After several months he said he was still getting material that was focused on approaching, while he was getting stuck in comfort with kiss closing.

I have written about my little brother plenty of times on this blog. You can read about my little brother joining the game. I also mention him in these blogs: Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, and click.
May everyone have a younger brother like mine.

Laughter Yoga: What is it?

2007-08-16T12:05:00.000-07:00

WHAT IS LAUGHTER YOGA?
Laughter Yoga mixes healing laughter with moderately-light movement, and invigorating breathing exercises.

Well, what is laugher?
“Laughter is a virtue, a soul-expanding delight that shortens time. Every laugh you manage cuts short the miles and hours and days of drudgery. You can ascend the physical body on laughter. Let [laughter] give you balance, perspective, poise and patience.” Miriams-Well

Then, what is yoga?
“Yoga is a system of exercises which help your control of the body and mind. It also improves your breathing and focuses the alignment of your body, [mind, and spirit].” BBC

Or

“A Hindu series of mental, spiritual and physical exercises designed to aid in enlightenment. The exercise component of Yoga is often practiced in the West as an aid to healthy living.” Religious Tolerance

Laughter Yoga is a revolutionary form of body-mind exercise that combines yoga breathing and laughter exercises to improve your health and vitality, to decrease everyday stress and to promote a more positive mental attitude. It’s easy, fun and is a method that works for everyone!

What are the scientific benefits of Laughter Yoga?
- Reduces pain.
- Strengthens the immune system stimulating the production of T-cells and NK cells which help to fight cancerous cells and tumors.
- Improves circulation and strengthens the heart.
- Reduces anger and anxiety.
- Reduces stress.
- Burns calories and keeps you looking young.
- Improves stamina.
- Alleviates respiratory problems.
and
- Improves self-confidence and social skills.

Is Laughter Yoga similar to the (more popularly known) Western practice of yoga for healthy living?
Laughter Yoga is similar to the popular-Western practice of yoga in as much as both are practices toward unity of mind, body, and spirit through a series of exercises. However, laughter yoga does not involve the physical yoga positions. Laughter Yoga consists of light-impact movement, with uplifting laughter, and beneficial breathing exercises.

Do I have to do YOGA POSITIONS at Laughter Yoga?
No, Laughter Yoga does not require traditional yoga positions. However, anyone interested in doing some yoga stretches during Laughter Yoga can do them during free-movement exercises.

What can I expect at Laughter Yoga?
You can expect a series of low-impact group exercises that involve modest movement, enriching laughter, and yoga breathing. This video is a good indicator of what to expect: http://www.youtube.com/laughteryoga

For Laughter Yoga, do I need a sense of humor? Do I need to be in a good mood? Do I need reasons to laugh?
No, you do not need to have a sense of humor, be in a good mood or even have a reason to laugh to do Laughter Yoga.

Who can participate in Laugher Yoga?
Absolutely everyone is welcome at Laughter Yoga, especially beginners. Accommodations are made for those with special needs. Laughter Yoga crosses all barriers: age, gender, language, culture, physical abilities, race, religion, political beliefs, etc. Laughter is part of the universal human vocabulary. All members of the human species understand it.

Is the laughter in Laughter Yoga fake or real?
Most laughter exercises start out with simulated laughter to stimulate real laughter. In time fake laughter becomes genuine and flows out like a fountain.

Are there any hidden agendas involved with Laughter Yoga?
No, hidden agenda involved in Laugher Yoga:
* Non-Political
* Non-Religious
* Non-Exploitive
* Non-Competitive
* Non-Perfectionistic
* Non-Threatening

Where can I find out more about Laugher Yoga?
Call today for more information: 310-471-5773 or check out http://www.laughteryoga.org/about-laughter-yoga2.php

Gulity Pleasures: iPod!

2007-07-22T11:49:00.000-07:00

I love it!

I bought an iPod over a month ago and I am hooked. I think Steve Jobs and his crew deserve some kind of noble peace prize for inventing such a marvelous device. Before I bought the iPod, I had a couple hundred songs, nothing organized or even uploaded to my iTunes. Now, my hard drive is full. But that's because I found a way to scan and upload my books onto my iPod and because I discovered podcasts (another amazing invention, if you ask me).

My school provides a software program called Kurzweil. This software read written text and read it out loud. It also allows the student to take notes on the computer as it reads. It's a learning tool for students with disabilities. It also has a nifty feature that creates an audio mp3 file. So, now my books are on my iPod.

Since I'm not taking summer school, I put several recreational books on my iPod. I have read about 9 books in the last several weeks. Scratch that. My iPod has read about 9 books to me over the last few weeks. It has read to me:

~The Alchemist
~A Passion for Life
~The Einstein Factor
~The Secret
~The Tipping Point
~Writing to Change the World
~7 Habits of Highly Effective people
~Writing Great Essays
~Writing about Literature

Besides books, I've gone podcast crazy; my disk drive is full of so many different kinds of information. Meditation, self-help, and relationship stuff dominate my podcast queue. I'll start making podcast recommendations along with book reviews, as time allows.

I am a writing and I want to spend more time writing. Enjoy.

Laughter Yoga: How it can benefit your seduction, it's no laughing matter

2007-07-22T11:46:00.000-07:00

Hahaha! A friend of mine mentioned the concept of Laughter Yoga to me recently and this week I was able to try it out for the first (and second) time. I couldn't help but think that laughter yoga would be a useful "Day 2"/date or even a great place to meet HB (granted the group has to have HBs already enrolled for this to be beneficial).

I haven't actually tested this in the field but these are my thoughts regarding laughter yoga and seduction.

DHV:
It demonstrates that you have a fun-active lifestyle.

Identity:
If your identity involved healthy, active, social, fun, etc aspects, laughter yoga may just help with congruency.

Social Proof:
You may be one of the only young, available men in the group and girls will respond to you being surrounded by other women.

Peacocking:
Some men wouldn't be caught dead doing anything yoga related. At least that's the attitude my friend Action Adam feels. He says "I only do manly things and yoga isn't manly enough". My friend Action Adam is not a PUA and it shows. Chicks dig this shit. So laughter yoga isn't a flashy top hat or navigation goggles but I think it's much more powerful than any outfit you could wear.

Kino:
There is ample opportunity for light-social kino. Some activities involved clapping hands or comforting touching with other laughter yoga participants.

Comfort:
Endorphins are released during sex and laughter. Allow a HB to tag along while you attend your laughter yoga class will allow here to feel comfortable with you and will also leave her feeling similar sensations to post-coital bliss (which she will associate to you)

InnerGame:
You'll feel better which will have an effect on all aspects of your life, including seduction.

Brief Description of Laughter Yoga:

This revolutionary form of body-mind exercise combines yoga breathing and laughter exercises to improve health & vitality, lessen pain & everyday stress and promote a more positive mental attitude.

You do not need to have a sense of humor, be in a good mood or even have a reason to laugh to do Laughter Yoga. It's easy and it's fun!

Recent News:
Laughter Yoga on You Tube...Check it out!

http://www.youtube.com/laughteryoga

Check out these babies...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ayHcA_n7VY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vfSk-6tIvo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFHcFGKPMQ4

Benefits:

Most people believe that the statement " Laughter is the best medicine" is a stupid cliche that our parents tell us, much like "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." But recent scientific research proves otherwise. Mentally and physically laughter is extremely beneficial.

People are beginning to realize that laughter can even increase the survival rate of cancer patients. Laughter is a reaction the body has to stimulus. That stimulus does not necessarily have to be humor.

According to Dr. Paul Mcghee (of www.laughterremedy.com) Laughter can do all of the following:

- reduce pain
- strengthen the immune system stimulating the production of T-cells and NK cells which help to fight cancerous cells and tumors
- Improves circulation and strengthens the heart
- Reduces anger and anxiety
- reduces stress
- Burns calories and keeps you looking young
- improves stamina
- alleviates respiratory problems
and - improves self confidence and social skills

With the world on our shoulders, we are faced with global warming, war, climate changes,terrorism and political unrest, laughter is so important to our mental health as well.

SO, LAUGH A LITTLE MORE EACH DAY. SPREAD THE WORD AND THE LAUGHTER, SPREAD GOOD HEALTH AND CHANGE THE WORLD.

** note if you suffer from severe respiratory or heart conditions laughter could be damaging.
** also as with anything else, too much laughter isn't a good thing.

{I will finish this post shortly...enjoy what is here until I can edit this post further}

Guilty Pleasures: Designer Water

2007-07-22T11:40:00.001-07:00

I love designer water, especially some of the newer ones I have tried recently.

I saw Penn & Teller's "Bullshit" regarding bottled water and have to admit that I'm a bottle-water nutjob.

eBrad, the newest guy I'm dating that I met on eHarmony, put my water-taste buds to the test and I passed. I could tell which one was tap and which one was bottled.

My favorites seem to be the ones that claim to be enhanced w/ energy or electrolytes or anything else I feel I need enhanced water for.

I love the bottle shapes too. I got a designer bottle of water at a club and it was shaped like a flask.

Others have cool art work on the inside of the bottle, or inspirational messages, or bright colors. The bottled water industry makes billions a year and if you believe Mr. Penn and, his mute sidekick, Mr. Teller the water that comes out of your tap is just as good if not better.

Omigawd! My Little Bro F closed....hahaha!

2007-07-17T13:26:00.000-07:00

I'll write more later.

Through the Iris - 10 years

2007-07-04T09:27:00.000-07:00

Through The Iris lyrics by 10 years

Cherish
Two circular views of blue with a gray shade
So captivating
More than you know

False perceptions
That brought forth these questions of
Truth, love and hope
Now that you're injuring
I carry you with me just
Please hold on

Disappear and dissolve
A weakening wall
Will one day fall
It's wise to sever our loss
I redefine pulse
Through the iris

Love's not all lost
But it's nailed to my cross
And crucified all that I've held on
To be awaiting
Anticipating a touch such as yours

False affection
A spawn of neglecting
A love, lust, hoax
Please understand me
That now where you're standing
Is closer then I'd hoped

Disappear and dissolve
A weakening wall
Will one day fall
It's wise to sever our loss
I redefine pulse
Through the iris

Your Iris
Your Iris

Disappear and dissolve
A weakening wall
Will one day fall
It's wise to sever our loss
I redefine pulse
Through the iris

Disappear and dissolve
A weakening wall
Will one day fall
It's wise to sever our loss
I redefine pulse
A new iris

Seduction and Social Proof

2007-06-20T18:53:00.000-07:00

In the last 12 weeks, I have had very little time to do anything other than school related things which basically means I've had little-to-no time for seduction-community related things, except for the occasional updating from my little brother or school friends regarding their sarging.

My Little Brother; Glassjaw

he's one of styles 505.

from what I can tell from my little brother, He's doing fairly well. He's making up his own routines, meeting several girls a week, going on interesting dates, and overall catching on well. His routines are unique and fit him well and he's proud of making them up and using a lot of his own material. I told him he should create a blog or post some of his routines on line, but he had a typical male response;he's afraid exposure would limit his results. I tried to explain to them by the time anybody in this town that he currently lives in learns how to do His routines, he'd be doing new routines. I don't think he bought it.

His biggest sticking point now is kissing, which I find incredibly adorable. My brother is fairly young, and, I think, inexperienced. He's afraid that his nervousness will transfer to the girl while he's kissing her and she'll get too nervous to kiss back (or something like that). I really enjoy the naïve of what he told me. I tried to give them some advice. Not sure if he took any of it. He asked me how "He Who is Him" (H. W. H.), first kissed me. I told them the best I could recall. And I told him after he does it couple times, it won't be a big deal. He is trying come up with his own routine on how to kiss close but he is stuck. I told him to check out some seduction community techniques. He says this is his hardest sticking point, and he's been working on it the longest.

He really likes everything is learning and he really wants to become a pickup artists instructor. I guess I should not be surprised. my brother and I have always shared common interests; I like the suggestion community, he likes his seduction community. I want to teach men how to pick up women, so does he. maybe he'll change his mind after a while.

Dr. Yes, my school friends.

at one point I was calling him my writing partner, but is now my writing partner because he doesn't help me write anything he just listens to me talk about what I wonder. In a previous blog I named him Dr. Yes because I thought it was a cool name, and figured he could use the boost in ego. He's been quoted as saying he "gets yeses with surgical precision." But I don't think he's been doing too much or in regards to the seduction community or sarging. However, when I left him last night, he was getting very comfortable with a very attractive young lady. we're going out tonight, so we'll see what kind of trouble we can create.

I don't know the status of Dr. yeses love-life but I do know he's helped my love life in more ways than one; social proof is powerful.

I'm actually getting ready to go, so I'll write more about this later.

"schools out for summer"and I found my cell phone, + Puff Puff Pass it along

2007-06-14T10:57:00.000-07:00

Spring quarter officially ended last night from me... Yay! And I found my cell phone in my room when I went to do the laundry... double Yay!! And I'd like to introduce a new segment to my blog called Puff Puff Pass It Along... triple Yay!!!

Puff Puff Pass It Along

Introduction

I would like to share my words reflecting my admiration, knowledge, suggestions, and stories regarding my favorite kind of medication, medical cannabis. I don't have much time now to share everything with you now. However over the summer I would like to write more until then I will leave you with what many of my friends have been asking me for, the location of a doctor in Hollywood, who prescribes medical cannabis.

1-877-Got-Kush
open noon to 5 p.m. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.
1017 North La Cienega Suite 110.
West Hollywood California.

My apologies to those that don't live in the area. Doctors are somewhat easy to find, if you're looking for them. Good luck.

That's all I got for now until next time, keep it green.

*this blog was created with the assistance of Dragon Naturally Speaking Software. Thank God for technology.

I lost my cell

2007-06-06T11:52:00.000-07:00

And it's on silent (no vibration). It's been missing since Friday and I feel so fucking disconnected. Every single # I don't have memorized is stored in that phone. All my appointments and reminders....ugh. Next week is finals. I was in unmanageable amounts of pain for the previous two weeks and I am still feeling the effects of the pain now. I asked for another paper extension and I am going to be receiving an INCOMPLETE in one of my course. Making up all my missed assignments during the summer. I've just been unable to physically keep up with the demands of such a rigorous educational structure. I'd write more but It hurts. I've Dragon voice recognition software but it only works if there are no other noises around me when I am working, not ideal for an academic setting, if you ask me. In one more week I'll be free for the summer...yay!

Lyrics for the now: Brett Dennen

2007-05-27T10:42:00.000-07:00

By & By Lyrics
Artist(Band):Brett Dennen

listen close, as close as I am to you
like the bell of liberty, I'll ring a sound that's true
and days go by and seasons too
in time our love may digress with the words we can renew

oh, i'll tell you that I
I love you by and by
I don't know if I'd survive
without a friend like you in my life

and I know words can be the worst to pervey
how it is I feel for you, it's hard for me to say
but if we keep it simple, I think it's better that way
tingled words tend to lead my messages astray

oh, i'll tell you that I
I love you by and by
I don't know if I'd survive
without a friend like you in my life

this web we weave
holds us hand in hand
and if we loosen our grips
we may weaken these strands
so lets reinforce our love and let it echo through the land
and if we don't we may find ourselves washed up with the sand

oh, i'll tell you that I
I love you by and by
I don't know if I'd survive
without a friend like you in my life

I'm exhausted and there are still 2 more weeks left of school

2007-05-23T06:23:00.000-07:00

I think I am going to have to officially change my address to the address of the school library since I've spent more time there than at my actually house in the last week.

I know it's been beautiful outside, and as much as I'd like to spend time outside with the trees, unless it involves me studying than it's really not a priority. Besides my books are made out of paper, which is made out of trees, so I feel one with nature just by being a good student.

I didn't even realize what day it was because I barely had a weekend. I spent most of it studying or preparing for something school related. I need a break.

I can't wait for summer.

Quote of the moment: Wollstonecraft

2007-05-20T15:31:00.000-07:00

''I have a heart that scorns disguise, and a countenance which will not dissemble.''

Most Random Blog Ever!

2007-05-17T18:26:00.000-07:00

I found my purpose in life today:

To challenge social conventions through my art.

Monogamy is like Chinese

2007-05-16T08:35:00.000-07:00

Did you know Mandarin Chinese is most spoken language in the world? I do not speak Chinese in any form. I tried learning a few words once but I just could not pronounce the very detailed accents that are required to speak Chinese well. And I just could not commit to the discipline it takes to learn such a complicated language. I have a great appreciation for the language and culture of the Chinese. I mean, 3 billion people could not be wrong, could they? But it is not for me. Not now at least. I have a high level of honor for people who happen to master Chinese.

Arrrgggghhh!!!!!

2007-05-13T21:57:00.000-07:00

I just found my movie magic screenwriter software broken in two piece....I want to cry. That fucking cost $200.....shit!

Lyrics of the now: "Undercover on" Rival Schools

2007-05-13T21:54:00.000-07:00

I'm not exactly sure what these lyrics mean but I have a distinct feeling I've been on the other end of these lyrics more than once, especially recently.

The lyrics are unedited from another website (there are errors):

Crept on you slowly
But faster than you could see
It抯 not like I noticed
I wouldn抰 be the first one you let in
The same person that you know would forget to be honest
I might be the furthest from your mind
Whatever you told me somehow you sold me on
I want to believe it 憈il I see later on
Apparition counterfeit
Can this racket go on another year
Overconfident, maybe
You抮e still here
Misplaced my fear
Whatever you told me, somehow you sold me on
I want to believe it 憈il I see later on
You cross the other way
And hope I didn抰 see you
I start calling out your name
Cause I want to meet you again
Don抰 know why you say you抮e doing fine
That抯 not what it looks like
Something doesn抰 feel right
You抮e undercover抯 on
You抮e acting kind of warm
But soon you抳e got to leave
There抯 something you need
I抦 not invited to go
Those people that you know
Well, they don抰 care about you
Could live easily without you

Yay! it's going to be hot for at least the next 3 days

2007-05-06T09:13:00.000-07:00

That means I can wear summery cute stuff....yay! I don't know why wearing a cute dress/skirt makes me so happy but it does. Today's going to be the hottest. Too bad I am studying for a English midterm that I have to take tomorrow. I'd rather be at the beach or next to the pool.

Today I am going to be the new me

2007-05-03T11:05:00.000-07:00

Expect something wonderful. =0)

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0
U

In the Grand Fashion of this blog; more randomness

2007-05-01T23:38:00.000-07:00

I Love He Who is Him (or Him Who is He)

I really don't want to say a whole lot about this right now but I will later when I have more time and energy to construct the right combination of words to express what I truly mean by those words.

With that being said, let the radio show begin. Welcome all.

I've got so much to say and not nearly enough time or energy to say it all...or to type out correctly (error free). So, what you get is what you get, for now. I'll clean it all up as soon as I get a moment to breathe. I can only physically move so fast. My mind seems to race off faster than I can keep up with it. And I am easily distractable. It's really not funny either. My mind works weirdly, especially my memories.

I came into class earlier in this quarter and the professor said "I missed you this morning at 9am". I looked puzzled and said "Really?" "You were supposed to meet at 9 this morning to go over your paper." Puzzlement quickly shifted to confusion. "I was?" He barked back "That's what I had written on your paper."

I honestly have no recollection of making a 9 o'clock appointment with my professor. This really tripped me out because it's not the first time someone has told me I have said or did something or they saw me somewhere, when I have no memory of it. And then after they tell me all about it. I think about and I think about and then I think I start to remember and I have idea if I am remembering or just imagining it based off what they told me happened. It's really disorientating sometimes. It's like I don't know which way is up or right.

I had a girl tell me that she had a picture of me and her and another guy together at an event we were at. I told her I didn't remember taking a photo with her all night. She sent me the electronic version of the photos and I swear, it's not me. I even asked my friends. I really that I don't look at myself all day long. I look at other people all day long and other people look at me all day long. But I know I know what I look like in a god damn photograph. I've had professional pictures taken and I've seen myself on film enough times to know what I look like and I did not take a photo with that girl.

So if you think that text message "I just saw your twin" is a jealousy ploy it's not. If you saw a girl that look just like me, I would tell you to go and talk to her and tell me if she's anything like me and if she was, I'd ask you to bring her home. I want to know what a girl like me looks like. I wanna know how she acts. I want know how she thinks. I want pet her and play with her. And tell her stories. But the thing is, she doesn't exist.

But that wasn't what I was getting at. I was talking about memory. Memory is weird. The brain and all it's programming and biological technologies overwhelm me.

There's a reason why humans only use less than 10% of their brain (or what ever the statistic is). It's because the human brain is so powerful that humans can not handle it's full potential. We can barely handle the little we're utilizing.

I had a great day today. One of those days were something internal clicks and you feel like you've been given another piece of the puzzle. One of those days you feel on top of the world as if you can make a difference. One of those days when you're filled with hope so bright it glows strongly from your chest. One of those days when you remember your goals are to leave this place better than you found it. One of those days your heart feels bigger than any ego you've ever encountered and the day is perfect but it's one of those days that a tragedy would have to drag you out of the clouds. You know, one of those days you feel connected to every great person you ever knew, loved, or who lived. I know you know what I am writing about. I feel this way every so often. And I know if I feel it you feel it too. It's not something we talk about often. But we're all capable of it and know I am not the only one that feels this way.

I want to learn to set goals and follow through because I am going to change the world for a collective betterment. And I am going to need so help. Is anyone with me?

There's so much I want to type but I am tired...feeling this passionately can be draining. And I have a cold. I am just lucky I got out bed today. I hope I don't lose my inspiration in the night.

If you're sleeping next to the one you love, may they find their way into your arms soon enough. Goodnight.

Unedited

Optimists tend to respond to disappointments by formulating a plan and asking others for help

2007-05-01T19:02:00.000-07:00

HELP! I need a plan....hahahhhahaha. I'd love to write more but I have a paper to finish.

Some advice I gave my girlfriends today

2007-05-01T13:24:00.000-07:00

Below is some advice I shared with some of my girlfriends today. Maybe it will help someone out in cyberspace, so I am sharing it here:

I love you. You're such a beautiful and talented person, independent and daring. I think you've made a lot of progress recently. I am proud of you. And I miss. I think you should really give yourself credit for what you have been able to accomplish.

Here are some tips from what I've been learning about "self-talk":

~When you feel a shift in your mood (for example, if you start feeling sad, angry, anxious) take a step back from what ever you are doing and relax. Then take the time to really examine what you've been telling yourself. What is important is to take note of your negative internal monologue.

~Identifying self-talk may require unraveling several distinct thoughts from a single word or image. You may think to yourself "Oh no!" and then have a rush of memories, thoughts, or associations.

~It's hard to evaluate the validity of a belief you're scarcely aware of-- you usually just accept it as is. But Self-talk is typically irrational but almost alway sounds like the truth. "What-if" thinking may lead you to expect the worst possible outcome in a given situation, one that is highly unlikely to occur. Yet because the association takes place so quickly, it goes unchallenged and unquestioned.

~Negative self-talk perpetuates avoidance. By continuing to avoid situations and people, you reinforce the thought that it's dangerous. You may even project images of catastrophe around the prospect of confronting the situation. In short, anxious self-talk leads to avoidance, avoidance begets further anxious self-talk, and around and around the cycle goes.

~ Negative self-talk is a series of bad habits. You aren't born with a predisposition to fearful self talk: you learn to think that way. Just as you can replace unhealthy behavioral habits, such as smoking or drinking excess coffee, with more positive, health-promoting behavior, you can replace unhealthy thinking with more positive, supportive mental habits; Bear in mind that the acquisition of positive mental habits takes the same persistence and practice required for learning new behaviors.

~Countering negative self-talk involves writing down and rehearsing positive statements which directly refute or invalidate your negative self-talk.

~ By starting to notice when you're engaging in negativity, and then countering it with positive, supportive statements to yourself, you'll begin to turn your thinking around. With practice and consistent effort, you'll change both the way you think and feel on an ongoing basis.

~ Challenge your negative self-talk with these questions:

1) what is the evidence for this?
2) is this always true?
3) Has this been true in the past?
4) What are the odds of this catastrophe happening?
5) What is the very worst that could happen? What is so bad about that? What would I do if the worst happened?
6) Am I looking at the whole picture?
7) Am I being fully objective?

Positive statements you can say to yourself:

"So what",
"I can handle this",
"I can be bothered by this situation and still get through it",
"This may be difficult, but I can tolerate a little anxiety, knowing that it will pass.",
"I'm O.K. the way I am.",
"I'm lovable and capable",
"I'm a unique and creative person",
"I deserve the good things in life as much as anyone else",
"I accept and believe in myself",
"I'm worthy of the respect and love of others.",
"I don't have to be all better tomorrow"
"I can continue to make progress one step at a time"
"I acknowledge the progress I've made and will continue to improve"
"It's never too late to change"
"I'm willing to see the glass as half full rather than half empty"

So much to post so little time to post it all

2007-05-01T12:33:00.000-07:00

I've been neglecting more than just my blog lately. I've got to figure out the whole time management thing because I feel like running in circles. Maybe it's just this cold. I should give myself credit, I've gotten a lot of things done in the last several weeks. I'll update when I have a bit more time. Right now, I should be preparing for something school related. I hope everyone is have a great week.

Forbes link fixed

2007-04-30T08:24:00.000-07:00

I fixed the link to the Forbes article. It should work now. Enjoy!

Things I cannot live without: Girlfriends

2007-04-29T16:30:00.000-07:00

They are great. I wish I had more. Now, I have to work on my English paper. I've been dicking around all day.

Life is NOT perfect but parts of it are excellent

2007-04-29T14:14:00.000-07:00

Perfection is overrated. This is a random rant. And it may ramble. A basic observation I have about humans, including myself, is they constantly want more than what they have but they do not always utilize all they have. I'm sure if you thought about it long enough you could probably think of example for every desire people have.

I have a friend who wants to be a comedian. We'll call him the "Komedy Kid"[Side note: for those of you who have actually read my blog, he is also know as the tagalong kid, or something like that, in a post made earlier in the year. He's the guy who said "Ohmygod! This (PUA stuff) is going to change my life; I am going to have babies." Side note ending] He bitches and moans about it all the time and he is constantly criticizing others. He thinks he knows how to do everything right but when it comes time to doing it, he doesn't, and then he always has an excuse.

I was supposed to see him perform comedy a couple times and both times I ended up flaking on him. So the third time he invited me out, I actually made an effort to see him perform. So here's the scenario:

It's late on a school night. I'm usually in bed before the show even starts. I just left the library, where I was working on writing a paper that was due that week. So, before the night even starts, I can think of at least two different places I'd rather be and two different things I would rather be doing than seeing comedy in a dingy room of some brewery in a college town. Namely in a lover's bed, sleeping after sex.

So Komedy Kid had better pull some Kung-fu komedy out of his ass or I'm going to be pissed I even showed up. So I show up with my girlfriend from school. For all the PUAs out there reading this blog, we all know each other from class. Some of our other friends show up and it's on. Except for it's not really on. We go in and nothing is ready. But I play it cool and try to relax because I am there to support a friend. And I'm stoned so it really doesn't matter. We're the only people in this room. Well, it was us and some of the comedians but it was mostly use. So the first comedian goes on, to warm the crowd up. And at this point there's less than 10 people in the room and I am one of three girls huddled near the front.

I'm an easy target, dressed in red, with a cute red hat to cover my blood shot eyes, and a form fitting red jacket to match my wine red lips and a fluffy red scarf to match my beat up old red sketchers. "What's your major?" the first comedian hurlers at me. "English" I bat back to him as I turn to figure out where my friend is and why he's not performing. That first comedian ends his set fairly quickly. Then a girl comedian gets up. Luckily she doesn't see me as an easy target. She tells some funny jokes about dating and her set ends a while later.

The whole time I am thinking my friends going to be the next comedian on. But not it's another older comic. He also thinks I am a great target, I play along....ha ha he! But he quickly looses my interest after a while but I am fine because I am still stoned and he's not completely awful. Although it's uncomfortable when he starts saying he'd eat a girls pussy in the audience. It just came off inappropriate and uncomfortable since it was just out of no where in his routine. He's calling for the next comedian to come to the stage but the next comedian isn't in the room. And there's a delays, so he stays on stage for a bit longer.

The next comedian is actually someone I have heard of and do know of, Godfrey. I remember seeing this guy first on the "IT Factor" on the bravo channel or one of those cable t.v. stations. I used to watch it years ago. And he was on it. He auditioned for SevenUp and he then became the SevenUP guy. He probably got paid well for it and I'd say it was probably a bit of an accomplishment to be black spokesperson for a major soda corporation and not be an athlete. As far as I know, he was fairly unknown at the time of getting that spot and he's still fairly unknown. It's pretty cool to have minority as a spokesperson. I'm rambling.

By the time he had gotten to the stage I had to pee, so I excused myself and when I came back. I decided not to sit back near the front with my friends. Instead I hung out with Komedy Kid near the back. Godfrey went on for ever and he was only mediocre in laughablity. I mean, when he was funny, he was really funny. But when he wasn't, he was sorta like this blog, just white noise to fill space (well, in his case black noise but who's counting?)

So I am sitting next the Komedy Kid and every time Godfrey boring, he gets fidgety. Then his fidgetiness turns to mopiness. And he begins sighing and grumbling softly to himself but so much so that I can see his anguish out of the corner of my blind eye. And I turn to him....

And if his body language could talk, it would be screaming "I'M A BIG BABY! WAH!"

I tried to silently console him by patting him on the back. I was hoping to cheer him up before he went on because I knew that a bad attitude would effect his performance. But he wasn't having any of my consoling.

When he did eventually get up; everyone left the room but his five friends and a few of the remaining comedians. He did not handle it well. They have a turn for the way he handled it; he coked. And it looked bad. At one point, he even got made at the audience, his friends, for not laughing at his terrible timing and pathetic jokes. I was no longer stoned and wished I had been. He didn't stay on stage long before he called up the next comedian and he practices some really lame jokes on us. But the best point of the night was when the last comic, a midget, got on stage and referred to me as "Blossom". I was done. It was already the next day and I was ready to leave.

My friend really pissed me off about it too. He had a shitty attitude about it and blamed the whole thing on the Godfrey. What a chump. He didn't take any responsibility for his own actions and basically said there was nothing he could have done in that situation. I was pissed I even showed up because he disappointed me in his ability to handle a difficult situation.

He bitches and moans that he doesn't have quality comedy gigs but then he doesn't take advantage of the opportunities he has. It's a real shame too because he's really talented but his own by negative outlook is going to limit his success.

I was actually started to respect the kid in creative ways. He's very sharp and witty. He's just too young and stupid to take advantage of it.

He's waiting for the perfect gig to come along but he's not willing to learn, grow, and improve with the imperfect gigs first.

It's like people want more money but they don't even use the money they already have wisely. Or people want the perfect partner but they aren't appreciated the good things they already have in the person their with. It's like wanting a better job but not performing well at your current job. Or wanting more opportunities but pissing away the opportunities they already have.

I need to get back to working on my English paper. This post will remain unedited until further notice.3:22

No one likes an asshole

2007-04-28T16:43:00.001-07:00

unless they are fucking it.

Check out the "Dump the Couch!" article in Forbes

2007-04-26T19:44:00.000-07:00

Check out the "Dump the Couch!" article in Forbes

Thu, April 26, 2007 - 7:43 PM

http://cttoday.org/?p=198

I know I mentioned this previously, somewhere; I only read newspapers and magazines while I'm waiting, usually in a doctor's office lobby. Fortunate for me (or unfortunate, depending on how you look at it) that I've been doing a lot of waiting in a lot of doctor's offices during a majority of the last two years.

Most the time, what I read is diabolically devoid of all density; such publications with Britney or Paris on the cover or other such tarts, covered or uncovered, within the publication. Occasionally, I’ll stumble upon a political piece; but most of the times, at least in recent times, the pages are filed with similar scandals of those starring Lindsey or Nicole. But on the rarest of occasions I have the honor of having something truly enlightening to read while waiting in those dreadful waiting rooms.

Today, I had the pleasure of happening upon a Forbes. Imagine my delight. I can not honestly remember the last time I read through a Forbes. For some odd reason, stemming from strange developmental experiences; I have a fixation for quality magazines. I used to read Time magazine, when I was a kid, every time I went over to baby sit the neighbor’s kids. After I put the kids to bed I would pour through stacks of Time Magazines. I loved it. Time magazine represented something very special to me as adolescent. Time magazines are a little easier to find at Doctor’s offices, although not as easy as finding exclusive dirt on Christina or someone related to Anna Nicole.

The cover of Forbes caught my eye and I read through most of the article about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. As some of you may recall, I have been working on self-improvement since I moved to Los Angeles, about 7 months ago. What many of you probably don’t know is that I have been participating in cogitative behavioral therapy groups and learning about difference aspects of it, for my own benefit (not to go into it as a profession). I am really enjoying it and I feel like I am slowly (but steadily) progressing well.

I would definitely recommend it to any of my friend and anyone looking for a better way to handle life’s difficulties. Students and others on medical insurance should ask their provider if any CBT services are available to you.

Pressure

2007-04-19T19:14:00.000-07:00

I've been under a lot of stress and pressure lately. I'll be back to blogging when things settle down.

See, even my mom gets it

2007-04-16T01:01:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why I was so worried about my mom. Everything worked out fine. I picked her up from LAX and we went to breakfast at my favorite fifties restaurant in L.A.

I can't remember who started talking about the seduction community but before long she was telling me about my brother's experiences and I was telling her about my research. And at some point, I realize, my mom understands the seduction community and my interests in it.

She practically described it to me in a very similar fashion to how I have described it.

She also thinks that it's great for my brother and she said he joined a gym. She even acted out one of the unique opening routines my brother created. Hahahahaha...Oh wow.

Life is beautiful. I'd write more but I am exhausted.

My Inner Game Issues: Stress Management

2007-04-15T06:23:00.000-07:00

You may not believe how much stress interferes with my interpersonal relationships. I'm currently learning to manage my stress more effectively but it's hard.

My mom called me yesterday to tell me she's flying into LAX tomorrow (which is really today, Sunday). She mentioned this to me previously but what she didn't mention before was that she expected me to chauffeur her around for the duration of three days.

She has business in Irvine this week. So she wants me to drive her out there today after she exhausts me. Then she wants me to pick her up, drive her to Orange County, attend a party with her next Saturday afternoon and take her back to Irvine. And finally, she wants me to pick her up from her hotel in Irvine to take her back to the airport on Sunday. Ugh.

Then on the phone, she gave me a guilt trip about her having to consider getting a rental car. I hate guilt trips because they always trip me up.

I guess it wouldn't be so stressful, if I felt caught up on my studies but I'm not and before she called, I was looking forward to having today to dedicated to finally catching up. It doesn't look like that is going to happen.

I am not exactly sure why I am so stressed out but I am. I tried to meditate for 40 minutes but it just put me to sleep.

This inability to manage stress effectively occurs with most of my relationships, especially my romantic ones and I am sure that it comes through towards guys. I'm working on learning better strategies for dealing with these issues. It's a long, slow battle.

This passage blows my f***ing mind!

2007-04-10T22:51:00.000-07:00

Savoy's latest blog is a passage from Badboy Lifestyles (BBLS) latest e-book. My gut reaction wasn't pretty. I felt my first cringe of criticism when Savoy gave his little disclaimer in his introduction of the excerpt; "I don't agree with every single word".

The title of the section gave me hope; "Think for yourself". It's something we should all strive for. It's definitely a perpetual goal of mine and when I read those words in bold print, I know I'd be using that advice as I read the rest of the passage.

First Paragraph; I couldn't agree more. Bravo! It's about time someone said that out loud. Now if we could only get that to be a universally accept statement, we'd all be happier, right? It's about time fairy tales (and movies) and society wise up and start dispensing some reality into this theatrical non-fiction we call life. Life doesn't end "happily ever after". So drop the guise.

Second Paragraph; spot on once again. So far so good. I can dig this.

Most Common Bullshit Ideas:

1) Paragraph one; Now this is where I think the excerpts sorta misses the mark. It gets most of it right but there seems to be something missing. Here's what's right in this paragraph: I do HATE nice guys. But I also hate the word "nice" because it implies just what BBLS describes beautifully; boring. "Nice" is something someone says when they don't know what else to say. If someone describes a guy to me as "nice", I'm not interested. PERIOD. It means they couldn't think of anything better to say about him, which either means they don't know him that well or worse, he could really truly be "nice" (which means there's not to say about him). It means he's not known to be an Axe murderer but there's nothing else that distinguishing about him either.

Still paragraph one of this section; But then I come to this quote: "This is not to say you have to be an asshole to get girls but did you ever ask yourself, why are many beautiful women are attracted to the jerk or the badboy?" And I start to think for myself (which the section heading instructed to do) and I think to myself (by myself). "I'm a beautiful women" but I am not attracted to 'jerks' and 'badboys'. And then I think for myself a little bit more and I wonder. "I'm I that different from most beautiful women? I don't think so. Most of my girlfriends are beautiful women and none of them are attracted to 'jerks' or 'badboys'. In fact, I don't know of personally any beautiful woman that is actually attracted to those kinds of guys. I mean, I've heard of these women but I've never really known one of them personally. Maybe they're urban legends. No, they can't be urban legends, can they? "

And then I wonder; "Are there really ONLY three types of men in this world "nice guys" (yuck), jerks (ugh), and badboys (double ugh)? There's got to be some sort of highbred nice-jerk-bad guy-boy or something in the middle, right? I could probably think through most of the guys I've ever dated and honestly say that not very many of them could be considered a jerk or a badboy. Some may have been called "nice" but it usually wasn't because they were nice in the sense of the word that we already covered. Most of them would be considered somewhere in the middle. Something I like to consider a good guy or a hero

A good guy has integrity. He tries to do what's right at all times even when it's difficult (he doesn't always succeed but he never fails to try). He's assertive ("I count; you count"). He's independent, compassionate, witty, wise, and "some kind of wonderful". A hero has all the adventure of the badboy but without the attitude. And most of all he's balanced. His knows the distinction between too much and too little excitement, predictability, fun, seriousness; and he pulls it all off with class and style. While stirring up those oh-so-important emotions.

Paragraph two in the section: "It's sad, but true, that sometimes the more you disrespect them, the more they like you." This sentence should be removed from existence FOREVER! Ugh, NO! Wrong! Try again. Sorry. Think that over some more, please. A good guy/hero does NOT need to disrespect anyone to get what he wants, especially a woman he's romantically/sexually involved with. To disrespect a woman to get sex, is to disrespect yourself. I don't know what direction was intended by this statement but I can't agree with it regardless of what arguments anyone may have. And I'm not saying that disrespect doesn't happen, it does but to purposely use it to manipulate a situation is what gives PUA a bad name in the first place and it's CHEAP! If you're smart enough to get into our pants, you can at least be respectful about it.

"So don't be afraid to be more selfish" Change the work "self" to assertive ("I count";You count") then maybe I'd agree but this world doesn't need anymore selfishness that it already has.

I don't see anything wrong with seeking happiness and surrounding yourself with people who make you happy. But is this selfish mindset the only successful mindset of advanced seducers. Aren't there other "frames" that can get strong results?

Paragraph three: I can agree to most of that but I prefer to go without the hate and the pain. I'm not into those sorts of emotions.

[I'll have to finish this post another time. It's late and I'm tired now. And I have class in the morning. 11:47p.m. and in true fashion this post will remain unedited until I can get around to reading it over and making corrections. Enjoy]

things I Cannot Live Without: Euphemisms [or morning toast]

2007-04-10T09:01:00.000-07:00

"Morning Toast" is a euphemism for the first bowel movement of the day. This blog post is going to be a figurative euphemism (morning toast) for crap is spew out in this blog. It's early and this is my first metaphorical bowel movement of the day.

Euphemisms are great. I love them. In fact, I pride myself on using them and coming up with new ones. Although I have to admit, there is one type of euphemism I hate and that's military euphemisms.

War is ugly and I personally do not think it needs to be sugar coated at all. If more people with discussing the tragic reality of war, maybe more people would be against unjust and falsified war (especially the non-constitutional war we're in right now). I don't want to turn my blog into a political shit fest, so I leave this topic alone for now.

My favorite kinds of euphemisms are sexual in nature. Sexual acts, anatomy, and other related topics are great sources of colorful alternative language. I particularly like calling a man's anatomy, "package".

Example:
Guys are funny when it comes to their packages.

It's true. They have names and different euphemisms for address their packages. It's cute. Each guy has his own style regarding this topic. And it's always fun in new relationships to see how a guy handles his package.

Well, enough naughty talk for now. I got to get back to studying. Today's Morning Toast was brought to you by the radio.

Did you just see the cat fight outside my window?

2007-04-08T21:01:00.000-07:00

No, this isn't a cheesy PUA line. There was literally a cat (or some other nonhuman creature) fight happening right outside my bedroom window. At first it sounded like a baby in a blender, then two distinct creatures could be heard, there may have been several creatures involved (including the household cat).

And they went at it. They were so loud that my roommates could hear them through my bedroom wall, with my bedroom door closed, through a hallway door closed, and the television on. It was the snarliest sound I've ever heard live (unrecorded). After a moment or two of this ruckus I rush to the window (so, I don't look completely lazy when my roommates ask me what happened).

At that point, I realized that our cat may be outside. So I yank the blinds up, throw the window open, and try to see through the screen, but I couldn't see anything outside. So by this time, I think I scared the creatures off and I hear my roommates getting aroused by the ruckus.

I go out in the backyard to find my landlord calling the cat in. He won't come in. He's playing hard to get. I rush back inside and grab a plate and a fork and begin tapping the fork onto the plate as I call for the kitty. "Matese...Matese...Metese, if you come inside right now you'll get extra treats."

That didn't work. I gave up and decided to take a break from studying to begin this blog and then I was interrupted by a text message.

And I had a very interesting conversation with a congruent, confident, wise man. Some how we ending up talking about my therapy. The thing I'm working on right now with my therapist is the ability to deal with my emotions and go to place (internally) that I don't really want to go. So in PUA talk, my therapist is helping me work on my "inner game". It's some heavy shit.

But it's very helpful. She really does push me to think about things that I've never stopped to consider. And she doesn't let me bullshit my way out of anything. She asks tough questions and we had several breakthroughs in the last few weeks. It's been great. I look forward to this journey I'm on.

Not only do I work on self-improvement stuff with her, I've made it a priority in my life right now. Practically everything I do can be related to improving myself, my life, my education, or my happiness.

Something that really makes me happy, is to help people. I love it. I go out of my way to help people. Not all the time, and not always to everyone. But I consider myself a kind and caring person and I've worked hard to surround myself with amazing people, so when I have an opportunity to help, I try. Especially regarding, personal issues.

A lot of my friends have told me that I'm very non-judgmental. Especially my female friends. They usually come to me with their craziest escapades or saddest relationship problems. And I listen and I give advice as I see fit. And I do my best to make them feel better.

I always find it odd when they ask me about relationship things. I realized that I've dated a lot of men and have had very liberal sexual experiences but I don't consider myself a dating expert and a relationship coach.

Although I think it would be really fun to learn how to be a dating coach or a relationship expert, I'm not qualified to counsel anyone about anything. I love learning and being taught. Especially in personal relationships. Some of my best friends are my best teachers. I've learned so much from people around me.

It's no wonder I like to fantasize about the teacher-student roles. Ha. I probably should write much more about this so I'll change the radio station.

I realized that I hold a lot of emotions in, and I'm starting to see how dangerous it has been to me both physically and emotionally. My emotions feel foreign to me. I don't even know what to call them or how to label them. They're all a mess and it feels overwhelming.

Holding these emotions in, not knowing how to deal with stress, and being unable to relax have taken a toll on my body. I have physical problems with my body because of cognitive and emotional issues. The best advice I can give anyone right now is, don't hold your emotions in.

If you're under a lot of stress and dealing with emotional responsibilities the best thing to do is to deal with them or talk about them. If you don't, you could end up hurting yourself. And you can't take care of all your responsibilities if you're hurt, burnt out, or worse.

It's amazing how much of the PUA stuff can be applied to other aspects of ones life. Although, that's one reason why I like the PUA stuff, because it's multidisciplinary. I actually applied to UC Berkeley to get an interdisciplinary degree in English, Rhetoric, and History and I was going to call my customized emphasis "Critical Thinking".

Ha...I actually put something like that on my application. It's no wonder that was the only school I applied to that didn't admit me. Oh well, such is it. I really wanted to go to Berkeley because their interdisciplinary degree department was very well organized and student friendly.

My school, that I'm currently attending, has a similar but much less facilitated and more limiting program to create ones own degree path.

I abandoned the idea of customizing my degree and decided that all liberal arts degrees are about critical thinking. And an English degree is probably the best degree for me to get. Until I took a Communication Studies class and really want to change my major (again) but then I was strongly advice not to pursue such a path because I didn't have enough time to complete all the requirements.

And beside, I'm taking a bunch of classes that I want, so it really doesn't matter. Speaking of which, I love my classes this quarter. My English teacher this quarter already seem much more capable of teaching student than my last teacher was. The professor last quarter was very bright, and young, and fashionable but his lectures always felt just out of reach for me.

And this quarter's professor seem to be more interested in making his lectures more accessible to the students. He seems to care about at least presenting the information in a comprehendable way. I sat through every lecture but one (because I locked my keys in my car) last quarter and couldn't really tell you exactly what the professor's main point were and I sure in hell could tell you what I was supposed to learn.

Now, it's much more easier. I know exactly what the teacher is talking about. And even though his much older, not fashionable at all, and has a sharp wit about him, he can teach me. and that's all that matter. And besides my T.A. is young, slightly fashionable, and eager to teach.

I'm a good girl just waiting to learn.

[I'm going to end on that point; some what edited]

Things I Cannot Live Without: Pampering

2007-04-08T10:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, after studying for about 3 hours, I treated myself to a Retail Therapy (RT) session. I realize that a lot of guys may not understand the concept of RT. Most women, I would guess, understand this concept very well. It's the therapeutic use of shopping to enhance ones mood. I'm sure guys do this too but instead of buying purses, shoes, clothes, makeup, etc. They probably buy manly things like toys, audio/visual, sports stuff, etc.

[side note on literary issues: I don't know if the possessive pronoun of "one" is spelled o-n-e-s or o-n-e-'-s. It seems like "one's" could be easily confused for "one is" and I know possessive pronouns do not use apostrophes, such as "its" or "ours". But the pronoun 'one' confuses me. Side note ending.]

Before going shopping, I promised myself I wouldn't worry about anything while out on my shopping spree. I managed for the most part to refocus my attention whenever my mind would wonder to worrying about life's little worries. I tried to stay in the moment and really experience what was happening as it was happening. I think I did pretty well.

I managed to spend very little money (less than $100 on clothes) and came home with about 7 different items. Most of the items I will love wearing on a regular basis. In fact, I'm going to wear three of the garments today....yay!

And the RT really did positively impact my mood. So much so that, instead of going out last night with the guys or going to a party with Sexy Sharon [posts about Sexy Sharon can be found here, and here], I stayed home and pampered myself further. I took a long, warm shower and fantasized about my ideal shower.

[Side note: A wise man once told me that the only reason he makes a lot of money is so he could take care of his loved ones. I realize now that it was a DHV and demonstration of the alpha male quality, "takes care of loved ones". Side note ending]

Before getting out of the shower, I left some special product in my hair to help condition it. And once out of the shower, I put eye cream and face cream on. I got into my most comfortable clothes and did some relaxation exercises. It felt great. And I feel great. My face is smooth, my hair is soft, and I am glowing with happiness.

Now, I have to get back to studying before I waste the whole day blogging.

A comment from a reader and my response

2007-04-08T07:08:00.000-07:00

"Do you have intentions to use what you learned studying male pickup to attract or get men into your life? And if so would you be interested in getting together with other females who want the same?

2. I recently joined a community with a mission statement to change the world, if you're interested in getting a start on saving the world PM me (Schizo on StyleLife forum) with your email address and I'll send you an invite :D" ~Schizo

Hey Schizo,

It's great to hear from you again. I really enjoyed your input on my CommStu project.

As far as my personal relationship goals are concerned, I'm finding it very difficult to date right now for several different reasons. Two main reasons are school and my heart.

My school takes up a lot of time and when I get into relationships I want to be the best "lover"/girlfriend I can be and that's time consuming in itself.

And as far as my heart is concerned, it doesn't seem to understand how this all works and it has a mind of its own. I will definitely use the skills that I'm continuing to learn to gain friendships and other relationships.

Having just moved to a new large city, I find myself struggling to create and maintain friendships. I feel like the skills I'm learning are going to help me be more social and outgoing and cultivate meaningful relationships.

But for right now, it difficult to think about anyone (romantically/sexually) but the last guy I was dating. Even though I know logically it's not going to work out with him, my heart keeps hoping for something it's never going to get (from him), love. I could literally be with probably half-a-dozen other men right now but all my heart wants is him (trust me I've tried to convince it otherwise...it's just going to take time).

But enough about that right now. One major reason that I became interested in this community was because I was a part of a (very) small group of women that were trying to figure out why we were all beautiful, talented, intelligent, some-what successful, and all struggling with relationships. There were probably 6 of us to start with and two dropped out, one got married, one has a boyfriend, and there are still 2 of us struggling, me and Sexy Sharon (I posted about her here).

Sexy Sharon (who is truly sexy) started this "private" group online on Fourth of July two years ago. We were supposed to be reclaiming our independence. She read a bunch of books (The Rules, Mr. Right, Right Now, etc). We were doing our own social experiments with the guys we were dating.

It worked well for the two women currently in relationships (that marriage came about in part because of our group's efforts). But Sexy Sharon and I still are struggling to find what we're looking for. And if I could help be a part of Sexy Sharon finding a meaningful relationship and love, I would be very happy. She deserves it. We all do.

I would love to work on the female version of The Mystery Method. That's one reason I'm so interested in this group is because I want to help other females. My younger brother told me that Style is looking to create a female version of the Game and he's currently looking for females to help him with this project. As interesting as that sounds, and with nothing personal against Style, I would much rather be involved with TMM than with any other organization at this point.

I have my own apprehensions about meeting gurus and other master PUAs in the community. I really enjoy seeing my newbie friends in the field or just talking about this stuff with people who know about it but GURUs (that I've never met) are a whole other game (pun intended). Besides, I do NOT want to be nose raped. And if Style ever put his fingers in my nose, I'd be pissed off to the point of the possibility of prison (I would show Style that rape of any kind is not a matter to play around with or joke about....PERIOD).

I'm very interested in changing the world for the better. I'm not sure how much time I have to be involved in a group right now, though. As I mentioned before, I'm very focused on my education currently and that is (besides myself) one of my biggest priorities at the moment. My free time should be a little more free in about 10 weeks, when summer break begins. I'm hoping not to have to go to school during the summer and my major goal for the summer is to write and write often (because I want to be a writer when I finally grow up).

It's Always Better When We're Together by Jack Johnson

2007-04-07T22:13:00.000-07:00

Song lyrics

[Verse 1:]
There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard,
No song that I could sing
But I can try for your heart,
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things,
Like a shoebox of photographs,
With sepiatone loving,
Love is the answer
At least for most of the questions in my heart ,
Like why are we here? And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy,
And sometimes life can be deceiving,
I'll tell you one thing, its always better when we're together

[Chorus:]
MMM, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, we'll look at the stars when we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

[Verse 2:]
And all of these moments
Just might find their way into my dreams tonight
But I know that they'll be gone,
When the morning light sings
And brings new things,
But tomorrow night you see
That they'll be gone too,
Too many things I have to do,
But if all of these dreams might find their way
Into my day to day scene
I'll be under the impression,
I was somewhere in-between
With only two,
Just me and you
Not so many things we got to do,
Or places we got to be
We'll sit beneath the mango tree now

Yeah, it's always better when we're together
MMM, We're somewhere in-between together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

Mmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmm
I believe in memories
They look so, so pretty when I sleep
Hey now, and when, and when I wake up,
You look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time,
And there is no, no song I could sing
And there is no combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing,
We're better together

google does have a sense of humor

2007-04-05T12:37:00.000-07:00

type "failure" into google and see how clever it can be.

Wow...I just got the best compliment ever!

2007-04-05T08:29:00.000-07:00

And no, it was not given to me by a PUA. It was given to me by one of my new professors this quarter. I took a class with her husband last quarter and now I'm taking a class with her and her husband this quarter. I guess I left an impression on her husband. This is what she said in response to an email I sent her:

"I like your enthusiasm. We will use you as [a class participant]. That's great that you will write extra [writings for class]. I'm sure we will be able to use them. The class depends on the [student writings]. Dee [her husband] raves about you so I look forward to seeing more of your work.

Best,"

Awwwww....I feel so happy right now. Yay! Now, I actually have to perform the tasks for the class. I'm so excited about this class. I hope it continues to be as good as it has been this first week.

Ramblings on the Radio

2007-04-04T23:32:00.000-07:00

Radio Explained:

This story or segment is a lousy attempt to explain an inside joke between me and He Who is Him or Him Who is He (HWH). That's the new nickname of the guy I dated haphazardly since I moved to L.A. about 6 months ago. Unfortunately, our relationship is no longer what is was. But that's beside the point, which is that HWH ended up nicknaming me "radio". And for whatever reason, I grew fond of it.

He first called me this when I was very under-the-influence of my favorite medicine (see guilty pleasures, if you don't know what sort of medicine I'm talking about). While under-the-influence I (like most people) become very talkative. But I think I'm a little unique in my talkativeness, because I could virtually talk and talk and talk and it's very much like stream of consciousness.

HWH said on more than one occasion that he could practically "see" my train of thought. I'm assuming he is a visual person because he's a man, and he told me most men are visual. And he also made a comment right after meeting me about how I "must" be visual because I say "see" and I look up and two the right when I talk (but I sorta assumed that was some sort of chick-crack thing he was using on me). Anyways, this too is beside the point.

The point is, I can verbally express what is occurring in my mind (as thoughts, words, and sometimes images) as it is happening. And all I need is an audience. And thankfully for the audience, he doesn't really have to listen to what I'm saying but he can if it is more entertaining than what's being projected on the television or if he can practice guitar while I'm rambling on.

This phenomena is similar to how a radio functions because: a radio is primarily audio but still tries to create images with words (and sounds); radios doesn't require the audience to actually listen or participate with the audio; Radios hardly play the same thing for very long; and radios can be set on scan, so that the actual station changes in intervals automatically.

When I'm stoned, I'm very similar to that in the fact that: I primarily talk but I use my words and my gestures to create images; I don't require him to listen; He doesn't have to listen or participate, either, but it's always funner when he does; I change topics as quickly as they enter and exit my mind; and some times I change "stations" when my train of thought takes a new track (or thread as the puas like to call it).

I realize that this sort of weed-induced talkativeness is not uniquely my own characteristic. I'm under no delusions that this sort of behavior is common amongst those that partake of the green goodness. I have actually witnessed these symptoms first hand in second-hand situations. In fact, I have used the term "radio" to refer to HWH's mom and one of his best friends. I doubt his mom was actually under the influence of anything when she was talkative but I know for a fact his friend was, when his was accused of being a radio.

Anyhoo, now all those that read my blog know roughly the origins of the "radio" references I've made in my blog thus far. I guess the reason I'm mentioning it s much here is because I can't really keep making the inside joke with HWH because we don't really communicate much any more, which is my fault in some ways.

But I'm so busy right now, I've hardly thought about it much. I guess it's best to focus on school and not worry about something that can't be changed.

I LOVE MY SCHOOL

So speaking of school, I love it. Everyday I go to campus, I'm so thankful for being able to attend that university and I been take advantage of as many resources as I'm able to take advantage of because I'm a student.

I don't want to give out too much information about my personal life and I definitely do NOT want to jeopardized my safety but putting identifiable information on this blog. So, I'm not going to be posting too much info about my school but I have to at least mention it because it's such a HUGE part of my life right now.

And I love my school.

I love the campus. It's beautiful. I love seeing younger students visiting our campus. Twice I've seen students that had to be in pre-school or maybe kindergarten. I only say that they must have been that young because the average height of the students was probably shorter than my waist is high. And for those that know me, my waist isn't that high. And those students (which I saw today visiting our campus) look very young. They were carrying their lunch boxes and some of the lunch boxes seems to be roughly the size of some of their upper torsos.

I have no idea why students that young would be visiting our campus. I don't remember visiting a university campus (EVER) before I was enrolled in junior college.

Regardless the reason, I think it's cool to see those little people walking around enjoying our campus. I assume it has a positive impact on some of them, although, when they are that young I'm not sure.

But I do love seeing middle school and high school kids on our campus also. Especially, if those students appear to be "inner-city students".

THE RACE CARD

I know this may sound weird, but I find race relations and class distinctions/seperations in L.A. (and especially on my campus) to be very different from what I'm used to. It's sorta puzzled me since I've moved here (roughly 6 months ago).

I haven't exactly been able to specifically pin point what about it makes me feel this way but there is definitely something unfamiliar to me about the way non-visual racial and class lines are adhered to in L.A.

I'm not exactly sure if others feel this way and I assume that people from different areas of the country and the world probably think that L.A. is very diverse, which I would agree it is. However, just because there are a lot of different types of people represented in the populace of this city, doesn't mean that these types intermingle outside of formal settings.

It's weird to me. I can figuratively see segments of people who are most alike clustered together around campus and around this city. Examples: At school many of the workers (including student workers, maintenance workers, etc) are minorities (most of the time); Same is true for bank tellers, cashiers, valet parkers, car service/limo drivers, bus drivers, etc around town.

There are distinct hidden-class line. I've gone into parts of L.A. where the only minorities were paid employees (and I doubt they are being paid well enough). And I've been to areas of L.A. where I was the only white face amongst many shoppers.

Being the only white person in a group of minorities isn't particularly odd to me. I can think of many occasions where this has been the case in my past. However, the expressions and reactions to me by those minorities in L.A. was very unique to me.

STARING

People have been known to stare at me, which I find particularly odd, so I ignore a great deal of people's glances and stares because I don't want to be overly concerned with people staring at me.

I've had several friends comment the fact that people stare at me and I've noticed it myself. I am not exactly sure what the reasons are for people staring but sometimes it's because I'm the only Caucasian in a particular location or sometimes it's because I dress outlandishly. My reaction to people staring at me in the past has been to just ignore it and avoid eye contact.

Which is probably more counterproductive, so lately I've been trying to make eye contact and smile. However, some guys see smiling as a invitation and most of the time, I'm not really inviting anyone to anything, most of the time I'm just trying to be polite.

But I've notice this subject has quickly derailed, who knows where it will go now.

I've realized that if people are staring and you make eye contact with them, they general stop staring.

Staring seems to be a particular problem in L.A. too. And I figured it's because there are celebrities here and everyone's dying to see some star somewhere. I've noticed when people stare in L.A. they are generally trying to get a look at ones face. And I figure that's because they want to know if the person they are staring at is a star or not.

I've caught myself doing this myself. I look at someone in the face of a passing care because I think they may look familiar or may be someone I recognize. But I really don't know that many celebrities by face so, I don't spend much time doing this. And when they see me looking, I usually look away after I realize that I've been staring at someone who doesn't really appear to be a star anyways.

ROBIN WILLIAMS

It's funny my mind just started to wonder to a memory about a time that I worked in the Bay Area at a computer store and I thought my customer reminded me a lot of Robin Williams. I mentioned it to him and his son (or the younger boy that was with him) started to say something and the man stopped him from saying whatever he was about to say to me.

I don't really think that guy was Robin Williams, mostly, because I'm sure I would totally recognize Robin Williams if he was in front of me, since I'm a huge fan. But I've often wondered if it was his brother or something.

And I also think it's funny because I did actually see Robin Williams walking down the street in San Francisco years later but I almost didn't see him but my friend pointed him out as he rushed by us. That was definitely Robin Williams.

MY ARMS HURT

I was hoping to write more but my arms are starting to hurt...so I'm going to give them a rest for now.

And in the tradition of this radio program, I'm going to leave this blog unedited or proofread until further notice. I can't really make correction right now. [some what edited now]

Good night. And if you're not sleeping next to the one you love, may they find a way into your arms soon. Sweet dreams.

tears are like throw-up

2007-04-04T11:46:00.000-07:00

What I learned in class today and how it applies to the seduction community:

"Tears are like throw-up. When you see someone doing it [crying or throwing up or any number of emotions], you want to do it yourself."

Women are socially empathetic and emotive (side note: the word emo comes from the word emotive or the ability to express emotions).

If a pick-up artist can empathetically make a girl feel strong (hopefully positive) emotions by being emotive he can build comfort with that girl.

I think this is sorta what break-through comfort is based largely off of but I'm not that familiar with break-through comfort (yet), so I could be wrong.

I'll have to write more when I have more time. And I'll have to finish reading Magic Bullets to understand break-through comfort more.

I almost forgot about wit (preview)

2007-04-04T11:40:00.000-07:00

Wit is the ability to find similiarities between seemingly different things.

I love wit and I love parallels too!

Judgement is the ability to find differences between seemingly similar things.

I'll write more when I have some free time.

Grades and what I want to be when I grow up (preview)

2007-04-04T11:36:00.000-07:00

I don't have a lot of time right now because I really should be studying.

GRADES

I got an A+, and B-, and B- last quarter that's a 3.1 according to the school website. My overall GPA is 3.127 (or something insane like that). I would love to be a 4.0 student but I'm struggling just to keep my grades as they are. Better luck next time, right?

RHETORICIAN

I want to be a rhetorician when I grow up. Thank you. Stay tuned for more randomness.

More randomness

2007-03-30T12:07:00.000-07:00

This blog post is going to be about a bunch of different stuff. I have so much I want to document but I don't have much time. I have a brief moment before running off to a weekend of camping. I'm so excited; I haven't been camping in many years. I have very fond memories of camping from growing up. In fact, I was camping when my younger brother was born.

Speaking of which, my younger brother (whom I saw this week on my return home for spring break) is the inspiration of my first random rambling.

THINGS I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT: IRONY

In the last few years I've grown to appreciate irony more than I ever have before. So I found it very ironic that when I saw my younger brother this week he had a beard. Especially considering my recent pos t on the subject of hairy men. I'll write more about irony later.

THINGS I MISS ABOUT HOME: FAMILY/FRIENDS

I really missing being in the bay area. Everything is so familiar to me. I know how to get around and short cuts. I've spent the majority of my life there and when I went back I realized how much I miss it. I really miss my family. My Mom, my younger brother, my younger sister and her family.

It was my youngest nephew's birthday and we celebrated with a BBQ. It was awesome to see my nephews. I love those boys so much. I consider myself blessed because I was able to see both of them born and now I've been to both of their first birthday parties.

My brother and I were also able to take the oldest nephew to see TMNT. This was pretty cool because my younger brother used to be a big TMNT fan when he was younger. And I used to take my nephew out every week to do fun stuff with him before I got so busy with school.

My friends are awesome too. I wasn't able to see everyone but I did see my closest friends. We enjoyed a crab feed, dim sum, a bed and breakfast, and Chinese food while watching videos. I'll write more later.

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT LA: LESS DRIVING

Speaking of irony, it's ironic that I drive less now that I live in LA. In the bay area I lived about 50 miles from SF (or at least from the Mission District) and spent a great deal of time commuting. Now, that I'm in LA, I drive considerable less. It's pretty ironic to me.

THINGS I LIKE THAT PUAS DO: ROLE PLAYING, QUALIFYING V.2, IDENTITY, and FRAMES.

I'll have to write about this later. I'm running out of time right now.

THE CUBE:

I feel disappointed I never got the cube routine used on me by my favorite pua...ugh. Oh well such is it.

I'll write more later and reply to the comments when I have more time. Take care and stay tuned to the only radio that doesn't actually make audible noise.

Happy Equinox day

2007-03-21T11:22:00.000-07:00

So today is March 21 and that means the day is just as long as the night or the night is just as short as the day or something like that. It only happens twice a year and it's happening today. From here until September 21, the days will be longer than the nights. I am sure my explanation is extremely oversimplified but it doesn't matter.

Back to studying for my communication studies final and writing my last 30 page paper that is due tomorrow.

Things I can live without: hairy men

2007-03-21T09:00:00.000-07:00

I know it's a huge trend right now but I do NOT like it. This blog was prompted by one of Sinn's resent blog posts and the comments left by other men. I'd leave a comment on his blog but that's his playground and this is mine.

Sinn is very fashionable. He gets it. He understands the importance of staying well groomed even if it's time consuming or painful. Women do it all the time and they can appreciate when a guy does it some of the time. And besides I hate all that hair anyways.

I hate these shaggy beards that are so popular. I don't know one guy who looks better with a beard, not one (unless he's ugly then maybe he looks better covered by hair). Some chicks dig it, well I guess that's cool but this is my blog and I say SHAVE IT ALREADY.

excess hair is gross, it traps bacteria, and stinks. Remove it from you brow, your jaw line, your back, your chest, your "package" area, from everywhere besides your head. And if you have long hair, cut that shit too. Long hair looks awful on most men. If you look like you're in an 80's heavy metal band you look outdated and socially clueless.

Some facial hair is ok. It depends on the guy or on the design. But I still think less is more. I'd rather see a handsome face than see it buried under a bunch of hair. If a guys has a beard, I assume he's either lazy or he's insecure. Either way, not worth my time.

But I notice guys usually wait until you've been dating them for a while then they slowly start to shave less. That's not cool. How would you like it if I did that to you. Or better yet, how would you like it if I cut my hair ultra short after we've been dating for a little while. Not cool, right? Than do me a favor and remove it.

I spend a great deal of time removing excess hair, so I don't want to hear any guy complain that it takes too much time. Buck up and grab the razor.

I don't want to hear the evolutionary defense that if women didn't like it humans would have been extinct by now because men didn't have razors in the olden days. Women didn't have razors either back then, now we do. And I can't believe there is any man who would like a hairy chick over her non-hairy counterpart. Or wait, do you think this is one of those things you can have a double standard about? I don't think so. You want a girl to shave her legs, keep her pussy hair trimmed and removed excess hair from her upper lip, than you should be kind enough to do the equivalent.

I don't want to hear any of this "We didn't make the world; We only live in it" bullshit. You live in it and therefore you contribute to it. Perpetuating double standards is just as bad as creating them. So make an appointment with the threader or waxer today.

And as far as people calling Sinn a wussy, I'd have to say compare the results. Who's pulling home more chicks consistently? The well-groomed guy or his hairy counterpart? Being a wussy is being effected by manly peer pressure instead of doing what works to bringing home the ladies. Remember what's attractive is being the leader of men....not being the follower of them. And if you shave, you're preselected by me, so there's two attraction switches flipped for shaving and not listening to other men (who probably bring home less women).

Ok, enough about my hair rant....shave damnit.

Things I Cannot Live Without: LOVE

2007-03-20T19:27:00.000-07:00

I love love. I'm a hopeless romantic. In the worst kind of way. I idealize everything. I see the world with a child-like naiveté. And it keeps getting me into trouble. I'm not sure how I made it this far with such an quixotic outlook on life.

I want to believe the world is the way I was told it was; the way we tell our children it is. I want to believe all the lies I've been told. Lies about love, hate, America, the world, people, religion, history, truth, the future, dating, justice, sex, hope, responsibility, promises, prayers, relationships, drugs, and whatever else we've been lied to about. But in particular love.

So tonight's radio broadcast is going to be about love and somethings I really love.

MUSIC

I love music. It's be a huge part of my life and I relate things to music. I love music so much that I have to limit the amount of music I am exposed to because I feel guilty for not giving my music enough love already. But I am not musical. I can't singer or play an instrument. I just love hearing music. I love lyrics best. I love lyrics that tell stories or make me feel like how I feel is articulated in an audio translation. I've got a thing for hearing voices and listening to music can heighten my sexual experience easily. Most of my closest friends and ex-lovers have been musicians or consumed by some aspect of music. It's how I categorize my memories, emotions, and hopes. It's probably a good thing that I don't have an ipod; if I had one I might
not ever pay attention to anyone or anything around me. I'd be lost in my own head for hours. I write to music and want the things that I write reflective of my love for music. I've been asking friends and lovers to make me mixed c.d.s for years. It started with Jealous Jason. I've gotten introduced to my favorite music by someone I've loved or admired. Some themes I've received over the years: angel songs, slow & mellow songs, songs sung by females, one hit wonders, love songs, sex songs, madona & michael jackson, I'm sorta crazy songs, etc. I can listen to a song with good lyrics over and over and over again. I can listen to mixed c.d.s repeatedly and go for months without changing the mix c.d. in my car stereo. Music is playing right now in the back ground. I make play lists based of my writing projects. I assign people songs, usually guys I am dating. He who is him (HWH) is assigned the song, "Blue Eyes" that I posted previously; or he's "Wish you were here" by pinkfloyd. Jealous Jason is song has been "You oughta know" by Alanis Morrisette. Bass Bob is "Her middle name is boom" by Glassjaw. "Angel" for a different ex-boyfriend because he told me that song was about heroin and since he was an ex-user (I believed him...remembering I am starry-eyed). I am not going to post a bunch of lyrics on this post, because it would just take up too much room but I'll list a few songs that I've been listening today. I love "Fidelity" by Regina Spektor and I love the video. I'd say she capture I sentiment that I often have very well and I love the color at the end of that video. I love music and lyrics (the movie and otherwise). I love the Presidents of the United States of America. I love when he sings to me while playing guitar. I'll miss that. I've thought of movie ideas based off of song lyrics. "White Wedding Dress" by boysetsfire. I love concerts. "I Need Two Girls if I can't have you". I think that's enough about how much I love music.

MOVIES

I love movies. I can't believe The Teenage Mutant Turtles is going to be a new movie. Ohmigawd! I love romantic comedies. I wish I could see more movies. It seems like I watch less movies since I've moved to L.A. I own nearly no d.v.d.s Exccpt for Amelie, American Beauty, The Story of Us, EverAfter, What Dreams may Come, and Pay it forward. I love watching little kid movies in the theatre at night when no one else is there. I love snuggling up with a guy during scary movies. I love crying at movies. I've only walked out of a movie once because I was too disturbed, in Boys Don't Cry. I love movies with life lessons. I love pornos, even though they are not movies and I don't own any. I love Jackie Chan movies. I love City of Lost Children. I love movies with great music. I love movie posters.

I should be writing right now...maybe, I'll continue this post later.

[unedited]

Customized t-shirt sayings I want made

2007-03-18T21:09:00.000-07:00

~ Don't neg me.
~Unplowable
~Dude, go reframe.
~ You can peacock better than that.
~ Social Proof
~ Pivots have more fun.
~ Wing Woman (on the front). [with little angel wings on the back] (on the back)
~ That was not cocky or funny.
~ Considered this a take-away (on the back).
~ My brother has more game than you.
~ Have you seen Michelle?
~ Comfort comes after attraction.
~ I just saw your twin. (written in text message font)
~ I don't thumb wrestle.
~ Is this thread ever going to end?
~ Next stack please.
~ You can't control my frame.
~ You and I would never get a long.
~ There's a 3 second rule for a reason.
~ That's not a DHV.
~ Find. Meet. Attraction. Make him commit.
~ This is not a shit test.
~ No AFCs allowed, please.
~ Don't make me use my bitch shield on you.
~ This is not LMR.
~ You rock because you like Cold Case. You suck because you don't smoke joints.
Or
~ You rock because you ___________. You suck because you _____________.
~ I am a radio.

P.S.
I almost forgot:
~ Go kino yourself.

5 things I like that PUAs do

2007-03-18T00:11:00.000-07:00

I don't know how to introduce this piece. I've got so many thoughts buzzing around my head, it's hard to see the metaphorical tree through the satirical forest. Except for the trees are thought whizzing by as if I was a symbolic skier racing down a tree covered mountain. I am continuously getting smacked in the face with the branches from said trees.

Or another allegory, a wise man once say; I am a radio. The thoughts streaming through my head are the radio wave, my mind is the transceiver, and my mouth is the obnoxiously loud speaking blasting the ever changing station in my head, maryjane is the electricity that fuels this chaos. It's even harder to express this in written form. See verbally it's different, the audio that comes out of my mouth is so natural. The wise man, that was mentioned before (we'll call him: "He who is him" or "Him who is he": HWH for short)* So, anyhoo, HWH used to say he could practically see my train of thought. That's when HWH came up with "You're a radio". So now it's an inside joke. You-had-to-be-there sort of thing, ya know?

Oh well, so if this doesn't make sense to you; don't worry. It's not supposed to. You should only worry if this is crystal clear to you.

This is my defense of the seduction community (and this should help people understand my reasoning or support of this group of guys).

* This is the best way I can describe him who is he. Trust me if I had a better why I'd use it but It's hard to name all that he embodies.

1. inner game
"Learning's golden gifts" ~ "Dr. Faustus" by Christopher Marlowe

I have yet to find a definition for inner game. It's basically an multi-variant and interdisciplinary set of self-awareness knowledge structure or latter or what I like to call rhizome. "Rhizomatic" isn't a real word (yet) but it's a philosophy or theory. You'll have to look it up to figure out what i it really means. I'm going to use the concept as best I understand it to explain some thing, the way I see them.

Rhizome means that there is no one true base or root; it's not like a tree. A tree grows from one set of roots, if you damage those roots enough the whole tree will be damage and all parts of the tree come from that single root system. Rhizomes roots are complex system; it's more like grass. This probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense so I'll move on. No need to further complicate an already complicated concept by butchering it.

If inner game takes on rhizomatic features. It basically means there are many different roots (subficial...is this even a word? I'm using words that don't exist in the dictionary)** Inter game isn't just one thing or it doesn't just root from one base or one source. It's multi variant and multi equative (shit another word that doesn't exist in the dictionary...it's hard to write what I mean when words fail to express what my thoughts truly represent...I don't know what the point of mastering language is if it can express what's really going on in my mind?).

I believe everything is rhizomatic; love, life, sex, thoughts, memories, relationships, ideas, behaviors, actions, language, art, etc. Not to mention, inner game.

I believe to some degree all human beings are striving to effect some aspect of inner game in their life, regardless of they are pick-up artists, or everyone else. The pick-up artists are just more systematic and thorough about it (or at least they strive to be). And this is one thing I like about them. They are pushing themselves and ultimately the evolution envelope further and they brings the rest of us along with them, even if we are kicking and screaming the whole way there.

When one person focusing on making themselves better it has a profound effect not only in the life of the one doing it but in the lives of those surrounding that person striving to be a better person. You get enough people doing this and suddenly there's a shift towards improvement in so many different areas. I wish I could be more specific or give more examples but I'm having a hard time.

It's a complicated concepts and it's not easy to explain without simplifying it to the point of altering it. I believe this is how many of the PUA concepts are though. That's why it's so difficult to understand, master, and teach. That's why I admire those that can do anyone of those; not to mention, someone who can do all three of those. It amazes me. If I really think about it, my thoughts and emotions get overwhelming. It scares me how intense this stuff can be.

I'd love to learn what the PUAs know about inner game and be able to apply it to my life and see what if any effect it has on me, my life, and those around me. And then I wonder if it can be taught to or beneficial to other women.

I've notice I'm fascinated with parallels and I'm dying to discover, theorize, or connect the parallels between what the PUAs have already learned and it's female equivalent.

So inner game is something I like about the PUAs. I am not going to keep going, I think it's pretty clear what I mean. Plus I am getting tired and have 4 more sections to write. This may have to be segmented blog post. I'm not sure how much more I can write.

**roots and underground grass grows and trunks of trees grow above ground. Roots represent the inner part, the grass represents the surface level manifestation of what's happening below the surface (subficial)

2. calibrations/microcalibration

Calibrations is another amazing concept that blows my mind. It reminds me of what good actors do or it reminds me of one of Sinn's recent blog posts (I can't believe how insanely knowledgeable that guy is).

I studied theatre for three years and 2 of those years was spent learning under one of the best teachers I've ever had, and probably one of the better acting teachers. That latter part probably can't be proven. He rigorously taught countless students at junior college the method acting style.

Much of it was lost on me. I wish I could have had 3 more years studying with him but I was clueless at the time and didn't make the most out of it and now he's retired.

Anyhoo, the concept of calibration remind me of the work we were doing in intermediate and advanced acting. It's call being in the "moment" or "checking in". And it relied heavily on responding to what is happening at any given moment on stage. It's not about pretending. It's not about acting or displaying or faking. It's about relating to the other person on stage and reacting to what they are giving to you. It's actually very difficult to do this but when done well it's amazing to watch and be a part of.

This is what PUAs do with women (if they are good). They take when she says, an expression on her face, a change in body language, a tonality alteration, an eye shift, of glance or any subtle reaction and they use that knowledge to proceed.

The most basic part to this would be IOIs or IODs and the PUAs response to them.

You can't calibrate if you're not paying attention, if you're not focused. You can make you're next move if you can't see what move she just made. It's like playing chess blind. Only I've never played chess, so maybe that's not the best example. But I am blind; literally I am legally blind in my right eye; but figuratively I am pretty blind in other ways too. So, I am fairly confident in my the blind metaphor of the example....moving on:

So, I basically like calibration.

3. Disqualifiers

This is gold to me. If you don't get or understand this concept, your game may be less than what it can be. PERIOD. I can't explain why it's so powerful but I know it works. and I know it works and many different levels. It's an art within itself to master.

4. understanding the opposite sex
"Sporting in the dalliance of love." Dr. Faustus by Christopher Marlowe

My biggest sticking point is understanding men. PERIOD.

I'm starting to recognize a pattern of behavior that I display that is probably very off putting to the men I date.  I

"Its not until we try to understand the opposite
sex that we can start having real success with
them." Joseph Mathews.

If there was an e-book on this concept I'd buy it in a heartbeat, and I'd pay what it's worth too. This is definitely an area where the PUAs have us girls out foxed. PUAs know so much about women it's almost ridiculous. I've learned more about myself from guys than I think I've learned on my own. Guys seems to see things about me that I'm figuratively blind to. And they have this great analytical way of expressing it or a whole different perspective to understanding it. I wish I understood myself completely and I wish I understood men enough to deal with them better.

[I'm tired...I'm going to leave this blog unedited and incomplete. I know I'm leaving social capital unwritten about again, but it's such a huge concept to tackle and I'm exhausted, I can't really function beyond this point. And no one really reads my blog, so I think it can wait until I am more coherent. and when my eyes don't hurt from being so emotional. and when it's not nearly 2 am...I know that the time stamped on this blog is going to be the time I started writing this but that was a long time ago...it's 1:42am now...)

5. Social capital

I feel awful

2007-03-17T17:50:00.000-07:00

I hurt someone I really care about and broke his trust more than once. I'm not proud of what I've done or happy where it's gotten me. I know I should think positive (and I will) but at the same time I just need to deal with what I've done. And I've done something awful so I am dealing with the effects of that and it makes me feel awful.

I want to be a person of my word and I want to help and I want to do things I am proud of and that people can be proud of me for doing. I want to be strong and happy and in love.

This song makes me happy:

Artist: Cary Brothers Lyrics
Song: Blue Eyes Lyrics

Wish enough, wise man'll tell you a lie
Window broke, torn up screens
Who'd have thought that you'd dream
Of a single tragic scene

I just wanna sing a song with you
I just want to take it off of you

Cause Blue Eyes
You are all that I need
Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the sweet to my mean

Fess it up, dot on the palm of your hand
I can help you to stand
Saved it up for this dance
Tell me all the things you can

I just wanna sing a song with you
I just wanna be the one that's true

Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the secret I keep
Cause Blue Eyes

All the lights on and you are alive
But you can't point the way to your heart
So sublime, when the stars are aligned
But you don't know
You don't know the greatness you are

Cause Blue Eyes
You are destiny's scene
Cause Blue Eyes
I just wanna be the one

I just wanna sing a song with you
I just wanna get it on with you

Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the secret I keep
Cause Blue Eyes
I just wanna sing a song with you…

It's been a long day and an even longer week

2007-03-16T22:10:00.000-07:00

I don't want to dwell on the negative so I won't. So I'll dwell on the positive. Although, today has been a long day, it's been a productive day. I got a lot of things done.

I got up early to to proof read my Communications studies project one more time before going to school early enough to get it printed before class. I proof read and edited my paper again. Made some adjustments and had a lovely bus ride to school.

The computer lab was open and I started to print my project section by section, title page, project, reference page, appendix content sheet, and the 5 parts to the appendix. By the time I was done printing it, I had probably about 40 pages to turn in. I had to staple it into two sections, my 18 pages that I created and the 20 odd pages to the appendix.

I was happy. I felt like I really accomplished something. It wasn't perfect but it was clean and crisp. I felt like I met the assignment requirements well. I'd been working on this for weeks, when I know some students started their paper last night. It felt exciting. Like I gave it everything I could, time, energy, effort, dedication, persistence, and I was proud.

My teacher said no one ever asked him to the do this subject before. I have been working with him for the last 10 weeks to make sure I was doing it properly and even though I think he'll find areas for improvement. I feel like I met most of his requirements.

Every time I've met him he's given me feedback and helped me sculpt this into a better project. He kept me focused and guided me well through the project. He pushed me and challenged me to do something, I've never done before and it felt great.

I've never done anything like this before. I've known for years that I've been interested in social sciences and scientific research into social and gender dynamics. Especially in regards to dating and sex.

I saw that movie Kinsey with the guy I was dating at the time and I was fascinated by it. I think that would be a cool job to have, sex scientist. And that movie was so well written. I loved the way the story devises were used. The question section adding to the narrative. The interweaving of the two parts. I remember just loving the writing and the editing and the acting. It was great.

But I've always (or at least for many years) been interested into television shows that discussed the science of love, sex, and/or dating. Even if they are reality based and that aren't necessarily written creatively but definitely well and some what witty at times.

I've never really been that great at sciences like biology, or chemistry, or the such. In fact, the sciences that I have taken in college have been either the physical sciences (geology, anthropology, etc) and social sciences (psychology, etc). I really like the social sciences, especially this communication studies class.

I sorta wish I could be a communication studies major, but I can't it's too late. It's an impacted major and I'd don't have enough time to go back and take all of the requirements and graduate in the amount of time they require me to. I wish I did. And I wish they weren't so eager to push me through to graduation.

I really like school and I love being there on campus learning. I sorta wish I could be a student forever. I just love being around the thriving learning environment. It's has a strong vibe to it.

My professor told me some of the research he's working on and it all sounds so interesting. Studying imagination and trying to prove the current theory wrong or proving your own theory. There's all kinds of research available, it's just too bad I am an English major.

I guess there's nothing stopping me from being an English major and assisting in other departmental research or outside classroom learning. But it's time consuming to be a full time student.

I was away from home for 12 hours today. And most of that time was spend doing something that had to do with the classes I am currently taking.

After I turned in my Communication Studies project, I went to edit and print another paper that was do 2 hours after I had turned in my commstu project. But my second paper was an English paper. It's funny, how difficult I find my own major.

I've also been working on this English paper for several weeks. I'm not as proud of that paper, so I am not going to post it. The topic I choose was Faustus. And I struggled to come up with a thesis. I came up with great ideas and interesting observations about the text but I struggled immensely with formulating a proper thesis for the things I was observing.

I saw my T.A. 5 times about the paper in the last two weeks. I probably emailed him more than twice that many times. I also saw my teacher twice and probably emailed him about the same amount of times that I emailed my T.A. I am sure both of them were happy that the papers were do today. It meant they wouldn't be hearing from me about the satirical parallels in Dr. Faustus by Christopher Marlowe.

So I turned in the paper at 1pm and sat through a lecture about Books 11 & 12 in Paradise Lost. Before grabbing my first real bite to eat all day and checking my voicemail to find out that one of my girlfriends was dumped last night. So I spent part of my lunch trying to help her feel better.

Today must have been a female energized day because I got about half a dozen calls from females in my life today.

My girlfriend that lives in L.A. was calling to give the weekly run down of weekend happenings. While updating me on her love life and most recent exploits.

My mom called to confirm my flight information, since I text message her this morning "Oh Shit, I just realized I have a final Friday 2-23 in the morning, I can't fly out until Saturday."

Then I spent an hour in a very haphazard discussion section that was supposed to help us with the preparing for the final. My T.A. is a nice guy (and I hate to use that word) but he's pretty clueless when it comes to actually facilitating the learning process. And I have no doubt that he needs to learn some of this PUA stuff.

And after that I studied in the library for 4 hours for my English final that is on Monday....

And while I was studying I got another call each from my girlfriends and mom. On the way home, I called my friend from the Bay Area who just got dumped last night and spent a good 2 hours on the phone with her, while I was getting home on the bus (which takes about 40 minutes to do).

I really tried to help her. I tried to give her advice and techniques for dealing with this. She said she felt better and she seemed a lot less emotionally upset and she had a good outlook by the time we were done. which makes me feel good.

By the time I was done talking to her I was exhausted. And my L.A. girlfriend called. We both decided to stay in tonight, thankfully. It's a good end to a long day.

This week has been pretty long but I've also gotten a lot of things done. Like yesterday, I got my medical marijuana prescription/card. So now, I am set...I don't have to deal with hassling to find medicine anymore.

It was sorta time consuming to go out to Hollywood to see the doctor and I was in the office for 2 hours but at least it gave me a break from my papers. Plus, it could have been a lot worse. I was on my medication when I showed up and it was really funny to read the disclaimer that they have you sign. The funniest parts were when the form was describing some of the side effects of the medication.

Euphoria....hahahahaha. Talkativeness, loss of conceptual time, short term memory loss, lack of concentration, etc. The list was hilarious. I asked for a copy but they refused.

It was completely different than the first experience I had with a friend in Northern California. She asked me to go with her to renew her prescription and it had to be the strangest thing I've ever experienced.

First it wasn't in a doctor's office, it was in some Jamaican woman's apartment in Berkeley but it was more like Oakland. There were people just laying around freshly baked. She had banana bread that just melted me my chair.

We had to wait a long time, and she kept saying that the Doctor would be up in just a little while. And the whole time I'm expecting a doctor to walk through the door. Then she finally says that the Doctor is in New FUCKIN' Zealand and a goat on his farm just ate through his internet cable and he had to run to the store in town to buy a new cable so that he could teleconference via video internet.

Eventually my girlfriend went into a bedroom turned into an office and spoke to the Doctor, who was in New FUCKIN' Zealand and she got her prescription from the doctor, while I was smoking the fastest Jay I'd ever smoked with the others who were waiting in the living room.

It was the trippiest thing ever.

But it was cool, she got her script and I was happy from the banana bread and free bud they were sharing with me. I'd say sharing is caring and a friend with weed is a friend indeed.

This time I just sat in a plain office, there wasn't any banana bread or jays, just a bunch of folks waiting to see the doctor.

Medical marijuana doctors have it made. That doctor works 4 days a week for 5 hours a day (20 hours total) and brings in mad cash and has time to be with his family. And the doctor in New Zealand has it made too. Shit, If I could live in New Zealand on a farm with a goat to eat wires, It would be cool.

It was a good break, since before that I was having a heavy session with my psychologist. She's tough on me. And she really gave me so good advice and basically didn't go easy on me at all. Which was something I really needed. Tough love. I like working with her. She's really done a lot for me.

I also heard from my brother yesterday and he's doing well with the Style 505 thing. He says so far all the challenges have been self-improvement stuff and he wishes it had to do with meeting girls. But I told him that, I like all the self-improvement stuff. He told me about all the challenges.

He said the first one dealt with approach anxiety. He says he doesn't really deal with AA that much and I believe him. He doesn't have a problem going up to strangers and just talking to them.

I remember one time we were out and someone stop to give him a bible and he got into a discussion with the person and kept just asking really engaging questions. We've always been really social. I think I've become less social though over the years. I definitely seem to go through my day with my defenses (bitch shield) up a lot more. I am trying to break from that and still be social without being bothered by random men bugging me. It's hard though. Cuz I hate being bugged but at the same time I like being social.

I also signed up for my class reunion mailing list and saw Jealous Jason was already on it. I am sorta surprised because he always acting like he would NOT be interested in going to the class reunion.

It was cool to see updated pictures of him. He still looks the same, or at least I can still see the guy I used to love in his face. And he's making feature-length films from where he lives in the Bay Area, so that's cool. He always said he didn't want to move to L.A. to be a film director. And it looks like he's doing it now.

It would be interesting to see him again and caught up. I know he as a kid and I think he's married. I doubt his wife would want him to see me though. She's started dating him right after we broke up (he could never stand to be out of a relationship for very long) and they were pregnant within a few years. And I am sure they got married.

It was weird, she was a lesbian when he met her, or at least dating a girl. Oh well. I always just thought that he would have double the jealousy issues with her.

It was strange. He dumped me because he said I was selfish. And I realized I was being selfish because I had given him so much and wasn't getting the same in return. I wanted to pursue business opportunities for the business we had started together and he didn't want me to advance in the direction I was going.

At the time, I remember thinking that I'd be able to find another guy to fall in love with easily. Boy was I wrong. If I had known at the time that love was so difficult, I may have handled it differently. But because our love seemed so easy and because I was so naive, I had no idea how difficult dating could be.

I'm glad we separated because we were having communication problems and being single for the last 5 years has really given me opportunities to develop myself, independently and probably more thoroughly then I could have done in a relationship with him.

I am getting tired....This blog is going to have to continue when I have more time and when I am not exhausted. And it will also remain unedited until I can get around to finishing it up.

I am a radio of different sorts tonight.

(partially edited)

Some comments on my Communication Studies Project

2007-03-16T12:13:00.000-07:00

I am very proud of my project. I put a lot of work into it. I have never written a social science paper or a research paper of this kind before and I am happy with the way it turned out (for the most part). I've just turned in my project to my professor.

It may not follow scientific protocol exactly but I did my best to meet the guidelines set forth by my professor.

It's very long, fifteen pages double spaces. I don't really like the way it looks double spaced so it is single spaced on my blog.

Some of the formatting was lost in the transfer from word to this blog post. For example quotes of forty or more words should be aligned differently but the blog formatting does not allow for such accommedations.

This is not a pick-up artist guide or manual. It is a content analysis of existing sources. The concepts discussed are well known concepts in the seduction community.

The quotes are used here under fair use and academic regulations. If you were quoted in this project and feel your rights were violated, please seek legal counsel. I've been advised that the sources used are not in violation of copyright laws.

Parallels in Seduction and Advertising regarding Evolutionary Arms Race

2007-03-16T11:35:00.000-07:00

I. Introduction

This project explores the parallels in the evolutionary arms races of advertising and the seduction community.

The seduction community is defined as:

A loosely connected world-wide subculture of (mostly) men who strive for consistent success with attracting and seducing women. This overriding intention is facilitated with improvements of self (inner game), skills, and lifestyle. “It's about developing your self. Your skillset. Your social intelligence. Your 'alpha qualities'. Your lifestyle. Your natural attractiveness to women.” (Roman_be, 2006). This collection of attributes and abilities is what is sometimes referred to as one’s “game”.

In addition, members of this community seek greater understanding of male, female, and social psychology and dynamics. Within this community, there are individuals, businesses, and organizations with varying fundamentals, strategies, and philosophies, that offer advice, products, and services that help assist their diverging objectives.

This community is networked “together through internet forums and groups, as well as over a hundred local clubs, called ‘lairs’” (Wikipedia, 2007) and other similar local groups and gatherings. The seduction community is often referred to by its members as “the community”.

Pseudonyms are often used in the seduction community to protect the identification of members and targets. Pseudonyms are used throughout this project for the same reasons. Except in the case of the author, Neil Strauss; he uses the pseudonym Style in the seduction community. His real name and pseudonym are well known and used in the community and mainstream media coverage. This project refers to him as Neil Strauss in all instances.

The members of this community are often referred to as pick-up artists (PUA). A pick-up artist is someone skilled in the arts and non-exact sciences of seduction. For the sake of this project, seduction will refer to the following definition:

“Seduction is the use of temptation and enticement, often sexual in nature, to attract or influence the behavior of another. Traditionally, the word implied leading someone astray, as when a man lures a woman into a sexual relationship without the need to resort to force. In contemporary usage, however, seduction is used more broadly as a synonym for the act of charming someone.” (Wikipedia, 2007)

This project aims for an objective comparison of two separate but similar groups. The project will not attempt to address the morality or integrity of advertisers or pick-up artists. I do not believe that either the advertisement industry or the seduction communities are innately corrupt or dishonest. As in most groups within given societies, there are varying degrees of ethical practices with both seducers and advertisers. It would be an injustice to label all advertisers and pick-up artists as fraudulent. “Being a PUA doesn't make one inherently manipulative or dirty.” (Illpapinyc, 2006)

In regards to whether or not this community really exists, Neil Strauss, author of The Game and renowned pick-up artist, said it this way, “It really happen[s]. Men will deny it, women will doubt it. But I present it to you here, naked, vulnerable and disturbingly real. I beg you for your forgiveness in advance.”(2005)

Theoretical Frame Work of this Project

This project appears to be the first scholarly attempt to look at the seduction community, let alone to compare the seduction community practices with procedures from the advertising industry. Other sources referencing this community comes from media reviews of individuals, products, and services from the community, or from members of the community, none of which are academic in nature. This is due, in part, to the seduction community’s attempts to remain somewhat covert from mainstream media and audiences. There is a rampant fear in the community of being exposed. The reasons for which, tie directly into the topic of this paper, evolutionary arms race. Members of the seduction community fear, probably rightfully so, that wide-spread exposure would cause insurmountable competition and resistance from targets. Their schemes would have to radically evolve to continue their current status.

Both the seduction community and advertisers rely on psychology and sociology. This project works within in these related fields as it applies to its scope.“Some of the concepts in the [Seduction] community are borrowed from other disciplines, such as the concept of social proof from the psychology of influence, and various concepts from sociobiology and evolutionary psychology (such as the term 'alpha male').” (Wikipedia, 2007)

This project explores the evolutionary arms race that takes place in the seduction community by exploring tactics utilized by pick-up artists to stay ahead of competition, strategies to minimize opposition from targets, evolutionary and biological mating research, and techniques called peacocking and social proof. In addition, this project will briefly explore one reputable company utilizing these concepts in its program, The Mystery Method.

Competition is fierce in the dating world and pick-up artists take this competition against other men to its highest level. Once opponents are disarmed, members of the seduction community focus on their targets, usually highly sought-after women, and they use their knowledge to minimize any refusal to go along with the seduction. Seduction is accomplished in various ways. Knowledge of mating research is used by seducers to create and maintain attraction with women. Social proof and peacocking are methods employed to increase the desirability of the pick-up artists in the eyes of women. The Mystery Method is a highly respected company that has created the M3 Model which incorporates the strategies outlined in this project along with other proven practices. These strategies are just a few of many ways the seduction community takes advantage of the evolutionary arms race of love (and sex).

Due to the fact that there is no academic research on the seduction community, there is vast array of possibilities for further investigation that could be done. Both the advertising industry and the seduction community could learn a great deal from each other. The seduction community already uses advertising and sales techniques to their advantage. However, it is highly unlikely that advertisers pay any attention to pick-up artists. Though, if they did, they might learn important concepts that could be utilized within the advertising field.

Correspondingly, there are some very powerful concepts within the seduction community that could ultimately be beneficial to the advertising industry. One of the most powerful of which is a seduction community concept called “framing” or “frame control”. This concept is fundamentally different than the communication theory, and sociology, process of selective control over media content. (Wikipedia, 2007) It resembles more of George Lakoff’s political framing concepts. (Lakoff, 2006) It would be interesting to see research on the parallels between both pick-up artist and political framing theories.

This project was originally going to include comparisons of parallels with Ries and Trout’s positioning concepts and the seduction community. Positioning is a key concept that would ideally fall under the evolutionary arms race topic of this paper. However, due to the limited scope of this research project and time restraints, that comparison was not included. Further investigation into these comparisons could be beneficial to both the advertising industry and pick-up artists.

In addition, this project was going to have sections on “concealing the hook” and “staged surrenders”. However, proper sources were not secured in time to appropriately detail the seduction community used of these concepts.

Abstract

When concepts in the advertising industry are compared to similar concepts in the seduction community there may be parallels. The author of this project has researched numerous publications, books, articles, message boards, blogs, and other resources to collect the data that is presented within this project. The data shows evidence that members of the seduction community are aware of biological and evolutionary theories that effect seduction. This evidence further shows how that information is put into practice by pick-up artists. This project’s focus is on the less-studied seduction community as opposed to the exceedingly investigated advertising industry. Members of the seduction community exploit concepts that are also used in advertisement, to get women into bed.

Hypothesis

The dynamics of the seduction community is that of an evolutionary arms race that shares features of advertising evolutionary arms race.

II. Methods

I have done a painstaking content analysis of various websites, blogs, articles, books, message board forums, and other relevant resources to locate the information presented. Resources were selected based on their significance to the over all topic of evolutionary arms race in the seduction community. Complications arose when the scope of the project was being considered to include positioning, concealing the hook, and staged surrenders. Although, it seems apparent that there are parallels in positioning, concealing the hook, and staged surrenders in advertising and seduction it was difficult to pin point specific data from the seduction community regarding these concepts. This difficulty is probably due in part to the deviations in terminology in both groups regarding these theories. Such comparisons could be their own research project because of the amount of data that could be presented and the time it would take to gather the data.

Additional complication occurred when attempting to find graphics to add to this project. Some of the concepts presented in this project, such as peacocking and social proof, are not easily transferable into visual representations.

III. Results and Discussion

Evolutionary Arms Race in Advertisement and Seduction

The purpose in both advertisement and the seduction community is to, “learn to adapt and evolve faster than anybody else.” (Hysteria, 2006) Hysteria’s statements get at the core of what an evolution arms race is and the open-ended goals of the advertisement industry and the seduction community. “Stay two steps ahead at all times.”(Hysteria, 2006) But what is an evolutionary arms race?

The biological definition is as follows: "An evolutionary arms race is an evolutionary struggle between to competing sets of co-evolving genes that develop adaptations and counter-adaptations against each other, resembling an arms race." (Wikipedia, 2007) Metaphorically speaking, this is what happens amongst humans in both advertising and seducing. This struggle to stay ahead of competitors’ advances and prospects’ defenses is symbolically an evolutionary arms race.

However, staying ahead has no specific end points or conclusive destinations. "Arms race is also used to describe any competition where there is no absolute goal, only relative goals of staying ahead of the other competitors [and prospects]." (Wikipedia, 2007) Advertisers and seducers have to continually evolve their strategies because the tactics that they develop quickly lose efficiency when their targets develop resistances to those strategies.

"There is an arms race between advertisers and their potential customers." (Steen, 2007) As advertisers’ prospects develop opposition to ad tactics, the advertisers upgrade and innovate strategies to counter those resistances. "In a co-evolutionary arms race, audiences gradually learn to resist advertisers' techniques." (Steen, 2007) Professor Steen is currently researching and developing further work regarding the evolutionary arms race in advertising. This project takes a focused look at the evolutionary arms race in the seduction community. "Sex is an evolutionary puzzle." (Wikipedia, 2007)

“The male’s goal is seduction: He is trying to manipulate the female into falling for his charms, to get inside her head and steer her mind his way. The evolutionary pressure is on him to perfect displays that make her well disposed toward him and sexually aroused so that he can be certain of mating.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 161)

The seduction community is aware of evolution and its effect on the seduction process. The community aims to stay ahead of competitors (other single men) and targets (desirable women). “Fact is, being successful with girls (or at least better than the average Joe) is about adapting your own [behavior],” (Borris, 2006) Pick-up artists seek out resources, such as existing research, that will aid their over-all seduction efforts. "Books such as The Red Queen by Matt Ridley, Sperm Wars by Robin Baker, and The Mating Mind by Geoffrey Miller are frequently cited in the community.” (Wikipedia, 2007) As demonstrated in the following quote:

“For the aspiring pick-up artist, The Red Queen is an invaluable text that provides useful information on how our social interaction has evolved over thousands of years. And how it continues to evolve. The Red Queen not only tells you how we got here, but provides solid scientific evidence that you need to constantly improve your game.” (Strauss, 2006, p.2)

“Game” is a term used to reference pick-up artists’ attributes and abilities. The seduction community works towards advancing its skills and strategies to stay ahead of their competition. “The struggle for seduction never gets easier. However well a pick-up artist may adapt his game, he can never relax, because the hard bodies and alpha-males [competitors] are also adapting their tactics. Seduction is a zero-sum game.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 2) The pick-up artists take into account other economically-desirable (available) males and adopt strategies to make themselves just as valuable. “The technologies of seduction have been developed to help even the playing field.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 5)

However, other men are not the solitary concern of members of the community. Pick-up artists also are anxious with the evolutionary advances of their targets, attractive ladies. As stated below:

“You must constantly refine your game. Seek to grow beyond just spitting out canned routines and pick-up techniques you’ve memorized. Always be learning, and then challenge yourself to grow beyond what you’ve learned. Become your own guru. Because you can bet that whatever technique you’re memorizing, someone else is working on the antidote.” (Strauss, 2006, p.2)

The evolutionary arms race defenses that women adapt in response to the pick-up artist‘s routines are a worry many in the seduction community are concerned with. “If women start to get bombarded with "the game" [pick-up artist’s routines] then you had better believe they will adapt defenses against it.” (Merlin, 2006) Some of these men are worried that they will not be able to develop co-adaptations to the oppositions women form. They realize the divergent goals of the genders.

Male and female aspirations in seduction are evolutionarily different. Female intuitively seek a solitary-quality mate, whereas males viscerally try to find multiple partners, as discussed in this passage:

“Ridley explains that the instinctual goal for every female animal is to find a mate with the genetic makeup necessary to be a good husband, a good father, or a good sire. Male animals, on the other hand, have a goal of locating as many wives and mothers as possible.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 3)

“While it’s easy to think every human being is idiosyncratic and unique, the book [The Red Queen] explains how our mating choices are the result of evolutionary and biological pressures over thousands of years.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 7) There are natural reasons for the discrepancies between the genders’ pairing-off preferences.

“In 1972, Robert Trivers explained why the genders have such disparate goals. The gender that invest[s] the most in children (such as the way women carry a fetus for nine months) is the one that has the least to gain from an extra mating. The gender that invest[s] the least has extra time to spend searching for other mates.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 3)

“Therefore, broadly speaking, males invest less and seek quantity of mates, while females invest more and seek quality of mates.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 133) These diverse objectives create very interesting sexual dynamics. “Because of those different goals, scientists define a reality that every man who has ever entered a singles club immediately learns.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 3) “Males compete for the attention of females.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 133) Women therefore choose and men do the best they can to be chosen. Leaving the men to figure out what choices women prefer to make. In other words, what women find attractive. The seduction community has a large arsenal of knowledge regarding attractive traits women are drawn to.

“In a monogamous society a woman often chooses a mate long before he has had a chance to become a ‘chief’, and she must look for clues to his future potential rather than rely only on past achievements. Poise, self assurance, optimism, efficiency, perseverance, courage, decisiveness, intelligence, ambition--these are the things that cause men to rise to the top of their professions. And not coincidentally, these are the things women find attractive.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 298)

Women have to be perceptive when evaluating the possible successes of would-be suitors. A man’s previous triumphs (or lack of) are not always a clear indication of imminent value. So women often look for characteristics within budding beaus.

“If you [the pick-up artist] exhibit the right traits, then women will take a bet on you. They’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, even though you may not have the corner office just yet. They’re guessing that, based on your personality, you will some day.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 6)

This evolutionary knowledge is used by men in the seduction community to their advantage in various ways. Two such ways are strategies called peacocking and social proof.

"In addition, males and females must spend resources to attract and compete for mates." (Wikipedia, 2007) The usage of these assets is onerous to both the sexes. “Females choose; their choosiness is inherited; they prefer exaggerated ornaments; exaggerated ornaments are a burden to males. That much is now uncontroversial.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 138) The pick-up artists have a term and technique for using “exaggerated ornaments” and the intrinsic burden of these ornaments. The strategy is called peacocking. “Peacocking means dressing for attention” (Urban Dictionary, 2007)

“The term is derived from the courting rituals of the peacock. The male peacock grows an exceptionally long and colorful tail to attract a mate. The long and colorful tail is at best useless and at worst a hindrance (it gets in the way and attracts predators). What a male peacock with a great tail is communicating is ‘I am so good at surviving and protecting myself that I can afford the disadvantage of this tail‘. Female peacocks are attracted to the underlying strength of this kind of male peacock.” (Savoy, 2005)

The seduction community uses “peacocking” as one of many weapons in its armoires to stay ahead of their competition and to advance in the seduction of their target. “Inherently, peacocking, like all pick-up techniques, isn’t meant to be easy.” (Strauss, 2006, p.3)

“We tend to think it’s the woman’s place to be uncomfortable. High-heels, push-up bras, tight shirts, and waxed eyebrows (and other body parts!) are just part of being a fashionable, attractive woman. But to be a successful pick-up artist, you have to be willing to carry some of that burden yourself.” (Strauss, 2006, p.3)

Pick-up artists take on these extra obligations to appeal to female evolutionary desires and to separate themselves from other men. They do this as an act of poise, control, and uniqueness.

“It may feel uncomfortable or not cool sometimes, but it conveys confidence and leadership and individuality when you’re wearing those clothes (as opposed to letting them wear you). And though we [pick-up artists] weren’t born with antlers or colorful tail feathers, fortunately we can purchase and adorn the equivalent.” (Strauss, 2006, p.3)

Peacocking is a delicate art that takes a lot of self-awareness and skill to master. And it is not the only item in the seduction community’s cannon of evolutionary-seduction knowledge. Another instrument that is influenced by evolution and used in the seduction community is “social proof”. “The concept that when you [the pick-up artists] are seen with other women your social status is raised in the eyes of Hbs [hot babes] in the near vicinity.” (Fast Seduction, 2007) This concept has been proven in guppy fish.

“In guppy fish, females that have been allowed to see two males, one of which is already courting a female, subsequently prefer that [already attached] male to the other even if the female that was being courted is longer present.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 146)

“Obviously, social proof is effective, even in the animal kingdom.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 4) “Social proof is basically a synonym for being ‘popular‘; if a lot of other people like me, you will probably like me too.” (Steve, 2006) “If you're with a good-looking and charming person, it raises your esteem in the eyes of others.” (Dolly, 2006) Social Proof can be further explained with the following quote:

“Social value of unfamiliar people is ambiguous and requires a lot of effort to assess accurately. Given limited time and motivation, other people will often evaluate others based on how surrounding people behave towards them. For example, if a man is perceived to be in a company of attractive women, or is associated with them, then his perceived social value and attractiveness will be perceived to be greater. The implied cognition in this case would be ‘All those girls seem to really like him, there must be something about him that's high value‘. If he is seen to be rejected by many women, his social value will be judged negatively. The implied cognition is then ‘I just saw him being rejected by many women, there is probably a good reason why they don't like him‘.” (Wikipedia, 2007)

In the above example, a man does not have to be rejected by “many women” to suffer the consequences of negative social proof; it only takes one female to reject a man to taint the surrounding women’s social impression of that man. A similar cognition to the latter one made in the above quote still applies.

Beautiful women are not always readily available when needed in social situations. So, “some men use photos of themselves surrounded by attractive women to enhance their perceived social value.” (Wikipedia, 2007) This social value can be aided with the help of a digital camera, which some pick-up artists carry with them to show photos to women they meet. In addition, social proof can be achieved without a camera or beautiful women on one’s arms, by using storytelling to sub-communicate that desirable women are already apart of the storytellers life. “Storytelling is a crucial tool in your [pick-up artist] arsenal.” (Savoy, 2005)

“Seduction techniques such as peacocking, social proof, and projecting confidence work in the animal kingdom as well as among humans.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 7) In addition, members of the seduction community use the evolutionary methods to stand out from the competition and seduce the target.

The Mystery Method Corporation is a well thought-of company in the seduction community that offers products and services that make the most of the evolutionary arms race concepts discussed in the project, as well as many other field proven fundamentals and strategies. The M3 model takes trends normally found in sexual relationships and creates an easy to follow method for successfully achieving seduction consistently. “It normally takes 4 to 10 hours of time with her to build enough comfort, connection, and trust in order to have sex.” (The Mystery Method, 2005) This model suggests superior ways to progress through to the final stages of seduction and outlines important concepts for over coming resistance. There is even a stage within the model that addresses the targets’ refusal to go along the seduction, called last minute resistance. The Mystery Method has evolved their M3 model to stay ahead of competition’s developments and targets’ opposition. Unfortunately, the new model’s release corresponds closely to the completion of this project and was not made available to be added in time. Nonetheless, it includes important advances in transitions, relationship management, and other conceptual areas.

Finally the hypothesis of this project is proven with the data presented above. More reliable resources would have been helpful to explain further the concept of social proof. However, the information detailed in the project is significant for the purposes of this research paper. The implication of these parallels could be exploited by both the advertising industry and the seduction community to further progress their strategies. Further parallels between the two groups could prove even more beneficial.

IV. Conclusion

Both the advertising industry and the seduction community participate in evolutionary arms races. Pick-up artists bring into play evolutionary arms race strategies to seduce women and out perform competitors. These men make themselves more sought-after with techniques such as peacocking and social proof which have basis in evolutionary research. They also display confidence. “Body language matters for male sexiness.” (Ridley, 2003) To generate and sustain desirability in women, members of the seduction community use research on mating information to their benefit. The main defined goals of the seduction community are to stay ahead of competitors’ progress and targets’ defiance.

The validity of these findings relies heavily on the integrity of sources. Many of the pick-up artists techniques have grounding in proven theories and all of them have been field tested and retested by hundreds (if not thousands) of pick-up artists world wide. Since there are no scientific studies being conducted on the seduction community’s techniques, proven field testing will have to suffice. If these strategies were not valid or did not work, the seduction community would find, develop, or impose strategies that did. With that stated some of the quotations within this project are purely opinion and should be regarded as such.

It should be noted that the sources obtained from wikipedia, especially regarding the seduction community, may be under dispute and their validity may be under discussion. For further details on specific disputes and discussions, www.wikipedia.com should be consulted.

There are plenty of other fundamentals from the seduction community that could be linked to the evolutionary arms race theory, however, the scope of this project has been met and it would be difficult to catalog all such strategies.

The other unanswered aspect of this project relates to the evolutionary arms race in the advertising industry. This theory is currently being handled by Professor Francis Steen.

In general, it can be said that men and women natural have an evolutionary arms race struggle against each other, however, the pick-up artist bring a wide array of categorical and effective weaponry tactics to this ageless battle.

Which leaves the question; what, if any, defenses have the modern woman develop against these seduction community techniques and strategies?

References

~Pseudonyms are used in the seduction community by pick-up artists (PUA). Pseudonyms are listed within this project and its reference list. Pseudonyms are followed by a comma and the abbreviation PUA on the list below.

* Appendix could not be made available in the format of this blog. Appendix sources are only available in their original format and locations.

Merlin, PUA (2006, January 27) The Game: the movie thread. Retrieved March 1, 2007.
http://www.themysterymethod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4691&page=3&highlight=attraction+switches

Borris, PUA (2006, February 24) The Game: the movie thread Retrieved March 1, 2007
http://www.themysterymethod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4691&page=5&highlight=attraction+switches

Hysteria, PUA (2006, February 24) The Game: the movie thread Retrieved March 1, 2007
http://www.themysterymethod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4691&page=7&highlight=attraction+switches

Illpapinyc, PUA (2006, February 27) The Game: the movie thread Retrieved March 1, 2007
http://www.themysterymethod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4691&page=12&highlight=attraction+switches

Hysteria, PUA (2006, July 17) The Game is up (the sky is falling chicken little) Retrieved March 1, 2006
http://www.themysterymethod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7983&page=4&highlight=evolve

Roman_be, PUA (2007, January 27) The Game is up (the sky is falling chicken little)
Retrieved March 1, 2006
http://www.themysterymethod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7983&page=5&highlight=evolve

Strauss, N. (2006, July) The red queen: study guide Stylelife. Retrieved February 27, 2007
(see appendix)* Exact of location of this source is not public.

Strauss, N. (2005) The game New York, ReganBooks.

Ridley, M (2003) The red queen New York, Harper Perennial.

Wikipedia, “Evolutionary arms race” Retrieved March 3, 2007 from
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolutionary_arms_race

Wikipedia, “Arms race” Retrieved March 3, 2007 from
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arms_race

Wikipedia, “Red queen” Retrieved March 3, 2007 from
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Queen

Wikpedia, “Seduction Community” Retrieved March 7, 2007
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seduction_community

Wikipedia, “Seduction” Retrieved March 8, 2007
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seduction

Wikipedia, “Social proof” Retrieved March 10, 2007
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_proof

Wikipedia, “Framing” Retrieved March 10, 2007
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Framing_(telecommunication)

Steen, F. “Class Lecture Notes” (2007)
(see appendix) * Exact location of this source is not public

Urban Dictionary “Peacocking” Retrieved March 8, 2007
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=peacocking

Savoy, PUA; (2005)“Fashion & lifestyle -- OAP issue 7”
(see appendix)* Enrollment in OAP is require. Enrollment can be done through this blog or on www.themysterymethod.com

Savoy, PUA; (2005) “Attraction OAP issue 3”
(see appendix) * Enrollment in OAP is require. Enrollment can be done through this blog or on http://www.themysterymethod.com/

Steve, PUA (2006) “Games are for children: be happy, be yourself” Retrieved March 10, 2007
http://www.gamesareforchildren.com/archives/396-Social-Proof.html

Dolly, female PUA advocate (2006) “Bf ‘social proof’ David” Retrieved March 10, 2007
http://cocksanddolls.blogspot.com/2006/06/bf-social-proof-david.html

Lakoff, G. (February 14, 2006) “Simple framing: an introduction to framing and its use in politics” Retrieved March 10, 2007
http://www.rockridgeinstitute.org/projects/strategic/simple_framing

Fast Seduction “Common acronyms/slang used on alt.seduction.fast” Retrieved March 10, 2007
http://www.fastseduction.com/acronyms.shtml

The Mystery Method “The M3 model” Retrieved March 14, 2007
http://www.themysterymethod.com/downloads/M3Model.ppt

Schizo, PUA "Blog Post Comment" (March 9, 2007)
https://www2.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4965447022861164429&postID=8900391898894468701

Wordsmithery...or I am a radio

2007-03-13T19:44:00.000-07:00

For lack of a title this post is going be ambiguously delightful. There's so many things I rolling around in my head. Things I want to express. It's hard to pick just one thing to write about. So, I'll just write and see what comes of it. Let this be a moral story about the effects of blogging under the influence and tripping off the effects of insurmountable stress. The topics here enclosed will all relate to my love for language and my passion to master its craft. Words are symbols waiting to be decoded. And this is proof.

If this doesn't make any sense to you, good. It shouldn't. Because it makes no sense to me either.

My New Favorite Color

Orange is usually my favorite color. It's so bright and cautious. It screams "Hey look at me but be careful as you proceed. Green's cool too. I like green for what it represents. Freedom or wait...is it dependence. I get the two confused. But so does our president. His favorite color is probably oil brown because it represents green to him. Or maybe its blood red because that the color he's spread around the the oil brown to get more green. Enough about the corruption in the white house...let's get back to writing about me or at least my new favorite color, which happens to be purple haze.

I am Afraid to Fall

There is something that I learned today. Or realized rather. I've never learned to skateboard. Because I'm too afraid to fall. It's something like TenMagnet's last few posts about risk taking (vol. 1 and vol. 2) . I'm not not a risk taker when it comes to falling. I avoid most activities that involve falling. Rollerblading, snowboarding, mountain biking, hiking, surfing, horseback riding, gymnastics, motocycle riding, trapezing, bungee jumping (well...I actually tried that once though), crowd surfing, professional wresting, walking down stairs, falling in love and so on and so forth. These are all activities I avoid. Because I'm afraid to fall. I get vertigo.

Today when I ran into my T.A., near the middle of campus, I stopped him because I was heading over to his office hours. He stopped and waited for me to print my paper and then he held office with me in a beautifully busy part of campus. The weather was great and I people watched as he read my paper and I saw a group of guys all trying to land a skateboard jump off a two and a half foot jump.

A weird realization came over me, I would never be out there trying to do that in front of all those people. I mean, I watched them for a while and I only saw one of the guys land one of the attempts. There must have be nearly hundred attempts. Sometimes they'd fall. Sometimes they'd land on there feet. Sometimes they'd land on the board weird. But every single time they regained control and went back to try it again, and again, and again. I hardly saw them phased by their failed attempts. I didn't see them pass judgment on any of the other guys. I didn't see people jeering them if they landed poorly. It was just systematic.

And it made me think that's the way to get good at stuff. Go for it and go for it and go for it. But I wondered if they were getting better. I wondered if they were making the most out of their missed jumps and fumbled falls. Were they analyzing their game? I wondered if they approached anything else in their lives like they did skateboarding. I couldn't do it. It seems like a waste of time to me. I mean Tony Hawk is cool but how many other 40 year old men do you know that still skateboard? Or that can say skateboarding enriched their life. Maybe more than I think. I wonder if they're going to be disappointed that the spent their time skateboarding on beautiful sunny day. Or I wonder if they were the happiest guys out there today.

Doctor Faustus

Blind ambition, pride, and absolute knowledge. I love satire. And irony. I love school too. It strange the things you learn when you're open to it. Or it's strange the way you notice things differently after you've discovered some new. Perception is a strange concept. The nature of contracts and flaws. It's strange the things they make you read at the University. And it's strange I've never read it before. And why are the kids nearly 10 years younger than me who have read this stuff? Questions have questions marks but do rhetorical questions require question marks? Who would pay $80 for a bottle of hay? And is two-thirds knowledge and power worth eternal damnation? And if the morals not about a deal with the devil, then what is the moral? What is Marlowe trying to write to me? Who talks about themselves in the third person? The limitations of language? Or the liberation of language? What's at stake? And so what? And is the title of a play really underlined? I can't see the thesis through the argument, metaphorically speaking. How can they let young fashionable professors teach? There should be a minimum age limits and they should be required to be unattractive and no pierced ears and pink ties. "Curse Faustus, curse Lucifer" albeit a warped reflection. Holding a mirror up to...

Numbers

I love numbers. Numbers are symbols. If I was a PUA, I'd use the "pick a number between one and ten" chick crack thingy all the time. Or at least I know it would definitely work on me. But then again, must of that stuff would work on me. But then again, I'd always pick eight, so it probably wouldn't work on me but who knows, if he's cute enough, it usually works. But that's beside the point or at least besides the number. Which is eight. Or when two eights become a zero. Or when song number nine is "piano". And three fifteen is headautomatica. And eight seventeen is love's first date. And two twenty-eight is his birthday. And twenty one is lucky but you don't believe in luck but it's your day nonetheless. There are numbers you purposely forget and numbers you can't forget if you wanted to forget. Numbers are meaning. The number twelve or the eight or even the super twelve. Mc eight was a rapper but no one remember him. nine-two-five is the place I'm from. Three-ten is the place I am at. Twenty-eight is fading and thirty-two is gone. Seventeen is old for a dog. Maybe too old. Fifty is for purple haze and Two plus is a long time to wait. And three seventeen is the day to wear green. I could go on and on and on...

Pillows

I love pillows. Different size, different cases. Different firmnesses. One for the neck. Stack the up next to me when I sleep. He hugs his at night. And bites them with delight. Two under the knees. One under the butt. Four to sit up with. Contoured. And throw. Match or not. Pillows are a symbol.

The best dream this week

I had an awesome dream this week. I was in "my back yard" or so it seemed to be. In a swimming pool that boarder on a glass that looked into a resort swimming pool and a neighbor's swimming pool. The resort had big pirate boats that they would have in their side of the pool and they'd have shows and I remember it was all so exciting. Warm and happy.

The worst dream this week

I had a terrible dream this week. I was in a shopping mall and someone kidnapped a little girl. They shut down the whole mall and everyone was looking for this girl. Some lady started bitching about being inconvenienced. I don't know what happened after that. I just remember it being a terrible feeling. Dreams are symbols.

I Want to be a Professor

I'd be happy being a professor. I'd get to help a bunch of young people expand their minds. I could do research in some exotic field. Teach classes and write. I think it would be cool to become a professor. You could tell your students really liberal things. Show them things they've never saw. Teach them to teach themselves. Council them and guide them. Be on a beautiful campus. Take class in spare time. Be around other great minds. Have an influence on the world. Learn. Grow. Think. Create....

What I like about the Seduction Community: The Mystery Method

Strange but true. I realize I am a bit biased but I like those guys. I've done a bit of research and haven't found a group I like more yet. Don't be jealous, I can't like all the stuff I come across. But I do like most of what I see from them. I've had the opportunity to meet a few of them. I won't get into the details surrounding that but I will say, those that I've met stand out in my mind. And even the ones I haven't met still seem good enough. They seem to have integrity and be hardworking. Savoy seems to be a great leader of men, he does what he can for his employees. His blog might be lacking as of late but that's not his fault. Maybe now he can get back to blogging, OAPing, and other more important communications. He doesn't seem as bad as some would paint him. He's witty and caring. And it seems like he could be successful at anything he tried. Sinn's a character. It seems like he can argue or bet anything. He seems to believe in what he's doing and I am jealous of him because he has one of the coolest jobs that I can think of. And he puts himself into it. He's young and sharp. And his blog is the most entertaining to follow. I love TenMagnet's blog post though too. They are so packed full of insights even if he doesn't post as often as others. He really seems to have a good grasp on these concepts. And besides he has a cool name. Future's a laugh. His posts are varied but entertaining nonetheless. It's cool that he's a film student and writes screenplays. And I want to make creme brulee. Capitan Jack is a hoot with his same day lays. He seems to have solid advice to give, especially his recent post on sticking points. Feddelio seems cool. I am sure we would never get along though (and that's not a disqualification statement or anything) but his posts are cool too. I like the advice he gave to his daughters. His personality really shone through. It's hard to keep up with all the PUAs in the community or read all the blogs but so far, I've like most of what I've seen from The Mystery Method crew. If you've haven't checked them out give them a try. You might be presently surprised.

My Friend the Exchange Guy

Really reminds me of my little brother. It's sorta strange. I think I befriended him so that I could be reminded of my brother often. They have the same body type. It's kinda cool because it's like I have a little brother in L.A. But the Exchange Guy is an exchange student, so he'll be leaving at the end of next quarter. He hooked me up today. If it weren't for him this post would probably be coherent or nonexistent. But I needed a night off. No school work, no worries, no sadness, no fears. Just me and my words.

A is for Ambiguity

There is no one in this world that knows everything about me. No one. Probably not even me. It's not something I am proud of. It's just the way I've learn to keep things. Imagine if everyone knew everything about you. I have radical dreams and liberal fantasies. High hopes and ideal ideas. I want to love different than is socially acceptable. I want live outside the lines. I want to die happy. And be proud of what I've done. I want to teach people and leave my mark on the world.

Social Capital

I want to write something about social capital but I don't know how to spell it and my arms are starting to hurt from typing so much.

I'd write more but I'm tired and in pain now. Tonight. Take care. If you're not sleeping next to the one you love tonight, may they find their way into your arms soon enough.

***Warning***
This post is unedited and will remain that way until further notice. (semi-edited now)

Yesterday was a beautiful day, today maybe too

2007-03-13T10:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I finally got paid (hallelujah!), I wore a dress because the weather allowed me to, I saw two golden retrievers and petted them, I got help with my English paper, and took some "private time". Yay!

Today is looking pretty good too. I just finished my communication studies project (thank God), I can buy some much needed pot, the weather looks great, I can get more help on my English paper, and I have NO class today.....awww, it feels good.

My younger brother is joining the game

2007-03-12T09:20:00.000-07:00

I have mixed feeling about this.

My younger brother called me the other night, which is a rarity.

I'm usually the one to call him for technical support because he is formerly a Best Buy Geek Squad boy and he's almost a decade younger than me, so that means he's grown up with all this technology, literally at his fingertips.

So he called me to tell me he was accepted to be one of Style's 505 apprentices for an upcoming program. I am not currently aware of what Style is doing or what this program is. I'm sure it's legit, I just wish I could have known before he spent the money.

My brother told me he's using the name Glassjaw in the community.

Now, I probably shouldn't be surprised because I'm the one who told my brother about The Game and introduced him to the knowledge, that there is a community of men that helps other men find what they are looking for with women.

However, I haven't fully discussed with my brother the extend of my research or even that I, myself, was (briefly) participating in the StyleLife challenge.

When I went home for the holidays, I let him read through a bit of The Game after I was done reading it. I helped him sign-up for The Mystery Method OAP and encouraged him to look into it.

I did this mainly because he was going through a break-up with his girlfriend at the time and struggling with a girl he liked. The girl he liked was hot and she LJBFed him.

I never liked his girlfriend, from the first day I met her. And always felt he could do better.

The first day I met her, my mother took my brother, his girlfriend, and me out to dinner at our favorite family, Chinese, restaurant. Going to our favorite Chinese restaurant has been a family tradition with my Mom and my little brother for years. It started with my mom and my brother when they moved to Orange county from the Bay Area about 8-9 years ago.

Originally, I did not move with them because I wanted to stay close to my boyfriend at the time, Jealous Jason. But eventually Jealous Jason and I had some problems, so I moved to Orange County with my mother and my little brother. That's when they introduced me to what is now my most favoritest Chinese restaurant in the whole of the world (or at least out of every Chinese restaurant I've ever been to).

The place was amazing, the food was great, and the staff was so friendly and they always remembered us. Even years later my brother and I returned and they still remembered him.

It's also where we started the tradition of getting Flaming Po-Po platters and where I discovered, by accident, how yummy honey walnut shrimp is. Oh the nostalgia.

We didn't stay in Orange County for long and eventually we all moved back to the Bay Area. We eventually found a favorite Chinese restaurant in the town we lived in and continued the tradition.

So, on the first day of meeting my brother's new girlfriend, we're all at our restaurant, which is rooted in family tradition, and his girlfriend decided to tell us that: "I believe the guy should pay for everything."

My brother was still in high school and I found that statement to be a little absurd. Who the fuck says that to her new boyfriend's family the first time she meets them? Well, this girl does. And I took issue with it.

And from that point forward she didn't make herself look any better in my eyes. And being the kind of girl and sister that I am, I let her know it, often. My brother obviously deserved better.

So when he was going through his break with her, I was relieved and wanted to help him move on to better things. At the time, I thought telling him about the community was a good idea.

Now, I am not exactly sure.

Since coming back from the holiday, I've been doing a lot of research and learning a great deal about the community. People outside of the community often ask me why I'm interested in the community or they have some pre-conceived notion about the morality of those involved in the community.

I've spent a great deal of time defending this community and explaining my interests in being involved with such a group of guys. I explain to people that it's not fair to judge the community based off of its reputation alone and I always try to explain it in terms that are more positive to those that aren't familiar with the community. I still am met with great opposition in this regard, and my stance is still in support of a great majority of the community.

I truly believe my brother will do good things with the fundamentals and strategies he learns. He's good-hearted and very social already. I just think he needs some guidance in the art of attraction. Growing up with three females (our mom, our sister, and me) probably has had a bit of an unproductive effect on his attraction skills.

We've tried our best to help him but, God knows, women aren't the best at articulating what women really want. I've learned more about helping men, in this area, in the last several months and hope to be of assistance to him and my friends. But in no way do I consider myself a reliable source at the moment. There's only so much that can be learned from 'free' research.

My brother and I grew very close several years ago. Although there is a large age difference between us, we have a lot in common (music, film, theatre, etc). I've welcomed him into my circle of friends and, again even though there's a difference in age, they've all taken to liking him because he's such a great guy. We'd gone to concerts together often and I remember taking a road trip with him to AZ to see our favorite band, Glassjaw (hence his name in the community).

I also remember clearly the first day we brought our (now deceased) dog, Homer, home from pound . Once in the back yard, Homer, who was probably 85lbs, ran around the yard like a free animal. He ended up barrelling into my brother, who was then very young and very small. Homer knocked my brother to the ground. It's sorta funny now because my brother is no longer little and towers over me by at least a foot. Awww...more nostalgia yet again.

I have faith that my brother will use his new found skills for positive things and I don't worry about him misusing his powers or women in any way. My main concern for him is not what he will do with other women. I am more concerned about other men.

He mentioned to me on the phone about wanting to meet Mystery and Style. And I am fearful he may begin to idolize a magician and a nose raper. I haven't met either of these two men, so I don't want to say a lot about this now. I recognize their contributions to this community and know without them neither I nor my brother would have found it.

But I am concerned for him and the influences he may be exposed to. I didn't discourage my brother from what he wanted but just gave him my personal opinion in regards to the matter. I also tried to frame him as a "good" person with integrity and honor. I know I can't control him (nor do I wish to) and I have no desire to tell him what he can and cannot do. He's an adult and free to do as he will.

I just wish him well and hope he makes good decisions and isn't negatively influenced by the "man drama" in this community.

If you run across him, say 'hi' and welcome him kindly, with open arms. He's a good kid (young man).

With trepidation I write these words.

I've been dumped, I'm penny less, and my dog just died

2007-03-11T09:46:00.000-07:00

No joke. I know it sounds like a country song title or something but I have not been paid in nearly 4 months and I have barely any money to my name at the moment. This hopefully will be settled this week and I will feel a lot less financial stress and can start to pay debts I have.

Things aren't working out with the guy I really like but it's my fault. I really don't want to discuss this any further in this post but I am sadden by the current situation nonetheless.

And my mom just called me to tell me that our family dog, Homer, passed away last night. He was very old, probably 17 years old, by our best estimates. We have had him for nearly 15 years and I know everyone says this about their dog, but he truly was the best dog ever.

He was a large (85lbs in his prime) beautiful golden retriever and chow chow mix. He was kind and gentle. And I remember the day we picked him up from the pound very clearly. He was the only dog not barking. Which I thought maybe meant he was deaf or dumb or something. He clearly was not deaf, because he would later bark when ever he heard the door bell or some other noises at our house. Whether or not he was dumb is debatable, however, and I remember we named him Homer because of the "doh" expression he had when we got him into the car at the pound; it was much like a Homer Simpson's reaction.

We all knew he was getting ready to pass on because he was deteriorating lately but that doesn't make it any more easy to handle. I am just glad he's not suffering anymore and I'll miss him dearly.

R.I.P.
Homer
3/10/2007

Framing in politics and pick-up artistry

2007-03-10T16:51:00.000-08:00

Pick-up artists could benefit from exploring George Lakoff's framing concepts. As far as I know his framing concepts were developed in his linguistics work and then transfered into his political work.

The concept is very similar to framing in the seduction community, however, there is much to be gained from further insight into his theories. Here's an sample article of his work:

http://www.rockridgeinstitute.org/projects/strategic/simple_framing

I found this while researching my communication studies project and it was inspired by Sinn's work on framing.

Google can produce further resources for those who are interested.

Can anyone tell me why renown linguistic experts turn into political advocates? Chomsky was a renown linguists too before jumping into political and propaganda commentary, wasn't he? (I think I've been studying too hard, I am discussing intellectual bullshit on my blog now. I guess it beats personal drama).

On a side note:

I've just reached the minimum word count on my project, so now all I have to is make sure I've covered all my bases and polish it up. I'll be glad when it's over, my research has caused more trouble than I would have like it to.

Back to my studies.

Pushing away every guy that gets too close to me

2007-03-10T00:18:00.000-08:00

I've had a very long week. I am under an extreme amount of personal stress, I've not been paid in over 3 months, I am dealing with work related injuries, and I am in the middle of finals at what seems to be one of the most difficult universities in the world.

I probably shouldn't be writing a blog of such a personal nature, especially in the emotional state I am in but I really do NOT have that many places to turn right now and NOT that many people read my blog anyways, and of those that do read my blog, very few actually know me in real life (because I prefer it that way).

I've noticed yet another relationship pattern of mine. When I start to really liking a guy, I push him away by acting crazily bizarre, to the point of driving him out of my life.

Retrospectively looking back, I've done this for years. And if I had to guess why, I'd say it probably has something to do with my abandonment issues regarding the men in my life (or that left my life growing up). And at some point they all left my life of their own accord.

I don't talk about my father much but since my school psychologist got me talking about him yesterday, I've been wondering what effect if any his absence has had on me.

And I've come to the realization that, although I do NOT want my father in my life, I missed out on very important social lessons and experiences in his absence. I have no idea how to communicate with men in my life, especially men I have romantic feelings for.

Sure I had a step-father for many years but he wasn't a good role model either, seeing how he was inappropriate with my younger sister and cheated on our mother constantly.

After talking to my psychologist yesterday I also realized that my grandfathers were not apart of my developmental years either. My mother's father is accused of molesting our cousin.

I've come to expect that men I care about will leave me. And well when they do not, I don't know how to handle myself. So I act out in irrational ways causing great confusion for them, no doubt. And either one of two things happens, they leave or I leave.

They usually leave, if I express my true feelings for them. And I usually leave if, they express their true feelings for me. It's a fucked up paradox but it's my paradox, for better or worse. The only thing is it's worse not better.

And the only way it's going to get better is if I make the effort to consciously change my behavior. But behavior modification is really difficult. I am not using that as excuse, just making an observation.

I want to change and I want to be a better person and I want to stop pushing people out of my life.

I wish there was The Mystery Method bootcamp or some other program to help with these sorts of issues. I respect any pick-up artist that honestly takes steps to improve his life because it's no easy task. And it's probably the hardest thing someone can do.

I am sure I'll pull through this (like I always do). I just wish I didn't hurt so many people in the process, including myself.

My introduction so far and more resources needed

2007-03-08T07:18:00.000-08:00

I NEED public resources that discuss POSITIONING see this link for further comments regarding positioning.

Because pick-up artists use different terminology than advertisers I am having a difficult time finding resources that deal with PUAs getting into the targets mind, positioning (for lack of another word) himself higher on "fuckable"/desirable ladder or knowledge structure.

But now that I think about it, any discussion on "attraction switches" could be seen as an attempt to positions oneself higher the the targets mind. And most things that PUAs do (peacocking, DHV, etc) is an attempt to elevate the PUA in the target's mind. I'll have to give this more thought and keep looking.

If you know of any public resources that could be helpful to my project, PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE to leave a comment. My project will be due before I know it and I want it to be a good project.

OH yeah I almost forgot. I am only focusing on the parallels between seduction and advertising (instead of mass media; mass media was too broad of a scope for this project)

Here's my introduction so far:

This project explores the parallels in the evolutionary arms race in advertising and the Seduction community.

The Seduction community is defined as:

A loosely connected world-wide subculture of (mostly) men who strive for consistent success with attracting and seducing women. This overriding intention is facilitated with improvements of self (inner game), skills, and lifestyle. “It's about developing your self. Your skillset. Your social intelligence. Your 'alpha qualities'. Your lifestyle. Your natural attractiveness to women.” (Roman_be, 2006). This collection of attributes and abilities is what is sometimes referred to as “game”.

In addition, members of this community seek greater understanding of male, female, and social psychology and dynamics. Within this community, there are individuals, businesses, and organizations with varying fundamentals, strategies, and philosophies, that offer advice, products, and services that help assist their diverging objectives.

This community is networked “together through internet forums and groups, as well as over a hundred local clubs, called ‘lairs’” (wikipedia, 2007) and other similar local groups and gatherings.

The members of this community are often referred to as pick-up artists (PUA) . A pick-up artist is someone skilled in the arts and non-exact sciences of seduction. For the sake of this project, seduction will refer to the following definition:

“Seduction is the use of temptation and enticement, often sexual in nature, to attract or influence the behavior of another. Traditionally, the word implied leading someone astray, as when a man lures a woman into a sexual relationship without the need to resort to force. In contemporary usage, however, seduction is used more broadly as a synonym for the act of charming someone.“ (Wikipedia, 2007)

The Seduction community is often referred to by its members as “the community”.

This project aims for an objective comparison of two separate but similar groups. The project will not attempt to address the morality or integrity of advertisers or pick-up artists. The author of this project does not believe that either advertisement or the Seduction community are innately corrupt or dishonesty. As in most groups within given societies, there are varying degrees of ethical practices with both seducers and advertisers. It would be an injustice to label all advertisers and pick-up artists as fraudulent. “Being a PUA doesn't make one inherently manipulative or dirty.” (Illpapinyc, 2006)

Definition of a Pick-up Artist & Seduction

2007-03-07T07:17:00.000-08:00

Pick-up artist (PUA) is someone skilled in the arts and non-exact sciences of seduction. (I made this one up).

“Seduction is the use of temptation and enticement, often sexual in nature, to attract or influence the behavior of another. Traditionally, the word implied leading someone astray, as when a man lures a woman into a sexual relationship without the need to resort to force. In contemporary usage, however, seduction is used more broadly as a synonym for the act of charming someone.“ (wikipedia, 2007)

The above definitions are what I will be using in my paper. My paper is due in less than two weeks (along with 2 other papers & 2 other finals...yikes). Let me know if you have any comments regarding the PUA definition. Thank you.

Behind every great man is a great woman. And I want to be that woman for my man

2007-03-06T08:47:00.000-08:00

I am beginning to recognize a pattern with me when it comes to dating men. I've noticed, retrospectively, that I get very interested in what ever the guy I am dating is involved with. I can remember it occurring as far back as 10-years ago when I started a relationship with my first (and only) serious boyfriend, Jealous Jason. I've mentioned him before in a post here, and here.

He wanted to be a film director and go to film school. At the time, I remember thinking it takes a lot of courage to go against his father's wishes for his son to follow in the family business. I also thought it was particularly bold to desire pursuing something so risky.

I had no idea what I wanted to be or what I was going to do with my life but I felt my own social and family pressures to do something non creative/non risky. After high school, I had several professional positions and the typical transitional retail jobs.

Education was never really pushed on me by my mother. And I've never had a relationship with my father (as far as I know, he never graduated high school). My mother never got a college degree herself, nor did her parents (one of her brothers did but he was always looked down upon for being an overachiever) and she definitely could not afford to send any of us children to a university. I think the lack of educational support I received at home is why I now value my eduction so much. But I digress. Back to my retrospective look at my relationship patterns.

So, I distinctly remember being very supportive of Jealous Jason's aspirations to go to film school. I'd encourage him and helped him with school projects and learned as much as I could to help him achieve his goals.

I did the same for his musical aspirations as well. I would sit through long practice/jam sessions. I'd contribute to naming his band or songs or assist in any way that I could. I even started learning about band promotion, so that I could help his band get public and media attention.

Well, neither his music career or his film career went anywhere far. He eventually left film school and we eventually broke up. But not before starting a local-music promotion business together.

After our break up. I continued with helping some local bands and re-enrolled back a junior college after being downsized for a corporate position at one of the world's largest oil companies. I figured I didn't want to be stuck in jobs that had little or no creativity involved in them. I credit Jealous Jason for inspiring such desires within me.

So, I re-enrolled at my local junior college. When I went back to school, I focused strictly on theatre and film&TV. I studied for 3-years to be an actress and writer. I was lucky enough to be attending a junior college that had an amazing theatre department.

I was also lucky enough to study intermediate and advanced acting with the school's most renowned acting teacher. He studied under Stella Adler and other great theatre coaches from the early years.

I also continued promoting local bands. My best guy friend, Bass Bob, is a bass player and I ended up getting an article written about his band in the local paper because of my bold marketing strategies.

After 3-years of studying theatre, I decided that I wanted to get a Bachelor's degree. I also decided that a Bachelor's degree in theatre probably wasn't the best degree to pursue. But at the same time, I still had no idea what I wanted to major in, focus on, or which career path I wanted to follow.

My interests were and still are varied and I honestly could be happy in many different fields. At that point, I just decided to get the general eduction requirements out of the way. Finally 2-years later, I was ready to transfer. I applied to 4 universities and got into 3.

But this post isn't about my eduction, it's about my pattern of dating. I have dating a lot of men over the last several years, few of which actually have progressed into being called "my boyfriend" but nonetheless exciting men, with exciting lives. And I tend to want to get involved with what they're doing and help them succeed.

This desire to help the men, I date, succeed can come off as a bit over zealous and it seems to be a sticking point in my most recent relationship. I really want him to be successful and do well in his line of work. I, honestly, have nothing but good intentions but you know what they say about good intentions, right?

I really like the guy I am dating right now and I do NOT want to do anything to fuck it up. PERIOD. I just hope he can see that or understand that about me. I am not ready to screw up another relationship, especially with this guy. I just want to be that great woman behind this great man.

Incubus "I Miss You" lyrics

To see you when I wake up
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three-fold, Utopian dream.

You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said "I miss you"?

I see your picture.
I smell your skin on
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care,
And I miss you.

Who lies more? Men or Women?

2007-03-06T03:25:00.000-08:00

I hate fucking up and losing the trust of those I care about deeply. I can't sleep. Ugh!

Follow up to SunTzu's phone # close; it was a fake #

2007-03-06T00:40:00.000-08:00

I talked to SunTzu last night and he told me the # the girl gave him on Friday night was the # to a funeral home. Ugh. You can see his field report and my specific advice here.

Since I am not an expert, I relied on giving him advice from different sources I've come across in my research. Mainly advice from the free chapter from the upcoming book, Magic Bullets and The Mystery Method.

I have to admit I really like TMM because the stages and elements it teachers seem to be things that naturally happen in REAL relationships. And I really like the advice the instructors give in their blogs. And as a follow-up to a previous post on framing, I got a greater understanding from Sinn's recent post on the same subject. It actually scares me how preceptive these guys are.

And in my advice to SunTzu I think I may have coined a new acronym, DOD (Display of discomfort). In my opinion, asking a question like "What makes you different from all the other girls I know?" is a question that honestly should NOT be used before the qualification stage (I think A3). And a PUA shouldn't be in A3 (qualification) until the girl has shown at least 3 IOIs. Maybe I am wrong.

Using a line like that before attraction switches have been flipped by DHVs (leader of men, protector of loved ones, and preselected by other women, and Tenmagnet's Successful Risk taking attraction switch) is socially awkward. And women being the socially-literate creatures that they are, know this. A PUA is actually DLV by using such a line too early.

Again, I am not an expert but I am female. And I think I am objective enough to admit what really works or what effects certain things have on women. Admittedly, I still have a great deal to learn about this community and how to help guys succeed with women but I think I am well on my way.

Positioning in Advertising and Seduction

2007-03-05T09:16:00.000-08:00

As part of the evolutionary arms race comparison of the Seduction Community and the mass media for my Communication Studies paper, I am also going to be focusing on positioning.

My Opinions:

It's my opinion that PUAs strive to position themselves in the minds of targets in unique and innovative ways. Women, in general, have developed resistance to AFC techniques and PUAs try to stay a head of this resistance by approaching women in ways they haven't been approached before, thus placing themselves in original positions in the women's minds. I believe DHVs are one type of positioning devices PUAs use to accomplish their goals.

I believe beautiful women are bombarded with approaches and attempts at attraction and seduction and a PUA takes this into consideration when approaching these women.

Your Contributions:

I am looking for message board posts, blogs, articles, or other PUA sources that deal with how positioning in the minds of the targets and positioning oneself against competition. If you know of any public sources or are interested in writing a public source, please leave the link(s) to the source(s) in the comment section of this blog post. I've added specific comments to some of the quotes; my opinions appear in (parenthesis) and italics.

Advertising Quotes regarding Positions:

"Advertising is, for the most part, unwanted unliked. In some cases, advertising is thoroughly detested." (I believe the same could be said of the Seduction Community but have no source to reference).

"In spite of its reputation, or perhaps because of it, the field of advertising is a superb testing ground for theories of communication. If it works in advertising, most likely it will work in politics, religion, or any other activity that requires mass communication." (p. 2)

"So the examples in this book could just as well have been taken from the field of politics, war, business, or even the science of chasing the opposite sex." (p. 2)

"Positioning starts with a product. A piece of merchandise, a service, a company, an institution, or even a person. Perhaps yourself." (p. 2)

"Anyone can use positioning strategy to get ahead in the game of life." (p. 4)

"To be successful today, you must touch base with reality. And the only reality that counts is what's already in the prospect's mind."(I believe the same could be said of the Seduction Community and the target's mind but have no source to reference). (p. 5)

"To be creative, to create something that doesn't already exist in the mind, is becoming more and more difficult. If not impossible." (p. 5)

"Today's marketplace is no longer responsive to the strategies that worked in the past." (p. 5)(I believe the same could be said of the Seduction Community but have no source to reference).

"We have become an overcommunicated society." (p. 6)

"In the communication jungle out there, the only hope to score big is to be selective, to concentrate on narrow targets, to practice segmentation. In a word, 'positioning.'" (p. 6)

"The mind, as a defense against the volume of today's communication, screens and rejects much of the information offered it. In general, the mind accepts only that which matches prior knowledge or experience." (p. 6) (The second sentence of this statement is difficult for me to believe, especially when being paralleled with women. I believe the PUA is actually trying to do things that do NOT match prior knowledge or experience in hopes of positioning themselves as different/better than others men.)

"Once a mind is made up, it's almost impossible to change it." (p. 6) (I strongly agree with this statement and think PUAs aim to aid women in making up their minds in regards to favoring PUAs).

"The only defense a person has in our overcommunicated society is an oversimplified mind." (p. 6)

"We communicate with each other in a wide variety of bewildering ways." (p. 7) (I couldn't agree more and I think PUAs aim to master this bewildering communication to their advantage.)

"'Glittering generalities" have become a way of life in our overcommunicated society." (p. 7)

"It's a selection project. You have to select the material that has the best chance of getting through." (p. 8) (This can be seen in the different methods, strategies, and techniques offered from various individuals, businesses, and groups with the Seduction community.)

"When you want to communicate the advantages of a political candidate or a product or even yourself, you must turn things inside out." (p. 8)

"You look for the solution to your problem inside the prospect's mind." (a PUAs problem is seducing a women; the answers to seducing women lie within her individual mind.)

"'In politics,' said John Lindsay, 'the perception is the reality." So, too, in advertising, in business, and in life." (p. 8) (and I'd say in seduction also).

"The only answer to the problems of an overcommunicated society is the positioning answer." (p. 14)

"In our overcommunicated society, the paradox is that nothing is more important than communication. With communication going for you, anything is possible. Without it, nothing is possible. No matter how talented and ambitious you may be." (p.19)

"Positioning is an organized system for finding a wind in the mind. It is based on the concept that communication can only take place at the right time and under the right circumstances." (p.19)

"The easy way to get into a person's mind is to be first." (p.19) (I'd love to see PUA write about being unique and innovative to get into the target's mind.)

"Falling in love is similar phenomenon. While people are more selective than ducks, they're not nearly as selective as you might think." (p.20)

"What counts most is receptivity. Two people must meet in a situation in which both are receptive to the idea. Both must have open winds. That is, neither is deeply in love with someone else." (p.21)

"If you want to be successful in love or in business, you must appreciate the importance of getting into the mind first." (p.21) (I believe being the first to approach a woman in a unique way positions a PUA to be in "the mind first".If a woman is approached with the same AFC tactics over and over again, she begins to resist it so PUA have to be creative to approach her in, what appear to be, original ways).

"You build brand loyalty in a supermarket the same way you build mate loyalty in a marriage. You get there first and then be careful not to give them a reason to switch." (p.21)

"If you didn't get into the mind of your prospect first (personally, politically, or corporately), then you have a positioning problem." (p.21)

"The chaos in the marketplace is a reflection of the fact that advertising just doesn't work the way it used to. But old traditional ways of doing things die hard" (p.23)(Reminds me of AFCs; they don't want to learn new ways of attracting and seducing women).

"Messages prepared in the old, traditional ways have no hope of being successful in today's overcommunicated society." (p.23)

"The fund and games of the sixties and seventies have given way to the harsh realities of the eighties." (p.24)

"To succeed in our overcommunicated society, a company must create a position in the prospect's mind, a position that takes into consideration not only the company's own strengths and weaknesses, but those of its competitors as well." (p.24) (Again something I see PUAs doing).

"Advertising is entering an era where strategy is king." (p.24) (I think there may be something in the Magic Bullets about this...I'll have to check)

References

All above quotes came from Positioning: The Battle for Your Mind written by Al Ries and Jack Trout.

What does Dinner with 12 strangers, a panel of film speakers, Sandra Oh, and an ambulance have in common?

2007-03-05T05:00:00.000-08:00

They were all a part of last night's very interesting school hosted event with an unsettling ending.

If you know me then you know, I love my school. And you also know I do my best to take advantage of all the resources that are available to me as a student. I use services, participate in workshops, aid in research, and attend events. Last night there was an event called Dinner with 12 Strangers.

The theme of my event was Film & TV. Although I am currently an English major, I've studied for 3 years in theatre and have taken many film related courses, workshops, and seminars. In fact, at my school I've taken more film related classes than classes in the English Department.
The dinner I attended was in a part of Hollywood that I have previously never visited. There were multiple dinners last night in various locations and with various themes (and apparently some dinners had no themes at all).

The hundred year old house the dinner was hosted at was very lovely. It had hardwood floors, wood paneling, wood beams on the ceiling and great decorative details. The hostess had lit with various candles around the space giving it a warm-angelic glow. There were even candles in an outside candle chandelier framed perfectly in the large bay window in the front room.

There was plenty of wine, at least 3 types of grapes, huge strawberries, crackers, 4 types of cheeses, and chocolate spread around the dining room. The chocolate also appeared around the seating area in the living room. At the begining the students were allowed to mingle and mixed for a while. The typical college introductions swirled around the dining room table as we munched and communicated with each other. It was a great group of students.

Before long the Hostess gathered us all in the front room to hear several of the guest speakers speak before dinner was serviced. I was over joyed to learn that our hostess is a writer. Since I aspire to be a writer myself, I found it particularly enjoyable to take part in that specific dinner last night.

Another very interesting and unorthodox thing she arranged for us was a series of film and TV speakers to interactively speak with us. There were 4 writers, 1 actress, 1 director/editor, and an acting/voice teacher in attendance.

The first two to speak had to leave early. The first was a director/editor who worked for an independent production company and an actress who says she's being doing about 5 movies a year for the last 20 years. They gave really good advice. The actresses wanted to get the student introductions before she spoke and she wanted to know what part of film interested us most, so that she could try to tailor her advice to her audience.

After the actress spoke, we broke for dinner and enjoyed chicken, rice, croissants and salad. After I got my dinner I noticed a girl on the couch crying, we'll call her Emotional Emily. There was another girl comforting her and I went over to see if everything was ok. She seemed comforted after a few moments. And I returned to my seat in enough time to start enjoying dinner as the remaining speakers began.

The hostess reiterated her stance that getting a masters in any area is very important before the teacher then began speaking. The teacher had to leave shortly there after but gave a very motivational talk about the importance of education. After the teacher spoke a visiting writer spoke and gave some information about her writing career.

After she spoke, the professional screenwriter spoke. I commented before he went on, "They saved the best for last." He was very insightful and gave great advice. A reoccurring themes that got tossed around a lot last night was "the process", persistence, practice, patients.

After he spoke the group broke to mingle and mix a bit more as we listened to music. The screenwriter and writer came to talk to me and I asked them about their writing processes.

Our conversation was interrupted when Emotional Emily was being carried into the room. She quickly began puking and passed out. Someone said, "She's having a seizure." I rushed over to help others with her. After a minute or so she came to. She was weak and responsive enough. But the paramedics were called. They quickly showed up and begin asking her a bunch of questions. They decided to take her to the hospital because her blood pressure was low. I stayed by her side until they carried her out.

Because I had driven others to the event, I decided not to go to the hospital. And the Hostess and 3 other students had already offered to go to the hospital with Emotional Emily. As we were making the arrangements outside, a car pulled up and Sandra Oh was driving. She asked the hostess what had happened and the Hostess explained.

Sandra Oh drived away to her home and the Hostess explained that Sandra lives down the street and would have been a speaker at the event but she had to work that night. Sandra Oh is the very first celebrity I've actually seen and recognized since I've moved to L.A. nearly 6 months ago.

I was unsettled the remainder of the night and even had disturbed dreams. I still haven't heard about Emotional Emily's condition as of yet.

Up until the Emotional Emily's collapse the evening was wonderful. We even agreed to meet up as a group at a restaurant near campus.

Field Report: What do Happy Hour, Dead Animals, Killer Music, and Booze have in common?

2007-03-04T10:18:00.000-08:00

Ohmigawd! The craziest thing happened last night at the Natural History Museum. In addition to dead animals, killer music, booze, there was also HBs, hot dogs on a stick with fresh lemonade, dinosaur and other animal bone displays, short films, a pseudo boat, killer kids room, a sasquatch and did I mention the Tina Turner Twins?

A friend of mine, SunTzu (formerly known as Yakuza in this post), invited me to hang out at his friend's party on Saturday night. What I didn't know before showing up is that the party was a film festival and DJed party at the Natural History Museum hosted by Happy Hour 2.

I love film and the short films that were screened were hilarious, fun, and informative (in some instances). After the films were screened we got a live performance of "Proud Mary" by the Tina Turner Twins, complete with flying confetti. And at the end a big sasquatch came out (if you know me than you know, I have a recent affinity for big things...so that part made me happy).

After the film screening and before that party, we stopped off at a conveniently located Hot Dog on a Stick stand. We were both hungry. I remember seeing a segment on the Food Network about this company. They make the display of dipping the dogs in the batter right in front of customers and the lemonade is made fresh every 2 hours. SunTzu was astonished at how fast I scarfed down my dog but I was hungry. Can you blame me?

SunTzu is a newbie in the community and the goal for the night was to talk to as many people as possible; I was his social proof for the evening. We ended up opening several sets of HBs with situational openers about the museum and films. It was fun.

Once inside SunTzu needed a drink and I opened a 3 set (2m&1f), we'll call her HBAsiangirl. The two males quickly left and SunTzu joined us. I DHVed for SunTzu but it was loud in the bar room. So we wondered around the museum checking out all the other cool rooms and displays.

SunTzu opened a two set while he was waiting for me when I was in the bathroom. We saw them again after that but his reopen was a little awkward and the room we were in stunk so bad because it had a bunch of animal bone displays in it. Needless to say, the room wasn't a target rich environment.

There was a kids room with a cool theater seating arrangement. It resembled rolling grassy hills. There were tons of cool dead animals displayed around the room. Which was great for photo opportunities; too bad I forgot my camera at home. However, I opened a mixed 2 set with a photo opportunity.

The other cool room had a large pseudo boat in it with the illusion of water, working telescopes, moving steering wheel and other semi-functional parts. That room had displays of (stuffed) animals in recreations of their natural environment. The gorilla was the best (do you see a reoccurring theme with my fascination of big hairy beasts?)

I opened a 2set by offering to take their photo of them in front of the elephant display. HBAustria was cool and friendly but her friend had to go, so they left quickly. HBAustria said she'd see us later but we never ran into her again.

Then of course there were big HUGE dinosaurs and other large sea animal displays in several of the rooms. My favorite was the Savage Ancient Seas room. There were some gnarly big fossils of some (none dinosaurs) bones. There was a hesperornis regalis (marine bird), a clidastes propython (marine lizard), amongst others.

I opened a few sets in the large display lobby before moving back into the boat room where we opened our last set. The last girl we opened was HB9 (in my opinion), we'll call her HBRussian. She was fun and played along with our musings until her friend (presumably her date), we'll call him AMOG Rings. Because he had two rings on. One was a watch band turned into a ring. I mentioned to him the site JustMetal for men's rings.

SunTzu commented that wearing a ring on the middle finger means he's a partier (from a ring routine). I hadn't read that routine before and it was cool. AMOG Rings got antsy and started displaying his alpha behavior very quickly. So we moved on.

Afterwards we debriefed shortly. And I ended up giving SunTzu some advice on the #close he got on Friday. The advice I gave him mostly came from the free chapter from Magic Bullets.
He wanted to call and ask her what she did after she left the bar Friday (he called it a "time bridge" but I don't think that's the correct way to use that term) and he wanted to tell her about some "man drama"/Alpha issues that occurred after she left.

I thought that was a REALLY bad idea to start off the conversation. I tried to convince him that it would be much better to start the conversation with "You'll never believe what I did at the Natural History Museum last night".

Amongst some of the reasons I gave him were: It shows he has an exciting life; She's a art instructor, she'll be interested in museum stuff; He can use a slight jealousy plot line by mentioning he went with a friend and then saying 'she' once or twice in reference to his friend (me); She might wonder why he didn't invite her; and it will start the conversation off on a high energy/positive level. I think he realized that my advice was better than what he was going to do.

I also told him to plan what he was going to say first, to get pumped up before calling, and to call me to practice if he needed. I also suggested that if he was going to invite her to the Getty Museum next weekend he should DHV by telling her "I am going to the Getty Saturday afternoon with a friend, Do you want to tag along?" If she says, "yes". Than on Saturday he can tell her that his friend had a photo shoot to do at the last minute and couldn't make it. If she can't make it or says, "No" at least she'll know his life doesn't revolve around her.

All in all it was a very interesting night, I had a blast, and the girls we talked to were very international.

Evolutionary Arms Races in Seduction & Media

2007-03-03T14:44:00.000-08:00

The focus of my paper (per my professor's guidance) is going to be a comparison of parallels between the evolutionary arms races in the Seduction Community and in the mass media.

Advertisers, entertainers, news dispensers and seducers have to continual evolve their strategies because the tactics that they develop quickly loose efficiency when their targets/prospects develop resistance to those tactics/strategies.

How you can contribute:
If you are interested in contributing to my research you can make your own posts or refer me to existing posts.

If you want to make your own post, please make it a public post (discussion forum, blog, podcast, etc) regarding any of the below mentioned ideas/topics/themes.

Please also let me know if you know of other online references that may be helpful to my research. All comments and links can be left in the comment section of this post. I'll review the material and consider using it for my project.

Take a look at some of the ideas/topics/themes I've already gathered below:

Definition:
"An evolutionary arms race is an evolutionary struggle between to competing sets of co-evolving genes [in this case humans] that develop adaptations and counter-adaptations against each other, resembling an arms race." (Wikipedia, 2007)

"Arms race is also used to describe any competition where there is no absolute goal, only relative goals of staying ahead of the other competitors [and targets/prospects]." (Wikipedia, 2007)

Other quotes:
"Sex is an evolutionary puzzle." (Wikipedia, 2007)

"In addition, males and females must spend resources to attract and compete for mates." (Wikipedia, 2007)

"There is an arms race between advertisers and their potential customers." (Steen, 2007)

"Their work represents a ramping up in the arms race between advertisers and their audience." (Steen, 2007)

"In a co-evolutionary arms race, audiences gradually learn to resist advertisers' techniques." (Steen, 2007)

“The male’s goal is seduction: He is trying to manipulate the female into falling for his charms, to get inside her head and steer her mind his way. The evolutionary pressure is on him to perfect displays that make her well disposed toward him and sexually aroused so that he can be certain of mating.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 161)

“The technologies of seduction have been developed to help even the playing field.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 5)

“In a monogamous society a woman often chooses a mate long before he has had a chance to become a ‘chief’, and she must look for clues to his future potential rather than rely only on past achievements. Poise, self assurance, optimism, efficiency, perseverance, courage, decisiveness, intelligence, ambition--these are the things that cause men to rise to the top of their professions. And not coincidentally, these are the things women find attractive.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 298)

“If you exhibit the right traits, then women will take a bet on you. They’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, even though you may not have the corner office just yet. They’re guessing that, based on your personality, you will some day.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 6)

“Body language matters for male sexiness.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 298-299)

“While it’s easy to think every human being is idiosyncratic and unique, the book [The Red Queen] explains how our mating choices are the result of evolutionary and biological pressures over thousands of years.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 7)

“Seduction techniques such as peacocking, social proof, and projecting confidence work in the animal kingdom as well as among humans.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 7)

"In 1972, Robert Trivers explained why the genders have such disparate goals. The gender that invest the most in children (such as the way women carry a fetus for nine months) is the one that has the least to gain from an extra mating. The gender that invest the least has extra time to spend searching for other mates.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 3)

“Therefore, broadly speaking, males invest less and seek quantity of mates, while females invest more and seek quality of mates.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 133)

“Because of those different goals, scientists define a reality that every man who has ever entered a singles club immediately learns.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 3) “Males compete for the attention of females.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 133)

“Females choose; their choosiness is inherited; they prefer exaggerated ornaments; exaggerated ornaments are a burden to males. That much is now uncontroversial.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 138)

“Inherently, peacocking, like all pickup techniques, isn’t meant to be easy.” (Strauss, 2006, p.3)

“We tend to think it’s the woman’s place to be uncomfortable. High-heels, push-up bras, tight shirts, and waxed eyebrows (and other body parts!) are just part of being a fashionable, attractive woman. But to be a successful pickup artist, you have to be willing to carry some of that burden yourself.” (Strauss, 2006, p.3)

“It may feel uncomfortable or not cool sometimes, but it conveys confidence and leadership and individuality when you’re wearing those clothes (as opposed to letting them wear you). And though we weren’t born with antlers or colorful tail feathers, fortunately we can purchase and adorn the equivalent.” (Strauss, 2006, p.3)

“Ridley points out that peacocks are among the few birds to gather together in groups for sexual selection. Scientists call this gathering a ‘lek’. (Strauss, 2006, p.4)

“The characteristic of the lek is that one or a few males, usually those that display near its center, achieve the most mating, but the central position of a successful male is not the cause of his success so much as the consequence: Other males gather around him.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 141)

“In guppy fish, females that have been allowed to see two males, one of which is already courting a female, subsequently prefer that [already attached] male to the other even if the female that was being courted is longer present.” (Ridley, 2003, p. 146). “Obviously, social proof is effective, even in the animal kingdom.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 4)

“For the aspiring pickup artist, The Red Queen is an invaluable text that provides useful information on how our social interaction has evolved over thousands of years. And how it continues to evolve. The Red Queen not only tells you how we got here, but provides solid scientific evidence that you need to constantly improve your game.” (Strauss, 2006, p.2)

“The struggle for seduction never gets easier. However well a pickup artist may adapt his game, he can never relax, because the hard bodies and alpha-males are also adapting their tactics. Seduction is a zero-sum game.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 2)

“You must constantly refine your game. Seek to grow beyond just spitting out canned routines and pickup techniques you’ve memorized. Always be learning, and then challenge yourself to grow beyond what you’ve learned. Become your own guru. Because you can bet that whatever technique you’re memorizing, someone else is working on the antidote.” (Strauss, 2006, p.2)

“Ridley explains that the instinctual goal for every female animal is to find a mate with the genetic makeup necessary to be a good husband, a good father, or a good sire. Male animals, on the other hand, have a goal of locating as many wives and mothers as possible.” (Strauss, 2006, p. 3)

“We’ll be able to adjust somehow.” (Waxlrose, 2006)

“If women start to get bombarded with "the game" then you had better believe they will adapt defenses against it.” (Merlin, 2006)

“Fact is, being successful with girls (or at least better than the average Joe) is about adapting your own behaviour [behavior],” (Borris, 2006)

“Evolve faster than the media can blow it [the Seduction Community] open. Stay two steps ahead at all times.” (Hysteria, 2006)

“being a PUA doesn't make one inherently manipulative or dirty.” (Illpapinyc, 2006)

“The game may be about to bite itself in the ass. That or its gotta evolve big time.” (Irish83, 2006)

Learn to adapt and evolve faster than anybody else.” (Hysteria, 2006)

“It's about developing your self. Your skillset. Your social intelligence. Your 'alpha qualities'. Your lifestyle. Your natural attractiveness to women.” (Roman_be, 2006)

References

The links following the quotes should take you to the exact online location of the referenced text. If there is not a link quote, the information is NOT available for public viewing online and the reference is listed below.

PUAs' pseudonyms are listed in the references because PUAs use pseudonyms instead of real names, unless the PUA's name is publicly known (i.e., Style is listed as Strauss).

Steen, F. “Class Lecture Notes” (2007) Retrieved March 3, 2007 (will appear in appendix of project)

Strauss, N. (2006, July) "The red queen: study guide".
Stylelife. Retrieved February 27, 2007 (will appear in appendix of project)

Ridley, M (2003) The red queen New York, Harper Perennial.

Revised Definition of the Seduction Community

2007-03-02T18:02:00.000-08:00

My revised definition of the Seduction Community:

A loosely connected world-wide subculture of (mostly) men who strive for consistent success with attracting and seducing women. This overriding intention is facilitated with improvements of self (inner game), skills, and lifestyle. In addition, they seek greater understanding of male, female, and social psychology and dynamics. This community is networked “together through internet forums and groups, as well as over a hundred local clubs, called ‘lairs’” and other similar local groups and gatherings. Within this community, there are individuals, businesses, and organizations with varying fundamentals, strategies, and philosophies, that offer advice, products, and services that help assist their diverging objectives.

Your feedback is greatly appreciated. (see previous post of more details)

Defining the Seduction Community

2007-02-26T15:47:00.002-08:00

I NEED YOUR FEEDBACK. If you took the time to stop by my blog & read this blog...PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK.

As some of you know, I am currently working on a Seduction Community Project for my Communication Studies class.

The project is focused on the parallel concepts in the "the community" with concepts in media (advertising, entertainment, propaganda).

I am having a very difficult time finding a "GOOD" workable definition for the community. There is a bad definition (in my opinion) on wikipedia. So I came up with my own version of the definition:

A loosely connected world-wide subculture of (mostly) men who strive for consistent success with seducing women through self-improvement and greater understanding of female and social psychology. These men are called pick-up artists (PUAs) and are skilled (or seek to be skilled) in the arts and non-exact sciences of seduction. These men are networked “together through internet forums and groups, as well as over a hundred local clubs, called ‘lairs’” and other similar local groups and gatherings.

What do you think? I am looking for CONSTRUCTIVE feedback on my definition.

Things I can live without: pain

2007-02-24T19:51:00.000-08:00

I'd type more but it hurts too much.

What I love about L.A.: Passionate People Performing

2007-02-20T08:14:00.000-08:00

I love long 3-day weekends because I don't have class on Tuesday so they really turns into 4-day weekends. And there's so much to be done in 4 days.

I love seeing people create with passion and L.A. has it's share of beautifully passionate people performing all kinds of creative things. This weekend I witnessed some great performances from L.A.'s finest.

Live music has been a huge part of my life over the last few years that I lived in the San Francisco bay area. Few people know this but I started my own business with my Ex-boyfriend, Jealous Jason, before we broke up. Our business focused on helping local musicians with public and business relations. Which is really a fancy way to say, we handled publicity, merchandising, and other promotion-based stuff for local bands. It's actually how I met my best guy friend, Bass Bob, who is a bass player. I worked with his band and actually got them press coverage. And come to think of it, it is also the way I met my best girlfriend, Attractive Ashley, too. I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything in the world.

I've seen some of my favorite bands perform live too. Being apart of that local music scene made it easy to be apart of the large touring music scene. I've gotten backstage passes to the warped tour, hangout with and ate with my favorite touring musicians, and took a 12-hour road trip with my younger brother, Too-Tall Timmy, to Arizona to see our favorite band after bowling with them before their show. You've never lived until you've done something uniquely interesting like that.

Until this weekend, I've yet to experience anything that cool in L.A. I know it exist here but I just haven't had the opportunities I had in the Bay Area. This weekend I got to see interesting live musical performances. Well, technically it wasn't in L.A. It was just outside of L.A. at a music store that turned into a venue at night. This was a cool place. All the vinyl and musical instruments were cleared out of the way and a stage was erect. There was strangely interesting artwork and decor in the music store. Several paintings that looked like they were inspired by Salvador Dali and some Halloween inspired items, including a life size skeleton sitting on a bench wearing a tie. And if you know me, you know I love ties and Halloween stuff.

And it amazes me what people can do with electronics live. The first performer had his own electronic instrument that he played. I forget the name of it but this guy was good at it. The next band had a real guitar and bass, plus electronic drums and other sounds, and a very talented and beautiful singer. The last group was the reason my friends and I were there. I was with Sexy Sharon and Crazy Carla and we were invited to see Artsy Aaron and his friends jam. And it was truly a jam session. Artsy Aaron had his own electronic music and a sax, guitar, and bass player jamming to his music. Finally, the last performers to the music stage were some DJs. But before the last DJs went on there was a fire performance outside.

I love fire. I love the way it looks when it's being performed with. I had an Ex-boyfriend who performed with fire, Jostled Josh. This weekend Bad-ass Brenda performed and she was hot. I've never seen a fire hoola-hoop before and it was amazing. Sexy Sharon said that Bad-ass Brenda was a really cool chick because she enjoyed showing other fire performers how to do certain tricks, which I guess is rare amongst fire performers. As long as I've known Sexy Sharon, I've never actually seen her perform fire and she was too tired to perform it that night. But I saw Crazy Carla perform with a staff. I love it when she spins the staff to make the flame go really high into the air. Something about fire gets me hot.

Speaking of hot, Sexy Sharon also invited to me a Burlesque show at Aqua on the following night. That place is amazing. They have aquariums in the walls and beautiful decor. And the bathrooms aren't for men & women; they are for sharks and mermaids....ha. Sexy Sharon showed up with Jezebel Julie. Jezebel Julie is a firecracker. She's boldly beautiful with brilliant black hair (I love alliterations) and picturesque features. She boldly called out to a young man, Ex-Eddie, who was sitting alone. She lured him over towards us with the sole intent to entertained herself while we waited for a table. He was fun. We talked about tattoos before getting our table.

He asked a lot of question and answered all of ours. He was stopping by to see his Ex-girlfriend who turned out to be our waitress. We'll call her Waitress Wilma. She made a comment about all men being liars later in the evening and I asked if her Ex-Eddie was a liar too. She said "Oh hell yeah" She was a live wire and sassy as hell. And from the looks of it it doesn't seem like Ex-Eddie will be her Ex for much longer. I saw them kissing in between sets. Young love is so fascinating.

And we met up with Jaded James. He studied at my school in a professional program that I am interested in pursuing after I get my B.A. He gave me some advice. Sharon was bragging about my current writing project but I don't really like talking about it too much. So the conversation quickly turned to the food and the beautiful burlesque babes. The food at Aqua is really good but really expensive, so it's a good thing I ate before I left the house. And the Burlesque Babes were smokin' hot. They performed one of my favorite numbers from Chicago. Nothing like a Cell Block Tango to start of the night.

Jezebel Julie wanted to head home early so she could play with some of her new "toys". Later Sexy Sharon told me that Jezebel Julie kept commenting on my looks and said I was the type of woman she would have been attracted to when she was dating women. Too bad I just met her this weekend. We could have had some fun. I am not sure where Jaded James went to but Sharon and I wound up at nymph party in the valley.

There's nothing hotter than a house full of half-dressed mystical creatures running around a party. I love themed parties. I used to go to these "Kinky" parties in San Francisco monthly. Every month the theme would change. I always find it fun to dress up and mingle with like-minded people. The house in valley was designed with social events in mind. And all the ladies were incredibly beautiful.

I thought it was strange when one girl asked me if I was a model and when I said no, she asked, "Then what are you?" I laughed and told her, "I am a student". She pointed to her friend that looked like Alanis Morrisette and said she was a model. That whole interaction made more sense after I realized that the party was also a "models and artists" get together. One things for sure, the "Kinky" parties in S.F. never had this many beautiful people.

A funny thing happened when I went looking for weed. I ran into Director Derrick. I have been avoiding him lately because I don't want to get physical with him. I've used school as an excuse not to see him, which is a legitimate excuse, by the way. He tried to bust my balls by saying, "I thought you'd be studying." My reply was, "I studied for 6 hours today and thought I could really use a break." He was cool about it. In fact, I'd say he's a really cool person. He smoked me out. And introduced me to a bunch of his friends. I had met some of them previously, so it was cool to have familiar faces to bump into. His friends are all very intriguing.

There was Pregnant Polly and her lover, Alluring Allister, and her gay brother. Pregnant Polly is expecting Alluring Allister's twins, she's 40 and her gay brother is going to help raise the kids. As far as I can tell, Alluring Allister is going to stay around to be the father, while the gay brother plays nanny. It sounds like the kids will be well loved and taken care of and it seems like everyone involved is level headed enough to pull it off.

Alluring Allister told me a story about the inventor man he works for and his crazy Hollywood Hills home. I guess there are 2o-something themed rooms that were designed by a Broadway set designer. The place sounds amazing. I'd love to see it in person. Director Derrick said he had plenty of good times there.

I finally got to see Sexy Sharon perform fire, topless. She didn't have the proper clothes on so she did it without a shirt. It's ok because she wasn't the only exposed-exceptionally beautiful woman there. She's good. She's been doing it for years. She does poi and staff. And I think she's starting to branch out into other tools too (such as sword, fans, ect). There were other performers too. And all the fire performances were wonderful.

It felt like we were camping out. There was some very fascinating conversation whirling around the fire pit. The sexual control of women in the Elizabethan era; modern socialization of sexual pressure; a South-African instrument that someone had; the rarity of beautiful black women in that scene; mystical woodland creature talk; and Director Derrick gave me a great pep talk about not allowing school stress to get me down. Great conversation and company always make a campfire cozy.

And as if all that wasn't enough. There was a performance piece where all the beautiful, barely dressed, nymphs did ritual things together. At that point in the night, I really wished I was sharing it with the guy I like. The party went into the wee earlier morning and needless to say I was useless the next day.

This weekend I got to see a lot of passionate people performing they passions. Whether it was soulful musicians mid-set, sensual lovers mid-coital, fabulous fire-dancers mid-spin, pretty people mid-exchange, or beautiful burlesque babes mid-number. It's always amazing to see people in the middle of what they are passionate about. And L.A. is full of passionate people.

learning's golden gifts:

2007-02-18T16:42:00.000-08:00

christopher marlow

sporting in the dalliance of love

2007-02-18T16:32:00.001-08:00

Christopher Marlow

I'm guilty...

2007-02-18T12:52:00.001-08:00

Women who can’t commit?!
By Elina Furman

For years, it was the men who had the monopoly on commitment-phobia. But what about commitment-phobic women? Yes, women! Raised to believe that men are the commitment-shy gender, many women coast through life completely oblivious about their own commitment anxiety—believing they want a relationship yet systematically pushing away one perfectly suitable candidate after another. Isn’t it high time we looked at ourselves and admit that maybe, just maybe, we are the ones who have become commitment-challenged? If you’re ready to finally face the truth, go down the list of these common symptoms and see if any apply.

I'd say that coasting "through life completely oblivious" is a very accurate description of my relationship patterns over the last few years. Before moving to L.A. I didn't really "want" a serious relationship because I knew I was going to be going away to a University. But even under those circumstances, I've recently noticed myself "systematically pushing away" every guy who has enter into my life. It alarmed me recently when I pushed an important person out of my life for no apparent reason, other than I was scared. I've really been focusing on self-improvement lately and wanted to understand my strange behavior and bad habit. I never really thought it had anything to do with commitment. After reading this article, it makes a lot more sense now.

* Once the excitement of first romance has passed, you get bored in most of your relationships.

I, personally, don't get "bored" easily in any situation. Usually what happens is after the initial "excitement" wears off, I get freaked. I have no idea what to do and I start to act out in strange ways. Usually this behavior leads to the end of a perfectly suitable relationship.

* You have a habit of dating unavailable men (married, involved with someone else, geographically or emotionally distant, etc.).

I've never dated a married man, well actually I have, but he was getting a divorce (aren't they all?). I avoid men that are involved in committed relationships because I don't want to be the cause of pain for another women, it's just not my style. I avoid men who are "geographically distant", it's one of the items on my "long and elaborate list of requirements" (see below). But "emotionally distant" men have been my specialty.

* You have a long and elaborate list of requirements for your ideal mate.

It's so long and hard you'd think it was a euphemism for something else.

* You consider your married friends’ relationships boring and feel that many of them have settled for too little.

I actually don't. I know very few people around my age that are actually married. And the one couple that springs to mind, seem to be a great couple and I was honored to be invited to their wedding and they now have a little daughter. I couldn't be happier for them because they seem truly happy. And I think I am being very objective about this.

* You cultivate larger networks of friends and acquaintances at the expense of romantic relationships.

I may know a lot of people but the number of people I consider "close" friends is relatively small (probably because I am afraid to commit to even friendships that seem to be serious). I never really thought I allowed my friendships to get in the way of my romances (I'm usually pretty good at sabotaging my own romances) but I did notice that I allowed people's opinions to cloud my perception of my most recent relationship.

* You date more than one man at a time to prevent becoming dependent.

I am totally guilty of this. I've told myself more than once that "It's easier to date more than one guy at a time because my emotions can be shared amongst multiple men". However, as of late, I am finding it very difficult to date more than one guy at a time because it's energy and time consuming. Not to mention, it's very difficult on my emotions and people can get hurt.

* You have a difficult time getting over past boyfriends.

Again, I am very guilty of this. I'm still in love with the first guy I ever had a serious relationship/had sex with. I never realized this was a symptom of my fear of commitment.

By now, you probably have a better idea of where you stand on the commitment meter. If you’re now thinking: “Yep, that’s me,” now what? Is there any hope for getting over these issues? The answer to that is a resounding yes! Here’s how:

Accept your uncertainty
One of the biggest mistakes many of you make is thinking that any uncertainty, however slight, is a sign that your relationship is doomed to failure. You think, “If I’m so confused, that must mean something is wrong with my relationship. Shouldn’t I just know if it’s right?” But indecision and anxiety are a very normal part of making a commitment to someone. If you weren’t a little uncertain, then you’d have something to worry about! Face the fact that there’s never going to be a time when you’re 100 percent certain of anything. So if you’re 80 percent sure that the person you’re with will make a good partner, then that’s all the certainty you’re ever going to get.

This is good advice. It makes sense. And I can put it to use right away. Dating advice should always be this logical, clear, and useful.

Just do it
Once you’ve determined whether you’re 80 percent confident, it may be time to take some good-old fashioned action. Be conscious, be circumspect, and be careful, but take the leap. As with any phobia, we often have to face what scares us the most in order to conquer our fears. So it should come as no surprise that one of the best cures for commitment anxiety is just to make a commitment. And if you make a mistake? Well, so be it. After all, one of the ways we learn to trust our instincts is through hindsight. In the end, following the 80 percent rule will help you take calculated risks, not reckless ones.

See above note. I need to trust my instincts and learn from hindsight more.

Avoid the crystal ball
If you’re on the brink of becoming exclusive, cohabiting, or getting married to someone, it’s all too easy to panic and wonder, “But how will I feel one year, five years, or ten years from now?” After all, people change, right? How do you know you will feel exactly the same way five years from now? The answer is: You don’t! No matter how tempting it is to worry about the future of your relationship, you have to accept that there is absolutely no guarantee that things will work out. Worrying about the future is one way to avoid making a decision. No matter how many psychics or astrologers you visit, no one can tell you what to do with your life or what the future holds. In the end, the best thing you can do is focus on the present. Ask yourself: “Am I getting what I want out of the relationship at exactly this moment?” If the answer is yes (or 80 percent yes), rest assured the prognosis is as good as it’s going to get.

This is one of my biggest problems. I preemptively end all romances as soon as I think the future isn't going to be perfect (see my next notice for further info).

Quit nitpicking
Okay, so men can sometimes act like dominating control freaks, but it’s important to note how often we’re guilty of the same offense. Picking fights, acting moody, and making your partner feel like he’s always doing something wrong is a great way to get someone to break up with you. In fact, that’s exactly what many of you do so you can get out of the relationship or avoid commitment. Many of us commitment-phobes have a perfectionist streak that makes us try to control every aspect of the relationship. Unless our partner fits some preconceived mold, we feel we can’t possibly commit to him. Whether it’s his sloppy ways or inability to dress himself, it can be all too tempting to want to change him or control the relationship. Of course, if you’re not ready to commit, no one will ever be good enough for you. So either accept your partner for who he is or leave the relationship altogether.

I am starting to realize that I can be a "dominating control freak" when it comes to romantic relationships. I have an ideal ("preconceived mold") in my head and I do everything possible to make each relationship fit that ideal. I'm notorious for "picking fights, acting moody, and making my partner feel like he's always doing something wrong." and it usually end the relationship. I have "a perfectionist streak", in which I want each relationship to fit. The problem I am noticing with trying to make relationships fit this mold is I am missing out on real life opportunities to experience unique and unscripted situations with great men. I usually avoid trying to change a man and just opt for moving on when it's clear he doesn't match my unrealistic ideal.

Make room
While it’s important to have a full life, many women overdo it. It may be impressive that you have a gazillion friends and unique hobbies, but if you don’t make room in your life for a committed relationship, don’t be surprised if it keeps eluding you. Think of it like this: Once you make room on a table and clear all the stuff away, something new is bound to appear on it. This rule applies to everything. If you’re obsessed with your pet, work 24/7, are absorbed with your children, or are a clutter bug who’s embarrassed to bring people home, you probably don’t have as much time or space for a committed relationship as you think. So if you fit any of these categories, it may just be time to clean up your act and make some physical, emotional, and psychological room in your life.

Another good piece of advice.

My friend put this article on her blog and I thought it was very insightful and had solid advice. It's rare I come across advice that is useful regarding women and dating. I am reposting it with my comments in hopes someone else benefits from it too. Another friend asked me for my opinion on it, so here it is.

Elina Furman is the author of Boomerang Nation and other books. After years of personal experience with commitment phobia, she conquered her own fear and now lives with her boyfriend in New York City.

Excerpt from KISS AND RUN by Elina Furman. Copyright © 2007 by Elina Furman. Reprinted by permission of Fireside, an Imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

PUA concepts that confuse me (a little): Frame Control

2007-02-15T07:22:00.000-08:00

As much as I like the Seduction community, there are somethings that make me uneasy (which I'll save for another blog post) and something that just confuse me. Frame control is one of those things that I just don't understand all that well.

Sinn did a great post on Frame Control but I am still a little confused. And because there isn't a whole lot of "free" information on frames and frame control I am finding it hard to wrap my brain around this concept.

As I mentioned before I get a lot of free newsletters from various seduction community organizations. Most of it seems pretty useless to my research but I occasionally read through different newsletters when their titles catch my eye.

I recently received a Mehow, Inc. newsletter that mentioned a "frame". But it makes no sense to me. Here's the frame excerpt from the newsletter:

"'You are the cutest ... space alien I've met all night.'

When you do this the content makes it such that you HAVE TO BE PLAYFULL because its hard to come off un-playful when you start talking about space aliens. The reason playful works is that it creates a happy playpen that communicates you are having fun. When you do this women immediately fall into that frame subconsciously and accept the teasing."

What frame involves "space aliens"? Is this an astronaut frame? Sci-fi frame? I don't get how a girl "subconsciously" falls into anything with this frame. It just doesn't make sense to me.

In my paper I want to compare "framing" in advertising to "frame control" in the seduction community. So, I'll have to a little more research or ask a PUA to explain this concept to me.

I think I understand what a frame is. It's a reality that a PUA wants to convey. One example I can think of is "I am the prize" frame.

The thing I am having trouble understanding is how to establish/create and control/maintain that frame. I guess that sort of stuff is covered in the e-books, seminars, and other products available in this community.

I think I'll ask my Professor to explain advertising frames or refer me to the reading where it was discussed. He's mentioned frames in class several times but I don't actually recall reading about them. Maybe if I understanding advertising frames I can understand PUA's frame control. Because understanding PUA stuff has helped me understand advertising stuff (I'm hoping the reverse is true also).

The only other examples of frames I can think of are "framing" in movies and television and literary frames within frames (i.e., Canterbury Tales, etc). And some how I doubt the PUA frame is related to either of these two concepts.

I just bombed my midterm

2007-02-14T15:54:00.000-08:00

Ugh....I am trying to stay positive about this but I am really bummed. It's hard to identify and explicate 7 out of 10 old/middle English passages and take 2 of those passages and compare them to 2 other texts in 50 minutes. Add to that my learning disability and acute physical limitations.

I know my self worth isn't effected by getting an F. I just hate failing. Especially, failing at the school I am at. I've worked very hard to get here. I know I am intelligent, even if I did poorly on this test. I just do NOT want to get bad grades. I strive to maintain my grades so that I have plenty of options after I graduate.

I really need to take the advice I've been giving others lately and stay focused on the good stuff in life. It's not the end of the world, it's just a lousy feeling, that will pass. At least it's Valentine's Day and I can eat as much chocolate as I want without feeling guilty. Yay!

Why I do NOT hate Valentine's Day

2007-02-14T11:47:00.000-08:00

I am a hopeless romantic. And not just in the sense of candle-lit dinners and flowers but also in the sense that I am idealist. If you've read my blog you've seen me write that before. And if you continue to read my blog, you will most likely continue to see me write that again (I am sure of it).

I've been single (without a serious boyfriend) for over 5 years now. In fact, I've only had one serious boyfriend in my entire life. Our relationship lasted for 4 years and it was wonderful (for the most part). We were friends before we became official. And our friendship blossomed because of Valentine's Day 10 years ago.

We met senior year in high school in a psychology class. He had a girlfriend when I first met him. I distinctly remember our first "real" conversation. We were doing a trust exercise and he, his best friend, and I sat in the same group. The groups were divided into levels of trust in other people. (we didn't trust people very much). Because he had a girlfriend I didn't pursue him past that point. Even though I thought he was incredibly cute. Until he broke up with his girlfriend (which was messy).

Our psychology teacher proposed a Valentine's Day gift exchange. And if you know me, you know that I love to give (and receive) gifts. I've never had much money, so I pride myself on giving thoughtful and creative gifts.

So the gift exchange went like this, anyone who wanted to participate could...and of course anyone who didn't want to participate didn't have to. There were maybe 8 guys in a class of at least 30. So when the teacher was handing out names he separated the guys names from the girls names and asked who wanted to draw guys' names. Of course being as boy crazy as I was (and still am) I wanted to get a gift for a guy in class. So I drew my Valentine's Day gift exchange name and it was....

some other cool guy in class.

That was fine. Not a big deal. As the teacher is making his way around the room, the girl behind me asks if I want to change names. I said "Who do you have?" She showed me and without hesitation I took the little piece of paper with his name on it. We'll call him Jealous Jason (because I found out later in the relationship he had troubles with the green-eyed monster). I was so excited. I couldn't hardly wait.

So at this point I knew very little about him but I knew he liked Nine Inch Nails and Tori Amos. I had no idea who Tori Amos was at the time, so I went in search of some of her stuff. Even the workers at the music stores didn't know who she was (remember this was 10 years ago). I eventually got this really morbid poster of her naked and dirty with a pig on her lap; she was in a rocking chair on a front porch. And I also ended up taking a foam disk and putting 9 one-inch nails in it. The nails were placed in the shape of the letters N I N. At the time I thought it was clever and thoughtful. Looking back it was probably pretty lame.

I wrote him a card and put my # in it. He seemed to like the effort I put into the gift and that started our friendship. We ended up going to prom together and he asked me to be his girlfriend that summer, just before I was to start community college and he was to start film school. I admired his ambition to do something so creative. At the time, I had NO idea what I wanted to do with my life or education. And I remember thinking it takes balls to do something none practical...I was even more naive back then than I am now.

I tried to do something special for him every Valentine's Day because I loved him and it was just nostalgic. And on the last Valentine's Day we spent together I did "The 14 days of Valentine's" it was a count down to Valentine's Day and I made a little poem/song that was much like the 12 days of Christmas but with a Valentine's Day theme. On each day I gave him gifts that corresponded to the poem. So 14 hearts, and 13 something or others, and so on and so forth....I can't remember what the poem said or what I actually ended up giving him but they were all cute little V-Day gifts. It was fun to be so creative.

Well, anyhoo enough about the past. I love Valentine's Day for what it has meant to me and what it means to me now and in the future. I do not care if I am single, or if I am casually dating others, or in a (serious) relationship. It's just a day to have fun. And it reminds me of "love" and since I am a romantic anything that reminds me of the possibility of being in love really makes me happy.

Seeing all the red hearts and pink kisses or romantic flowers is great. The consumerism of the holiday does NOT bother me at all. The lovey-dovey stuff doesn't make me sick. And I love the chocolate. Besides it's a day I can dress all in pink (and I look great in pink).

I love Valentine's Day for what it could be...fun and loving and expressions of feelings.

I need a quick opinion

2007-02-13T21:09:00.000-08:00

MY OPENER

I can't stay long because I have a midterm to study for. But I need your opinion on something:

What do you think of The Mystery Method's(TMM) Venusian Arts Handbook (VAH)?

The reason I am asking is because my Communication Studies project/paper proposal is due on Friday. I have to outline what I plan to do in my paper and I am considering using this as a reference. Your opinion is greatly needed.

MY PAPER

My Communication Studies project is focused on comparing advertising and entertainment concepts with similar concepts in the seduction community. Some parallels I am considering discussing are: Branding, Positioning, Evolutionary-Arms race, Frames, Psychological Triggers, etc.

MY REQUEST

If you do NOT own it, please visit the link and list 3-5 things you like about the VAH webpage & 3-5 things you think could be improved on the page. Also list your likelihood of purchasing the VAH on a scale 0-10 (0= would NEVER buy it; 10=I'm ordering it now). You can leave this info as a comment.

If you own the TMM VHA, please leave a review as a comment. Let me know what you think of it. 3-5 things you like and 3-5 things you think could be improved in future editions.

Also please include in your comment: your age, location, sex, and if you consider yourself a PUA or not.

Your feedback is very important to me and my project. It should take anywhere from 5-20 minutes to complete this task (depending on how thorough you want to be). I really appreciate you taking the time to assist me with my project.

My Female Advice to those doing StyleLife Challenge

2007-02-12T07:17:00.000-08:00

TrainWrecker and anyone else having trouble,

I am making this advice public just in case it will help anyone else. I am here to help and give support. I am NOT an expert; I am just a caring individual who wants to see guys succeed. Why you might ask. Because if guys succeed then women succeed. It's that simple. My advice is this:

DO NOT EVER GIVE UP.

Here are some more tips:

Mind-shaping audio:

Listen to the mind-shaping audio every day. Hell, I let it play while I was sleeping for 2 night in a row. Let it sink in. Let it play even when you're not doing the exercise (as background noise). BUT make sure you're doing the exercise too. Do it right before you go out at night and do it right after you get back. Think of the worst part of the night and use that example during the mind-shaping exercise. Give it your full effort. Force yourself to really do it, FULLY. This is meant to build confidence.

Positive-self talk

I am a god. People love me. I glow and radiate charisma and charm. I stand out from everyone else around me. Talking to me is a privilege. I deserve the best the world has to offer. It’s all out there, waiting for ME to take it.

Commit these statements to memory. I memorized them in one day. When ever a negative thought pops into your head repeat one, any, or all of these (or other) positive statements to yourself.

If a HB10 blows you out. Say to yourself "People love me" or "Talking to me is a privilege. She just revoked her privilege." or which ever one makes you feel better. I've done this consistently for the last week, it's helped my stress level and it's helped me feel more confident in social situations.

Your thoughts are very powerful. You can choose to have negative thoughts and they will have a negative impact on your life or you can choose positive thoughts and they will have a positive impact on your life. The point is that you choose. It's difficult at first to recognize or change negative thoughts but take the first step by just acknowledging those negative thoughts and replacing them with something positive.

Visualization:

Again, the power of the mind is incredibly profound. I love to reference Captain Jack's blog.

Do a similar exercise before going out at night. But this time imagine the night the way you want to it to go. See yourself. What are you doing? Where are you? What does your body language look like? What does your smile look like? Who are you with? Make sure there are HBs in your visualization (if that's what you want and I am assuming it is). Visualize the energy from the mind-shaping audio in your visualization of the night. See the energy going 30 feet into the air and expanding all around you. Open a few sets in your visualization. Remember to approach at an angle (ask over your shoulder). Read TenMagnet's blog of an example.

I know it takes more time and energy to do these exercises but ANYTHING worth doing in life or doing anything well in life take more time and energy to do. It's well worth the time and energy you put into it. If you don't believe me, take the time and energy to prove me wrong.

I have more advanced advice but I need to get going before I'm late for class. Please stay tuned. I do NOT want to see anyone give up and I don't want to see anyone defer this for a week. We're here to support you through this.

The Modern Maven's Haven

I Judge You When...You Lower your Own Social Value (Another Guy)

I Like It DEEEEEP: So Why Does It Seem I Can Only Get It Online

Church Girls Do It Better: And So It Is, Amen

I'd like to say a prayer for He Whom is Him (HWH) tonight

Ode to Guys who Know What They are Doing

Approach Anxiety: What do I really want?

Social Literacy: Women read their social environment and you

My Literary Life: Typos And All

I ran into the guy I call Scarface in the library yesterday

I Judge You When....YOU Devalue Your Own Social Status

Why is it so difficult to be honest with the opposite sex?

Amazon's Online Reader Upgrade service

Ideal Reader

The Importance of Crucial Conversations

Where did the weekend go? Random Riffs

Academic: The Art of the Interview & Remix Culture

A Gigantic Update Regarding My Little Brother

Laughter Yoga: What is it?

Gulity Pleasures: iPod!

Laughter Yoga: How it can benefit your seduction, it's no laughing matter

Guilty Pleasures: Designer Water

Omigawd! My Little Bro F closed....hahaha!

Through the Iris - 10 years

Seduction and Social Proof

"schools out for summer"and I found my cell phone, + Puff Puff Pass it along

I lost my cell

Lyrics for the now: Brett Dennen

I'm exhausted and there are still 2 more weeks left of school

Quote of the moment: Wollstonecraft

Most Random Blog Ever!

Monogamy is like Chinese

Arrrgggghhh!!!!!

Lyrics of the now: "Undercover on" Rival Schools

Yay! it's going to be hot for at least the next 3 days

Today I am going to be the new me

In the Grand Fashion of this blog; more randomness

Optimists tend to respond to disappointments by formulating a plan and asking others for help

Some advice I gave my girlfriends today

So much to post so little time to post it all

Forbes link fixed

Things I cannot live without: Girlfriends

Life is NOT perfect but parts of it are excellent

No one likes an asshole

Check out the "Dump the Couch!" article in Forbes

Check out the "Dump the Couch!" article in Forbes

Pressure

See, even my mom gets it

My Inner Game Issues: Stress Management

This passage blows my f***ing mind!

things I Cannot Live Without: Euphemisms [or morning toast]

Did you just see the cat fight outside my window?

Things I Cannot Live Without: Pampering

More comments from readers

A comment from a reader and my response

It's Always Better When We're Together by Jack Johnson

google does have a sense of humor

Wow...I just got the best compliment ever!

Ramblings on the Radio

tears are like throw-up

I almost forgot about wit (preview)

Grades and what I want to be when I grow up (preview)

More randomness

Happy Equinox day

Things I can live without: hairy men

Things I Cannot Live Without: LOVE

Customized t-shirt sayings I want made

5 things I like that PUAs do

I feel awful

It's been a long day and an even longer week

Some comments on my Communication Studies Project

Parallels in Seduction and Advertising regarding Evolutionary Arms Race

Wordsmithery...or I am a radio

Yesterday was a beautiful day, today maybe too

My younger brother is joining the game

I've been dumped, I'm penny less, and my dog just died

Framing in politics and pick-up artistry

Pushing away every guy that gets too close to me

My introduction so far and more resources needed

Definition of a Pick-up Artist & Seduction